Kids and cars - 2 part question

[Deleted]

When you got your license, we’re you immediately given a car or was it more of a shared family car situation?

What about your kids? Will they be given their own car?

[Deleted]

I’ll answer my own poll.

I didn’t get my license until I was almost 20. I started driving my Mons car and a few months later she gave it to me and got herself a new car. Both of my younger brothers were not given cars.

I wasn’t in a financial position to buy my oldest a car when he started driving (he’s 27) but we just got DD16 her own car and will do the same for DS15.

It seems very common around here for kids to get their own car but that definitely wasn’t the case where I grew up and among my friends.

[mccallister84]

Shared family car. I didn’t have my own car until my senior year of college when I bought a beater.

We are a full decade away from the girls being able to drive. Whether they have a car will be dependent on a lot of things.

I would like them to have a car during college - not having one really limited my ability to work during the school year.

[jewel]

I shared a family car for maybe 6 months, then my mom got a new car and gave me her old one.

My kids are still young, oldest is 8, but we plan to give them some kind of driving option as long as they’ve proven to be reasonably responsible. It will be used but reliable, and not very cool. We plan to pay for their insurance and reasonable maintenance/repairs; they can cover their own gas.

[beerlover]

I was given a car (a Mercury Tracer, lol. I think it was a '97 or '98).
I wrecked the car 9 days after getting my license. I was just inattentive and going too fast around a corner and hit someone who was stopped in the road. I still feel awful about it, 22 years later. I was definitely one of those kids whose brain wasn't ready for driving at 16. I've never had an accident where I was at fault since then so I guess I got that out of my system though, lol. But seriously I still feel so much guilt that my dad bought me a car and I effed it all up, and that will probably inform my thoughts for when DS turns 16.

[glitzy07]

My parents bought a third "family" car around the time that I got my license that was essentially mine to use. They paid for insurance with the expectation that school was my #1 job and that they'd pay for insurance as long as I was in school and doing well. I covered all gas and maintenance. My sophomore year of college I was in a car accident that totaled that car. My parents gave me the check from the totalled insurance claim to use as a downpayment towards a car that I paid the remainder for.

My 17yo stepson was given a car by his mom with (I think?) similar rules. He, unfortunately, hasn't taken that responsibility very seriously and isn't doing well in school AND has been a big insurance liability for his mom. If he were in our home, he would be paying for his own insurance and expenses going forward after he got two speeding tickets, but alas not my house.

I would hope to be able to help our two younger kids (9 & 7 currently) in a similar way that my parents did. But there will absolutely be strings attached and if they weren't holding up their end of the bargain, they'd be on their own.

[Roc A Bee]

I didn’t get a license til I was an adult.

SD is 16 but doesn’t have a permit yet. Her grandfather died and left a car to her. But there are lots of other expenses, and we aren’t in a hurry to navigate all that with her mom.

[sugarbear1]

I shared a car with my brother but by the time I got my license he was away at college, so it was more or less mine. When we were both home for the summers during college, we had our own cars mainly out of necessity (our dad had moved 45 minutes north from where we were living / working / training during the summers.

These cars were always beaters. I don't think we spent more than $1k on a car (mid 90s) until I graduated from college.

ETA: My eldest is 13 and will be able to walk to school until he graduates. That said, my exH lives 15-20 minutes away and likely will not be in a position to buy another car. My plan is to buy myself a new car within the next year and then let my son drive that. He won't get his license until the beginning of his junior year and at that point, I'll probably just give him the car I will have been driving for 3-4 years at that point.

[circa1978]

Yes, I was given a car; a new turquoise Ford Tempo coupe in what I think was its last model year. And I crashed it - twice - three weeks later, so I don't recommend trusting 16-year-olds with major purchases. The first accident was a fender bender; the second totaled it. I didn't get another car until sophomore year of college (and my parents did buy that one too, because they didn't learn. I didn't crash it though).

I halfway think we'll give DS one of our current cars when he drives but I know he's not getting brand new car.

[devonpow]

Well SS for me - I’ve never had a license and my sister didn’t get hers until she was 25 maybe? So never a debate for us growing up.

DS1 just turned 16 and is thinking about doing drivers Ed this summer (he’s not in a rush). If he gets his license he will share DH’s car. He can get almost everywhere he needs to fo walking or taking the subway, so he doesn’t need a car for real freedom. He would use a car fairly rarely. I guess if he decides to go to college somewhere a car would be beneficial we would debate getting him a car then?

[charlatti]

I didn’t get a license until after I graduated from college. I bought my own first car with my savings and my parents as co-signers. I would not have been given a car, though.

Doubtful that my kid would get a car before college (we are walking distance from school and school friends) but I don’t think we’d give her one outright. Definitely would help with purchasing, though it really depends on a lot of different things.

[glitzy07]

Also, @sameoldstory , I was just telling 17yo SS that I feel bad that his dad and I were in such a different financial position when he was young vs his brothers. We make significantly more money now than we did when he was young, so his brothers absolutely are getting the better end of that deal (sports, ability to eat out more often, etc).

SS didn't really seem phased by it because he is an only child on his mom's side and has mostly gotten what he wanted there. But we sort of hate that he'll remember his mom and (now ex) stepdad as the ones funding all of his fun stuff when my husband was paying child support all along that was funding that lifestyle too in the background.

[wanderingback]

Got a hand me down car from the 80s.

We’ll likely be living in 1 of 2 cities with public transport so a car won’t be necessary (my partner doesn’t have his US license), but if needed would buy a used car.

[gummybear]

I got my license right when I turned 16. I did not get a car until I was 21 - and that was my dad's old beater when he got a new car. No one really got a car when they turned 16 where I lived. It was pretty unheard of. But it was a semi-urban, solidly lower middle class/middle class area with tons of easy access to every sort of public transit you can think of.

Oldest will be 16 soon and she'll get her license as soon as she can. We are deciding what kind of car to get her (new/used etc.) These area is the epitome of suburban sprawl and you need a vehicle to get around. TBH her driving her own car is more of a gift to us than it is to her since it's non-stop taxi service around here and it's EXHAUSTING. She started working at 14 so she has a nice little nest egg and will be able to pay for her gas and insurance.

[CrazyLucky]

No way could my family have bought me a car. My parents let me borrow their cars once in a while. I was very much in the not buying my kids a car camp for a long time. Now I am so damn sick of my life revolving around driving them to and picking them up from their activities that I'm starting to lean toward they can have my car and I'll get myself a new one.

[expectantsteelerfan]

My older brother and I both got our licenses when we were 16, both had jobs already that our parents drove us to/from, and both borrowed our parents car(s) after we were able to drive as we saved up until we got our own cars. We did have an aunt who gifted us a big 16th birthday gift of cash to put towards a car since she knew we were both saving up for one (I think it was $500?). I'm pretty sure I was close to 17 when I bought my 1st car and that it cost around $2000. My dad is a mechanic, and he had wanted me to buy an OLD Buick LaSabre of his friend's that was this big boat of a car that was in great condition and had low miles that I just hated and refused to buy, and I bought a sporty little car that basically needed a new engine and my dad helped me out with, and it only lasted till my 2nd year of college, but I loved that car.

My ds is about to turn 14. Dh and I have talked a bit about what we'll do when he starts driving. I don't think we'll buy him a car outright, but dh's car is getting older and he's getting ready to get a new car (his is a Honda Civic, so nothing fancy), so we might keep that for ds to 'use' to basically have an extra car instead of trading it in. But part of him using it would be that he would also be responsible for taking dd to her activities and stuff, which would be a huge help to me. And he would need to at least get a summer job to pay for gas.

[momin2013]

I drove a shared family car until I got a full-time job and was able to buy my own.

I don't know what we'll do for DS yet - no plans specifically to buy him a car when he gets his license, but if it turns out he needs one because of school/job schedules I imagine we'll look into it.

[wanderlustmom]

When I was growing up, no.  We had four kids, my parents were divorced and my mom could not afford to help us. My dad could but he didn't. So I saved my money and bought a Chevette. 

We have two kids 16 and 18. We bought a used Honda Accord for them to share and we pay for all the gas. They both have part time jobs and use that little money for when they go out with friends or buy food or clothes.  Next year our son is going to college and our daughter will drive it. If he needs to have a car sophomore year in college we will need to think about what to do!  LOL.  Neither kid has enough money for a car right now and we are already paying in state college and room and board for them.  I don't know how parents pay for all of this but I also don't know how kids earn enough money to buy their own car with how busy most are with school and sports commitments.  They play their high school sport every day 

[Deleted]

Got my license at 16 and my parents bought a used car for me (a 1986 silver Plymouth Turismo!) - I had a PT job and we couldn't share family cars because my parents had very different work schedules, and I had to pay them back and pay for the car insurance.

[msmerymac]

I got my license the day after I turned 18, which was in May. That summer, my mom and brother moved, so my dad got me a car (with some of my college money - it was like $4500?) so I could drive to and from work because he sometimes traveled overnight and my grandmother didn't drive. I didn't take it to college with my until junior year, though, since I went to a residential college. He covered my car insurance until I graduated. 

For the second part, it depends. If we have an older car and we're thinking of upgrading at the time, maybe she'll get that. Depends where she goes to high school and college and if we have another kid.

[InBetweenDays]

I got my license at 16 and had access to our family/shared car. I got my own car when I was a sophomore in college.

DD is 16 and she does not have her own car. Although she has pretty much taken over my car.

DH's brother passed away a few years ago and we moved his jeep out here. His estate is still being sorted, but once that is settled that may become DD's car if she gets better at driving a manual.

[meanie]

I did not have a car until college, when I bought a car behind my parent's back so I could drive to work. They were very against me having a car and refused to help in any way.

I was allowed to drive my mom's car once in a while if it wasn't being used, I drove to work and school but that's it.

We will probably have a family car that our kids can use, and help them if they eventually  need their own cars.

[stemmie]

My parents shared their cars with me once I got my license at 16. They paid for gas and insurance with the understanding that I ran many errands including ferrying my sister to her activities. I got my own car at 18 with graduation and babysitting money.

My own kid was 21 when he got his license-- he was in no hurry. He got my old car to drive and then DH's old car when that one died with 275K miles on it.

[gardengal]

Lol @ being given a car.

I got my license at 16.5 or so. I immediately had use of my moms car to drive to work or school things. I had been working awhile & by the time I was 17 I had bought a used car with my mom’s help (I paid sticker price & maybe taxes. She paid other fees & insurance costs which was a huge help).

I will not buy my children a car either. We live in a place with great public transportation, are a 2 car household so we can all share when needed, & they have been saving for future large purchase (like a car) since I started giving them allowance in K.

[rootbeerfloat]

I borrowed my parents' cars. Senior year, I had pretty much full access to one (drove to school, after-school job etc) because my parents carpooled to work. When home from college, I remember having to get up early and drop them off if I wanted the car, which I usually did.

Between my sister and I, we totaled a car. (I crashed it, then a few years later, so did she.) So I also relate to not feeling like my kids are likely to be trustworthy drivers right away. DS (16) has his permit. H will probably get a new car next year, and maybe DS will inherit H's old car, which is as old as DS is.

[cjcouple]

I was given a car ($3k one) but there were unusual circumstances. My mom had passed, my dad worked 12 hour shifts (3 on days, 3 off, 3 on nights, 3 off and repeat) and I got a job. He bought it for me and I paid him $100 a month (went toward college fund) and paid my own insurance and gas.

My sonnis 16 and has not been given a car. I read its best to have them PT driver on your cars for 6 months or so. He also is not working. We did say we would help him get a car if he got a job. He would be responsible for the additional insurance of being a FT driver and the car coverage. I guessing about $200 a month and his own gas. He's not super motivated to work. lol

Ideally, I'd like to get him a car by senior year. We will see if he gets a job.

[ssmjlm]

I got my license when I turned 16 and got a car. It was my dad's old car and was a stick shift, so I got to learn to drive and learn stick shift at the same time. Both parents were over having a manual transmission in DC traffic, so it was passed down to me.

Since I was on the sailing team, I had to drive to downtown annapolis to the sponsoring yacht club and transportation was an issue, so it was nice to be able to drive myself and also cart around my sister as needed.

[thebreakfastclub]

I got my license at 16 but didn't really drive much due to expenses, and enough stuff was walkable that it was OK.
I was finally able to get a used car for my junior year of college.

My son is only 10, but tentatively I'll give him my car in 6 years. It will be 14 years old by then and ready for a second owner.
I think I'll have him pay for half of the insurance and his gas use.

[plutosmoon]

My grandfather bought a car for my college aged sister around when I got my license, I used it 2-3 months until she came up and got it. We then got a third family car around the summer before my senior year in high school. My younger brother was about to start learning to drive and I had a job and a ton of activities. I was expected to make sure my younger brother also got to his activities with this privilege.

When we didn't have the third car, I used my dad's car, he took a vanpool to work so if I wanted to use his car I drove him to his 5:30 am vanpool and picked him up in the evening. The third family car stayed behind for my younger brother when I went to college, he promptly totaled it. My grandfather bought only my sister a new car when she graduated college, so my parents felt they needed to get me and my younger brother reliable cars when we finished as well. I got my dad's few year old commuter car, my brother got my mom's hand me down.

DD is only 10, but my current car will be about 10 years old when she gets her license, I plan to let her use that and get myself something new at that time.

[chedifuen]

I wasn't given a car and was very rarely allowed to drive my parents' car. They only had one and it just wasn't logistically feasible to let me take it often. I bought my own pretty quick.

We bought a second family car recently with the understanding that our 16 year old can use it as his primary vehicle as soon as he gets his licence. He's just about to finish drivers ed and will have his license in June. We're not technically gifting it to him but he will be free to drive it whenever he needs.

We both work from home so our need for a second car is very, very limited. I'll be so happy when he's driving and I don't have to run him around much anymore.