I’m glad no one has said they regret their name choice or hate their own name!
PDQ: my daughter’s name is …I absolutely love her name, but I worry, with a life of mispronunciation, she will grow to hate it.
that sounds beautiful! Is it pronounced Noo Al ah?
My name was mispronounced regularly (and often still is) and while I do not love my name, I do not hate it and I love that it is unique and has meaning behind it.
No, it’s pronounced New-lah! Fionnuala is the actual name, but we just named her the nickname (like naming a child Liam instead of William).
My name is common and not difficult to pronounce and I still had an elementary teacher who wanted to call me by the nickname she liked. Example: If my name was Stephanie and I went by Stephanie, she wanted to call me "Stephie" because she liked the nickname. If I would politely correct her, she'd say, "But don't you love Stephie? It's such a cute name." It was so fucking annoying.
I was a teacher for many years, and if I had a name on my roster I didn't know how to pronounce, I would ask them the first day of school (I taught HS). I'd write it on my seating chart phonetically so I'd remember going forward.
I have a somewhat difficult name to pronounce (if you’re not a Fleetwood Mac fan 😜). As a kid I HATED it. I was shy and hated correcting people so I’d usually just go with however they massacred it. As a result I was really protective of friends and family giving me nicknames-you either said my full name or I was unhappy.
Now I don’t mind my name. I told everyone at my new job they can call me by a shortened version of my name. People call me the wrong name on the phones all the time and I roll with it. A coworker and I have a running list of all the funny things we’ve been called.
The verdict-I don’t love my name but I don’t hate it. When I was pregnant with E I wanted to give her a name that wasn’t the same as everyone being named at the time (lol!) but I also didn’t want her to have to go through what I did. So I went through old SS top name lists from the 1900s and WALLA, Eleanor.
My dd's name gets mispronounced often, but by the time she was in kindergarten she could reliably pronounce it correctly herself, so I coached her on how to correct people if they mispronounced it (if it was a teacher/coach/someone she needed to interact with frequently and she was first meeting them without me present). But hers isn't difficult and the mispronunciation isn't far off from what it really is, if that makes sense (her name is Lorelei, pronounced Lor-a-lie like I'm going to tell a lie, but people often pronounce it Lor-a-lee. So when she corrects them, it's not hard for them to get it. If it was much harder, I probably would have been tempted to do more.
This surprises me, but I guess Gilmore Girls was too long ago?
Please correct people, and encourage your daughter to correct people. My name is somewhat common but has 3 ways to say it, and mine is the least common. Almost no one gets it right, and I was always too shy to correct people. I still usually don't, I am lucky my husband, kids and friends will if they hear someone say it wrong. It just gets tiring to always have to tell people it is being said wrong.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Jun 19, 2023 8:05:26 GMT -5
My most senior leader at work has an unusual name that people tend to mispronounce. In this case, his parents combined two first names into a new name for him. Anyway, I seldom hear him correct others, but he did once say he has always told his mom that others pronounce it correctly, just to spare her feelings.
This surprises me, but I guess Gilmore Girls was too long ago?
I also thought of the Gilmore Girls but maybe the -lee pronunciation is regional where she is. I've never heard of the name spelled like Gilmore Girls but pronounced -lee.
I think if your name is Anna like Anna Kendrick vs Anna from Frozen (Sara is another common name like this that always catches me off guard), it's easy to correct people on the pronunciation and insist it be pronounced as intended by your parents. I guess it would be normal to send a note to the teacher in advance if this is the case.
But some of us have names with sounds that don't exist in English and no amount of correcting is going to get anyone to say it right. So yeah, privilege indeed.
Jalapeñomel, my daughter has an easy to pronounce, but very unusual first name (Thomasin). My name, Meredith, isn't super common (it's never been a top 100 name) and as a small child I used to wish it was Ashley or Katie or Jessica (1980s!), but I grew to like and appreciate it. I know that now, the most common names are actually not AS common as they were decades ago - something like 2.5% of all girls were named Mary in 1920, so an elementary school of 300 kids per class would have 7+ girls named Mary on average, but now it's usually only 1-2 girls named Olivia or Isabella per class.
So I guess what I'm saying is that everyone is used to having original names now. I don't think kids won't "fit in" if they have something more unusual. And unlike my brother (a Matthew in the 1980s), our kids will never need to use their last initial to distinguish which one they are.
I have a common Jewish name, but only if you’re in a big Jewish area, which is not where I grew up or live currently. So it’s always mispronounced. I usually correct people, but it’s less them speaking it, more the constant mis-spelling it in emails.
It’s also why my kid has a very easy name. I still followed Jewish naming traditions, I just picked an easier great grandparent name to give her.
lilafowler, if it's the name I'm thinking of (a Welsh name, right?) I'm surprised, since it rhymes with another common girls' name of our generation. Also, it's pretty and was on my long list for my daughter.
I have an Irish name that is often mispronounced. I’ve always just corrected people for as long as I can remember.
My daughter also has a name that sometimes seems to throw people off (Lorelei). She’s super shy so she’ll just answer to however it’s said but if someone asks her how to pronounce it or if they’re saying it correctly when they’re not she will tell them.
My dd's name gets mispronounced often, but by the time she was in kindergarten she could reliably pronounce it correctly herself, so I coached her on how to correct people if they mispronounced it (if it was a teacher/coach/someone she needed to interact with frequently and she was first meeting them without me present). But hers isn't difficult and the mispronunciation isn't far off from what it really is, if that makes sense (her name is Lorelei, pronounced Lor-a-lie like I'm going to tell a lie, but people often pronounce it Lor-a-lee. So when she corrects them, it's not hard for them to get it. If it was much harder, I probably would have been tempted to do more.
Haha I have a Lorelei too. I just posted about her - I found it surprising it’s been as problematic as it has been. We get Lorelee a lot but also some really interesting versions that I can’t even begin to write out.
My dd's name gets mispronounced often, but by the time she was in kindergarten she could reliably pronounce it correctly herself, so I coached her on how to correct people if they mispronounced it (if it was a teacher/coach/someone she needed to interact with frequently and she was first meeting them without me present). But hers isn't difficult and the mispronunciation isn't far off from what it really is, if that makes sense (her name is Lorelei, pronounced Lor-a-lie like I'm going to tell a lie, but people often pronounce it Lor-a-lee. So when she corrects them, it's not hard for them to get it. If it was much harder, I probably would have been tempted to do more.
Haha I have a Lorelei too. I just posted about her - I found it surprising it’s been as problematic as it has been. We get Lorelee a lot but also some really interesting versions that I can’t even begin to write out.
My cousin’s daughter is also this name but spelled Loraly…it’s confusing lol
I have an easy to pronounce last name that is often mispronounced. Think Jones but often said to me as James, Jonas, etc. I will correct almost everyone unless I won't see them again. I find it helpful to say "it's pronounced like Catherine Zeta Jones." Don't get me started on what I get called with my first name if my legal name is written down.....think Catherine. Cathy, Kathleen, Kath, Katie, Kay. No, I got by Kat. Oh, Kathy. No, Kat. Like a kitty cat. Meow. (I am saying this from the POV of privilege of course. They are European names but have variations in many cultures.)
I would definitely introduce a kid with the correct pronunciation of their name to a teacher. One of my pet peeves is for *me* to mispronounce someone's name and call them something incorrect. I hope I'm never rude to someone when I say "Please help me with the correct pronunciation of your name."
Not me being puzzled and thinking "Her name is not hard to pronounce. How could it be said wrong?"....
Then reading it again and seeing it is your last name you are talking about. LOL
My grandmother's name was Nathalie and I think it is gorgeous. I would love to use it as a name for a future daughter, but fear people would call her Natalie.
I also love the name Saoirse and I know people would fumble over it.
I have a basic name and people mess it up all the time! Jalapeñomel, your daughter's name is so pretty!!!
My name was mispronounced a lot as a kid, so I gave my kids names that aren’t often mispronounced (even though they’re not super common).
I love having an uncommon name but I was a shy kid who hated correcting people. It’s interesting to think how our experience with our own names shapes how we name our kids!
I am a stickler for saying names correctly and making everyone else around me do it as well.
I would just send in a note or tell it to the teacher directly when you meet them. Or practice a phrase for her to say ahead of time so she is prepared. Or maybe they will be fine! I’d hope a teacher in 2023 would be putting forth some effort on their own.
I have a not trendy but not uncommon name that’s easy to spell and pronounce and something bizarre that happens to me is people asking “do you ever go by ABC?”—a completely different name that shares the same first letter. Why would I do that?
It would be like telling someone your name is Barbara and people responding by asking if you ever go by Beverly. No. Why would you? This happens at least a few times a year!
There is no winning with names! People are very strange.
I introduce myself with the incorrect pronunciation. Just don’t feel like having the name conversation anymore.
I do this when checking in at restaurants. 😂
To answer the original question I’d clarify at drop off. By K they should be old enough to self correct.
I have a less common pronunciation. I normally self correct once and if they don’t get it I give up. It bothers the people around me more than it bothers me to hear it wrong.
I would say I'm indifferent to my name. It's just my name. I don't love or hate it. I did like that I was the only one with the name in my school. I have literally never met someone with the same name in person. Never. I know they exist and I've talked to one on FB who was trying to friend as many people with the name as she could. That was amusing. I think she'd found less than a thousand worldwide.
When it came time to name the kids, we wanted to come up with unusal but not unheard of names. Big Kid is (PDQ I'll delete later) (redacted), Little Kid is (Redacted). I didn't think Little Kid would be as difficult as it is but apparently I was wrong. People seem to get it fast, much faster than they would get my name right (except my Dad. It took him months to get it right which is a whole different issue).
EDIT: Also I almost universally go by Molly for take out food or if I need to give a name that doesn't actually need to be my legal name. It's just easier to say Molly and not have to spell it out. It makes my friend who's a Courtney cackle every time we go for coffee.
When my DD was born, with a name in the top 10, Mia, they wrote on her chart Me-a because it was hard to pronounce. That’s when I just threw my hands up over it. She is called Mya all the time so maybe we had it wrong and maybe names are just hard.
My dd's name gets mispronounced often, but by the time she was in kindergarten she could reliably pronounce it correctly herself, so I coached her on how to correct people if they mispronounced it (if it was a teacher/coach/someone she needed to interact with frequently and she was first meeting them without me present). But hers isn't difficult and the mispronunciation isn't far off from what it really is, if that makes sense (her name is Lorelei, pronounced Lor-a-lie like I'm going to tell a lie, but people often pronounce it Lor-a-lee. So when she corrects them, it's not hard for them to get it. If it was much harder, I probably would have been tempted to do more.
This surprises me, but I guess Gilmore Girls was too long ago?
Maybe, or maybe because it was spelled Lorelai on the show, people think hers is different (we went with a different spelling not to be different but because we thought it would be easier for her to spell and it made sense to us...Lorelai looked like Lor-a-lay to me). But when she tells people her name when they aren't seeing it in writing, the 1st response is usually 'oh, like in Gilmore Girls!' so she definitely knows the reference.
This surprises me, but I guess Gilmore Girls was too long ago?
Maybe, or maybe because it was spelled Lorelai on the show, people think hers is different (we went with a different spelling not to be different but because we thought it would be easier for her to spell and it made sense to us...Lorelai looked like Lor-a-lay to me). But when she tells people her name when they aren't seeing it in writing, the 1st response is usually 'oh, like in Gilmore Girls!' so she definitely knows the reference.
I actually had no idea it was spelled Lorelai on the show lol
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Jun 19, 2023 16:56:57 GMT -5
I honestly stopped correcting people a long time ago. It got tiresome. You can say it however you want and spell it whichever way you want.
I did not like my name growing up and wished I was one of the Melissa’s or Jessica’s or Jennifer’s. I don’t know if I love my name now but I don’t hate it. It is who I am.
I did give my kids more well-known names though but they still get mispronounced/misspelled. So there’s no winning.
Once in high school I had a substitute teacher who said “oh I like your middle name better. It’s easier to say. I’ll call you that.” 🫠🙄
Post by lilafowler on Jun 19, 2023 20:02:00 GMT -5
I totally give a fake name when I’m ordering at places like Starbucks. I tell them my name is Pam (it’s my bff’s name so a name I’d respond to hearing in public already) 😆
I’ll talk to Pam about going to get coffee and she’ll ask “what did we get today?”
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jun 19, 2023 20:09:53 GMT -5
I use my daughter's name when I order. I tried using my son's name one time DD wasn't with us, and substituting a typically male name was also confusing, so I stick to DD's.
I will say my name is easy to understand when read (just not when spoken), so using apps is also helpful.
My maiden name was really tough for people to say correctly (it’s Irish, too- we love our vowel combos, lol) When I was in second grade we had an awards ceremony at the end of the year and when my teacher called my name she used the phonetic pronunciation of my name and my grandparents were horrified. Afterwards they were like “Has she been calling you the wrong name all year? Did you ever correct her?” And apparently I shrugged and said “Eh, I knew who she was talking to” LOL.
Your daughter has a beautiful name, and I’d wager that most teachers she has will ask her the correct way to pronounce it before they even try, but if not you could have her practice saying “Excuse me, but you actually say my name like this:…”