Grad gifts

[shortstax]

I haven't been to a HS grad party in 15+ years, and I have 2 on the horizon over the next month.

What's the going rate for a grad gift in your area?  Do you have a "go to" gift or pair something small with cash?  Enlighten me, please.

[Patsy Baloney]

People give so much fucking money on this board.

My levels:
The grad year for kids I don’t know well/courtesy grad announcements we receive ($20.22 for this year)

Relatives’ kids (like cousins): $50

Someone super close, like a nephew: $100

[orval]

I have one tomorrow and I am doing $75 for a close family friend. For others, I usually do $50 for high school, $100 for college.
For more aquaintances like our neighbor, $25.

[thebreakfastclub]

I don't know what anyone does. My generic gift would be a $25 Target gift card for any and all occasions - graduation, new baby, housewarming.

We have 1 niece and 1 nephew, so we were more generous with them for graduation, but that's not an everyday thing.

[sunshineandpinot]

I am glad you asked bc I was coming here with the same question! I am getting sooo many announcements; it's nearly ridiculous.

Patsy Baloney I like that!

[liverandonions]

May 12, 2022 9:22:19 GMT -5 Patsy Baloney said:

People give so much fucking money on this board.

My levels:
The grad year for kids I don’t know well/courtesy grad announcements we receive ($20.22 for this year)

Relatives’ kids (like cousins): $50

Someone super close, like a nephew: $100

Similar here. $25 for friends we’re not close with, $50 for closer friends or distant family and $100 for close family

[ECB]

I haven't had to give many HS grad gifts (yet). The last one we gave, we gave cash. And a lot of it - it was our best couple friend's daughter and she's called DH and I her "2nd parents", so... we're VERY close to them. So we were generous.

For most other kids, I expect I'd probably give $50 at most and I'd just give cash. I feel like graduating from HS - they are moving to some new phase of life and having some cash to put towards whatever that may be would be helpful.

[shortstax]

Yeah, I know it's mostly regional. I'm in the midwest, so I was prepared for some #regional shock.

I'm not particularly close with either child, so I like your "tiered" system Patsy Baloney. I'd classify both of these to be in the middle, so maybe $50

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

I would never in a million years send a graduation announcement to someone who had never even met my kid.

#tangent #helpful

[quesyrah]

$25 for kids of friends and $50 for family members.

[ECB]

May 12, 2022 9:43:34 GMT -5 @sameoldstory said:

We do $50 for non-family, so like my friends kids or kids in the neighborhood. Nieces and nephews would be probably $100-150.

I've never received a Graduation Announcement, but in all honestly, if I did, I'd be inclined to not send a gift, it just seems kind of gift-grabby. And yes, parties are pretty much gift grabs as well, but at least I usually get fed and served alcohol  

My parents didn't do announcements specifically for this reason!   

[mel]

$50 for friends' kids.

We haven't had any relatives graduate yet, but I suspect we'd probably do $150 (nieces/nephews)

[Patsy Baloney]

Sending an announcement is a gift grab.

I can’t blame ‘em. They’re going to be facing a lifetime of death by student loans. Might as well enjoy a few bucks.

[bex1973]

Our standard for non family is a check for the year graduating - $20.22. We've done this for years and it has served us well.

For family or other grads we're especially close with anywhere from $50 to $100 - depends on how close we are to them.

[rubytue]

May 12, 2022 9:22:19 GMT -5 Patsy Baloney said:

People give so much fucking money on this board.

My levels:
The grad year for kids I don’t know well/courtesy grad announcements we receive ($20.22 for this year)

Relatives’ kids (like cousins): $50

Someone super close, like a nephew: $100

I want to like this, in concept. But I stumble on it because we are no close to family. (Big sigh). My nephew is graduating, and per informed delivery, the announcement is coming today. So I was struggling with this very question. I don’t think we’ve seen said nephew since 2007. I guess I’d file him in a category like cousin. 

And now I get sad. I’m an only child. H has two brothers with kids. For reasons, none of which are justified estrangement, we just don’t see them and H is just not close to his siblings. And then, I got all pissy at this SIL ~10 years ago when the Christmas list was “please send us cash so Santa can buy a video game system, not individual presents or cash for kids.”  So, you know, I was asked to stop sending stuff from us to the kids. And there are a bunch of other gift related shit shoes I could talk about with this family. So I’m extra prickly. 

On the other hand, I sent my college best friend’s sons something without blinking twice. 🤷‍♀️

edit… sorry for brain dumping all my feelings about this here. It was just timely bc I saw it this morning and went through all of that. 

[egishere]

I'm going to do $50 cash for a hs grad we know and got invited to his party. Then yesterday we got an announcement for an old coworker of DH's daughter- I doubt DH has ever met her but he was close to the coworker. I don't know if we will get her anything?

[mccallister84]

We do the $20.2x for the neighbors parties we get invited to (they are all just courtesy invites, we aren’t close with the neighbors with older kids). We do $100 for our nephews. We haven’t been in the situation of being invited to the party of s close friend but we would probably do $50 or $100 (probably depending on how many invites we have received that year).

[eb777888]

I feel cheap because I ignore the announcements I get from distant family/people I barely know. I just.... don't know you like that so I trash the announcement, lol. BUT, we did give $100 to my niece and nephew when they graduated but we're super close to them, like flew 2,000 miles to attend close to them, so that made sense.

[VillainV]

I am giving $100 to a niece this year (she’s the only graduate we know this year). We once gave $100 to the daughter of close friends/neighbor/ who had done a lot of babysitting for us. Otherwise I’d give much less ($20-50).

I think money and gift cards are probably the best gifts, unless you’re SUPER close and want to get them college merch like a hoodie.

[Roc A Bee]

$40 bc it’s easier to get from the ATM for only grads that we actually go to a party for. $100 for very close relatives

No one sends announcements here. And I wouldn’t send money for one unless I’m going to a graduation or graduation party.

[mofongo]

May 12, 2022 9:43:21 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I would never in a million years send a graduation announcement to someone who had never even met my kid.

#tangent #helpful

SUCH a gift grab, OMG.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'm struggling with this right now. We were invited to my cousin's son's high school grad party, but we are going to be on vacation so won't be able to attend. I want to send a card and check. I would like to be generous, but we are not close. I grew up with my cousin until we were in middle school and our families drifted apart/my parents got divorced, and since then I see her maybe once every 2-3 years even though we live in the same area now. I've only met her son a total of like 10 times max. She did come to my wedding and baby shower and son's communion (last big events I had).
She is a single mom and the dad was a deadbeat (who was abusive and in prison) and she still lives with her parents in the house she grew up in, which was my grandmother's house. And there have been some passive-aggressive comments from her/her family about me and my family because even though we came from the same place, I went to college, my dh is a doctor, and we live in a part of town that is 'well to-do' in a 'mansion' (in their words). So I don't want to come off as 'showing off' or anything, but they also know I can afford to be generous.
So what amount is generous without showing off?

[sadlebred]

My sibling (who is just a few years younger than me) will get a $100 Papa Johns gift card when they graduate in August with a bachelors*. It's what they want!

Friends kids/neighbors: I like the grad year idea!
Relatives: $25-50 depending on how close or not close we are.

*Sibling got an AA in their 20s but never felt the desire to go back to get a Bachelors til just over 2 years ago. I'm so proud of sibling!!

[friendz4eva]

May 12, 2022 9:43:21 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I would never in a million years send a graduation announcement to someone who had never even met my kid.

#tangent #helpful

Didn’t she say it was for 2 parties on the horizon?  Who said anything about an announcement

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

May 14, 2022 23:34:57 GMT -5 friendz4eva said:

May 12, 2022 9:43:21 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I would never in a million years send a graduation announcement to someone who had never even met my kid.

#tangent #helpful

Didn’t she say it was for 2 parties on the horizon?  Who said anything about an announcement

That's why I said my post was a tangent.

[bex1973]

May 14, 2022 23:34:57 GMT -5 friendz4eva said:

May 12, 2022 9:43:21 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I would never in a million years send a graduation announcement to someone who had never even met my kid.

#tangent #helpful

Didn’t she say it was for 2 parties on the horizon?  Who said anything about an announcement

It's not a leap to assume she knows about the parties because she got an announcement.

[friendz4eva]

May 15, 2022 3:32:19 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

May 14, 2022 23:34:57 GMT -5 friendz4eva said:

Didn’t she say it was for 2 parties on the horizon?  Who said anything about an announcement

That's why I said my post was a tangent.

Ah. Would have helped had I actually read your hashtags below.  

[letsgetweird]

$100 for my friend that graduated with her doctorate

[VillainV]

[mention]expectantsteelerfan [/mention] , I think $100 is generous without showing off. $200 or more might feel like showing off.

Honestly, I think it really depends on your area, your household finances, and your relationship with the graduate.

I have a niece who is graduating this year, but we’re not close. Her mom is the sister of my late first husband, and while I have an okay relationship with former SIL, I am no longer on speaking terms with my former MIL/FIL (the graduates grandparents). As a result, I haven’t seen my niece since my first husband died (when she was a baby). I have a fair amount of regret over not being as present in her life as I would like to be. I’m in a position to be pretty generous, but don’t want to seem like some creepy former aunt (who she has almost certainly heard her grandparents say horrible things about) trying to buy her love with a large sum of $$$. But I also want her to know that I wish I had been in her life more, and that if she’s open to it, I’d like to stay in touch and and be supportive.

So…I dunno, I’m going to send her $100. It seems generous without being too creepy I guess.

[bex1973]

skidunks