My 11 year old would make a fantastic mother's helper, but I'm not sure I'd leave her completely on her own with kids yet.
How old are the kids that your child would be watching? How long would the parents be gone? How far is their home from yours, or at least from an adult that could come in an emergency? Does your child have a cell phone or does the home still have a house line?
Those are all things I'd want to consider before I agreed.
Check your state’s laws. 13 is the minimum age for babysitting per my state’s DCFS guidelines, so definitely not before that. And as a mom of young kids, I can’t imagine letting someone under 13 (and tbh not even that young) watch my kids without an adult home.
A parent helper is a good idea though. She could entertain kids while the parents are home doing things around the house.
Good question. I asked the internet the same question. There are some good guidelines here.
Basically, when you feel they can meet the same expectations you'd have for a babysitter. My 11 yo checks a lot of the boxes in the link above. Rule follower, makes good choices, knows the basics of what to do in an emergency. However, they also have ADHD and significant executive functioning challenges. They took the Red Cross babysitting course and are ready to gradually take on more responsibility.
We've only allowed them to watch our youngest (5) at home for a couple of hours occasionally. Over the past 6-12 months, we've gradually increased responsibility and kept it simple. We started with parent helper type stuff. Then left for short periods of time nearby. Most recently, we've left them alone for up to 2 hours. No meals or bedtimes yet. They have two ways to communicate with us - through the Gizmo and iPad.
I got my first babysitting job at 12, and at that time you could take the red cross babysitter safety class (it included infant CPR and first aid) once you were 11 and in the 5th grade. It looks like they still put the minimum age at 11.
My first job was two houses down and I did need to call my mom when the older kid said the younger was allergic to something he just ate. Turned out he wasn't and the older kid was lying but it was good to have an adult nearby.
IMO, it is really dependent on the kid. I taught 5th grade and had 11 year olds who were super with it and could have easily babysat preschoolers but i also had other 11 year olds who I wouldn’t trust to stay home alone for any length of time, much less be in charge of younger kids.
My dd is 10.5 and very responsible but I don’t think I’m ready for her to babysit just yet. She does play with the preschooler and toddler a few houses down and their mom will take a shower, cook dinner, etc., so more of an informal mothers helper.
My 11 year old had been asked to babysit by a friend. How fix you know your kid was old enough to baby mail?
I'm no help but these typos gave me the giggles!
HA! My phone is the worst for auto correct. I kept correcting "tour" to "your" in my texts to DH yesterday and he kept answering "my what?" It was a mess.
My 11 year old would make a fantastic mother's helper, but I'm not sure I'd leave her completely on her own with kids yet.
How old are the kids that your child would be watching? How long would the parents be gone? How far is their home from yours, or at least from an adult that could come in an emergency? Does your child have a cell phone or does the home still have a house line?
Those are all things I'd want to consider before I agreed.
Another fat finger typo - she's 12, not 11. She's done mother's helper stuff for her aunt and toddler/baby cousins.
She knows the family, house and kid well - it's the 6 year old little sister of one of her best friends who absolutely idolizes her. The big sister and dad will be out of town for the weekend.
It's 5-8. She has an apple watch with phone service. We'd be a short distance away (not walking distance, but could come quickly if called).
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 18, 2023 10:25:13 GMT -5
Yeah, kid dependent...I would let my 11 year old, who has proven herself responsible and reliable, watch her 3-5 year old, potty trained, walking/talking cousins who she is familiar with and has 'watched' during family events for short amounts of time if needed. I would not let my 13 year old ds who has no interest in kids and thinks it's funny to try to get them to do somewhat dangerous things during these same family gatherings (like run full-speed towards a wall on slippery floors type things, or allow them to try out his hoverboard, he's not a monster, but he would not be a good babysitter).
My DDs both took the Red Cross babysitting course and got certified not long after they turned 11. They started babysitting after that, so they were 11. I would not allow them to babysit before being certified, that was my rule. They did a great job babysitting and have both babysat quite a bit for our neighbor’s baby, then toddler, now preschooler. They also babysat for my nieces and for another neighbor.
My 11 year old DS would also like to babysit to make money. I doubt people will hire him though, people generally don’t hire boy babysitters around here. He’s also immature for his age with severe ADHD that makes him a lot. I’ll probably let him take the Red Cross course in the next year sometime because I think it’s good skills to have anyway. I guess we will see if anyone would hire him.
So obviously I’d let a mature 11 year old babysit if they were certified.
My 11 year old would make a fantastic mother's helper, but I'm not sure I'd leave her completely on her own with kids yet.
How old are the kids that your child would be watching? How long would the parents be gone? How far is their home from yours, or at least from an adult that could come in an emergency? Does your child have a cell phone or does the home still have a house line?
Those are all things I'd want to consider before I agreed.
Another fat finger typo - she's 12, not 11. She's done mother's helper stuff for her aunt and toddler/baby cousins.
She knows the family, house and kid well - it's the 6 year old little sister of one of her best friends who absolutely idolizes her. The big sister and dad will be out of town for the weekend.
It's 5-8. She has an apple watch with phone service. We'd be a short distance away (not walking distance, but could come quickly if called).
In this scenario I'd allow it. But only if I knew I was available to step in if an emergency occurred.
She is super responsible- people have been asking me to let her babysit their kids since she was 10. She leads the girl scout meetings for her little sibling and is beloved by the kids. She has already made meals for the child when she's over hanging out with the big sister and helped with her bedtime. This is the first time I've considered it outside the family mother's helper role.
I am 100% comfortable with my almost-11 year old babysitting her 8 year old brother for short periods of time during the day. She's an amazing mother's helper with little kids and our extended families love when she is around to help wrangle the littler kids (3 - 8). She is a natural rule follower.
However, I'd probably hold off on babysitting kids outside of the immediate family for a few years. She does regularly "play" with the much younger neighbors in our house, which has her taking a babysitter-type role. I'm 100% comfortable with her doing this sort of work, but I'd be really concerned with her ability to handle an emergency or a kid completely going off the rails.
Another fat finger typo - she's 12, not 11. She's done mother's helper stuff for her aunt and toddler/baby cousins.
She knows the family, house and kid well - it's the 6 year old little sister of one of her best friends who absolutely idolizes her. The big sister and dad will be out of town for the weekend.
It's 5-8. She has an apple watch with phone service. We'd be a short distance away (not walking distance, but could come quickly if called).
In this scenario I'd allow it. But only if I knew I was available to step in if an emergency occurred.
Yeah - I feel like I need to stay on call for the evening. But that's okay.
Post by dutchgirl678 on Jan 18, 2023 10:35:42 GMT -5
My 14-year old is not mature enough to babysit on her own. I don't even want to let her home by herself or watching her 11-year old brother. But I would say at least 13.
I’d be hesitant to let a kid’s first babysitting experience be an evening gig like you’ve described. 5-8pm feels like it would be throwing a young babysitter right into the deep end.
ETA: if you’re considering allowing this, could you talk to the parents about doing a trial run first, where your kid watches the younger kid for only an hour during an afternoon when there aren’t added babysitter expectations of dinner, cleanup, getting ready for bed, possibly tired kid, etc - just to see how it goes?
lucybrown, the first item on the home alone checklist is actually a negative for me:
"Do you live in a quiet rural or residential neighborhood?"
A kid in the city with nearby neighbors seems better off than a kid on 5 acres with nobody around in an emergency.
Valid point. I expect opinions will vary. I grew up in a rural area and currently live in an urban city. Both have different pros/cons, and things to consider for each individual family.
My 11 year old would make a fantastic mother's helper, but I'm not sure I'd leave her completely on her own with kids yet.
How old are the kids that your child would be watching? How long would the parents be gone? How far is their home from yours, or at least from an adult that could come in an emergency? Does your child have a cell phone or does the home still have a house line?
Those are all things I'd want to consider before I agreed.
Another fat finger typo - she's 12, not 11. She's done mother's helper stuff for her aunt and toddler/baby cousins.
She knows the family, house and kid well - it's the 6 year old little sister of one of her best friends who absolutely idolizes her. The big sister and dad will be out of town for the weekend.
It's 5-8. She has an apple watch with phone service. We'd be a short distance away (not walking distance, but could come quickly if called).
That sounds like a really good 'trial' experience to see how it goes and see how she feels about doing it. She knows the kid/family/house, but the friend won't be there. If she wants to do it, I would def. let her try it.
Anecdote, but I would tell her not to feel bad if it doesn't go as well as she hopes or she doesn't 'like' doing it though. I thought I wanted to babysit when I was a kid. I was a mature, responsible kid too. I took the course and was certified. And then I took a job for a family friend, and I got there, and just didn't know what to do, felt weird and uncomfortable the whole time, and honestly never wanted to do it again. And I didn't until I was in college and my bff asked me to fill in for her when she was in a bind during her summer nanny job, and that day was just as awful even though I was practically an adult at that point and those kids were perfectly fine. I just was't good with kids (I REALLY REALLY wasn't until I had kids of my own, and even now, I still prefer older kids to young kids).
I’d be hesitant to let a kid’s first babysitting experience be an evening gig like you’ve described. 5-8pm feels like it would be throwing a young babysitter right into the deep end.
This is reminding me of my first nighttime babysitting gig when I was 12 or 13. I had been a mother's helper for the family for the summer, and then they asked me to babysit for an evening.
It went... extremely poorly. In retrospect, the kids were 5, 3, and 9 months and I was WAY too young for the responsibility of putting kids that age to bed. (I... still suck at putting kids to bed, to be honest). The parents came home to both me and and the baby sobbing in her room. The older kids were in their jammies but still jumping on their beds with their lights on.
I'm assuming that in the OP's scenario, a 6 year old could stay awake until the parents came home though. Biggest issue for me at that age would have been whether I was scared to be alone after dark.
I've check the law - no minimum in CA. I'll have her take the Red Cross babysitting class and then we'll go through these and other criteria and do a gut check to see if it feels right after that. I know this mom will ask again when DD's ready because the little one loves DD.
I’d be hesitant to let a kid’s first babysitting experience be an evening gig like you’ve described. 5-8pm feels like it would be throwing a young babysitter right into the deep end.
This is reminding me of my first nighttime babysitting gig when I was 12 or 13. I had been a mother's helper for the family for the summer, and then they asked me to babysit for an evening.
It went... extremely poorly. In retrospect, the kids were 5, 3, and 9 months and I was WAY too young for the responsibility of putting kids that age to bed. (I... still suck at putting kids to bed, to be honest). The parents came home to both me and and the baby sobbing in her room. The older kids were in their jammies but still jumping on their beds with their lights on.
I'm assuming that in the OP's scenario, a 6 year old could stay awake until the parents came home though. Biggest issue for me at that age would have been whether I was scared to be alone after dark.
I’m just thinking about how obstinate my normally easy 5yo can get around bedtime. Even if she’s allowed to stay up until parents are home, those are the prime hours for whining and pushing known boundaries.
I’d be hesitant to let a kid’s first babysitting experience be an evening gig like you’ve described. 5-8pm feels like it would be throwing a young babysitter right into the deep end.
This is reminding me of my first nighttime babysitting gig when I was 12 or 13. I had been a mother's helper for the family for the summer, and then they asked me to babysit for an evening.
It went... extremely poorly. In retrospect, the kids were 5, 3, and 9 months and I was WAY too young for the responsibility of putting kids that age to bed. (I... still suck at putting kids to bed, to be honest). The parents came home to both me and and the baby sobbing in her room. The older kids were in their jammies but still jumping on their beds with their lights on.
I'm assuming that in the OP's scenario, a 6 year old could stay awake until the parents came home though. Biggest issue for me at that age would have been whether I was scared to be alone after dark.
I babysat the son of family friends when he was under 1 and I was 16/17. The baby's parents went out to dinner 10 minutes away with my parents. He screamed the entire time. I tried to change a peed diaper and probably went through 6 wipes. After about 45 minutes, the parents called and decided to pick him up and take him to the restaurant (he apparently screamed for everyone but mom).
This was my sole kid watching experience prior to having kids.
Post by aprilsails on Jan 18, 2023 11:01:50 GMT -5
I think with the situation you’ve outlined and your DD’s responsibility level that I would give it a go, but be prepared on standby. Taking the Red Cross course is a good idea.
My first babysitting gig was a 12 week old on NYE. It was half a km down the road. The parents came home at 3:30am after telling me it would be 1 at the latest. I was in a full panic certain they had died on a rural road or gotten a DUI. Idiots. I never babysat for them again. I was 11 and a half and had just taken the course and had no experience with babies, but had been in charge of my 10 and 5 year old siblings often before. It was wild. The baby was honestly fine, I just remember telling my mom the next morning that I definitely did not like infants. 19 years later when I was having my first kid I was dreading the infant year, and my only experience to go on was that one night. Obviously it scarred me.
We have an 11 year old babysit for us some. She's super sweet and mature and my son is 6 so he doesn't need much. She just plays video games with him or watches movies or whatever. I don't have her make him any food (I'll just order them a pizza) or do baths or anything so that eliminates some potential dangers. I only do this if we're going out locally and could be home in a few minutes if needed. I also have an older neighbor who is home all the time that she could reach out to if needed. All that to say, I think depending on the scenario it could work!
Post by mccallister84 on Jan 18, 2023 11:10:23 GMT -5
I guess I would want more details on the job.
I would say, if I was hiring this sitter, I would expect her to play with my 5 year old from 5-6. Then feed her a dinner that would just have to be heated up in the microwave and get her in pajamas from 6-6:30 and then watch a movie with her from 6:30-8. I would not expect the sitter to put her to bed.
For my child, I would hope that their first babysitting job would be structured in a way to really set them up for success, especially with a family friend.
My first babysitting gig was a 12 week old on NYE. It was half a km down the road. The parents came home at 3:30am after telling me it would be 1 at the latest. I was in a full panic certain they had died on a rural road or gotten a DUI. Idiots. I never babysat for them again. I was 11 and a half and had just taken the course and had no experience with babies, but had been in charge of my 10 and 5 year old siblings often before. It was wild. The baby was honestly fine, I just remember telling my mom the next morning that I definitely did not like infants. 19 years later when I was having my first kid I was dreading the infant year, and my only experience to go on was that one night. Obviously it scarred me.
you were ELEVEN and they didn't come home until 3:30am after telling you they'd be home by 1??? OMG. I hope your parents read them the riot act!!
sonrisa, everything you've said about your DD makes it sound like she is the ideal babysitter. I suppose the only thing is, she's never had any experience with it before, in terms of doing a mother's helper gig beforehand, and it's not clear how long and what time the gig they want to hire her for is. If it's a legit evening/after dark gig, have to put the kid to bed, then no I would not do that because she's never sat at all previously. However, what I'd suggest is the kid come to your house and your DD watch her there without your assistance unless needed.
Signed, started sitting at 12 with my first few gigs as mother's helpers. Watched my 1 year old cousin at my grandparents' house one week after school when my grandmother was busy with something else, also spent a whole summer (I was 13) watching my 8, 5, and infant cousins in a back room at my aunt and uncle's workplace.
My first babysitting gig was a 12 week old on NYE. It was half a km down the road. The parents came home at 3:30am after telling me it would be 1 at the latest. I was in a full panic certain they had died on a rural road or gotten a DUI. Idiots. I never babysat for them again. I was 11 and a half and had just taken the course and had no experience with babies, but had been in charge of my 10 and 5 year old siblings often before. It was wild. The baby was honestly fine, I just remember telling my mom the next morning that I definitely did not like infants. 19 years later when I was having my first kid I was dreading the infant year, and my only experience to go on was that one night. Obviously it scarred me.
you were ELEVEN and they didn't come home until 3:30am after telling you they'd be home by 1??? OMG. I hope your parents read them the riot act!!
I don’t think they were impressed, no, but I also don’t think we were expecting much of them. The family had a lot of drama. Also my parents were super laid back parents. Certainly of the don’t come inside until after dark school.