MOOKS - Bed Time

[Deleted]

My kids are going in to 9th and 10th grade. Last school year bedtime was 9:30 on school nights and 10:30 on the weekends/holidays. Now that it’s summer, I was going to up it by 30 minutes which would be 11 for the summer, but some nights I’m tired by 10-10:30. Do you let your kids stay up after you go to bed? For reason I’m struggling with this.

[devonpow]

Ds1 is 15 and has no set bed time - he often goes to bed after me (usually by 11). He has to put his phone downstairs by a certain time but that’s it. My biggest issue is he is terrible with turning off lights when he is the last one to bed and it drives me nuts

[gretchenindisguise]

L has always been a terrible sleeper and has gone to bed after us for at least the past year. They turn 13 next month.

[sweetchix]

DDs are 13 and 15 and do not have a bedtime over the summer. They’re typically in bed between 11-12 though, with the occasional night past that. One it’s get closer to school again, we start going back to a bedtime to wean off the late nights.

ETA: DD1 is really good about going up to bed by 9:30 on school nights, but getting DD2 to even start getting ready at that time is a lot of work. She’s usually ready and in bed by 10 on school nights though.

[treschic]

This seems pretty conservative, especially the summer bedtime. I don’t think I had any set time in high school during the summer and the biggest restriction during the school year was no phone/AOL after a certain time (maybe 9 or 10). What’s your hesitation on them being awake when you’re asleep? Can you (are you) really controlling that anyway? I can’t think of how that would have worked. How do you know they’re asleep? Honestly, as an adult I’m super thankful my mom (who otherwise was fairly strict) let me live a carefree summer life in high school, because at a certain point, you’ll never get that again!

[sofamonkey]

They need to be quiet when I’m ready for bed. Otherwise, it’s 8:30 to start winding down during the school year week, with a bedtime of 9:30. We shoot for 10:30-11:30 on weekends.

I’m just meh about it. My kiddos have always been slightly nocturnal, and as long as they aren’t cranky assholes during the day, it’s fine.

[pinkdutchtulips]

No set bedtime and I’m in bed before her.

[InBetweenDays]

We don't have a set bedtime for the kids (13 and almost 16) any time of the year. But generally on school nights they're in bed by 10:30pm.

Most often they come upstairs when we do, but once in awhile they're up later. Like now I'm in bed and they're watching a show together downstairs.

[somersault72]

My 14 year old doesn't really have a bedtime, though during the school year he goes to bed at a decent time. Summer I don't really care. He definitely stays up later than I do (which wouldn't take much, I usually go to bed about 9 during the week).

[ECB]

Ds is 13. Just last night i crawled into bed by 10 and i told him to go to bed by 11. It’s summer, he doesn’t need to wake up early - so lettting him stay up to play Xbox with his friends.

There will be nights, depending on our schedules, that he’ll need to go to bed earlier, but if there isn’t a reason - I’m being more flexible this summer.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Lucy (also going into 9th) always goes to bed after me. I take the boys up at 9:30 and she stays downstairs with H. When he goes to bed, she comes upstairs too, but I have no idea what she does in her room. I’m fine with it, since she seems to be able to get enough sleep. It’d be a problem if she gave me a hard time in the morning. She hasn’t in a while (thank god!)

[cjcouple]

yup! They dont have a summer bed time unless they have something going on. They are good kids (13 and 15). They usually are in bed by midnight or 1am. If they are tired, it's their own fault. They just better not give me attitude because privileges can be taken as quickly as theyre given. lol

[eddy]

DS is 14.5
School week upstairs by 10. No bedtime on weekend. He really needs his sleep and easily can sleep more hours then his 10 year old brother.

This summer he has XC camp at 8 three days a week. So in bed by 11 during the week. No bedtime on weekends. 

He just knows to be quieter on the weekend to not disrupt the house. 

And yes he always goes to bed after me.

[eddy]

Jun 22, 2022 22:03:23 GMT -5 devonpow said:

Ds1 is 15 and has no set bed time - he often goes to bed after me (usually by 11). He has to put his phone downstairs by a certain time but that’s it. My biggest issue is he is terrible with turning off lights when he is the last one to bed and it drives me nuts

Omg the turning off lights will be the death of me. I wake up to pee in the night and am attacked by every light still on lol.  

[arielroux]

When I was that age, my school year bed time was 10:00, but I didn’t have a set time in the summer. My dad always went to bed super early because he started seeing patients at like 6:30 am, and my mom usually had to work in morning, as well. I went to bed after my parents all summer long. It was practically still light out when my Dad went to bed!

The only rules were that I had to be quiet - tv volume reasonable, no loud talking on the phone, and try being quiet with minimal lights when I did eventually come up to go to bed. Some nights I was in bed by 11, others I was up until 2. It just depended on how tired I was and if there was anything on tv. I didn’t have a cell phone or iPad to keep me occupied back then in the old days.

[gummybear]

No bedtime for older D - she’s almost 15. We have the phone out rule but she polices her own bedtime.

[abs]

This is something I have really let go of over the past year. I go to bed around 8:30 (I read in bed most nights) and DD is just not ready at that time. As long as she isn't cranky the next day I don't really care when she goes to sleep. It's much better for her to go to bed on her own terms than be forced to when she isn't tired. At this point she is good about knowing how much sleep she needs.

During the school year she usually goes to bed around 9:30/10. On the weekends/summer she stays up until 10:30/11. She does turn in her phone by 9, 9:30 on the weekends.

[lolalolalola]

There would be mutiny if I made my 14 yo go to bed at 9:30!

I want her in bed by 10:30 on school nights but I’m
I’m bed so who knows. Weekends and summer, no bedtime.

[NewGirlNic]

DS is 13. He goes to bed around 11 on weekends and now that it's summer break, but doesn't have a set bedtime. H is a night owl, so he's typically up a bit later than that, but there are times (last night) that we go in before him. I make sure all the doors are locked before I go to bed and remind him to turn off the living room lights and put up the baby gate for the dog. Most of the time he's good about it, sometimes he'll leave the bathroom light on or something. 

[outnumbered]

My teens have jobs for the summer and have to be at work by 8. Their days are long. I encourage them to turn their lights out by 10:30 or they feel like crap at work.

[melmaria]

My teen is 16/just finished 10th. We’ve let her go to bed after us starting in 8th grade/high schoolish (somewhere in there, lol).

Her electronic devices all shut off at 10 pm on school nights (10:30 on weekends/summer), so we know she can’t be up later than that screwing around online. Her devices have to charge downstairs in the kitchen overnight. After her screen time curfew, she will hang/read in her bedroom for up to an hour or so before turning her lights out. I’d guess she falls asleep around 11-11:30 most nights. We encourage her to turn her lights out no later than 11, but, she’s a total night owl and always has been. (Whereas my H and I are usually asleep by 10-10:30).

We don’t police her actually falling asleep, or have a “lights out” time, etc - as long as she gets up on her own in the morning and isn’t late for school or her summer job. If she can’t be responsible and sleeps through/doesn’t get up with her alarm, then she loses screen time privileges and has to be treated like a little kid again. That’s worked pretty well for us.

[missva]

DS is 13 going into 9th and he has no set summer bedtime. His phone shuts off at 10 and he has to leave it plugged in downstairs. he usually goes to bed between 10:30 and 11 on his own. I'm usually in bed around 10. He usually sleeps until about 9 AM.

[formerlyak]

My oldest will be a junior. School nights bedtime is 10, but usually he goes to bed more like 9 or 9:30. His honors chem teacher this year really stressed the importance of sleep on test performance, and the kids (on their own) started tracking who got how much sleep before tests and how the sleep affected grades. DS and one other girl consistently had the highest grades on tests and the most hours of sleep. So then they all started going to bed earlier. I love that the teacher did that.

On weekends I say lights out at midnight, I don’t stay up until midnight. I trust that he goes to bed then.

[mrsjuleshs]

When DD was in high school, she had no set bedtime but she had to get up in the morning on time without complaining. She was usually asleep by 10:30 though.

[ECB]

Just found out that DS (13) stayed up until 11:30 last night. But while tired this morning, he got up and I heard him tell a friend that he can't play xbox because he has to go to his grandmothers to help in her garden - so... as long as he doesn't try to shirk his responsibilities, I feel like giving him freedom on his bedtime will help HIM learn how lack of sleep affects him!

He's actually pretty good about admitting when he's tired and will say "I want to go to bed". But - at the same time, if his friends are online, he'll want to be online too. So - we'll see how it goes and if we can find a good balance

[minniemouse]

My older dd just finished 7th grade. At some point over the last year I started going to bed before her. She is in her room by 9:30 now, reading or doing whatever, but electronics are off by 9:30. She always wakes up on time and doesn’t complain about being tired.

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

Come on. The time is obviously irrelevant. Wtf are you worried about them doing while you're asleep?

[erbear]

Mine are 11 and 13 and share a room.

They go to bed at 9:30 on school nights (we get up at 6:45). I like them to be asleep by 10-10:15 if possible.

Weekends and summer are a free for all. They go to bed at 11:30-12 and wake up at 10-10:30.

I often go to bed before they are asleep or even in bed but they come up when my husband does if I’m already in bed. It doesn’t matter to me - they don’t have phones and they aren’t going anywhere.

[stemmie]

No set bedtime in high school year round but my kid. My kid generally made good choices during the school year.

My sleep was really awful when he was in high school (perimenopause) and I often turned in before him if I'd been up half the night before.

[katiecj6]

We have 13 year olds.

They go to bed at 930pm on weekdays and weekends are much more lax. They share a room and often talk until much later.

My stepson wakes up at 515am to go to school, if we don't impose a bedtime, he will sleep through class.

I honestly don't care if they stay up and hang out quietly, but after 9 or 10pm, I crave tranquility, so as long as they don't interfere with that, it's fine. Otherwise, I tell them to go to sleep.