Tween clothes

[calamity]

So my DD is 11 and going into 6th grade.  She's really tall (5'7") and has long legs.  She's started puberty so she looks older than she is.

She wants to wear what the other girls wear, ie short cut offs and cropped tees/tank tops. She insists that all kids her age dress this way.

I tried to find some longer shorts or things more appropriate for school, but it's been a battle.  Or even leggings with bigger tees over them. I knew this was a teen thing, but I thought I had longer before this started.

Suggestions/commiseration?

[cleo29]

C really likes HOllister and she mainly gets their oversized t-shirts and some slightly cropped shirts, but not really showing her stomach. Also, they have jean shorts that are a bit longer without being too long. AE is also good.

C, for the most part, does not always dress in ways that show off her figure, but when she does it is in a way that I feel is ok for her age (12). Kohls also has a bunch of cute tops and shorts of varying lengths.

[gretchenindisguise]

L is older (13), but we've been doing a combination of Hollister, AE and Ross's since 6th grade. Yes, they all have cropped stuff, but they have longer things as well. I like that their jeans come in short, regular and long because my short kid needs them.

[devonpow]

I have boys so not much help, but here the girls seem to balance the short stuff - like super short shorts and a sports bra but with a baggy flannel (unbuttoned) over it. Or baggy jeans(mom jeans!) with a crop top etc. Maybe encouraging that balancing effect? But feel free to ignore since I’m really clueless

[abs]

DD likes Hollister for jeans and graphic tees and Aerie for leggings. She has had some luck at Abercrombie and Fitch and Kohl’s as well. Our big challenge is shorts! They have to be at least mid thigh which is impossible unless you want Bermuda length (she does not).

Crop tops aren’t allowed here either because Texas.

[calamity]

We went to AE and Hollister, but she didn't "like" any of the longer shorts. And even the ones I made try on looked short on her and she still hated them.

She really has to wear shorts or skirts for now bc it's so hot. We went to Target and Marshalls and she found one pair of shorts and a jean skirt that was a compromise, it's just above her knees.

The long legs make it tricky. Once she can wear jeans it will be easier I think.

[sparty04]

I'm 5'8 so I get the shorts struggle. I've been wearing 4inch shorts for years and I think those sometimes look too short because long legs. I'm far from middle school girl stylish, but I ditto the AE, Kohls and maybe even Gap/Athleta recs.

[zaneyzoo]

I found out that Maurice's has a girls line and my DD (10/5th grade) has found a lot of options there. I believe it's online only but the quality seems worth the price.

[waverly]

My child is a 12 year old boy, so I'm no help there.


I got some crop tops from Old Navy for DD (9) and she usually wears them with a tank top under, so it doesn't actually show her belly. Old Navy runs small, I think.  My problem is that all her clothes that fit her in June are all tight now, but it doesn't make sense to buy new shorts now (for us) since it will be cold in 5 weeks.

[mandymay]

My daughter is the same height and age as yours. We went school shopping this summer and it was exhausting! I’ve found leggings for her at J Crew Factory (and J Crew) online, shirts and skirts from Old Navy, jeans from American eagle, H&M, and “trendy” options from Aèropostale. Oh! If you can find them Jordache makes sized 18 girls Bermuda shorts and skinny jeans/leggings that fit length wise and have an adjustable waist.

When my daughter goes to school she wears bike shorts under her shorter skirts since her legs are so long and skirts can be really short on her. She also will wear a tank top or sort sleeved shirt under things like sweater vests or dresses that are just slightly too big around her chest, but fit her height (thank you 90s fashion for making that look trendy).

[af1212]

I have no advice - only commiseration. My daughter also only wants to wear crop tops (12 and going into 7th). I live on the walking route from the Ms and can confirm that lots of other girls do wear them to school.

[laurack]

I think a good compromise is if you’re wearing short shorts you cover your tummy? Or if you wear jeans you can wear a crop top.. I find most tweens and teens seem to wear the kind of crops that meet the waist of a shorts anyway so it doesn’t look as exposed. I’m glad high waists are in. Overall things seem modest than when I was a teen.

It’s tough because I want to support kids wearing what they want but I’m also conscious of my daughter dressing too “sexually” at a young age and being unable to actually deal with possible consequences of that (none of which would be remotely her fault obviously)

I myself had developed breasts at age 12 and dressed in skimpy clothing. I have memories of men saying inappropriate things to me and following me. Luckily nothing happened to me but when I think of my own growing daughter (who is only 10 now) I feel nervous thinking of my own childhood.

[af1212]

Aug 25, 2022 11:19:53 GMT -5 laurack said:

I think a good compromise is if you’re wearing short shorts you cover your tummy? Or if you wear jeans you can wear a crop top.. I find most tweens and teens seem to wear the kind of crops that meet the waist of a shorts anyway so it doesn’t look as exposed. I’m glad high waists are in. Overall things seem modest than when I was a teen.

It’s tough because I want to support kids wearing what they want but I’m also conscious of my daughter dressing too “sexually” at a young age and being unable to actually deal with possible consequences of that (none of which would be remotely her fault obviously)

I myself had developed breasts at age 12 and dressed in skimpy clothing. I have memories of men saying inappropriate things to me and following me. Luckily nothing happened to me but when I think of my own growing daughter (who is only 10 now) I feel nervous thinking of my own childhood.

This outlines my thoughts exactly. Thank you for putting it into words for me.

I want to be so supportive and all - love your body! Wear anything you want!

But at the same time I am concerned for the consequences which are wrong and inappropriate but I’m not sure I want my kid to be the one to be forced to deal with them in protest.

[calamity]

We talked about 'balancing' outfits too, if she has a crop top she wears something high waisted.

laurack, that is the exact conversation we've been having.

Some creepy old guy was checking her out in the mall and staring at her and she didn't like that.

It's such a balance of loving and owning her body but realizing that covering up can be a good thing too. To add to all this we moved and she doesn't know anyone in school. I want her to make friends and fit in too.

[laurack]

It’s also so varied at the tween age. My daughter has not developed and would look like a 10 year old child in a crop top but some kids in her class are taller than me and look like teenagers, some have developed breasts already and have to wear a bra etc.

So it’s tough if all the kids are wearing certain clothing and you happen to be a child who is more developed but don’t quite understand it and just want to wear what your friends are wearing.

This is a hard age!

[186momx]

I'm in the same boat with my 11 year old. Shopping is so hard and DD hates to shop which makes things worse.

[eponinepontmercy]

My daughter will be 11 next month and is tall for her age, too. She also has my long torso, so crop tops are very hit or miss. We've done well with Old Navy and American Eagle, and she just has to try everything on.

It's taken me 42 years to appreciate that the clothes are the problem and not my body, so I've tried to instill that in her.

[cereal K]

DD just turned 12, but has almost zero interest in clothes. She just wants shorts or jeans with a t-shirt. I'm saving some of these recommendations to try and "inspire" her.

She's very firmly "I just want to be comfortable and have my style; I don't care what anyone thinks." Which is great, but also, I'd like her to just put some minimal effort/pride into what she's wearing. Can it match, please?

[abs]

Aug 25, 2022 14:44:06 GMT -5 cereal K said:

DD just turned 12, but has almost zero interest in clothes. She just wants shorts or jeans with a t-shirt. I'm saving some of these recommendations to try and "inspire" her.

She's very firmly "I just want to be comfortable and have my style; I don't care what anyone thinks." Which is great, but also, I'd like her to just put some minimal effort/pride into what she's wearing. Can it match, please?

Oh this is my child, too.  In her perfect world she would wear a tee shirt with athletic shorts every day to every place.  She cannot so we are working on it.  She is learning to wear a slimmer shirt with baggier jeans, more oversized shirts with leggings, etc.  She knows exactly what is popular she just doesn't care.  In a way I love it because she truly is very confident in who she is.  She still needs to learn to put together though.

[clairebear]

I was my full height of 5'11" by 13 so I totally get the struggle. It was almost impossible to find shorts that was allowed by my ultra conservative father. I felt a lot of shame about my body and was pressured to dress as not to encourage lust in guys. Looking back it was ridiculous and I don't want to put my two girls through that. My oldest is 6 and already 99 percentile for height. My requirement will be they adhere to the school dress code and cover their butt cheeks and nipples. I fully realize this may change in 5 years! But I don't want to punish my daughters just because they are tall.

[MDmomof2]

My DD is tall with long legs and I've worked hard to never be bothered about how short her shorts look on her. It's not always easy - thanks to the era in which I was raised, teen magazines, society's norms/opinions/biases - but I work at making it MY issue and not hers. Our school dress code is very simple and not gender specific, you need to cover your chest down to your butt, so crop tops are not permitted. You could wear a tube top and hot pants, so long as you aren't showing your midsection! My DD has a few she wears in the summer and some aren't truly cropped to where you can see your midriff, they end at the waist. Anything truly cropped she doesn't wear to school.

[rootbeerfloat]

DD is 12, 7th grade. She's gone through phases: baggy tee + leggings, then cropped top + jeans. The crop top phase over the summer coincided with her discovery of makeup, and she looked so grown! Her clothes are from AE and Target.

Her school has a required shirt, so she doesn't wear the cropped tops to school. It's school shirt, high-waisted jeans or black leggings, chunky cardigan (even in 90 degree weather), and platform Converse.

[waverly]

I think there is a difference between looking at a tall child with long legs and seeing she has regular shorts on but just has long legs, and something like booty shorts. I totally understand that I am looking at a all child with long legs rather than thinking wow that's inappropriate. Most are not going to be arms length because they also usually have long arms.

I think there should be something between booty, and a 2-3 inch inseam, 4-5 inch inseam and Bermuda shorts which are around 7 inch inseams. I'm short, but I gravitate more for the 4-5 inch inseams and get them from Target and Loft. Maybe if you do a search by inseam (which I realize that a lot of websites probably don't sort by), you might be able to get the range that you want. When I was a teen, I probably did more the 2-3 inch inseams which are definitely not what I want to wear now.