No gifts, please - too late to mention?

[Pilsy]

This is silly, I know. But is it too late to message guests to request no gifts for a Saturday party? Do most people purchase gifts more than five days in advance? 

It slipped my mind when I sent out the invite a couple weeks ago, and now the actual birthday is tomorrow, and wrapping gifts reminded me how desperately I don't want more stuff in the house. 

I don't usually get around to buying birthday gifts for the girls' friends until a couple days before the parties they attend, but I don't know if that's the norm. I already feel mildly rude for requesting no gifts, and I don't want to make it worse by doing so after most people have already purchased something. 

[starburst604]

Hmmm I think it’s cutting it close. When I’m not in home selling/buying mental hell, I usually order a gift as soon as I RSVP for DD to go to a party.

Now I’m running to the local ice cream parlor to grab a gift cert on the way to the party.

[Pilsy]

Apr 24, 2023 20:16:15 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Hmmm I think it’s cutting it close. When I’m not in home selling/buying mental hell, I usually order a gift as soon as I RSVP for DD to go to a party.

Now I’m running to the local ice cream parlor to grab a gift cert on the way to the party.

Yeah, I feel like it's a little late. 

I will probably just leave it alone and work with her to give away some old things so it's a one-in-one-out situation. 

The other thing that's making me anxious is, I feel like so many people around here request no gifts, we look all greedy for accepting them. But whatever. Life is too short to fret over this, amiright?

[Pilsy]

Also, I hope you find a new home soon, starburst604!

[starburst604]

Apr 24, 2023 20:20:22 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

Apr 24, 2023 20:16:15 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Hmmm I think it’s cutting it close. When I’m not in home selling/buying mental hell, I usually order a gift as soon as I RSVP for DD to go to a party.

Now I’m running to the local ice cream parlor to grab a gift cert on the way to the party.

Yeah, I feel like it's a little late. 

I will probably just leave it alone and work with her to give away some old things so it's a one-in-one-out situation. 

The other thing that's making me anxious is, I feel like so many people around here request no gifts, we look all greedy for accepting them. But whatever. Life is too short to fret over this, amiright?

I really wouldn’t worry. I bet people still get gifts when they request none, I know we did the year we requested that. DD seriously hates no gift parties. She’s a gifter and I get it!! I see both sides because I hate clutter but I like to gift! That’s why I try to do largely gift cards as gifts.

[livinitup]

“No gifts” always ends up super awkward anyway because some do and some don’t.

[smock]

Not too late IMO! I never purchase kid birthday gifts that far in advance—or if I do, I’ll get like 5 of the same thing and throw it in the closet to use as gifts, so it would be super simple not to bring one. Actually, I usually have to check the invite again like 3 days before because I forget if they said no gifts.

I’d send an update saying no gifts, please, and expect that some people will do gifts anyways.

[lust2hart]

I don't think it's too late, but I also sit with livinitup that some people don't respect the request anyway.

[k3am]

Apr 24, 2023 20:25:05 GMT -5 livinitup said:

“No gifts” always ends up super awkward anyway because some do and some don’t.

I loathe a no gift kids parties. If I don’t bring anything but a card, inevitably others do and I feel like an ass. If I do bring a gift, I also feel like an ass.

[cmeon]

We had TWO different "no gifts pleeeese!" parties OPEN GIFTS DURING THE FUCKING PARTY. I was the asshole that brought the gift forever more.

[k3am]

Apr 25, 2023 18:15:42 GMT -5 cmeon said:

We had TWO different "no gifts pleeeese!" parties OPEN GIFTS DURING THE FUCKING PARTY. I was the asshole that brought the gift forever more.

We must have gone to the same parties. I am forever scarred.

[meli554]

I have nothing to add other than my 7 year old recently was getting ready to go to a friends party and said “We didn’t get him a gift!” I said “That’s ok, his mom said no gifts on the invite.” She looked appalled and ran to get her wallet and stuffed $11 into her homemade card 😂

[waverly]

I'm 2 days late to this, but I voted not too late.

I did attend a party where they said no gifts but it was for a 1 year old. And family members/ closer people to them gave gifts and we did not. I gave zero F's about it since they were DH's friends from college and I had never met them before. They didn't shout out to people, so it wasn't like everyone brought something and we didn't and everyone knew and stared at us. It was all very casual. And they even opened gifts.

But at a specific gift giving event where I knew them and we are close/ we are all exchanging, I would have felt mortified. But at those, then I don't feel bad and just give a card. We get so much stuff from large birthday parties anyway, but I had never felt that the kids would be OK with no gifts, so I've never specified that. But I would have loved to if my kids wouldn't have complained about it.

[litskispeciality]

I'm late as well. We just had this happen where the original (text) invite said no gifts, and the (text) reminder, but we still send small gift because the child is 2 and everyone could use a card and cash. I don't think n event reminder with something like no gifts needed is perfect, then you save the last min shoppers (me) a trip, lol.

Hope the party goes well!

[madringal]

If you do no gifts, then for the love, please no favors. Just like you want no more toys, no parents wants another goodie bag of crap/candy/etc. Goody bags are the literal worst.