MOOKs (like HS parents) - college applications and prep

[formerlyak]

All the MOOK threads made me remember that there are a fair number of us with Juniors and Seniors in high school on this board, and we are likely starting to think about or are in the midst of college searches. I figured maybe we can start a thread where people can ask questions or vent and get some feedback/commiseration.

DS is a good student (junior), has good extracurriculars, etc. He is prepping for the October SAT. He has been getting a steady stream of recruitment marketing, and most of the schools that he's received emails from are schools I think he's a good applicant for. One he's actually very interested in and was on his list as a safety school even before they reached out. But, this week, he's received invites to attend recruitment events from UPenn, Stanford and Northeastern. I just want to scream, "Stop teasing my kid! No one gets in there! And I can't afford you anyway, Stanford!" Luckily I worked in higher ed for 20 years before transitioning to a small nonprofit earlier this year, so DS is well aware. But Stanford has been his dream school since he was like 8, so getting an email from them reignited that glimmer of hope. I know I have to let him apply knowing he will likely not get in, but I also want to protect him from the rejection. This is going to be a long process!

Anyone else need to vent about parenting a college-bound kid?

[madringal]

Can I make this an college athletic vent? My daughter is a HS freshman and YESTERDAY had her first HS swim PRESEASON practice. Actual season doesn't start for 6 weeks. Yeah, apparently we are already late to the game if we want her to swim in college? Umm...what? 1) she's 14, she has no idea if she wants to swim all through HS, let alone college 2) Why do other parents want to stress other parents out by making them seem like "What? You didn't know?"

I know we are not actually late the the game. Obviously if she is some stand out talent, the fact that we didn't fill out some questionnaires in the summer of 2022 isn't going to kill her chances of being recruited. But I am annoyed.

DD has started to look at schools and programs she likes. Mostly bc her cousins have started heading off to college and it is interesting to see where they pick and why. Do we still have some time, but it is exciting and scary to think about. One of my nephews (a junior) is doing a college tour later this fall and it's a school she is interested in. We may tag along just to check out to the campus.

[marvine]

My DS is a senior this year and I made the mistake of joining a "how to pay for college" FB group. Every one that posts is all "my kid has a 4.9 GPA and a 1600 SAT and whoa is me, they only have 4 extra curriculars, so are we doomed to community college". It has made me super anxious...but the actual posts about PAYING are helpful, so I'm trying to be careful about what I read. Because those posts were making me so anxious. My DS looked at Pitt and was like "welp, I really like this a lot. I'm good". I told him he should apply to a few schools just in case he doesn't get in to Pitt. And getting him to look at any of the mail he gets (and it's like 2-3 postcards from colleges daily!), is like pulling teeth. I feel like it wasn't this stressful when I went to college. Probably because there weren't parent FB groups to make everyone anxious!

[formerlyak]

madringal , you aren't late in the game. My ds is a junior and a good golfer and he filled out some stuff Spring of freshman year when he learned he made Varsity as a freshman. If you are really interested in college athletics, every college I know of has an athlete interest form on their athletics website that a prospective student can fill out with a bit about them so a coach can contact them if the kid is what they are looking for.

marvine , we very well may be in the same facebook group. My favorites are the people who claim their kid has a 7.0. WTF is a 7.0? I guess some schools give 1 extra point for honors, 2 for AP and 3 for dual enrollment courses, but colleges don't do that when evaluating applicants so your kid's 7.0 means jack. It's just a parental bragging point. For college applications, you get 1 extra point for honors, AP or dual enrollment. And, some schools like the University of California schools, cap the number of extra points you can receive when calculating your 10th and 11th grade A-G GPA. And what's with everyone claiming their kid "founded a non-profit". Is that the go-to extra curricular these days?

[cjcouple]

Thanks for this.

My son is a Junior and is doing ok academically but honestly, I worry he won't get in anywhere. I also am annoyed at his counselor because he isn't even encouraging him to go to a 4 year school. Last year, he was pushing community college because it's free. Which is great as a back up but I really think he will benefit from going away to college and living on campus. Partly, because I didn't get to do that. And partly because of his journey through his selective mutism and how hard he fought to overcome that. I just hope he can find a decent college that he enjoys. I have no issue with community college if that is his path/choice but I went to one and I hated it and I don't think DS will stick it out. He is super social and the 2 CCs I went to were boring!!!

He didn't do well on his SATs but he had a 3.2 after freshman year and a last year had the same GPA on his final report card but I think its actually a 3.03 from looking on his grade portal. I have heard there is a Sophomore slump so I am hopeful he can get it back up a bit. Which isn't terrible and from my understanding there are some decent schools that will accept him if he can boost it up some. I did say "you need to study this year" because the kid coasts. He coasted with Bs and a couple Cs last year. Hardly ever studied. "I'm fine".

I also worry that he wont do well in college because he is not the most academically driven. Although I have seen huge growth this past year and he says he wants to go and does have an interest in getting As after seeing good friends last year with some honor cords. I'm hoping touring schools will motivate him to do well too.

As a side note, Grown and Flown is a nice page to follow on Facebook. Lots of helpful advice from those that have been there.

[formerlyak]

cjcouple, Back in the 90s, my brother was looking at colleges and his counselor told him not to apply to the school he wanted to go to. He literally only want to go to that school, and his back up plan was to go to the CC in that town and do an articulation agreement to transfer. The counselor told him he would never get in and it was a waste of time and it would drag down their admit rate with that school (large flagship school). He wanted to major in computer science. While his Spanish, English, History grades weren't great, his math and computer science grades were As, he worked as an intern at a local software company his junior and senior years and was a computer science tutor for AP CS. My mom told him she was paying the application fee and he could apply wherever he wanted. He applied to the school, was accepted and graduated with an engineering degree in 4 years.

There are plenty of schools out there, and if your son has over a 3.0, he will find a variety of schools that will want him to go there. I haven't dug in to Naviance yet, but if your school uses that or something similar, you can plug that in and see what they recommend in terms of target schools.

[tarzanswife]

Not all schools are requiring SAT's anymore for first year applicants and that has been a game changer for many students. My middle son was able to get into college with a middle of the road GPA and meeting the "college prep" required classes which most students complete by the time they graduate high school. He got into the school and program he wanted and is extremely happy and is enjoying his freshman year.

Meanwhile my oldest who was my AP and IB scholar with an amazing SAT score, was rejected from the first set of schools he applied to in 2020 (year he graduated). He did a ton of research and figured out that if he went to a certain local community college, he was guaranteed a transfer to the college of his choice. Yes he had to do community college for two years and he didn't get the "college experience" we all wanted for him, but it was during 2020-2022. All schools were still online and frankly he saved us loads of money by going the community college route and distance learning from home with the community college vs. distance learning from home paying for an expensive school. He is now starting at his school of choice on Monday and we are elated for him. His diploma will be from the school and program he wanted and it won't matter that he went the community college route to get there.

[cjcouple]

formerlyak, Thank you for that!! I've been doing a lot of research on my own because I'm not expecting much support from my sons high school. I don't think they are the most encouraging of college tbh. I think they are focused on graduating kids. We are in a poor area and many don't continue their education. This post/check-ins will be helpful for sure!!

I sadly didn't finish college so I will be asking lots of questions I am sure. lol

[tarzanswife]

Sept 7, 2022 13:39:26 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Thanks for this.

My son is a Junior and is doing ok academically but honestly, I worry he won't get in anywhere. I also am annoyed at his counselor because he isn't even encouraging him to go to a 4 year school. Last year, he was pushing community college because it's free. Which is great as a back up but I really think he will benefit from going away to college and living on campus. Partly, because I didn't get to do that. And partly because of his journey through his selective mutism and how hard he fought to overcome that. I just hope he can find a decent college that he enjoys. I have no issue with community college if that is his path/choice but I went to one and I hated it and I don't think DS will stick it out. He is super social and the 2 CCs I went to were boring!!!

He didn't do well on his SATs but he had a 3.2 after freshman year and a last year had the same GPA on his final report card but I think its actually a 3.03 from looking on his grade portal. I have heard there is a Sophomore slump so I am hopeful he can get it back up a bit. Which isn't terrible and from my understanding there are some decent schools that will accept him if he can boost it up some. I did say "you need to study this year" because the kid coasts. He coasted with Bs and a couple Cs last year. Hardly ever studied. "I'm fine".

I also worry that he wont do well in college because he is not the most academically driven. Although I have seen huge growth this past year and he says he wants to go and does have an interest in getting As after seeing good friends last year with some honor cords. I'm hoping touring schools will motivate him to do well too.

As a side note, Grown and Flown is a nice page to follow on Facebook. Lots of helpful advice from those that have been there.

 There are a ton of schools now that are not requiring a certain SAT score. If your son can get his GPA up a little and completes the necessary "college prep" courses during H.S., he can still have a good chance of getting in. It just depends on the school you want to attend and what major your son wants to pursue. The "college pre" classes are typically 4 years of English, 3 years of math, 2 years of social science, 2 years of science with a lab, 2 years of a foreign language and 1 year visual or performing arts and 1 year college prep elective which most high school students have all of these classes completed by the end of senior year.

[cjcouple]

tarzanswife, that's encouraging!!

[tarzanswife]

Schools that don't require SAT / ACT scores:


LINK

[InBetweenDays]

DD is a junior and we started casually touring colleges this summer. She's VERY interested in playing lacrosse in college for a D3 school and I think that is attainable. But this process really is overwhelming. I'm less worried about her getting in somewhere - because she is a solid student and I know she'll get in to at least one college - but I am worried about finding a school that is a good fit for her.

[formerlyak]

Also, Google "great colleges for B students". There are a lot of schools out there that are amazing.

www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities/a-plus

My cousin's son was a B, sometimes C student and she and her husband were worried that he'd not get into or make it through college. He is a senior at Auburn now and will graduate on time in the Spring. There are lots of great schools for students with a 3.0.

[formerlyak]

Another point about college sports, you can look to see if the schools you are considering have a college-level club style team. They play against other colleges regionally, but aren't the NCAA school team. I know golf has NexGen Golf and there is a swimming version my friend's daughter is on at Oregon. I have friends who did club hockey when I was in college. That's DS plan. He wants to concentrate on his degree requirements, but still play with other students from school.

[cjcouple]

Sept 7, 2022 14:09:07 GMT -5 tarzanswife said:

Sept 7, 2022 13:39:26 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

 There are a ton of schools now that are not requiring a certain SAT score. If your son can get his GPA up a little and completes the necessary "college prep" courses during H.S., he can still have a good chance of getting in. It just depends on the school you want to attend and what major your son wants to pursue. The "college pre" classes are typically 4 years of English, 3 years of math, 2 years of social science, 2 years of science with a lab, 2 years of a foreign language and 1 year visual or performing arts and 1 year college prep elective which most high school students have all of these classes completed by the end of senior year.

The only hiccup might be he had Academic level Civics as a Freshman.  He did get an A and is in CP US History this year.  Plus he took 2 elective CP History classes and got an A and high B as a freshman and a sophomore.  All others are CP and one Honors Science class so far. Hopefully the Civics isn't an issue

[rooster222]

I have a senior dd. She's looking at one big state school, two smaller state schools and two out of state options (both expensive)! She's had some struggles academically and her SAT scores are not noteworthy. Hopefully our saving grace is that she is very involved in clubs and sports and is already working in the area in which she plans to major.

I'm already ruling out the out of state options but I told her she's welcome to apply. The big state school has a great program in her major and it's about an hour from home. Hoping this option works out! We're visiting the smaller state schools over fall break, also both within an hour.

[Queen Mamadala]

My oldest is a senior with plans to take the SAT next month. She’s taken the PSAT since fall of freshman year and was a dual enrollment and JHU CTY student starting that year. But it was a mess with the pandemic, although she maintained 4.5 gpa until last year where it currently sits at 4.2. We’ve been swarmed with marketing brochures. Her top choices have been Minerva, Columbia, NYU, Swarthmore, and UC Berkeley. We recently received some stuff from Harvard in a “Have you considered us at all?” which I find hilarious.

She’s part of a program that will guarantee her a spot in a UC college based on her gpa and portfolio and all that jazz. She’ll be attending a local HBCU college fair next week. Her extracurriculars are focused on her creative pursuits. She attends an independent study high school and her culminating study is to publish her first novella and produce a score (OST) to accompany it. She’s been studying film scoring/music production alongside creative writing interests.

[1confused1]

For those of you that have kids interested in playing sports in college, make sure they are meeting the NCAA academic requirements, some of them (depending on what division level the sport is) are different than graduation requirements.

Here is a link, I am not endorsing NCSA and their services, but they often have good website resources (I have heard coaches do not like working with recruitment services):

www.ncsasports.org/ncaa-eligibility-center/eligibility-requirements

[1confused1]

My son is a sophomore and we are already in the college baseball recruiting process, I can’t believe it starts so early.

He has a list of schools he is interested in and his coaches think he can go D1 so we are making sure he is taking the right classes and keeping his grades up.

[threejs]

My DD is a sophomore, but very interested in colleges, and highly academically competitive. She's not a genius, but has all honors and one AP class this year. She plays zero sports and doesn't have a ton of extra curriculars. I'm worried because I'm fairly certain she has no chance getting into her dream Ivy and maybe not the small private liberal arts places she's interested in either. Her school also doesn't have a good college counselor, and I wonder how much that plays a role. She does have Naviance, which we are just starting to explore. Hopefully we find the right fit. We will visit Swarthmore in the spring because one of my closest friends teaches there. I don't know that she has any hope of getting in, though.

[tarzanswife]

Sept 7, 2022 14:53:18 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Sept 7, 2022 14:09:07 GMT -5 tarzanswife said:

 There are a ton of schools now that are not requiring a certain SAT score. If your son can get his GPA up a little and completes the necessary "college prep" courses during H.S., he can still have a good chance of getting in. It just depends on the school you want to attend and what major your son wants to pursue. The "college pre" classes are typically 4 years of English, 3 years of math, 2 years of social science, 2 years of science with a lab, 2 years of a foreign language and 1 year visual or performing arts and 1 year college prep elective which most high school students have all of these classes completed by the end of senior year.

The only hiccup might be he had Academic level Civics as a Freshman.  He did get an A and is in CP US History this year.  Plus he took 2 elective CP History classes and got an A and high B as a freshman and a sophomore.  All others are CP and one Honors Science class so far. Hopefully the Civics isn't an issue

This could also be school specific as to whether or not this class would qualify. I know my sons school had a list of classes that met the "social science" requirement.

[georgeglass]

I have twins that are seniors. It's making me not be able to breathe a little bit. My son's school uses Naviance and I can look at the scattergram of where kids from his school with similar stats have been admitted. He is planning to ED to my alma mater and it's listed for him as a safety, so I have pretty good confidence there. My daughter had three schools on her list - one with 30k and one with 2k were her top two. One of my work friends who just left college admissions is now encouraging her to also apply to my alma mater. My son is now annoyed that she may attend the same college. His stats are better than hers, so I am nervous about a split decision and nightmare. Fun!

[rootbeerfloat]

DS is a sophomore, taking honors/AP classes and getting good grades. He isn't an athlete or into any extracurriculars, though we keep encouraging him to join something since he wants to go to college. He has no idea what he wants to study (only what DOESN'T interest him lol), which makes it difficult to identify potential options.

[wanderlustmom]

Our son is a senior and I'm already letting it all go! LOL! Also my Lexapro helps a lot. A lot of moms are really stressing and I'm social and hear the worry but I'm telling myself it's not going to help anything.  He's also applying early so I hope that helps too, we will know by Christmas unless he gets wait listed.   I know easier said than done but I think it's better to let it go.  My sister has three kids all in college and she said the best thing to do is not listen to the parents who stress you out and want to compare.. Man she is so right!


Like all kids, my son has some things he does really well in (GPA and test scores) and some things he's not as good in (community service). He's applying to ten (including OP Stanford, his chance of getting in, slim to none, our chance of paying for it--slim to none). His school is an IB program in our public schools and they do all of the essays and applying with him and he's applying to one state school he loves but is very hard to get into (Georgia Tech) and one state school he likes and most of his program gets in (Georgia). Some of the out of states are really pricey so we will need to see if he gets any merit scholarships. I find friends like me who don't brag about their kids, I do not share his scores even if asked, and I remind him he will be fine no matter what and to expect rejection. He's already faced rejection in sports (he wanted to be a better soccer player than he is) so I hope that will prepare him if he doesn't get in his dream school.

My husband and I tell him all the time we both went to mediocre state schools and we've turned out fine. 

[cmeon]

I've been surprised by how hard it is to get community service hours. DS is young for his grade (late summer birthday), and the vast majority of the volunteer opportunities that are left (many disappeared with COVID) require kids to be 16- if not older. And he will be 15 all year. Maybe similar issues are inspiring all the "kid created" non-profits?

It sounds like he will be able to cram a bunch of hours this summer, and it sounds like the MS would love to have him for tutoring later in the year. But it's definitely a different climate now than pre-pandemic.

[formerlyak]

Sept 7, 2022 16:59:23 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I've been surprised by how hard it is to get community service hours. DS is young for his grade (late summer birthday), and the vast majority of the volunteer opportunities that are left (many disappeared with COVID) require kids to be 16- if not older. And he will be 15 all year. Maybe similar issues are inspiring all the "kid created" non-profits?

It sounds like he will be able to cram a bunch of hours this summer, and it sounds like the MS would love to have him for tutoring later in the year. But it's definitely a different climate now than pre-pandemic.

Does his school have a tutoring club during lunch that he can volunteer at? Local library? DS has been volunteering at the library since he was in 6th grade. Big Buddies has an e-buddies program and you only need to be in 4th grade, I believe. They assign differently abled students as e-pen pals to give each other support during the school year.

ETA: my starting a nonprofit comment was simply because a minor technically can’t incorporate a nonprofit. Their parents probably do the business side of things and the kid is listed as a founder. But there are legal requirements with filing as a nonprofit and you need to be an adult. I work in nonprofit management.

[InBetweenDays]

Sept 7, 2022 16:59:23 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I've been surprised by how hard it is to get community service hours. DS is young for his grade (late summer birthday), and the vast majority of the volunteer opportunities that are left (many disappeared with COVID) require kids to be 16- if not older. And he will be 15 all year. Maybe similar issues are inspiring all the "kid created" non-profits?

It sounds like he will be able to cram a bunch of hours this summer, and it sounds like the MS would love to have him for tutoring later in the year. But it's definitely a different climate now than pre-pandemic.

Do you have a local food bank? DD has volunteered there weekly and I don't think they had an age requirement (I'm pretty sure she started before she turned 16). She also was a counselor in training at the boys and girls club the summer before her freshman year. She actually could have gotten all her hours covered that one summer but our high school only allows rising freshman to count 15 hours.


Some other ideas she is doing or we've seen:

• She is signed with her sports team to clean up our college stadium the morning after games. She gets community service hours but in addition her sports team gets a donation from the college.
• She is going to help coach some U8-U13 girls lacrosse teams (the same program she played with)
• The local elementary schools are often looking for high school volunteers for their fundraising or community events (carnivals, movie nights, auctions, etc.) 
• Helping with setting up and taking down the local farmers market
• Volunteering planting projects with a local environmental restoration organization
• Working in the high school library shelving and processing books, etc.
• Heck, the boys football team was getting service hours last night for shagging soccer balls during the girls varsity soccer game (which I don't think should count). 

[cmeon]

Sept 7, 2022 17:18:43 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Sept 7, 2022 16:59:23 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I've been surprised by how hard it is to get community service hours. DS is young for his grade (late summer birthday), and the vast majority of the volunteer opportunities that are left (many disappeared with COVID) require kids to be 16- if not older. And he will be 15 all year. Maybe similar issues are inspiring all the "kid created" non-profits?

It sounds like he will be able to cram a bunch of hours this summer, and it sounds like the MS would love to have him for tutoring later in the year. But it's definitely a different climate now than pre-pandemic.

Does his school have a tutoring club during lunch that he can volunteer at? Local library? DS has been volunteering at the library since he was in 6th grade. Big Buddies has an e-buddies program and you only need to be in 4th grade, I believe. They assign differently abled students as e-pen pals to give each other support during the school year.

ETA: my starting a nonprofit comment was simply because a minor technically can’t incorporate a nonprofit. Their parents probably do the business side of things and the kid is listed as a founder. But there are legal requirements with filing as a nonprofit and you need to be an adult. I work in nonprofit management.

Library is 16+, no tutoring club (maybe he can start one...), and I haven't heard of Big Buddies (but it sounds awesome, thanks)! Keep the ideas coming, I'm sure other people are struggling with this if it's this bad here (we have a lot of need, it's disappointing that kids can't help more).

I know what you meant about the NPs, it's all so ridiculous!

[1confused1]

Sept 7, 2022 16:59:23 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I've been surprised by how hard it is to get community service hours. DS is young for his grade (late summer birthday), and the vast majority of the volunteer opportunities that are left (many disappeared with COVID) require kids to be 16- if not older. And he will be 15 all year. Maybe similar issues are inspiring all the "kid created" non-profits?

It sounds like he will be able to cram a bunch of hours this summer, and it sounds like the MS would love to have him for tutoring later in the year. But it's definitely a different climate now than pre-pandemic.

Look for local community gardens, that is where we have found volunteer opportunities for our baseball team.

[sweetchix]

Sept 7, 2022 15:45:08 GMT -5 rootbeerfloat said:

DS is a sophomore, taking honors/AP classes and getting good grades. He isn't an athlete or into any extracurriculars, though we keep encouraging him to join something since he wants to go to college. He has no idea what he wants to study (only what DOESN'T interest him lol), which makes it difficult to identify potential options.

We’re in the same boat here. DD is taking 3 advance classes this year, plays no sports, and is currently not in any extracurriculars. This thread is making me wonder if she should join some clubs this year.