Post by UMaineTeach on May 26, 2023 19:08:16 GMT -5
We have had to send food for two years. It sucks. They said “rather than raise prices, we are cutting all food” The extra whatever a week would have been worth it.
When we first started having to send food they gave us a booklet of ideas and a laminated checklist for each meal’s recommended components, based mostly on school lunch/government reimbursement standards. I do actually use the checklist with a dry erase marker, just to keep things straight, but the booklet was full of pricey and judgmental dos/don’ts I think they get zero say. I would not even mention the doctor or personal preferences. I would just say, I send her with the food I want her to eat. If she’s hungry there are extra snacks in her bag.
We did used to have to record on a white board the morning details when she was NB-12 months (then Covid…so), that doesn’t seem unusual.
Oh, sure. This would be a good time to request a talk with the director to say that the communication is at worst poor and at best inconsistent and confusing.
I would be interested to know if the note-writer was working with a nutritional plan or had some kind of guide. I would give some grace to someone who was genuinely interested/educated on baby nutrition and being encouraged to provide recommendations and feedback to parents. That can be a good thing. But her communication skills would definitely need huge improvements!
Post by mysteriouswife on May 26, 2023 19:24:43 GMT -5
My son didn’t eat meat until he was 6. And still is mostly vegetarian by choice. He regularly gets poptarts in his lunch. We had a parent volunteer send a note home about not eating sweets before the actual lunch. My ass was at the school that morning with a note from the pediatrician and OT reminding them of his medical history. I was not kind when I told them under no circumstances should an adult ever comment on what another person is eating or how.
And what is with people not understanding animal proteins aren’t our only source of nutritional protein
Post by emilyinchile on May 26, 2023 19:27:39 GMT -5
I'd be mad and having a conversation about it tomorrow. You sent a balanced meal. Even without the protein pouch (I don't know what that is), you have protein, fat, carbs, fruit and veggies. That's a meal, end of story. Hell, you've even got plant iron and a vitamin C source to help with absorption - you're crushing it!
If the conversation went well and involved an "oops sorry, didn't mean a bad tone with the all caps, here's the reasonable excuse for why I forgot that you've already tried sending meat" then I'd be ok, but if you get any attitude or feeling that they aren't remembering that hello, she doesn't eat turkey then yeah I'd look elsewhere. It's important to me to feel like daycare a) knows about child nutrition, b) is part of our overall team and c) actually knows my kid, and this interaction doesn't make me feel that way.
Post by purplepenguin7 on May 26, 2023 19:30:10 GMT -5
We had to provide food for my daughter’s first 3 years (6mo-3yr ish). She also didn’t really eat meat. Daycare never once commented on her food options. She had Mac n cheese with broccoli pretty much 3 days a week.
Post by usuallylurking on May 26, 2023 19:49:32 GMT -5
I’d be as annoyed as you are, and to the point of letting it bug me enough to consider finding different care arrangements. But I also know finding good childcare can be really difficult!
I don’t think you’re wrong at all. Are they unaware that protein exists in non-meat forms? Is that the actual problem…they don’t think you’re sending protein? I’m guessing they don’t like the pouch because they have to facilitate feeding vs just putting stuff on the tray/plate for her to feed herself. I also wonder if a pouch “doesn’t count” in some way for their nutritional guidelines? Idk. That’s a weird hang up on their part. “Nu doesn’t like protein in your suggested forms. Until you have a different idea that she may consume, we are going to continue to send a pouch for a balanced diet, as advised by our pediatrician. We are unaware of any allergies if you would like to experiment with offering other protein options, you have our permission to do so. If so, please communicate with us what is offered and if it is consumed.”
Until children are eating solids (not purée “solids” but solid-solids), I do require parents to provide foods. However, I would never ridicule their food choices, and I even allow them to bring a stash and just let them know if we’re running low on fruit/veg options. Heck! I had a mom send a spoonful of nut butter in a 4 oz mason jar and say “please just mix in oatmeal!” because keeping baby oatmeal on hand is something I always had. She thought she was a failure and too busy that she didn’t something “better” and felt guilty- I thought she was brilliant and told her so! Reassuring parents is a part of my job, and it makes me feel good to do so. This place should be doing the same.
Also 18 months seems so old to still be sending in paperwork about their nightly sleep and changing routine. I’m doubly annoyed for you. 😂
Post by Velar Fricative on May 26, 2023 20:11:27 GMT -5
That is nuts!
We aren’t even trying to raise vegetarian kids but the only meat my kids eat are chicken nuggets. They’re 9.5 and 6 and still refuse other kid-friendly meats like burgers. They’re still growing. I feel like meat aversions are pretty common with kids anyway, so this daycare is weird.
Post by fancynewbeesly on May 26, 2023 21:11:37 GMT -5
DD is in pre k and I think in the beginning of the year they sent a list of ALL different suggestions: column for fruit, column for protein, column vegetables. I want to say they encourage meals to be balanced and they have to have one healthy snack in their lunch a day. Typically DD goes with either soup or PB&J, (depending on who is on lunch duty me or DH), a fruit/vegetable and a granola bar or yogurt or something. They have never critiqued us.
As a non meat eating kid, sage used to eat only humus as his form of protein for awhile. (Well, other things but that was his lunch protein)
The only complaint I ever got was “that’s so garlicky” lol
DS lives on hummus. I notice when he’s gone a few days without it. He looks more lean and not as active. There are days when he’s super active he can eat a tub.
I’m sorry. Your lunch sounds completely appropriate and their comment was rude.
My son has been a picky eater practically since birth and I felt so judged by the infant room staff when I kept sending formula and soft purées, but he would gag and refuse anything else. I remember leaving the center in tears one evening and finally told them to have at it. Funny enough, they shut up after failing to get him to eat the infant room food or even mixed purées. Ten years later and it still makes me mad. Team you.
I’m sorry. Your lunch sounds completely appropriate and their comment was rude.
My son has been a picky eater practically since birth and I felt so judged by the infant room staff when I kept sending formula and soft purées, but he would gag and refuse anything else. I remember leaving the center in tears one evening and finally told them to have at it. Funny enough, they shut up after failing to get him to eat the infant room food or even mixed purées. Ten years later and it still makes me mad. Team you.
I would write back on the sheet unfortunately DD refuses to eat meat.
How old is she? Given the age they may want to transition off pouches but that still doesn’t have to be meat.
Our daycare provided food once they were on table food. I wouldn’t transition off the daycare for this but if they continue to communicate aggressively you can meet with the director.
Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I remember being so anxious reading the sheets they sent home.
We had to provide lunches when DD was in daycare and even now she prefers I pack a lunch. I do agree it’s likely a funding thing. Our district sends out periodic emails about balanced lunches and they always rub me the wrong way for some reason but I do think it’s like a mandated thing.
This too shall pass. My kiddo is more adventurous with food now but her lunch is the same every day - uncrustable, yogurt tube or cup, chips, some fruit. You reach a point that you just want them to eat!!
My son didn’t eat meat until he was 6. And still is mostly vegetarian by choice. He regularly gets poptarts in his lunch. We had a parent volunteer send a note home about not eating sweets before the actual lunch. My ass was at the school that morning with a note from the pediatrician and OT reminding them of his medical history. I was not kind when I told them under no circumstances should an adult ever comment on what another person is eating or how.
My autistic DS(7) struggles with feeding challenges. One of the first things I talk about with his teachers is that his food might not be "normal" lunch time food because our goal is weight gain and growth (because failure to thrive is our concern) so I send what I know he will eat. The only push back has been from other kids. His teacher has shut it down quickly, thankfully.
This could very well be an issue of mess, to rather than perceived nutritional value.
My daycare (BYO food) doesn't allow yoghurt pouches or jam, because of mess. Nevermind if the kid is 5 years old and perfectly capable of not causing a mess.
(I don't live in the USA so the cultural attachment to jam isn't there. They've never commented on my peanut butter-only sandwiches, which is nice.)
My son didn’t eat meat until he was 6. And still is mostly vegetarian by choice. He regularly gets poptarts in his lunch. We had a parent volunteer send a note home about not eating sweets before the actual lunch. My ass was at the school that morning with a note from the pediatrician and OT reminding them of his medical history. I was not kind when I told them under no circumstances should an adult ever comment on what another person is eating or how.
My autistic DS(7) struggles with feeding challenges. One of the first things I talk about with his teachers is that his food might not be "normal" lunch time food because our goal is weight gain and growth (because failure to thrive is our concern) so I send what I know he will eat. The only push back has been from other kids. His teacher has shut it down quickly, thankfully.
Same with my DS. He is the smallest boy in his grade and only has one or two girls smaller than him. He still hasn’t broken 50 pounds consistently. If I can get him to eat a poptart I’m winning that day.
Post by arehopsveggies on May 27, 2023 10:00:12 GMT -5
My son only went to daycare for about half a year and then we moved and I took some time off
But those months were a constant battle about food. It was exhausting. They would tell me something and say licensing required it. But my job at the time involved researching the licensing stuff for a preschool at my school, so I knew the rules like the back of my hand at that point. So I did a lot of printing out the rules, highlighting sections etc. They didn’t like me by the time I left.
They were always insisting he had to have their food before breast milk. So they’d fill him up on goldfish crackers and he wouldn’t have room for milk. Infuriating. All these years later I still get annoyed.
Maybe this is Ike an NYC thing? It’s mind boggling that I pay this kind of money and don’t get any food or milk.
I don't hear of many daycares in NJ providing meals. Our friends in Larchmont raved about theirs that did provide it. The 2 daycares my kids attended had external lunch programs you could pay for but the daycare that DS still attends now scrapped that during COVID.
When DS was in the infant and young toddler rooms, I did experiment with sending in things he didn't necessarily eat at home. Sometimes peer pressure and the daycare teachers are the right environment babies need to put that unfamiliar thing in their mouths and decide they like it. Sometimes at pickup they'd tell me how DS was trying to grab some of his lunch neighbor's cheese cubes or whatever so I could think about trying a similar food for him. Maybe that's why they're sending you the annoying notices. I get it, I would be annoyed too. But your post reminded me that I used to do this. Because at least in the infant and young toddler rooms, if he didn't eat it, he'd still be allowed to have his fill of formula and/or milk.
By the time he was 3, he got into a routine of what he takes for lunch and we hardly waiver from it. I am definitely annoyed at having to make hot lunch every.single.morning because his routine lunches are not amenable to making them the night before. But it is what it is.
Post by killercupcake on May 27, 2023 10:35:46 GMT -5
Nope. The only time anyone has said anything to us about food was when DD was like a year and a half and we kept sending cucumbers she wasn’t eating. They just let us know she hated them. Lol other than that, zero critiques. And I’d be so pissed if I were you.
Post by wanderingback on May 27, 2023 11:58:46 GMT -5
All those commenting that it might be a mandated thing, this situation doesn’t seem like that. It’s mandated that they say not to send pouches? If it’s mandated to give nutritional advice then they can just put a generic handout in every child’s bag and leave it at that. Plus OPs meal did have protein (cheese, avocado) in it.
All those commenting that it might be a mandated thing, this situation doesn’t seem like that. It’s mandated that they say not to send pouches? If it’s mandated to give nutritional advice then they can just put a generic handout in every child’s bag and leave it at that. Plus OPs meal did have protein (cheese, avocado) in it.
they allow her to have pouches for a snack, so I’m not sure what difference it makes between snack and lunch time!
"Are you asking me not to send pouches because they are not allowed at daycare? Or because you have concerns over the food we send in? If it's the former, we apologize for not knowing that rule and will refrain from now on. If it's the latter, the pouches fulfill her protein nutrition requirement and were advised by our pediatrician due to child's refusal to eat any meats as a protein source. Please let me know if you have any questions."
Having four kids in what feels like every daycare/preschool in town over the last 10 years - I agree with the PP who said WTF.
The larger daycares we’ve gone to have never provided full meals. The in home we’ve used for our infants includes lunch and we send snacks.
I think it’s totally fine to get some communication around what your kid did or didn’t eat or the amount of food. But being told not to send pouches? Or to send in meat? That’s ridiculous. We are meat eaters but have never sent meat in school lunches. My toddler and preschooler both have an applesauce pouch in their lunch everyday.
Post by thedutchgirl on May 29, 2023 14:23:43 GMT -5
We have a sheet but thank god our daycare provides food. It’s one of my favorite things about it! I only have to think of one meal a day during the week for the little monster
I’d be so annoyed and honestly think they are a little dumb and assuming only meat has protein. Because I like to be petty in these situations, I’d just tell them she’s a vegetarian so no meat will be forthcoming