Wedding attire help: invite says "formal attire," venue=barn

[georgeharrison]

This is my nephew.  It is local to me.  It is the end of March and the weather will probably be decently warm.  It is in a barn venue designed for weddings.  I wasn't thinking formal, just like a flowy floral dress, but the invite says formal attire.  

I'm lost on what to look for. 

[georgeharrison]

ceremony a Friday at 4pm, if that matters

[liverandonions]

Maybe this helps?

www.brides.com/story/wedding-dress-code-explained

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

Without knowing more details, I wouldn't take that seriously. A gown at 4pm in a barn isn't standard.

Maybe the request is to ensure that people don't revert to super casual because of the location?

[aprilsails]

I think flowy floral dress is fine. This is likely one of those weddings where people will be wearing everything from jeans to sparkly gowns. They are probably trying to stop the jeans crowd.

Recently my office Xmas party attire was listed as formal for a nice but not super fancy restaurant venue. They lied. They mostly wanted people to put in some effort after two years of wearing athleisure at home.

[stemmie]

It's hard to say.

Can you check with his mom?

I was invited to the wedding of a friend's daughter. The invitation called for "formal attire"- Saturday 4:00PM Mass followed by cocktails, dinner and dancing in a barn-like venue at a "winery". Quotes because said winery doesn't actually grow grapes though they sell (undrinkable) "wine" they make from grapes they buy but they are mostly a nice event venue with barns, gardens and great food.

When I asked the MOB about the intended formality (I made her outfit- a silk dinner suit with a short skirt for church and long one for the reception- dressy but not super formal) she rolled her eyes and explained that her DD put that on there because she didn't want her friends to show up in sundresses, shorts and flipflops. DH wore a suit and I wore a flowy dress; one of the guests at our table did wear a tux and felt really overdressed.

[flygirl]

I would think a flowy dress would be fine.

When they put formal attire on invitations in H’s family it means just don’t show up on fucking jeans

[mambo123]

We had a wedding like this in September. I wore a dress like the one that says ‘festive’ on the above chart. Pulled my hair up into a more formal do and nice accessories. Took the festive dress up a level without looking overdone. My dress hit mid calf.

[momin2013]

I would absolutely do the flowy floral dress!

[TR]

They can say whatever they want, but 4pm on a Friday in a barn is not formal. Like pp said, they're probably trying to make sure Uncle Ricky doesn't show up in jeans.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2022 16:45:42 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

Without knowing more details, I wouldn't take that seriously. A gown at 4pm in a barn isn't standard.

Maybe the request is to ensure that people don't revert to super casual because of the location?

This.  

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2022 17:03:19 GMT -5 TR said:

They can say whatever they want, but 4pm on a Friday in a barn is not formal. Like pp said, they're probably trying to make sure Uncle Ricky doesn't show up in jeans.

I typed and deleted "if you want it to be formal, don't have it in a barn" but I felt that was a little rude - but it's how I feel.

[momin2013]

Feb 10, 2022 17:03:19 GMT -5 TR said:

They can say whatever they want, but 4pm on a Friday in a barn is not formal. Like pp said, they're probably trying to make sure Uncle Ricky doesn't show up in jeans.

…but we all know he still will 🤷‍♀️

[TR]

Feb 10, 2022 17:05:24 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

Feb 10, 2022 17:03:19 GMT -5 TR said:

They can say whatever they want, but 4pm on a Friday in a barn is not formal. Like pp said, they're probably trying to make sure Uncle Ricky doesn't show up in jeans.

…but we all know he still will 🤷‍♀️

lol yep. That's why you can't really bother yourself with shit like that haha. Due to the circumstances, my dad attended my wedding in light wash jeans, a flannel shirt and New Balances. I couldn't have cared less. As long as I looked good, and I did, that's all I cared about lol.

[georgeharrison]

Feb 10, 2022 17:07:27 GMT -5 TR said:

Feb 10, 2022 17:05:24 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

…but we all know he still will 🤷‍♀️

lol yep. That's why you can't really bother yourself with shit like that haha. Due to the circumstances, my dad attended my wedding in light wash jeans, a flannel shirt and New Balances. I couldn't have cared less. As long as I looked good, and I did, that's all I cared about lol.

Awesome!

[msmerymac]

People are ridiculous, lol.


No one here, people who declare they're having formal weddings in barns. My brother had his wedding in a barn that was also a wedding venue. He and the men in the wedding party wore dark jeans, button-down shirts, and sports coats.

[waverly]

Based on liverandonions post the dresses ranging from casual, festive, semi-formal all look the same to me except the spaghetti straps, so I think that range is fine. I actually notice more difference in the men's attire for those.

I don't think I could bring myself to wear a floor length formal gown, but I suppose if you had a maxi dress maybe...

I would probably just ask since its a close relative.  Especially if you think you will be included in more than 1 family picture.  

[gerberdaisy]

I feel like most wedding invites I receive say formal attire, but it doesn’t really mean anything. I still wear a short cocktail type dress and so do most people.

[Aloe Vera]

I've been to a few weddings in a barn. There's always people showing up in dirty every day clothes thinking it's going to be a dusty place with a few power tools dripping oil here and there hidden behind an old bed sheet and a buffet with disposable utensils. These people usually live in the middle of nowhere and don't know farm chic is all the rage now.
What you're planning is fine.

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

I'm banging my cane furiously over here.

[outnumbered]

I think formal would mean cocktail type attire. There are some barn weddings around here and they are very pricey and formal. Nobody would show up in jeans.

[Leeham Rimes]

I’d wear what I want and not worry. I mean, certainly not Uncle Ricky jeans but a flowy dress is just fine. Not like they’re going to have guest attire police, 😂

true formal wear in a barn is going to look so weird in pictures IMO. “I’m standing on HAY in a long gown….” (But carefully and strategically placed hay, hah)

[Leeham Rimes]

Feb 10, 2022 17:28:22 GMT -5 Aloe Vera said:

I've been to a few weddings in a barn. There's always people showing up in dirty every day clothes thinking it's going to be a dusty place with a few power tools dripping oil here and there hidden behind an old bed sheet and a buffet with disposable utensils. These people usually live in the middle of nowhere and don't know farm chic is all the rage now.
What you're planning is fine.

I thought barn wedding were popular years ago. Maybe it’s just here but they’re so over done. People were getting married in barns when I was a bride and that’s when pterodactyls roamed the earth.

[seeyalater52]

Feb 10, 2022 18:38:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’d wear what I want and not worry. I mean, certainly not Uncle Ricky jeans but a flowy dress is just fine. Not like they’re going to have guest attire police, 😂

true formal wear in a barn is going to look so weird in pictures IMO. “I’m standing on HAY in a long gown….” (But carefully and strategically placed hay, hah)

Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!

[Leeham Rimes]

Feb 10, 2022 18:41:15 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Feb 10, 2022 18:38:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’d wear what I want and not worry. I mean, certainly not Uncle Ricky jeans but a flowy dress is just fine. Not like they’re going to have guest attire police, 😂

true formal wear in a barn is going to look so weird in pictures IMO. “I’m standing on HAY in a long gown….” (But carefully and strategically placed hay, hah)

Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!

I guess my friends like the rustic feel!! The ones I’ve seen in pictures all have hay artfully incorporated.

[seeyalater52]

Feb 10, 2022 18:44:08 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

Feb 10, 2022 18:41:15 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!

I guess my friends like the rustic feel!! The ones I’ve seen in pictures all have hay artfully incorporated.

I’d probably die laughing honestly. You’re a better woman than I. 😂

[Leeham Rimes]

Feb 10, 2022 18:47:41 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Feb 10, 2022 18:44:08 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I guess my friends like the rustic feel!! The ones I’ve seen in pictures all have hay artfully incorporated.

I’d probably die laughing honestly. You’re a better woman than I. 😂

There was one, Wesley’s teacher who got married a few years ago even had a barn with animals, I mean not IN the wedding barn itself, they were behind a pretty fence, and the teacher had pictures with them in the background.

[mrsslocombe]

Feb 10, 2022 18:41:15 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Feb 10, 2022 18:38:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’d wear what I want and not worry. I mean, certainly not Uncle Ricky jeans but a flowy dress is just fine. Not like they’re going to have guest attire police, 😂

true formal wear in a barn is going to look so weird in pictures IMO. “I’m standing on HAY in a long gown….” (But carefully and strategically placed hay, hah)

Lol! To be fair, I think a “barn” event venue is veeeeery unlikely to have hay unless it’s a themed party of some sort. I’ve been to tons of weddings in these sorts of venues (very popular here) and they can be pretty darn formal depending on the venue. It’s not like an actual barn at all!

Same

I think this is regional. My friend works at a venue just outside NYC where the minimum cost to have a wedding there is $300k and they have a "barn" event space. Pretty much every wedding hosted there is black tie. 

I've also been to "barn" weddings on the Main Line of PA where it was not quite black tie, but still very formal. 

You're probably fine in the floral dress. Just do your hair fancier and wear sparkly shoes and jewelry to punch it up. 

[TR]

It’s not JUST the barn. Maybe not SO much the fact that’s it’s Friday, but 4pm? Nah.

[lilafowler]

Feb 10, 2022 17:30:24 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I'm banging my cane furiously over here.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?