Let's talk Sleepovers

[waverly]

My kids want to do sleepovers.  It was my impression that their closest friends don't do them.  I asked last fall, 2021, and got no response, so I figured it was a no.  That could also have been because of Covid given the timing.

They have done sleepovers as a group birthday party.  And I know that they had done them for Cub Scouts/ Boy Scout camps outs and are now doing sleep away camp.  So I guess they do them now, but we haven't been invited.  They generally don't invite my kids to their house because we are neighbors so it became an outside only friendship especially again with Covid.  We get invited for parties and events sometimes, but not usually inside the house for one on one time.  

I was planning a sleep over birthday party for DS, so I think we may just start there since generally speaking it seemed that they preferred more of a group thing, or it could be they prefer not to host extra kids.

So here are my questions:
1. Do you do sleepovers?  If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families?  Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual?

2. Do you allow them during the week?  I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday.  I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends.

3. How often do you do sleepovers? When I was a kid it was every weekend.  So my parents had the rule, I had to spend one night at home so generally I did one night there one night at my house, but it was a lot, probably way too much.  My kids haven't done any, but Covid sort of hit right at the ages that they might have.

4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers?  Are they more of an 80's thing and parents don't do them as much?  Is it regional?  Do people do them when the kids are older now instead of younger?  Is it different rural, versus suburbs, versus city? 

[ilikedonuts]

We don’t do sleepovers, but I’m not necessarily a hard no. I’ll consider letting my kids stay at a house where I know the parents very very (add a lot more verys to that) well.

My oldest (10) went to her first sleepover birthday party back in April. It was with her 6 swim friends who we are basically with daily and spend more time with then any of our extended family.

Sleepovers in general just make me uncomfortable. Especially with cell phones, internet etc being so accessible now.

[waverly]

ilikedonuts , So if I am understanding you correctly, assuming you know everyone equally, the group birthday party was preferable to a sleepover one on one type situation?

That seemed to be our friends opinion too. Not sure if it was perceived to be safer or just more fun to the kids or both.  I'm wondering if that is most parents' opinions.  

Yeah on the internet front, I would probably have them put their phones up, but that doesn't mean that they don't go sneak them and I also would have to find a way to secure the TV.  Even if that way was me just going down there and telling them to turn off the TV a bunch of times. The TV is hooked up to the internet so they couldn't browse the internet, but could watch You Tube. 

[jeaniebueller]

My son has had friends sleep over.

My daughter has one friend whose home she has slept over but in general we don't do them

[kdubs923]

I have no idea, but have been wondering the same. I remember sleepovers in the late 80's/early 90's. We were YOUNG and having sleepovers pretty often. Mostly the same group of kids, sometimes in smaller groups/one-on-one or bigger groups for birthday parties. My Mom taught at my school, so she knew most of the families/they were comfortable with her.

Come middle school/high school, there were sleepovers most Friday nights. My parents were super religious, their rule was no Saturday night sleepovers because they didn't want me missing church in the morning.

My kids are 6 and 8, they've done a couple sleepovers at our neighbors house (good family friends), but that's it. It hasn't come up with school/activity friends yet. I don't feel that I know the school friends/families well enough to be comfortable with a sleepover just yet. I was recently wondering if people don't do them much any more or if my kids are just not getting invited. I do think Covid probably changed things as well, play dates for the last couple years (as my kids have been entering school) have been outside & not many birthday parties/get togethers.

ETA: I was an only child, so my parents were always quick to say yes to have another kid over to play/sleep. This way I wouldn't bug them lol

[Deleted]

1. Do you do sleepovers? If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families? Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual?

We do sleepovers. I don’t have criteria really. If they want to spend the night at a friend’s house they can and if they want a friend to sleepover at our house they can. There is one of my 10 year old DSs friends that I’d rather not sleepover because he’s a little too wild for me and I couldn’t handle that overnight. It’s very casual. The kids usually just ask that afternoon and we say yes or no depending on what’s going on.

2. Do you allow them during the week? I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday. I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends.

In the summer my older kids have done them during the week. DH and I both work from home and my older girls and their friends are quiet and respectful so they don’t keep us up so it doesn’t really matter what day it is.

3. How often do you do sleepovers? When I was a kid it was every weekend. So my parents had the rule, I had to spend one night at home so generally I did one night there one night at my house, but it was a lot, probably way too much. My kids haven't done any, but Covid sort of hit right at the ages that they might have.

It goes in jags where they are doing sleepovers like every week or not at all. I don’t want to host every weekend necessarily and I don’t think most other parents do either. But it might be there’s sleepovers happening for 3 or 4 weeks in a row and then nothing for a couple months, etc.


4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers? Are they more of an 80's thing and parents don't do them as much? Is it regional? Do people do them when the kids are older now instead of younger? Is it different rural, versus suburbs, versus city?

We live in the suburbs. I’ve yet to meet any families that don’t do them. My kids and their friends do them relatively frequently. We didn’t stop doing sleepovers during covid. My kids have been doing them since they were all 7 or 8. My kids are now 16, 13, and 10. The 16 year old doesn’t do them as much any more, although recently one of her friends stayed the night because she was having problems with her mom. The 13 year old does the most. The 10 year old is the only boy and he’s done fewer only because boys (or maybe just him and his friends) are louder/take up more space/require more from me and I’m not always up for it.

[niq]

1. V had one late this school year, but it was a bit of a one-off. we're starting this year for V, who's in 4th grade. It's part of our bribery structure -- every time he accumulates 10 meets or exceeds expectations on attention & assignment completion, he'll get a sleepover.

2. I would do weekend sleepovers during the summer, as long as it's not every single night.

3. Well, for starters the maximum would be every other weekend. I think as long as school is going okay I'd be fine with as often as once per week.

V has done a couple of sleepovers at other people's houses. Which is fine, we just weren't ready to host them until now.

[InBetweenDays]

Our kids are a bit older now (DS is 13 and DD is 16) so I'll have to think back to what we did when they were younger. But yes we do sleepovers. DS went to one Monday night and is going to another tonight.

1. Do you do sleepovers? If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families? Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual?
Yes, our kids do sleepovers. DD doesn't as much any more, but they have done them since they were probably 7 or 8? We don't have any set criteria for kids/families. But I'd say we know most of their friend's families fairly well. Some really well.

2. Do you allow them during the week? I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday. I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends.
In the summer we allow them during the week. The kids aren't in camps and don't need to be up early (well, DD has high school sports conditioning two mornings a week) and I work from home so I can drive to/from if needed. But most of their friends are in walking distance. I was out of town Monday/Tuesday so after his sleepover on Monday DS walked home and then he and some friends walked to the movies.

3. How often do you do sleepovers? When I was a kid it was every weekend. So my parents had the rule, I had to spend one night at home so generally I did one night there one night at my house, but it was a lot, probably way too much. My kids haven't done any, but Covid sort of hit right at the ages that they might have.
Again we don't have any set rules. I don't really want to host a sleepover more than two to three times a month. But if they go to other houses it can be way more frequent than that. It is more dependent on what we have going on that week. 

4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers? Are they more of an 80's thing and parents don't do them as much? Is it regional? Do people do them when the kids are older now instead of younger? Is it different rural, versus suburbs, versus city?
Personally I think sleepovers are fun and love that our kids do them. I will say our days of group sleepovers are over. One or two kids is fine, but when it's a group (both kids have had several sleepover birthday parties) we don't get any sleep.

[waverly]

InBetweenDays , Yes, I'm most likely going to regret the sleepover party. But I may keep the guest list as small as 3-4 but that's enough to ruin a night for sure.  And, I probably won't do another one.  It's more like here is your launch into sleepovers now you continue it as one on one or as nothing.  

[InBetweenDays]

waverly, Yes, I wasn't meaning to discourage you from doing a birthday sleepover. We happily put up with a few of them because the kids loved them. But now that they're a bit older we've put a stop to the group thing

[devonpow]

- we don’t currently do sleepovers but we used to (DS1 is 15 so now past the age. DS2 has socisl anxiety so that plus Covid basically eliminated sleepovers unless it’s cousins etc)

- in terms of who, we didn’t really care. We knew all of DS1’s friends pretty well. My rule was only 1 kid at a time at my house because I can’t deal lol. This rule was never an issue because group sleepovers were never a thing in his group except during the summer at people’s beach houses. We are not an owner of a beach house so problem solved on that! DS1 is likely going to be entering the “teen sleepover” stage soon where they crash at a friend’s house after going out etc. I will be very flexible in terms of who stays at my house, but not where he goes.

- I would only do weekdays in the summer if there was no camp. I’m a SAHM so my issue is more getting them up and going to a morning activity.

- We only did them once a month or so. It wasn’t a particularly big thing in our social circle and I was NOT complaining lol. I had them allllll the time as a kid, with epic dance routine creations and eating cookie dough . But I was a girl in the 80s, a glorious time for sleepovers.

- I don’t have anything to add lol. We are urban with boys. I have no idea if that makes any difference.

[expectantsteelerfan]

We take each opportunity on a case by case basis because we haven't found hard and fast rules that work for our family. But I would say my kids both also have exceptionalities that affect my decisions. DD is currently dealing with anxiety and OCD behaviors surrounding bedtime, and sometimes can be so rigid about her routine and worried about throwing it off that she will choose not to partake in activities that will throw it off. And sometimes she will want to, but I know some things will lead to her freaking out in a way I won't feel up to handling and I'll say no. But sometimes we do still say yes and it does work out ok.
DS has ADHD and does fine with the actual sleep overs he's attended, but he is the type to stay up all night when given the opportunity, and then we pay for it with his behavior the following few days as he recovers, so again, I am choosy about when I say yes. I also wouldn't trust him with a big group of kids his age who I don't know well/don't know their parents, nor would I want to host something like that at my house. But one or two close friends for a special occasion or once or twice a summer is fine.
My bff has offered to have both my kids sleep over at her house with her 3 (who my 2 get along with great, we vacation together etc.) esp. when I am super stressed and am dying for a break from my kids, but even though I know she could handle them, I almost never say yes because honestly, dealing with aftermath is just not worth it for me, but that is just how my kids are after a rough/disruptive night.

[wanderingback]

Jul 27, 2022 16:33:59 GMT -5 devonpow said:

- we don’t currently do sleepovers but we used to (DS1 is 15 so now past the age..

Whoa things have really changed! I didn’t realize teens these days were too cool for sleepovers lol. feel like I did the most sleepovers with friends between the ages of 14-17, great memories!

[rootbeerfloat]

Yes, we do sleepovers. DD (12) only invites her close friends. DS (15) has had more or less the same friend group since elementary, so we know them, too. When the kids were younger (pre-COVID), there was more effort made to coordinate with the parents, but that gets more casual as the kids age.

I wouldn't host one during the week, but they can attend during the summer.

Not that often, maybe a couple of times a year. I'm not a huge fan of hosting.

Just have lots of food available and prepare for a messy house and not a lot of sleep. It gets easier as they get older and entertain themselves.

[InBetweenDays]

Jul 27, 2022 16:39:44 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Jul 27, 2022 16:33:59 GMT -5 devonpow said:

- we don’t currently do sleepovers but we used to (DS1 is 15 so now past the age..

Whoa things have really changed! I didn’t realize teens these days were too cool for sleepovers lol. feel like I did the most sleepovers with friends between the ages of 14-17, great memories!

DD is 16 and still does them occasionally. Not as often as DS but I think that is more personality than age related.

[lolalolalola]

Jul 27, 2022 16:39:44 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Jul 27, 2022 16:33:59 GMT -5 devonpow said:

- we don’t currently do sleepovers but we used to (DS1 is 15 so now past the age..

Whoa things have really changed! I didn’t realize teens these days were too cool for sleepovers lol. feel like I did the most sleepovers with friends between the ages of 14-17, great memories!

My 16 yo DD has them quite often, my 14 yo DD hates them so it’s definitely personality based! 

[sillygoosegirl]

I'd be totally fine with sleepovers if not for COVID. Our family still isn't socializing indoors without masks, which pretty much makes sleepovers a no go. Maybe camping out outside, but there hasn't been much enthusiasm for that.

When we get together with other families, the kids bring up sleepovers all the time and other parents are always shoot it down right away. I don't know if it's because of COVID for them or other reasons.

[wanderingback]

Jul 27, 2022 17:30:06 GMT -5 lolalolalola said:

Jul 27, 2022 16:39:44 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Whoa things have really changed! I didn’t realize teens these days were too cool for sleepovers lol. feel like I did the most sleepovers with friends between the ages of 14-17, great memories!

My 16 yo DD has them quite often, my 14 yo DD hates them so it’s definitely personality based! 

Ahh yes makes sense. The person I quoted said their teen was "past the age" so I thought they meant more universally now teens don’t do sleepovers anymore. Glad some teens still enjoy them

[lynn07]

Our 11 and 12 years olds have done a couple of sleepovers. 12yo DS isn’t really into them. He would much rather go to someone’s house or have a friend over for a few hours and that’s it. He likes to sleep in his own bed and likes his space. 11DS likes them more, but he sleeps like crap when he does them and that creates a whole different set of problems. We don’t live near a lot of their school friends, so I’m not sure if other people are doing them more or not. They play with our neighborhood kids every evening, and I don’t see any of them having people stay over. We would be willing to let a neighbor kid spend the night, but I think all of them would rather just stay up late and then go home. I did them a ton as a teen/preteen, but between having all boys and the changing times, I’m not sure what is considered “normal” around here.

[waverly]

I think some teens outgrow them and some don’t. I was definitely over them by 18 probably earlier but I didn’t set good boundaries to just say hey I’ll stay until 11 and then go home.

I do feel that boys maybe do them less and they are less than the 80’s but that’s extremely generalized.

[Deleted]

Jul 27, 2022 16:39:44 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Jul 27, 2022 16:33:59 GMT -5 devonpow said:

- we don’t currently do sleepovers but we used to (DS1 is 15 so now past the age..

Whoa things have really changed! I didn’t realize teens these days were too cool for sleepovers lol. feel like I did the most sleepovers with friends between the ages of 14-17, great memories!

My 16 year old was doing constant sleepovers for the past year. But her friend group dynamic changed pretty radically in the past few months and it has meant virtually no sleepovers other than the one friend who stays occasionally when she and her mom are having problems.

[nicolewi]

So here are my questions:
1. Do you do sleepovers? If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families? Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual?
We do them, but we didn't really do any for like 2 years b/c of Covid. We don't necessarily have specific criteria. I mean, if there was anything "off" seeming or I really didn't know the family AT ALL, I would probably say they needed to try a playdate first. Typically kids have had playdates and we know the parents prior to a sleepover, unless maybe it's a group birthday party situation.

2. Do you allow them during the week? I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday. I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends.
I am a SAHM, so yes, we would do this.

3. How often do you do sleepovers?
We don't do them very often at all. Usually we're just too busy, but if it happens to work out, we'll let the kids have one. Sometimes when we finally have an open night during the school year, I just want to relax and not deal with a sleepover!

4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers? Are they more of an 80's thing and parents don't do them as much? Is it regional? Do people do them when the kids are older now instead of younger? Is it different rural, versus suburbs, versus city?
Most people here seem to do them. We are in far suburban/nearly rural area. I would consider rules for electronics. This is new to me. When my son had a sleepover bday party in June, that was the very first time we confronted issues with kids bringing phones/tablets.

[luckystar2]

1. Yes. My dd is 14. She had plenty when she was younger. I don’t really remember when they started but she had a core group of friends and had several with them. As friendship dynamics changed and Covid hit - they haven’t happened as much. Also her sport schedule keeps her pretty busy and is hard to line up with some of her friends. It’s generally been close friends for the most part except for parties which can have a mix obviously. She’s on her school’s varsity gymnastics team and last year the team would do sleepovers here and there. So maybe some girls she wasn’t as close with but are teammates.

2. During school breaks and summer we allow weekday sleepovers…in the past we would do that if we were off work. But since Covid we work from home so we have allowed it. They’re old enough to not keep me awake late and are able to keep themselves occupied and out of my hair the next day. If we had to work outside the house then sleepovers during the week don’t really make sense since we’d be leaving the house early the next day. My dd has had some friends sleepover at our house during the week specifically because we will be home, the friend’s parents wouldn’t so they couldn’t do it there.

3. I don’t have a rule on how often. For a while she would have them often but as I said with Covid, changing friend dynamic and practice schedules it’s hard to get them in. So whenever she wants. I don’t think I’ve ever said no to a sleepover unless there was a reason - Already have plans etc.

4. For my kid we have learned that she does best one on one rather than having multiple kids sleep over. Also as kids got older and phones came into play - it’s weird. My dd has not been very into phones. She doesn’t have social media. But some of her friends have since they were very young. My kid gets frustrated with having sleepovers with certain friends because the friend is on the phone most of the time and my kid wants to actually do stuff.

As for birthday party sleepovers - we’ve done several. Again my kid does better one on one so generally there was usually an issue 🤣 also if the other kids don’t do sleepovers a lot - there could be issues with being scared/wanting to go home. One of my DD’s bday, one of the girls didn’t do many sleepovers. She seemed like she was going to be ok. But after we went to bed, the girl called her dad on her gizmo to come pick her up at like midnight. Luckily my dd woke us up to let us know so I wasn’t woken up by the doorbell at midnight! I have had another close call with a kid wanting to go home in the middle of the night before too at a party but was able to talk her through it.

[erbear]

I let my kids do sleepovers with a couple of families we know well. We’ve had other kids at our house but they haven’t gone there.

We do weeknights in the summer. We aren’t doing anything anyway.

We don’t do them that often but largely bc we like to hang out with them he kids and they share a room and are lonely when one is gone. And they are often tired and cranky afterwards so not worth it to us.

Kids are 13 and 11. I dont take kids phones bc I want them to be able to contact their parents if they need to. I do ask them to put them away at a time and they are good about it (I am also most of their teachers 😂)

[fancynewbeesly]

We do sleepovers. We live a .5 mile from my niece who is one of DD1s best friends. During the summer she is at least over once a week. Sometimes 2 times. My BIL/SIL work weekends sometimes so it is usually when they are off midweek.

Her other best friend since kindergarten they have sleepovers usually once every six weeks or so. We try to have them more often in the summer so usually 4 sleepovers. They LOVE double sleepovers where they sleep at one person’s house and then the next night sleep at the other person.

Those tend to be the two kids that she has sleepovers with the most. When they were younger we encouraged sleepovers with kids on the same schedule. Like 9am bedtime and six am wake up. It just made it easier. Now that she is 11 it doesn’t matter as much.

They usually charge their phones in the kitchen but they know they can use it whenever they need to call.

[estrellita]

My kids are still on the younger side, but as of now, I'd only allow sleepovers with certain friends or family. E has stayed over at my friend's house with her kids once all night, and a few times for part of the night when we've done game nights and stayed late. Our house is such a mess, I can't imagine having any more kids in here, lol. We don't really know anyone well enough around here unfortunately. Maybe as they get older we will. Both of them do ask for sleepovers a lot so we'll see!

ETA: My hesitation for letting them do sleepovers has more to do with E than it does anything else. I'm paranoid and anxious of course, but with E's behavior issues, I'd feel terrible if he acted up at someone else's house. Maybe he'd be fine, or maybe he'd sneak out or get into who knows what. So I really need to trust the parents!

[pittpurple]

We started allowing my daughter to have sleepovers at 8 I think? So far it's just been back and forth with her bestie but she went to a sleepover birthday party a couple months ago and wants to host one soon so it might expand a bit. She's been at the same school since she was 4 and had the same group of friends so I wouldn't have any concerns with sleepovers with most of them - just a bit of an asterick around any of the friends I haven't actually been to the house. My daughter has asthma so if there's a smoker or lots of pets I need to be cautious (and wouldn't love them being around a smoker anyway but I do try to meet families where they are!)

My son is 6 and has only just started asking - I told him 8 as that seems fair. He's generally way more easy going though so I actually think he'd be fine. But I also have a lot of anxiety and really prefer my kids to be with me so I think that affects things too (though I try hard not to let it!)

[osulori]

1. Do you do sleepovers? If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families? Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual? Kid #1 just had his first "friend" sleepover a couple weeks ago. This is a kid we've known for 5ish years and while we know the mom a lot better than the dad (they're divorced) we know him well enough to know #1 would be safe over there. #1 tried to talk us into a sleepover with one of his baseball teammates this summer and we shut that down for both going to teammate's house and us hosting, because we don't know teammate's parents well at all and weren't feeling hosting a sleepover ourselves.

2. Do you allow them during the week? Nope.

3. How often do you do sleepovers? We've only had the one "friend" sleepover so far. #1 is going into 4th grade so I'm sure more are coming.

4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers? AJ has trouble staying asleep in new/different places when he knows we're not there (like he did fine when we were on vacation but has trouble when he spends the night at my parents) so I'm hesitant to have him spend the night with friends whose parents don't know him well. That was another big part of not letting him sleep over at his baseball teammate's house but okaying him spending the night at his other friend's house, because friend's dad knows him and his quirks well.

[ECB]

1. Do you do sleepovers? If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families? Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual?


Yes, we do.  But they aren't super often.  DS would have one every weekend if he could!  When he was younger, they were more for parties.  Now at 13, they seem to be more spontaneous things - like he spent the night last weekend at a friends house after going to the pool.  He asked me about 10 mins before the pool closed.  There's no real criteria.  I will admit, though, that there is one kid in our neighborhood that we all prefer he doesn't spend the night.  From a very young age, he was an "instigator" and if a kid would wake up super early and want to wake up all the other kids - it would be him.  


2. Do you allow them during the week? I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday. I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends.


During the summer, yes.  But either DH isn't working (he has an odd schedule) or as I work from home, I'm not bothered by an occasional mid-week sleepover.  But if we both had jobs that involved getting out of the house in the morning, we woudln't allow them during the week. 


3. How often do you do sleepovers? When I was a kid it was every weekend. So my parents had the rule, I had to spend one night at home so generally I did one night there one night at my house, but it was a lot, probably way too much. My kids haven't done any, but Covid sort of hit right at the ages that they might have.


Not that often.  As I said above, DS would have them every week - but it seems that kids around here aren't really into them so they don't happen a ton.  

[hermione]

Jul 27, 2022 15:05:33 GMT -5 waverly said:

My kids want to do sleepovers.  It was my impression that their closest friends don't do them.  I asked last fall, 2021, and got no response, so I figured it was a no.  That could also have been because of Covid given the timing.

They have done sleepovers as a group birthday party.  And I know that they had done them for Cub Scouts/ Boy Scout camps outs and are now doing sleep away camp.  So I guess they do them now, but we haven't been invited.  They generally don't invite my kids to their house because we are neighbors so it became an outside only friendship especially again with Covid.  We get invited for parties and events sometimes, but not usually inside the house for one on one time.  

I was planning a sleep over birthday party for DS, so I think we may just start there since generally speaking it seemed that they preferred more of a group thing, or it could be they prefer not to host extra kids.

So here are my questions:
1. Do you do sleepovers?  If so, what is your criteria for which kids/ families?  Assuming people you know, but as they get older does it become more casual? With specific people. Cousins? Yes. My BFF's kids? Yes. Sleepover with the grandparents? Of course. Other people? Nah.

2. Do you allow them during the week?  I was surprised the kid was going to one on a Thursday.  I understand it is summer and occasionally during the week, but generally my family was only on weekends. During the summer, yes.

3. How often do you do sleepovers? When I was a kid it was every weekend.  So my parents had the rule, I had to spend one night at home so generally I did one night there one night at my house, but it was a lot, probably way too much.  My kids haven't done any, but Covid sort of hit right at the ages that they might have. Not very often (except grandparents).  More in the summer.


4. What else do you want to say about sleepovers?  Are they more of an 80's thing and parents don't do them as much?  Is it regional?  Do people do them when the kids are older now instead of younger?  Is it different rural, versus suburbs, versus city? I would have to count the adults in the house among my inner circle to let my kid spend the night. Is it irrational? Maybe. Do I care? No.

I am happy to host them but my kid so far is not a huge fan. My BFF's kids spent the night a few weeks ago and at midnight C came into my room to inform me they were breathing too loud and she wanted to sleep in our bed.