@@@daycare question@@

[Jalapeñomel]

I gotta know if this is common or what.

My daycare asks us to send in a sheet with her wake up time, last diaper change, etc, and then they send it home at night with things she may need for the next day.

On more than one occasion, they’ve sent a note home critiquing the food we are sending in (we have to provide all meals until she moves to the toddler room). Today, they sent a note saying that we need to “send in a protein, NOT A POUCH!!” and referred to a list of foods the provider in her room sent a month or so ago (everything on the list was meat: chicken nuggets, pizza?, ham, etc).

Now, Nu won’t eat any meat, and we’ve tried. The doc said that was fine, just make sure she’s eating cheese and/or some veggie protein. Sometimes Nu will eat beans, but more often than not, she won’t. So hence the pouches.

For reference, today’s lunch was 1/2 avocado, banana, strawberries, peas, cheese, and a protein pouch.

Is it reasonable for them to critique our food choices? We pay a ton monthly for care, and it seems to me that we should be the keeper of what she eats if we have to provide food, but maybe I’m completely wrong. When D was little, his daycare did all his meals.

Does your daycare send a note home like this?

[Roc A Bee]

Ok I don’t have experience with this but I would be super annoyed.

[goldengirlz]

We’re way past the daycare age, but no, not once. And my kid was in three different daycares.

[wanderingback]

Haven’t started daycare yet and we’ll also have to provide food even though we’re paying so much damn money ugh and I would not be ok with them telling me what I need to send. WTF. Even if you sent "junk" everyday that’s too bad since they’re not providing the food.

[deadwing]

Not a parent. You are sending fruits, vegetables and protein. What could they possibly have against that?! It sounds like a nutritious lunch. I would see the concern if you were sending in a bag of chips and a pudding cup...

[candreco]

No, I don't think it's reasonable. I'd tell them that the pediatrician is fine with her diet and you'd prefer that they not comment. They're not providing it, why would they get a say?

[underwaterrhymes]

This would piss me off. We never had a daycare or school critique what we sent in.

[mala]

I'd be irritated. I'd silmly follow up with "we are providing food in accordace with our pediatricians guidlines to meet LOs nutrition requirements" and leave it at that for now.

[konapoppy]

How old is your child? I can’t remember.

Yes, I would be annoyed at the message and how it is being communicated. Is your kid hungry? Is that the issue? Maybe it is a volume thing too.

[Jalapeñomel]

May 26, 2023 16:50:00 GMT -5 mpm said:

1. Omg to a daycare that makes you send in your own food. Ours that provided all meals was worth every penny it saved in our sanity.

2. Daycare magic is a thing. My kids who never napped at home? They napped at daycare. They ate things at daycare they never would have even touched at home. Send some leftover chicken or hummus and let them do their magic.

3. Unless there’s a weight or growth issue, I’m also more concerned about exposure to a variety of foods than actual intake.

I’d also be annoyed by a note though. You’re doing great just to get out of that house in one piece at that age. GTFO with a daycare that both doesn’t provide meals but also tries to dictate a specific menu.

Oh we’ve sent in all kinds of food, and we’ve gotten notes home that say, “Nu won’t eat the turkey, please send something else.” Numerous times.

She eats tons of food just not meat or beans. Lol

[Jalapeñomel]

May 26, 2023 17:00:20 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

How old is your child? I can’t remember.

Yes, I would be annoyed at the message and how it is being communicated. Is your kid hungry? Is that the issue? Maybe it is a volume thing too.

We’ve gotten that note too that she wants more food, and then the next day gotten a note that says we’re putting too much food in there.

Keep in mind that we also send in snacks, so she has tons of punches, puffs, crackers, animal crackers some if she needs more to eat, there’s always more.

She’s 18 months.

[smock]

As a parent raising vegetarian kids, I'd be annoyed by the only protein suggestions being meat. It sounds like whoever's writing the notes is on some kind of power trip. I'd send a note back tomorrow saying you've discussed your kid's diet with their pediatrician and the daycare needs to politely back off.

[Jalapeñomel]

May 26, 2023 16:52:57 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Haven’t started daycare yet and we’ll also have to provide food even though we’re paying so much damn money ugh and I would not be ok with them telling me what I need to send. WTF. Even if you sent "junk" everyday that’s too bad since they’re not providing the food.

Maybe this is Ike an NYC thing? It’s mind boggling that I pay this kind of money and don’t get any food or milk.

She is moving up in two weeks and they do toddler food thank god.

But this has really left a sour taste and I’m thinking of moving her, I’m so annoyed.

[Jalapeñomel]

May 26, 2023 17:05:17 GMT -5 smock said:

As a parent raising vegetarian kids, I'd be annoyed by the only protein suggestions being meat. It sounds like whoever's writing the notes is on some kind of power trip. I'd send a note back tomorrow saying you've discussed your kid's diet with their pediatrician and the daycare needs to politely back off.

Right?! We can’t be the first person at daycare raising a veg, come on. It’s ridiculous.

Ok thanks for making me not feel crazy!

[chickadee77]

Ours did that, but usually more as a, "L didn't eat x, but loved y." Or, "Take a break from sending z, as she hasn't been eating it the past five or so times. We can try again later!" This was in infant room, where we had to send foods, and they would try different foods from the older classrooms if there were leftovers. In the 1yo room and beyond, it was just "No chips or sweets. Oh, and she won't touch tuna salad, so you may want to pack a lunch or send extra snack on those days."

[pixy0stix]

Never not once, but also daycare provided his food once he started eating solids.

[wanderingback]

May 26, 2023 17:06:30 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

May 26, 2023 16:52:57 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Haven’t started daycare yet and we’ll also have to provide food even though we’re paying so much damn money ugh and I would not be ok with them telling me what I need to send. WTF. Even if you sent "junk" everyday that’s too bad since they’re not providing the food.

Maybe this is Ike an NYC thing? It’s mind boggling that I pay this kind of money and don’t get any food or milk.

She is moving up in two weeks and they do toddler food thank god.

But this has really left a sour taste and I’m thinking of moving her, I’m so annoyed.

Ugh, maybe.
We toured 3 regular daycares and 1 family daycare and only the family daycare provided food. If only this $3100 paid for food, diapers and wipes! I would not be happy with any kind of critique. If they notice a health problem they can mention that.

[blondemoment123]

I would definitely be annoyed.

[k3am]

Ours never once questioned our food choices sent in.

[starburst604]

Wtf? I’d be seriously angered by the food critique and I think I’d say or send an e-mail saying that as long as I’m providing all my kid’s food I will provide the foods of my choice and that I don’t want to hear about it ever again. What if a family is vegetarian? And no, we never had to send in a sheet detailing wake-up times. When she was in the infant/young toddler rooms we’d obviously sometimes talk to the teacher at drop off like “she woke up super early today so might be cranky”. It seems like such a waste to tell them when a diaper was put on. If you’re coming in at the start of the workday obviously the kid got a fresh diaper at wake-up or right before drop off. It’s not like there’s a several hour gap opportunity there!

Our daycare provided all food and diaper wipes. It was worth every penny we paid. We didn’t even have to make her bottles, I could leave the formula and bottles there and they would run the bottles through the dishwasher.

[gretchenindisguise]

No. They did not critique our food, and we didn’t always send the best food. We just did the best we could.

[Jalapeñomel]

May 26, 2023 17:56:07 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

No. They did not critique our food, and we didn’t always send the best food. We just did the best we could.

Afuckingmen

[sproctopus]

That's wild to collect your money and critique your food choices. Absolutely not, no thank you.

[joy]

Thanks for your input, daycare, but kindly keep your comments to yourself.

No. Our daycare never critiqued our food choices. Ever.

[joy]

No, no. All their commenting on too much or too little or won’t eat/send something else is way too much for me.

Our daycare also provided nothing - I gave all food, diapers, wipes, etc.

[al dente]

They seem very...controlling? I don't think that's the right word, but the sheet telling last diaper change and wake up time daily is kind of wild. Like what difference does it make? Kid is there for the day and you're changing diapers regularly either way.

Anyways for the food... I *think* there is some sort of USDA or licensing thing around food and kids meals needing to hit certain criteria. But your lunch sounds like it's hitting everything, so they're just being real obnoxious. I would say something to the director.
Also in general people are so weird around food, it would drive me crazy if daycare was commenting on what my kid ate.

[rhian]

Ours has never told us what to send. They did request that we send more solids when he was 6-7 months old and refusing bottles, but we wanted them to prioritize trying the breastmilk, so we just ignored them and did what we wanted, and they stopped mentioning it after a few days. Unless you think they'll refuse to feed what you send, I'd probably do the same in your situation.

[Susie]

Oh hell no.

I've been a daycare parent for about 7 years now, and only did a brief stint having to send in food, when our old daycare was between vendors.  They were really strict about it being free of allergens that varied by classroom, but they didn't comment at all on the content of what we sent.  I would have been deeply annoyed if they had.

I understand when they are strict about certain things.  Both daycares we've attended have required doctors' notes for our kids to get whole milk (vs. skim) past the age of about 2, because there's an issue with certain federal funding that both centers get.  They have to maintain compliance with all the federal guidelines, including anti-obesity stuff, even though it seems dumb to require a doctor's note for a rail thin kid to get milk that isn't skim.  But I digress.  The food you send from home?  There wouldn't be any funding tied to that for them to lose if certain rules/standards (even ridiculous/arbitrary ones) aren't being met, so I don't see where their business comes in.

[Jalapeñomel]

Ok y’all are making me feel better.

I don’t think I’m a high maintenance parent, so I usually take these notes with a grain of salt, but this one seemed so rude and like a direct comment on how we parent!

[ckay]

I’m a teacher and before that I worked in daycare for years and they need to stfu. The lunch you sent sounds perfect for your kid. Like, if you sent in a lunch of chocolate cake and a bag of chips, I could see them commenting lol. But no. That is ridiculous.