Post by pinkdutchtulips on Jun 1, 2023 12:53:42 GMT -5
If you've been following my saga with Miss R she fits into this category. I love her but I don't like her. Its HARD when its your child and you feel this way. She's constantly mean, angry, irritable, disrespectful, and just unpleasant to be around. She wants nothing to do with me unless its to buy something or get a ride then turns around and says i'm this awful parent who doesn't care bc i don't do anything with her?!? It's incredibly frustrating.
The sad part is that I really WANT to like her and be around her but w her behavior, attitude, and defiance issues it's very difficult.
I actually like most of the people I'm related to, but I don't really love that many people. My kids, my H, my mom, my brother and his family, my two best friends, and my two exes (though both of these live more than 1K miles from me, so that's more love as an abstract idea based on past good times). Everyone else is nice, but I can live without them.
Yes and It makes me sad. I can truly say I hate my younger sister these days because she has turned into such an awful human being to me, my parents and certain other family members yet kisses other people's asses. A few weeks ago her husband confided in me that he is very close to leaving her and it made me cry. Thinking of her going thru a divorce breaks my heart.
so that reaction assured me that I still love her but can't stand to be around her right now.
I don’t have anyone in my life that I feel like that about.
But my mom used to say me when I was a teenager ‘I love you but I don’t like you very much right now’.
Yup. I mean, I love my kids and H, but sometimes they pull shenanigans that make me not like them one bit in the moment.
So. I guess to me, "love" is like a long-term underlying emotion, whereas "like" is a bit more fickle. However, I have had relationships where love has been obliterated by too much dislike, if that makes sense. I mean, if I repeatedly dislike a person, love can't grow there, KWIM? So for me, I can absolutely love someone I don't always like, but if I don't like you much or at all, I won't love you.
I'm an ISTJ and my H is an INTJ. I'm very familiar with us introverted-thinker-judgers and I don't love anyone out of obligation, regardless if they're related or not.
Post by basilosaurus on Jun 2, 2023 3:48:06 GMT -5
I think my sister and I would have for in this category. I didn't *dis*like her. She was very likeable, far more than I as my dad kept reminding me the few days I saw him surrounding the funeral. But we're vastly different people who had very little in common.
No, I don't give a shit about pto or anything kid related. She couldn't have cared less about my rants on trump/gqp and preferred her magat friends over me. She and I weren't close growing up but made attempts as adults. Sadly it never stuck.
Now my "mom" (legally yes since age 11, blood no heart no) and I, nah. She's nothing to me. Ain't nobody got time for that. She's simply dad's wife. In the past decade+ I've heard her voice only a few times, and it was too say incredibly nasty hurtful things. She couldn't even be assed to return a hello at my gramma's funeral. Now that was my real mom. I felt so much lighter when I stopped caring to have even a semblance of a relationship. To my dad that's proud of my failure. To me it's proof of my success. I do feel badly that it hurts him, but, oh well.
I find it very hard (pretty much impossible) to love someone I don't actually like. For example, I haven't spoken to my father in almost 6 years. I don't like him, he's a cheater and just all around a not great person. I also don't love him. IDK if it's something wrong in me, but I can't muster up love for someone who I actively dislike, even if he is my father. Same goes for my brother and my ILs. There is definitely no, I love you but don't like you going on with me.
This is something I've struggled with, especially when I was younger. The older I get, the less fucks I give.
I kind of think this sums up family, especially extended family.
I also feel strange about people that EVERYONE seems to think is the best thing ever and they annoy the ever loving fuck out of me.
I also feel this way about some people and I think maybe I'm broken or something?? Like everyone thinks this person is the best ever and I'm over here being suspicious of their niceness