Post by wanderlustmom on Mar 6, 2023 16:37:41 GMT -5
Everyone has covered it all so well, just one more thought, is he depressed? My neighbor's ex husband would come home from work every day and sleep for several hours. He did not respond well to antidepressants and would not go to therapy. I know the drinking is a more likely culprit but just wanted to throw that out there. I feel for you, I would be really frustrated too.
My 10 year olds stay home alone after school so a napping adult wouldn’t be a huge deal assuming it’s someone we know well and the kids are mature enough to be supervised by a napping adult. For my kids, that’s yes because they will love the opportunity to play endless video games.
The day drinking would be a huge no for me, though. I would not be ok with my kids being at a home where the only adult is asleep and has been drinking.
So much of this is dependent on the dynamics of my relationship with the parent. If I know them really well it would be nbd, if this is my first time letting my kid go to your house then I would not be doing it again.
The age is iffy, they are right on the cusp of being able to be home alone BUT as others have said, the supervision goes up when another kid is over.
I could see my H doing something during a play date that I wouldn't do myself - not sleeping, but he would do yard work for example and not necessarily be watching the kids, whereas I would be more present. That is just a difference in parenting styles. What you are describing sounds like a bigger issue beyond this one instance, I would definitely want to get to the bottom of it. I can't imagine he actually wants to be sleeping all the time!
Post by emilyinchile on Mar 6, 2023 18:20:45 GMT -5
I don't think it's problematic to have a beer by yourself on a Sunday afternoon if you just like the taste of beer, and I'm assuming most men wouldn't be impaired by that amount. But I can't imagine that one drink would lead someone to then say in the middle of the night that they think they're throwing up because they had too much alcohol almost 12 hours earlier. I know ML is great at turning molehills into Everest, but this seems like you've got a bigger issue than the napping.
Seems a bit weird to drink alone during the day at home while supervising another persons kid I guess.
I am generally not worried about 10 year olds being unsupervised in that way though assuming normal level of maturity for age. Like if my daughter and her friend (they are 10) were hanging and my husband fell asleep on the couch I wouldn’t be alarmed but if he was like oh yeah I had a midday beer and fell asleep and slept through the other parent picking up I might be like wtf.
Taken all together, I probably wouldn't plan playdates when I couldn't supervise after that.
You can't control his behavior. However, you can have a different standard of care you want to provide for guest children and schedule visits accordingly.
When my judgment and DH's differ he is rarely interested in changing. But I can change my expectations and planning.
Neither of these things alone make me worry: Having A drink while an older child is over A parent dozing off on the couch while older child is over (though STAYING asleep is unexpected)
However, having potentially multiple drinks while supervising kids is a different story. And I also would think twice if the parent had said, "Kids, I'm going up to take a nap" and went to their room vs dozing off while watching TV on the couch. And falling into a deep enough sleep where you don't hear the doorbell or commotion in a nearby space sounds like potentially more than just a regular midday nap.
As with everything, nothing is simple. Given your follow-ups, I would be upset, too.
I agree with recommendations to check for sleep apnea. My husband could sleep for 12 hours and still fall asleep sitting up and take a 4 hour nap prior to getting his CPAP. Now he almost never naps and gets a normal amount of sleep. Getting a watch with a sleep tracker FINALLY got him to agree to go see the doctor. When he saw that he got 4 MINUTES of deep sleep for the whole night vs my several hours, he FINALLY accepted that something wasn't right. If you can't convince him to go on his own, maybe getting something like that to measure his sleep at home would help. (Also, some clinics do at-home sleep studies now, I believe.)
I have a 9 year old and I'd definitely be the parent falling asleep in the middle of a playdate. Because I also have a new 5 year old that messes with my night time sleep daily. But I'd probably wake up if the doorbell rang and I'd probably take my phone off silent if another kid was home in case the other parent called/texted.
I don't think it's problematic to have a beer by yourself on a Sunday afternoon if you just like the taste of beer, and I'm assuming most men wouldn't be impaired by that amount. But I can't imagine that one drink would lead someone to then say in the middle of the night that they think they're throwing up because they had too much alcohol almost 12 hours earlier. I know ML is great at turning molehills into Everest, but this seems like you've got a bigger issue than the napping.
This 100%. And I have definitely had a beer while supervising a playdate.
Post by goldengirlz on Mar 6, 2023 19:14:14 GMT -5
I think the kids were okay AND you’re not wrong to be upset, given his history.
Fundamentally, this is about trust. Something tells me that if you trusted his judgment you wouldn’t be here asking for a gut check.
ETA: The falling asleep thing happens, though there’s a difference between drifting off and being stone cold passed out (like due to alcohol.) I also wouldn’t care if a parent had one beer, as long as they were able to drive in an emergency. If you’re supervising, then you need to have your wits about you. Most parents I know busy themselves doing their own thing while their kids have friends over, but I trust that they’re still on top of things. And it sounds like that’s where you have doubts.
My initial reaction was sleep apnea (my husband used to sleep through anything before the cpap, and would nap all the time). I’m sorry about the drinking adding even another layer. 😢
If it was just my kid, I'd be ok with the parent napping. With a friend over? No way. The parent should have been checked to see if he had a medical emergency.
TBF, I hate napping. So if I'm napping it's because I'm sick/have a migraine. And I'm likely to sleep for well over an hour and not wake easily, so I can see myself sleeping through pickup, especially if I was in the bedroom.
I think some of you are too breezy. The standard of supervision is higher when you’re hosting someone who isn’t your kid. I have a 10 year old and a 9 year old, but I wouldn’t go to bed if they had a friend over. I would not be comfortable with future play dates if I came to retrieve my child and the only adult slept through it.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
I think some of you are too breezy. The standard of supervision is higher when you’re hosting someone who isn’t your kid. I have a 10 year old and a 9 year old, but I wouldn’t go to bed if they had a friend over. I would not be comfortable with future play dates if I came to retrieve my child and the only adult slept through it.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
A sleepover is different because I assume the kids are also going to be sleeping for that time, the house is locked up, etc (although I also wouldn't be ok with my child sleeping over at a non-vetted house and I have never hosted a non family sleepover and haven't yet allowed my 9 or ten year old to go to a non family sleepover). If you invite my 9 year old over for a playdate, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to assume you'll stay awake for the course of the playdate. Someone walked into the house and took the kid and the parent didn't know! I would not be ok with that. I think this board IS consistent, if they were saying they were wishing kids were more free. Most of the replies in this thread were breezy about this situation. I am one of the few dissenters.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
A sleepover is different because I assume the kids are also going to be sleeping for that time, the house is locked up, etc (although I also wouldn't be ok with my child sleeping over at a non-vetted house and I have never hosted a non family sleepover and haven't yet allowed my 9 or ten year old to go to a non family sleepover). If you invite my 9 year old over for a playdate, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to assume you'll stay awake for the course of the playdate. Someone walked into the house and took the kid and the parent didn't know! I would not be ok with that. I think this board IS consistent, if they were saying they were wishing kids were more free. Most of the replies in this thread were breezy about this situation. I am one of the few dissenters.
I do agree with you that it is insane to have someone COME INTO THE HOUSE and take the kid home, without the supervisor ever knowing, but I am also team "9 and 10 year olds can stay home alone for awhile" in most cases, so I am not sure why it actually does bother me. Like, I think back to when I was 9 and 10 and had friends over. My parents would not be in the house and would be somewhere on our property (many acres) doing work or projects and the friends' parents would come pick them up without communicating at all with my folks. It was normal.
I am very much on the breezy end of parenting debates on these boards.
I think some of you are too breezy. The standard of supervision is higher when you’re hosting someone who isn’t your kid. I have a 10 year old and a 9 year old, but I wouldn’t go to bed if they had a friend over. I would not be comfortable with future play dates if I came to retrieve my child and the only adult slept through it.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
I think context is important here. If I do a scheduled playdate it is usually just 2-3 hours and I have one planned activity even if that activity is go play board games indoors since it is cold out. This is for my 10 year old. Other parents and myself are expected to be awake. The parents drop off and pick up.
The other scenario is different. My son is 12 and his friends prefer to hang out outside even in the cold. They all have phones now. They get together on their own with no expectation of supervision and play BB in my driveway and go to the park by themselves. We've also had big groups of neighborhood kids including the 10 year old girls in the neighborhood. Again, not really an expectation of supervision except for hey look out your window every once and a while, and they have 3 houses to run to and can call 911 and/ or their parents in a true emergency. I would take a nap in this situation.
Now, the same neighbor kids used to come over when they were 10 and 8. The 8 year old girls needed a lot more help including balls in the face with bloody noses, other general injuries, and mine needed assistance with the group dynamics. In that case, I stayed awake. I am greatly liking as they get older I don't have to supervise as much because my house (outside) is the hangout.
With sleepovers, the parents are agreeing that they are sleeping in a separate area away from the parents and the parents might fall asleep before the kids do.
I think expectations are generally on the same page in my parent group, but if I am doing something different, for example leaving the house while the 12 year olds played BB on my property then I did give the parents a heads up text.
I think some of you are too breezy. The standard of supervision is higher when you’re hosting someone who isn’t your kid. I have a 10 year old and a 9 year old, but I wouldn’t go to bed if they had a friend over. I would not be comfortable with future play dates if I came to retrieve my child and the only adult slept through it.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
Because sleeping so deeply that you don't hear someone coming to your house and leaving with a child is, I'm just going to say it, likely alcohol or drug induced. 100% of the time? No. But it's the first thing I thought when I read the post. And lo and behold, there was "a drink".
I absolutely wish kids playing outside was normal in large part because I know my son would be fine and then I'm not responsible for other people's children. If they're in my home then I am responsible for them.
I think some of you are too breezy. The standard of supervision is higher when you’re hosting someone who isn’t your kid. I have a 10 year old and a 9 year old, but I wouldn’t go to bed if they had a friend over. I would not be comfortable with future play dates if I came to retrieve my child and the only adult slept through it.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
I think you’re both right to a degree.
I think 9 and 10 year olds can handle playing on their own, and a parent napping isn’t a huge deal.
BUT. I’ll concede that I have a higher standard for myself when I’m supervising someone else’s kid, especially if I don’t know their parenting style. There are parents who won’t even offer my kid food without texting me every menu item (something I think is over the top) but I can understand where it’s coming from. I wouldn’t let my middle schooler walk to the park with a friend on their own (0.5 miles through quiet suburbia) unless I cleared it with the other parent first. I don’t think you can unilaterally make those sorts of decisions when you’re responsible for another child.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
I think you’re both right to a degree.
I think 9 and 10 year olds can handle playing on their own, and a parent napping isn’t a huge deal.
BUT. I’ll concede that I have a higher standard for myself when I’m supervising someone else’s kid, especially if I don’t know their parenting style. There are parents who won’t even offer my kid food without texting me every menu item (something I think is over the top) but I can understand where it’s coming from. I wouldn’t let my middle schooler walk to the park with a friend on their own (0.5 miles through quiet suburbia) unless I cleared it with the other parent first. I don’t think you can unilaterally make those sorts of decisions when you’re responsible for another child.
that's fair. I think I default to my closest friends, who happen to have kids these ages and we are just breezy together about this stuff, but I realize that it is not this way for everyone. Maybe when I have an older kid and they are in more situations like this outside of just our really close friend group I will have different opinions.
to be clear, I was not trying to judge anyone, but just pointing out how different the board seemed to feel about leaving kids outside unsupervised but at home while someone napped was enough to make people question it.
Yeah, I’m fine with my kids playing outside in the yard alone for hours, or sitting in a car in a parking lot, or going for a walk, but I’m really not OK with a parent sleeping so deeply they don’t wake up when I come to pick up my kid at a play date. Again, if it’s someone we know well, my kid is down the block, and my kid can get himself home as needed, that seems a little different. But if I drop my kid off at a play date, and he/she is basically trapped there, I do have some kind of expectation that the parent is accessible, and would be aware of a situation in which something went wrong… Like one of the kids getting hurt outside, someone coming to the door, a fire starting when they were trying to cook something, or whatever the case may be.
I have an eight-year-old and a 10-year-old. While there is a ton of difference between eight and 10, 10 year olds can still get into a lot of situations that may not be the greatest if no one’s paying any attention. 10 is still really young, especially the 10-year-olds who were not exposed to a ton of real life situations over the past couple years because of Covid.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
Because sleeping so deeply that you don't hear someone coming to your house and leaving with a child is, I'm just going to say it, likely alcohol or drug induced. 100% of the time? No. But it's the first thing I thought when I read the post. And lo and behold, there was "a drink".
I absolutely wish kids playing outside was normal in large part because I know my son would be fine and then I'm not responsible for other people's children. If they're in my home then I am responsible for them.
Unfortunately, I still felt responsible for kids playing outside because they were on my property. If they played at the park, my house was the closest. So my neighbors would send their kids up thinking OK, we are doing outside only so as to not be a bother. And they have great kids. But it still meant I couldn't leave the house and run errands. I had to walk to the park to tell them to come home when the parents texted me, I had to intercede with conflicts and injuries. They would argue with me when it was time to leave until I invoked their parents, and they would beg me to play with them.
I am loving that the 12 year olds have their own phones (mine is a Gabb phone so not advocating for iPhones and social media here), and their parents can just text them to come home and then they do. So much better now.
Much of that free range/ helicopter all that kind of stuff debate is really more defined by the kids' ages IMO, and our neighborhood seems to be OK with kids at the park for short periods of time. Maybe someone would call the police if they were there for 3 hours, but no one seems to be bothered if they are there for an hour, and most neighbors have at least seen our kids and know they belong to a neighbor.
Because sleeping so deeply that you don't hear someone coming to your house and leaving with a child is, I'm just going to say it, likely alcohol or drug induced. 100% of the time? No. But it's the first thing I thought when I read the post. And lo and behold, there was "a drink".
I absolutely wish kids playing outside was normal in large part because I know my son would be fine and then I'm not responsible for other people's children. If they're in my home then I am responsible for them.
Unfortunately, I still felt responsible for kids playing outside because they were on my property. If they played at the park, my house was the closest. So my neighbors would send their kids up thinking OK, we are doing outside only so as to not be a bother. And they have great kids. But it still meant I couldn't leave the house and run errands. I had to walk to the park to tell them to come home when the parents texted me, I had to intercede with conflicts and injuries. They would argue with me when it was time to leave until I invoked their parents, and they would beg me to play with them.
I am loving that the 12 year olds have their own phones (mine is a Gabb phone so not advocating for iPhones and social media here), and their parents can just text them to come home and then they do. So much better now.
Much of that free range/ helicopter all that kind of stuff debate is really more defined by the kids' ages IMO, and our neighborhood seems to be OK with kids at the park for short periods of time. Maybe someone would call the police if they were there for 3 hours, but no one seems to be bothered if they are there for an hour, and most neighbors have at least seen our kids and know they belong to a neighbor.
Parsing this down - your neighbors expected you to watch their kids at the park, and tell the kids when it was time to come home? WTF to those parents.
I realize we have now moved on from the first OP to the bigger issues causing the sleep, but this is crazy to me. What about sleepovers?
Just 10 days ago in another thread someone commented that she wished we would go back to normalizing giving kids less supervision and like 30 people were in support of that. That we wished it was normal to let kids go play outside and run around the neighborhood or even sit in the car alone for a few minutes while parents ran into the store. How do we (the board) swing in support of that but also say it is not cool for someone to nap while their kids have a friend over? **of course, this is only referring to a normal nap, not a possibly alcohol induced one that potentially caused the parent to pass out.**
I think you’re both right to a degree.
I think 9 and 10 year olds can handle playing on their own, and a parent napping isn’t a huge deal.
BUT. I’ll concede that I have a higher standard for myself when I’m supervising someone else’s kid, especially if I don’t know their parenting style. There are parents who won’t even offer my kid food without texting me every menu item (something I think is over the top) but I can understand where it’s coming from. I wouldn’t let my middle schooler walk to the park with a friend on their own (0.5 miles through quiet suburbia) unless I cleared it with the other parent first. I don’t think you can unilaterally make those sorts of decisions when you’re responsible for another child.
I agree with this. My 11 year old dd had a friend over the other day, and I thought they were outside playing in our yard. I would have been ok if they had also been playing with neighbors who live 2-3 houses down from us, who are still in 'yelling' distance from our house, and dd had her smart watch on. But dd called me from her watch to tell me that she and her friend had decided to talk a walk and walked to another friend's house that is just about 1 mile away. I flipped out at her and was like I am coming to pick you up, and she said they were on their way back and actually on our street again already (so they had been gone for a while without me realizing, basically an hour that I had thought they had just been outside), so I told them to come in immediately when they got back, and I did yell at her a bit in front of her friend because she did not have permission to go that far without talking to me about it first. Her friend's dad was coming to pick her up soon, but if he wasn't I would have had leave early, and I did text her dad about what happened and apologize for not supervising closer (I texted because he didn't come to the door to pick her up). He wasn't upset about it but thanked me for letting him know. DD got grounded for a week and we reviewed the rules of where they are allowed to go in our neighborhood without needing permission to go further with both kids.
In this case, I wouldn't be bothered by a parent napping, but again, bigger issues seem to be sleep issues/not waking up and possible drinking.
I'm back with more follow up. I have a lot of thoughts here.
Turns out my H has been really sick yesterday and today (Mon and Tues). We had a bday party here Saturday and so far I know of 6 families in attendance that have been taken down with this stomach bug. and from what I'm hearing, it's hitting the adults harder than the kids. So it figures that the incident that felt like the last straw, in a way, turns out to likely not be entirely his fault. He was probably already starting to get sick Sunday evening.
There were several comments saying basically he must've been drunk if he slept so soundly but honestly I hadn't considered that at first because him sleeping that much and that soundly is completely normal for him. Happens all the time regardless of alcohol. Not setting an alarm is also par for the course and drives me insane. I can live with you napping but please take responsibility for it and set an alarm if needed. *head explodes* The comments about sleep apnea were interesting and really rang true. I'm going to try to have that conversation with him again.
In hindsight, I'm pretty sure I believe him that it was just one drink before the nap. I also think he kept drinking through the rest of the evening after the kid was gone and me and our daughters were back home. I could see myself having done the same a year ago - little kids are out of the house, older kid is entertained and happy, it's a weekend afternoon and I pour myself a glass of wine. Is that terrible? I don't know. I had some health stuff happen last summer and will probably never be able to drink again, so for me it's kind of a moot point. BUT, I'm not trying to excuse him, I have seen concerning drinking behavior from him over the past year, basically things fell apart when I got sick. Sometimes it feels like he can't handle being around us without a buzz.
Someone asked above if he could possibly be depressed. The answer to that is yes and it even came up Sunday night when we first discussed it. He said he is depressed and it is my fault. Obviously we have a lot of issues...
Circling back to the playdate, I feel pretty strongly that we don't let this happen again. I don't want anyone to hesitate about sending their kids over. Maybe we talk about it some more and I feel better about it, or maybe I just make sure to be home when other kids are here. If he had seemed embarrassed or took any sort of responsibility that would be one thing, but it felt like he didn't really think it was a big deal. It's ridiculous to feel like I need to babysit my husband, but looks like that is where we are.
Hugs, mpc. From what I've seen on FB, you've been through the ringer in the last year and its absolutely not okay for your DH to blame his depression on you (and in case you need to hear it, it's NOT your fault). It sounds like he should see a doctor about both his depression and potential sleep apnea. FWIW, my DH is going in about potential sleep apnea in a few weeks and he would easily sleep through that too. I joke that someone could murder me while he slept and he wouldn't wake up.
Unfortunately, I still felt responsible for kids playing outside because they were on my property. If they played at the park, my house was the closest. So my neighbors would send their kids up thinking OK, we are doing outside only so as to not be a bother. And they have great kids. But it still meant I couldn't leave the house and run errands. I had to walk to the park to tell them to come home when the parents texted me, I had to intercede with conflicts and injuries. They would argue with me when it was time to leave until I invoked their parents, and they would beg me to play with them.
I am loving that the 12 year olds have their own phones (mine is a Gabb phone so not advocating for iPhones and social media here), and their parents can just text them to come home and then they do. So much better now.
Much of that free range/ helicopter all that kind of stuff debate is really more defined by the kids' ages IMO, and our neighborhood seems to be OK with kids at the park for short periods of time. Maybe someone would call the police if they were there for 3 hours, but no one seems to be bothered if they are there for an hour, and most neighbors have at least seen our kids and know they belong to a neighbor.
Parsing this down - your neighbors expected you to watch their kids at the park, and tell the kids when it was time to come home? WTF to those parents.
I don't think they expected me to watch them. That was me being responsible because I couldn't not be. But, they would text me to say hey can you send the kids home. Maybe the kids were at my house, maybe they were at the park. So if they were at the park, I would have to walk down there. And if I wanted to leave my house, I would have to send them home.
And yes, I have had my moments with it. Because then when I sent my kids to their house (outside) somehow they ended up back at mine with an excuse that they were doing outdoor work or that their sidewalks weren't as good for scootering and biking. But it provided outdoor playtime for my kids without drop offs and pick ups, so I mostly went along because of the benefits to my kids.
Eta- They honestly are great people who do offer to carpool a lot. But, at one point in time the kids formed a bike gang and I was the only one supervising it. It became a daily thing, and I work and would show up to kids in my yard after work. I had to shut that down.
Parsing this down - your neighbors expected you to watch their kids at the park, and tell the kids when it was time to come home? WTF to those parents.
I don't think they expected me to watch them. That was me being responsible because I couldn't not be. But, they would text me to say hey can you send the kids home. Maybe the kids were at my house, maybe they were at the park. So if they were at the park, I would have to walk down there. And if I wanted to leave my house, I would have to send them home.
And yes, I have had my moments with it. Because then when I sent my kids to their house (outside) somehow they ended up back at mine with an excuse that they were doing outdoor work or that their sidewalks weren't as good for scootering and biking. But it provided outdoor playtime for my kids without drop offs and pick ups, so I mostly went along because of the benefits to my kids.
Eta- They honestly are great people who do offer to carpool a lot. But, at one point in time the kids formed a bike gang and I was the only one supervising it. It became a daily thing, and I work and would show up to kids in my yard after work. I had to shut that down.
Yeah, those parents took advantage of the situation and pushed watching the kids onto you. I can see why you did it, and why they did it, but it wasn't right.