First wedding anniversary after one parent dies

[CrazyLucky]

My mom died this past June.  She and my dad were married 57 years and their anniversary was in September.  My dad is very much the baby boomer old school show no emotion type, so I'm not sure how he feels about it, although he did finally admit he has bad days.  Did you do anything for your surviving parent on important days like this?  Or do you have any suggestions?  I don't want to make a huge deal of it, but also don't want to let it go unacknowledged.

[tommygirl03]

I sent a card and flowers to my grandmother for the first year.

[whattheheck]

My mom passed in 2008. We still go out to dinner for her birthday and my parents anniversary. I’m sure this differs for everyone but we find it a great way to celebrate her life. There’s so many days where it’s just so sad that she’s gone and all she’s missing. I won’t lie - it was hard at first. But as time goes on it gets easier and we really enjoy it. My mom was fucking hilarious and we laugh so hard at these get togethers. I feel like if we hadn’t pushed through the years it was hard we wouldn’t still be doing it.

[ECB]

My dad died almost 2 years ago. I remember his birthday and the day he passed with my stepmother. I didn't even think to do/say anything on their anniversary. IDK - I've never been a big "celebrating other people's wedding anniversary" person, though. I don't expect anyone to do/say anything around mine either!

[fluffycookie]

My mom passed in 2002 and the first year of their anniversary my dad and I went to the cemetery and then out to dinner.

[ckay]

We went to my FIL’s the first wedding anniversary after MIL died and had pizza and cake with him and BIL and their kids. Low key acknowledgment of the event seemed best for my FIL.

[rootbeerfloat]

My dad passed 3 weeks before their 50th anniversary, so it was soon enough that it was no worse than any other day that month for my mom. I can't remember what we did last year, but the anniversary is coming up again this weekend, and I will make a point to visit her.

The first birthday after he passed, we planted a tree. This year (the second one), we held a delayed funeral (postponed due to COVID).

[goldengirlz]

I called my mom but that was about it.

I did send flowers that first Valentine’s Day.

[starburst604]

Were they the type to make a big deal of their anniversary? If so maybe you can offer to take him to dinner (if you’re local to him). If not, sending a card might be nice. It lets him know you’re thinking of him and the occasion and he can process all of that privately since he’s not big on displays of emotion. He sounds just like my own dad.

[lostrn]

My parents never made a big deal about their anniversary when I was kid, so honestly I frequently forget the exact date! Yikes this was my dad's first anniversary without my mom, he sent out an email to everyone saying something sad and sweet, I replied to that email, but that was about it. I feel like I should have done more, but at the same time they kept their anniversary celebrations to themselves, so maybe it was ok? Idk. My mom's birthday is two days before my dad's and I know I have to acknowledge it in some way but I'm completely stumped.

[stemmie]

Today is my parents' anniversary. She's been widowed since 2018.

I always spend the day with her. This year I took her to the cemetery earlier this week because we were driving by. I offered to take her to the pool, but she wanted to go shopping instead. She's nursing a chipped bone in her foot and wanted to pick out her own food (I've been doing her shopping). After my family took her out to an upscale pizza restaurant and split a bottle of wine before dropping her off at home. The first year, she was in the eye hospital ER with a damaged optic nerve. The second she was recovering from pneumonia, the third she was in the hospital having a TAVR procedure and last year was pretty quiet. Pizza was an improvement.

[lostlenore]

My parent's anniversary was the day before mine, so we always wished each other happy anniversary. Since my mom passed, I hadn’t made it a point to say anything to my dad, until this year, which would have been 50 years for them. Saying “happy anniversary” to him didn’t feel right, so I just sent him a text saying something like, “Can you believe it’s been 50 years since you married Mom? I’m so glad you did!” My dad and I haven’t been super close lately, so I thought it was a good way to acknowledge it without getting too emotional.

[jennistarr1]

We go out to dinner