Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!
Same
I think this is regional. My friend works at a venue just outside NYC where the minimum cost to have a wedding there is $300k and they have a "barn" event space. Pretty much every wedding hosted there is black tie.
I've also been to "barn" weddings on the Main Line of PA where it was not quite black tie, but still very formal.
You're probably fine in the floral dress. Just do your hair fancier and wear sparkly shoes and jewelry to punch it up.
georgeharrison, Does you nephew seem like the guy who is having a 300K event at the super fancy barn place? Is that what you would have predicted?
Post by jennistarr1 on Feb 10, 2022 20:07:57 GMT -5
Assuming actual animals are not asked to hang out some where else for the day, fancy AF barn "rustic" weddings are what's in right now. Can definitely be very expensive transforming the blank canvas of a barn into a full event venue.
Still I think your dress may be completely fine. Can you show us a picture?
Also, maybe look at photos of the venue online, may give you an idea of what weddings there look like
Post by HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan on Feb 10, 2022 20:13:13 GMT -5
1. It's at a real barn or ar least has hay bales and that's not formal no matter what you're wearing or how much it costs or 2. It's a faux barn thing and that's so instagramy and just no.
These are my feelings. I might take questions on this.
The only barn wedding I’ve ever been invited to… bride was a friend of a friend and handed me a paper invite like 4 days prior to the wedding. I knew it was going to be record breaking hot (August, outside in a barn) and I didn’t really like her, and my husband had to work, so I didn’t go. The wedding photos were posted on Facebook and every guest was sweating through their clothes. It looked absolutely miserable and I laughed while at home in my AC 🤣
Also - no one is really going to be paying attention to you. As long as you’re in a dress/something dressy, no one is going to pay two licks of attention.
Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!
Same
I think this is regional. My friend works at a venue just outside NYC where the minimum cost to have a wedding there is $300k and they have a "barn" event space. Pretty much every wedding hosted there is black tie.
I've also been to "barn" weddings on the Main Line of PA where it was not quite black tie, but still very formal.
You're probably fine in the floral dress. Just do your hair fancier and wear sparkly shoes and jewelry to punch it up.
Agree with #regional. “Barn” weddings are popular in New England because we have an abundance of picturesque barns/old homesteads from the 1700-1800s that have been repurposed into fancy upscale wedding venues. I have never been to a wedding that had hay bales, lol.
Post by liverandonions on Feb 10, 2022 23:49:00 GMT -5
I got married on a farm, and the wedding was in an old train depot type building for the working train that went around the farm. I didn’t tell people what to wear but id say it leaned towards semi formal.
I think people are really putting too much emphasis on the word barn.
Hardwood floors and, bead board, and wood beam ceiling.
The two big barn doors opened up for my entrance with my dad/our recessional and stayed open for the reception after to show off the view
And a funny pic because they parked the train on site 😀
Stop trying to explain barn weddings. We all know "barns" are being built as venues. It's a barn, no matter how much they're bilking you for. You forgo guests in tophats when you choose the barn. There is no formal barn wedding no matter how much it costs. If you have guests that will go to weddings in jeans and you don't want that, don't get married in a barn.
I love this entire conversation since I have a girlfriend who is having her reception in the rustic barn part of a large local wedding venue that can host three wedding at a time. She wanted AC and has a large guest list so that was her only option. It’s pretty rustic and barn like and that is not at all her aesthetic and she’s trying to figure out how she can make it fancy. I spend one night a week rolling my eyes endlessly as she sends me decor options from Pinterest.
I also just got to order a full length bridesmaid dress. For July 23rd. And she wanted the ones without the slits because the slits looked slutty. Lucky me.
Meanwhile my stepsister got married in an actual working barn and we strung up fabric panels along the one wall hoping that people wouldn’t go behind and pull down the axes and jigsaws and tools that were all stuck to the wall. Most everyone wore cowboy boots and jeans and it was a blast. There was no pretence of trying to make it fancy.
I mean, I’m kind of blown away by people going to actual “black tie” or super formal types of events here on the reg. Every invite I’ve ever been to formal just means women please wear dresses and men suits or at least a tie/sport coat.
I think for most people who are not the 1% this is easily interpreted…
Is this only a northeast thing? I’ve been to 2 “barn” weddings here in NJ - both fancy and formal.
I am in NC and have worked in the wedding industry. Barn weddings are similar to the ones in the link above. they are not fancy or formal. Sure you can wear a fancy dress, but it is still a upscale casual event.
I went to a barn wedding in Northern Michigan. It was in an actual barn, on an actual farm that grew heirloom tomatoes. You could see through the cracks between the outer walls. Old exposed wood beams. There was a separate bathroom building that was like a nice porta-potty on a trailer (it was actually quite nice, no gross smell at all, but it was a separate building down the hill behind the barn). Seriously. The only "updates" they did to turn it into an event space was to remove the hay, add lights and electricity, and pour a new floor so it was a solid surface instead of dirt. We wore sun dresses, guys wore nice pants and a collar shirt. Tie optional.
I love this entire conversation since I have a girlfriend who is having her reception in the rustic barn part of a large local wedding venue that can host three wedding at a time. She wanted AC and has a large guest list so that was her only option. It’s pretty rustic and barn like and that is not at all her aesthetic and she’s trying to figure out how she can make it fancy. I spend one night a week rolling my eyes endlessly as she sends me decor options from Pinterest.
I also just got to order a full length bridesmaid dress. For July 23rd. And she wanted the ones without the slits because the slits looked slutty. Lucky me.
Meanwhile my stepsister got married in an actual working barn and we strung up fabric panels along the one wall hoping that people wouldn’t go behind and pull down the axes and jigsaws and tools that were all stuck to the wall. Most everyone wore cowboy boots and jeans and it was a blast. There was no pretence of trying to make it fancy.
Slits are slutty?? LOL When she's looking for ways to make it fancy, suggest she use the mason jars with handles for drinks instead of a plain Bell jar and see if her head explodes!!
When they put formal attire on invitations in H’s family it means just don’t show up on fucking jeans
And in my Hs family it would mean “jeans without oil/paint/farm dirt on them” and maybe a tshirt that doesn’t yet have the sleeves cut off.
Oh god this reminds me, cousin got married at a somewhat fancy venue at a Maple Sugar Bush (it’s gorgeous). His Sister’s boyfriend showed up in work boots, cargo shorts (beige), and a red flannel plaid button down. It was the oddest thing I have ever seen. I’ve known this guy for 14 years and he’s worn suits to every other wedding, even mine that was in a tent in my Uncle’s backyard.
And in my Hs family it would mean “jeans without oil/paint/farm dirt on them” and maybe a tshirt that doesn’t yet have the sleeves cut off.
Oh god this reminds me, cousin got married at a somewhat fancy venue at a Maple Sugar Bush (it’s gorgeous). His Sister’s boyfriend showed up in work boots, cargo shorts (beige), and a red flannel plaid button down. It was the oddest thing I have ever seen. I’ve known this guy for 14 years and he’s worn suits to every other wedding, even mine that was in a tent in my Uncle’s backyard.
It’s not JUST the barn. Maybe not SO much the fact that’s it’s Friday, but 4pm? Nah.
I'm more focused on this as the limiting factor for attire than the barn. You can Google the venue to see how fancy it looks inside, and maybe it really can warrant "formal", but on Friday at 4 pm you're not getting a ball gown out of me.
I think people are really putting too much emphasis on the word barn.
Yeah, I think if you called it an estate wedding, which is what most of these venues (at least around here) actually are, people wouldn't be getting so hung up on it.
My cousin had a wedding at a fancy barn venue and it was really nice!
Some of the comments are reminding me that my SIL/BIL changed into jeans for our reception and I was pissed. So cringe! Our wedding was at a church and the reception at a nice winery and no one else was wearing jeans. My step cousin tried to change into daisy duke shorts before the reception too and I told her nope can't wear that! She was interested in flirting with all of my brothers friends and I think she thought this would make her hot. They were in 8th grade! lol
Post by ellipses84 on Feb 11, 2022 12:19:21 GMT -5
I’ve been to a wedding like this and the “barn” was actually very nice with nice restrooms inside. I wore a black lace cocktail dress with a fuller skirt and would consider that formal enough even though it wasn’t a long dress.
I didn't realize that barn weddings provoked such strong feelings in people!
Since it is a relative, I feel like asking anyone else in your family what they are wearing will be more helpful than asking here LOL.
I've been to 3 or 4 barn weddings and none of them involved hay. The venues were varying levels of fanciness, but the nicest one definitely could have hosted a formal wedding.
I do think that generally Friday afternoon weddings are less likely to actually be all that formal.
I didn't realize that barn weddings provoked such strong feelings in people!
Since it is a relative, I feel like asking anyone else in your family what they are wearing will be more helpful than asking here LOL.
I've been to 3 or 4 barn weddings and none of them involved hay. The venues were varying levels of fanciness, but the nicest one definitely could have hosted a formal wedding.
I do think that generally Friday afternoon weddings are less likely to actually be all that formal.
I'd normally agree, though due to COVID this may not necessarily be true. I know a lot of people have Friday weddings because they had to postpone their wedding and every Saturday was booked.
The 300k barn place is booked every day during June-September this summer. Start clutching your pearls over a Wednesday black tie wedding