Guys, I don't know why there is the assumption they are hiring a licensed bartender... The OP just says bartender. High school kids are probably drinking beer and basic mixers, you don't need a license or experience to pour those. I am sure they are just hiring someone who agrees to pour drinks, not a professional.
I don’t know where you’d find them either tbh. Is it one of their rich adult friends? A random college student? A babysitter looking for cash? How do you approach that? Hi, do you want to commit a crime for a few bucks?
Finding a real (but morally flexible) bartender at some event who is willing to work off the books seems almost easier.
Post by definitelyO on Jun 4, 2023 20:38:04 GMT -5
did not read all the responses - but NO, this is not how HS parties are by us.
usually the kids have someone buy alcohol for them and they drink at someone else's house. Sometimes the parent is home and aware, or home and unaware, or not home. it really varies. But so far (DS is going to be a senior) no parents have supplied alcohol
Ditto Leeham Rimes. I can’t imagine a licensed bartender agreeing to do something like this.
I know a fair number of wealthy Silicon Valley people, including those who have high schoolers at those $50k/year private schools like Nueva and Crystal Springs, and all of them are normal, responsible parents. Not the kind of “responsible” parents who hire unlicensed bartenders to serve teenagers alcohol.
I just … doubt this is A Thing.
ETA: I’m not saying this has never happened. But de rigueur? Parties like this every weekend? No way.
lol, no one said anything about a licensed bartender. I’m sure it’s just someone they pay to pour some drinks and keep an eye on the fridge/cooler.
Post by wanderingback on Jun 4, 2023 21:00:20 GMT -5
Also, I think another thing that should be normalized is not drinking.
To be honest, I learned a lot about families and drinking from posts on here. People complaining about dry events on here, etc. I have a lot of family members that don’t drink alcohol (not due to being sober or anything), so going to a family dinner and there not being alcohol is also very normal to me. My dad doesn’t drink. When my parents were married he would occasionally take a sip of champagne on NYE. Then, at my wedding I did ask him to do a shot with me and he did. But otherwise I’ve never seen my dad drink a full glass of anything and that’s ok. He said he got drunk once and didn’t enjoy it so hasn’t drank since then.
I think that’s ok too and should also be brought in to the discussion regarding healthy behaviors and choices.
Ditto Leeham Rimes. I can’t imagine a licensed bartender agreeing to do something like this.
I know a fair number of wealthy Silicon Valley people, including those who have high schoolers at those $50k/year private schools like Nueva and Crystal Springs, and all of them are normal, responsible parents. Not the kind of “responsible” parents who hire unlicensed bartenders to serve teenagers alcohol.
I just … doubt this is A Thing.
ETA: I’m not saying this has never happened. But de rigueur? Parties like this every weekend? No way.
lol, no one said anything about a licensed bartender. I’m sure it’s just someone they pay to pour some drinks and keep an eye on the fridge/cooler.
I mean, that IS the implication in the OP when she said “hired a bartender.” But basically, yeah, that’s my point. All these little details don’t really add up once you put in all the caveats and asterisks and oh yeah, that’s not really how it went down. Maybe they hire someone to stand in front of the bar and make mocktails with the end result being that the person kind of looks the other way and the kids end up drinking anyway. But that’s not quite the same thing as saying “they hire a bartender to serve the kids as much booze as they want or until this person decides to cut them off.” Maybe you’re right that it’s some Joe Schmo who’s basically pouring amaretto sours all right (because teens have horrible taste in mixed drinks). Somehow that seems like an even MORE preposterously bad idea though. (Like at that point, why not let the kids just serve themselves?) So I’m taking it all with a grain of salt.
ETA: I’m really not trying to dig in on this ridiculous topic! I think we can all agree that rich people are the absolute worst and so are their entitled children. I’m definitely NOT trying to be like, oh, no, rich people are too upstanding to do anything like this! I’m more amused than anything because this seems like some urban legend that no one has actually seen firsthand (at most people are saying it seems plausible. Because rich people.)
That's an awful (recent) story about a teen party with alcohol (and parents facing charges)- a kid ended up stabbed to death.
It's a lot more common to have parents providing alcohol for a teen party than you'd think- definitely important to know where your kids are, keep a line of communication healthy and open, and make sure they know your expectations (and why you have them).
Post by basilosaurus on Jun 5, 2023 4:51:19 GMT -5
This happened with students from a wealthy school in my hometown. We did discuss it on here at the time. Mostly about the parents' laughable claim they had no idea there were hundreds of kids partying in their yard.
My dad said he'd open his liquor cabinet (for lack of better word. It was a single shelf in a small pantry) and drink with me if I wanted to know what being drunk is like. Drinking alone with dad on a Friday night at home was plenty of deterrent. Once I went to college he would serve me wine with dinner, including my 2 closest friends, but otherwise he was pretty strict. A half glass champagne nye maybe. And I was always allowed a sip to taste, even as a young child. Again, that was quite the deterrent. He thought our disgusted faces at beer were hilarious.
I've never heard of a beach week. No need for one when you grow up in fort Lauderdale I guess. I have a vague recollection of hearing about frat weekends in places like Destin in college, but that was far from my world. This is a thing for high schoolers? Ft laud actually got fairly strict in the late 90s, requiring clubs to be 21+ to get away from the fort liquordale spring break reputation. Sure there were still places but the a1a strip got rid of the wet t shirt contests and ladies drink free/cheap nights and brought in fancy overpriced hotel bars.
My daughter is heading into HS and my reaction is hell to the no. I’m not naive that parties happen and even under age drinking, but I won’t be condoning it. We have these talks already about not drinking and driving, not getting into a car with anyone who has been drinking, and that we will pick her up anytime (no questions asked), so she’s safe.
This was exactly the way I handled the issue with my sons when they were growing up. I didn't condone but I made it clear that if they call me I will drive the entire damn party home if it means no one is drinking and driving, no questions asked. I drilled it into their heads so hard my kids are now 20 and 23 and I have received calls from both of them well out of high school because their DD's flaked on them. I am so grateful that is one less thing I have to worry about.
I am the high school counselor at a wealthy PK-12 independent school (and my kids attend the school). So we socialize with many wealthy families. I have never heard of families hiring bartenders and security. I would doubt that any bartenders or security would put themselves in that position to serve minors. What is more common is "head in the sand" kind of parenting where they go on vacation and take no precautions. Kids have access to a lot of cash, no supervision, and large "party houses". We live in a coastal community so there is a lot of boating and drinking which is extremely scary. You can get a boating license at 14 and many of my students have access to large boats, jet skis, etc. They take their boats, beach them, and drink all day away from parent supervision.
we had a mom charged locally for this, well this and other crimes. i searched for the new article and didn't realize that the mom died mysteriously before any trial.
Post by cattledogkisses on Jun 5, 2023 10:19:48 GMT -5
Also, I think it's one thing if you want to supervise your own child's introduction to alcohol.
But under no circumstances would I ever host anyone else's children and provide alcohol to them. Never never never. It boggles my mind that anyone would think that's a good idea.
Post by jeaniebueller on Jun 5, 2023 10:30:16 GMT -5
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
there is a lot of drinking, a lot of vaping, and a lot of pot. The biggest difference around here is they tend to hang out outside/in parks to do it which I find so weird.
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
Yup - 30 college students (UMASS) were taken via ambulance to the hospital for drinking "borgs" over st patty's day weekend. they were naming them and drawing faces and them. Its definitely out there and still an issue.
A borg, or “black out rage gallon”, typically contains a fifth of vodka, water, and liquid flavor enhancer. Borg drinking is popular among some college students, but consumption of the high amounts of alcohol often found in borgs can cause harmful health effects, similar to those resulting from heavy alcohol use or binge drinking.
If you look at tiktok and do a search - you'll see why the hype. Often bright colored and the mixers hide the alcohol I believe. I defintiely spoke with my kids about that one.
Post by InBetweenDays on Jun 5, 2023 11:28:36 GMT -5
Vaping/weed definitely seems to be more popular around here than drinking. And I think it's because it can be done more discretely. Kids vape in the school bathrooms, on the bus, IN CLASS (according to DS), in their bedrooms and parents and school staff generally don't know because it doesn't really smell. And the vape pens are easy to hide. But there is still drinking going on. There was a girl at DS' middle school recently who got alcohol poisoning from drinking 6 shots of something before school.
Vaping/weed definitely seems to be more popular around here than drinking. And I think it's because it can be done more discretely. Kids vape in the school bathrooms, on the bus, IN CLASS (according to DS), in their bedrooms and parents and school staff generally don't know because it doesn't really smell. And the vape pens are easy to hide. But there is still drinking going on. There was a girl at DS' middle school recently who got alcohol poisoning from drinking 6 shots of something before school.
This is basically what my son has told me. It is very easy to carry around/ hide a vape pen and a few cartridges. It's not so easy to carry around a case of beer.
He was offered a weed cookie last week in school like it was the most normal thing in the world.
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
Around here weed and vaping seem more popular than drinking. There are definitely parties and drinking but it’s not as prevalent as when we were in high school. My older two (19 and 16) don’t drink and not many of their friends do, either.
waverly, I'm one of the last 4 people on earth that doesn't listen to podcasts. Even when I try to listen to stuff that should fascinate me, I can't listen.
waverly, I'm one of the last 4 people on earth that doesn't listen to podcasts. Even when I try to listen to stuff that should fascinate me, I can't listen.
That’s too bad because she answers a lot of your questions maybe there is a transcript.
piggybacking off of Wanderingback's comments, do a lot of kids drink anymore? It feels like drinking is like a 70s/80s/90s thing for kids. IDK at least the high schoolers/college kids that i know are much more responsible than I was at that age and none of them really party.
They still drink, and now they smoke a lot of weed and vape. Weeeee!!
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”