Post by sandandsea on Jun 16, 2023 15:13:27 GMT -5
Ds got a phone for his 11th bday so he takes his phone with him and it makes it a lot easier for us. He doesn’t care about texting and uses his iPad at home for FaceTiming and discord with friends while they play games online together. His gaming set up is in a common area so we can see/hear everything and he’s generally been responsible with it. He ignores his phone 99% of the time unless he’s actively trying to text us or answer our calls. We also have it locked down during school hours and they have to stay in backpacks at school anyway.
ETA. He got it for after school sports and carpooling reasons but wasn’t begging for it so that’s likely part of his lack of obsession as well.
Also, our schools require all smartwatches to also be in backpacks during the day.
My kids all have iPads and can communicate with friends that way. We let our 12 year old DD use an old iPhone 6 when she’s out with friends. She only takes it to school on days she has after school club so we can monitor her ride home.
No social media. Won’t even discuss it until 13. I’m not sure what we will do at that point because if I had it my way they’d have 0 social accounts forever but I know that’s not reasonable.
I’m a veteran middle school teacher and I stick HARD to no phone before 8th and no social media until high school. That said, DD2 (12.5, going into 7th) has an iCloud address that she can use to text her friends on an iPad that stays in the house.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I’m a veteran middle school teacher and I stick HARD to no phone before 8th and no social media until high school. That said, DD2 (12.5, going into 7th) has an iCloud address that she can use to text her friends on an iPad that stays in the house.
I thought this only works with other apple devices. DC hasn’t been able to text friends on Android devices. Am I doing something wrong? She uses her Apple ID on a wifi-only iPhone that essentially functions as an iPod/iPad.
Also, just a plea to anyone who doesn’t allow cell phones - own it.
I heard a mom on my son’s soccer team saying that she tells her kid he doesn’t need a phone because the only kids who have phones are the ones whose parents are divorced and I was really grossed out at the whole “othering” thing that happened there, as well as pawning off her decision.
I just wanted to complain about that, really. Because it irked me.
Oh I own it. My kids don’t get phones until 8th grade because I don’t think they should 🤷♀️
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I’m a veteran middle school teacher and I stick HARD to no phone before 8th and no social media until high school. That said, DD2 (12.5, going into 7th) has an iCloud address that she can use to text her friends on an iPad that stays in the house.
I thought this only works with other apple devices. DC hasn’t been able to text friends on Android devices. Am I doing something wrong? She uses her Apple ID on a wifi-only iPhone that essentially functions as an iPod/iPad.
No idea, sorry. Everyone she knows seems to have the same set up or an iPhone so it hasn’t come up.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I thought this only works with other apple devices. DC hasn’t been able to text friends on Android devices. Am I doing something wrong? She uses her Apple ID on a wifi-only iPhone that essentially functions as an iPod/iPad.
No idea, sorry. Everyone she knows seems to have the same set up or an iPhone so it hasn’t come up.
Thanks. I think it’s limited to iMessaging. They have no issue texting or FaceTiming family and friends with their own apple products. It does not work with any other devices and their besties have androids.
Post by fivechickens on Jun 16, 2023 16:06:56 GMT -5
I gave my kids (12) my old phone that they share. I wasn’t going to but they stay home alone at times and didn’t feel comfortable with not having a phone, and it was helpful with D1 extracurricular.
They have (maybe) 8 numbers on it (mine, H, 2 grandmas, D3 parapro and 3 good friends that I approve/trust). They have to ask to call/text friends.
No social media and luckily they are not interested. I told them I would not allow it until HS. Right now they are okay with that but we’ll see as they get older.
I’m a veteran middle school teacher and I stick HARD to no phone before 8th and no social media until high school. That said, DD2 (12.5, going into 7th) has an iCloud address that she can use to text her friends on an iPad that stays in the house.
I thought this only works with other apple devices. DC hasn’t been able to text friends on Android devices. Am I doing something wrong? She uses her Apple ID on a wifi-only iPhone that essentially functions as an iPod/iPad.
This is correct. It's the reason my second kid got an iPhone even though we are an android family. We learned our lesson with the older one.
Kids Messenger is the best option across platforms.
DD will be 13 next week and got a new iPhone for Xmas because of being left out. It’s a 12 mini and was through Mint mobile with a deal, so while like $700, that pays for 10G of data a month for a year. I actually got myself the same deal and gave DS (almost 11) my iPhone 8S.
Neither has social media of any kind and they have to ask for any apps. I also have time limits on everything and as many parental controls that Apple allows via Apple family.
My daughter is 11, she doesn’t have a phone or social media but she got an Apple Watch as she started middle school this year and takes the bus. She texts with friends on her watch.
I’ve been hoping to hold out til 8th grade but we’ll see how it goes.
We followed the precedent of family members with kids. You get a phone when you start middle school. My oldest is now 15. He got a hand me down iPhone 7 at 11 when he started 6th grade. He was upgraded to a 14 last November because there was a good promo/trade in(I also upgraded my phone). My youngest(he just turned 12) also got his first phone at age 11. He lucked out and got a brand new iPhone 12 because they were running a promo for a free one if you added a line to a current plan. New phone had to be assigned to the new line.
No social media until 13. My 15 year old is finishing up his freshman year of high school and still has no social media. He says he doesn’t want it because he already had enough drama in his life and doesn’t need or want any more drama.
I appreciate this thread. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do for my 12 year old, about to go to middle school, son. We have an "extra" iPhone (Verizon was running a promo, we got the phone for almost free), a mini, that I've deemed "the house phone". I have said from the day we got it that it's OUR (mine & H's) phone that E can use; it's not *his* phone. He uses it to Facetime his 2 buddies after school. He's also texted with a camp friend from time to time. And I could call him on it from work (I would leave for work 2 hours before he left for school) if I needed to remind him about something.
He doesn't use social media--just calls, Facetime & texting, and even that's like 5 people. I really don't know what I'm going to do in the fall--should I let him take it to school or no? They can't use their phones during the day at school (has to remain off/silent in their backpacks), so it's not like he needs it for class, but man, I just don't know. I want to have some way to get in touch with him for after school stuff, or if he forgot something at home. I thought about getting him an Apple Watch w/ cellular (he has a Gizmo currently that doesn't work, so we already have a dedicated line that I could link to the watch). An Apple Watch with cellular works if you pair it w/ somebody's iPhone--it could be mine, it could be the house phone.
After typing this all out, I think I'm going to go the Apple Watch route. Should I pair it with the house phone or my phone?
I appreciate this thread. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do for my 12 year old, about to go to middle school, son. We have an "extra" iPhone (Verizon was running a promo, we got the phone for almost free), a mini, that I've deemed "the house phone". I have said from the day we got it that it's OUR (mine & H's) phone that E can use; it's not *his* phone. He uses it to Facetime his 2 buddies after school. He's also texted with a camp friend from time to time. And I could call him on it from work (I would leave for work 2 hours before he left for school) if I needed to remind him about something.
He doesn't use social media--just calls, Facetime & texting, and even that's like 5 people. I really don't know what I'm going to do in the fall--should I let him take it to school or no? They can't use their phones during the day at school (has to remain off/silent in their backpacks), so it's not like he needs it for class, but man, I just don't know. I want to have some way to get in touch with him for after school stuff, or if he forgot something at home. I thought about getting him an Apple Watch w/ cellular (he has a Gizmo currently that doesn't work, so we already have a dedicated line that I could link to the watch). An Apple Watch with cellular works if you pair it w/ somebody's iPhone--it could be mine, it could be the house phone.
After typing this all out, I think I'm going to go the Apple Watch route. Should I pair it with the house phone or my phone?
Pair it with your phone as a kid phone (apple allows for just this situation). If you pair with the house phone that he uses he will be able to adjust settings and such and the draw for sneaking that phone with him will be higher.
notsopicky, your situation is similar to ours I think.
We have opted to maintain status quo (he’s going into 8th, 2 yrs in middle school is done) save if there’s a planned after school thing. Like, last day of school he wanted to hang out w friends for a long time & going multiple places, he took the phone. If he’s forgotten something, he’s asked a teacher or front office if he can call me. Re: after school stuff we’ve just gotten really good with him using the calendar function on his school tablet to set up reminders & living like it’s 1999 with notes in lunch boxes or places where he’d see it in home. He also has 30min post school to hang out w friends without permission. And, frankly, so many kids have phones, he’s used a friend’s to ask if he could stay out longer.
Apple Watches can be a pain at our school bc they have to take them off for tests & sometimes for bathroom visits (I forget why but there was a string of bathroom incidents & all devices needed to be removed b4 going). I do not trust my child (adhd) to not misplace it at school, part of the reason of maintaining status quo.
Yeah I was going to say Apple Watches are kind of a pain at school. They can't wear them for tests and they can't wear them in PE. DD just leaves her at home all test days because she finds that easiest. If you are relying on that for your main source of communication I would wait and see what the school rules are first.
But truly there were only three times last year that I really wanted to talk to DD at school (once when a tornado touched down very close to the school, once when it was flooded and I had to change how I was picking her up, and once when there was a school shooting threat). Otherwise I think I overestimated how much she needed one for school and underestimated the social benefits.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jun 17, 2023 7:32:34 GMT -5
Own phone, cheap android, and we use parental controls. No social media. I don't want to have to text kids' parents to coordinate stuff.
We use the Google parental controls and have it locked down from 9 pm to 6 am, can't download apps without permission, etc.
Mine are 13 and 15 now and we did let the 15 get discord this year because a school club uses it to communicate. Other than that they use text and fb messenger kids. Their school uses Google classroom so they also use the Google chat feature I think, as all the kids have that on their school Chromebooks regardless of phone status. Is it called hangouts or something? IDK.
It is the minimum age per the terms of service for most social media (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. I assume others too)
Or are you asking why those companies set 13 as the minimum age? That I don't know.
Thanks! I haven't set up a new account in a while and forgot the minimum age. It seems young and I don't get the need. With all the negatives and no positives.
Do you know how your kids school handles watches? My son had a gizmo at his old school and was allowed to wear it. In his school now they collect phones but kids can wear their watches. My son just wears the watch and leaves his phone home. There's been a couple of times that something has come up and he's asked his teacher if he could let me know and they've said he could call or text me right then.
In 6, 7 and 8th grade we have to get them laptops that they carry all day. They're just as likely to do stupid things with that as with watches. More likely maybe? I think we have to be ready to adjust as we go. It seems like every mistake a kid makes now we all feel like it's a disaster putting them on the road to ruin. I don't know how to fix that.
Post by fancynewbeesly on Jun 17, 2023 9:17:15 GMT -5
DD1 got a phone at the end of fifth grade. We moved and she has a lot more freedom in walking places and biking to things than she didn’t in our old town.
Besides no social media rule, we don’t monitor her phone much. We check it every now and then but DD is a rule follower and not a sneaky kid. She doesn’t know how to lie. So she has more freedom because she never lost our trust.
She uses text and messenger kids to talk to her friends (some friends don’t have a phone yet) and she has no preference on how to communicate. About 50% of her friends have social media but she doesn’t care she isn’t allowed it.
Most of the time she plays solitaire or wordscapes on her phone anyway.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jun 17, 2023 9:53:42 GMT -5
My kids use Facebook messenger on their kindles/iPods and also message on their iPods, although ds has a phone and also uses that (mostly he talks on the phone while playing Roblox with friends on his iPod). They only work while on wifi, but that hasn't been an issue. Dd has had friends bring ipads and all other manner of devices to our house to use and then ask for our wifi password while here so they can message with each other/their parents too.
Eta they aren't allowed any social media, they just chat, and you can have Facebook messenger for kids without them having a Facebook account, it's linked to the parent acct and we have to approve their contacts.
It is the minimum age per the terms of service for most social media (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. I assume others too)
Or are you asking why those companies set 13 as the minimum age? That I don't know.
Thanks! I haven't set up a new account in a while and forgot the minimum age. It seems young and I don't get the need. With all the negatives and no positives.
Do you know how your kids school handles watches? My son had a gizmo at his old school and was allowed to wear it. In his school now they collect phones but kids can wear their watches. My son just wears the watch and leaves his phone home. There's been a couple of times that something has come up and he's asked his teacher if he could let me know and they've said he could call or text me right then.
In 6, 7 and 8th grade we have to get them laptops that they carry all day. They're just as likely to do stupid things with that as with watches. More likely maybe? I think we have to be ready to adjust as we go. It seems like every mistake a kid makes now we all feel like it's a disaster putting them on the road to ruin. I don't know how to fix that.
My kids elementary school requires all electronic devices to be turned off, including watches.
My son is starting ms in the Fall and I'm not sure about their policy. Whatever it is, I hope it is strict and enforced.
My youngest is 11 and I think we need to set him up on our phone plan for this reason. I know he is missing out on opportunities to roam around because other kids are texting to hang out. we don’t do any social media until 13 or 14.
We just got our 11 year olds Gabb phones. They desperately wanted phones. We did not love the idea. But next year they’ll be in middle school and that involves walking to the Boys and Girls Club after school or coordinating pick ups with me from clubs, etc. The Gabb phones can basically just call and text. No access to anything else. They have iPads at home for games and YouTube watching when we can monitor it. No social media accounts of any kind and I don’t intend to let that happen for a long time. It’s funny, they were so excited to finally get phones and they are constantly not charged or left at home so far. We need to practice more responsibility this summer to prep for middle school.
My 12yos text via an Apple Watch with cellular. They have school iPads too but their friends just text so nothing special is needed yet. I’m pretty sure I’ll be the last holdout in their whole school but I’m not getting them phones for at least another year. Hoping to make it to 8th gr graduation first. It’s easier for boys at their school to hold out than girls. There are still a lot of boys with no devices at all. Girls, not so much.