Post by charlatti on Sept 10, 2023 13:07:17 GMT -5
My closest sibling is local, and we see them every couple of months or so. H’s siblings are across the country and we see/talk to them very, very rarely.
My brother who lives 25 minutes away sees our kids (and we see theirs) 2-3 times per month. My parents typically have us over for lunch or dinner every other Sunday. In summer, we sometimes go over more often.
My other brother lives five hours away, and we maybe see him 3-4 times per year.
We see H’s brother once a year when we visit his parents (requires a plane ride). We almost never see his sister because she lives a plane ride away in a different place.
My brother and I don't harbor animosity but we aren't particularly close, and he lives about 4 hours away. We see each other IRL maybe 2-3 times/year, and he might facetime a few more times for birthdays, etc. In the last year I think we've seen them 3 times: Thanksgiving, my niece's 1st birthday, and Labor Day weekend every year.
My brother currently lives with my parents about 40 mins away. It depends on the time of year, but maybe once a month or every other month.
My sister whose kids are around the age of mine sees us like 2x per year and we are about an hour apart. She finds excuses not to get together so I gave up trying with her. It’s disappointing.
Post by cricketwife on Sept 10, 2023 13:40:11 GMT -5
Timely question as my brother, who lives 700 miles away, happens to be in my city today to see my mother. I won’t see him, nor do I want to because he’s turned into a total a$$. I do, however, feel very sad that the only family my children have is the four of us in our nuclear family. Well, and my mom who has severe Alzheimer’s. All their other family are dead or estranged.
Trying to figure out how guilty I should be for not having my kids see my sibling more (monthly right now). There is a difference in desire.
Well, as the lead vote is a few times a year followed by monthly, sees you're right on target. It's nice that your sibling wants to see your kids more, but really... don't feel guilty. You've got to do what works for you and your life, and if you don't have the desire and/or the time to see your sibling more often, then that's what it is.
My sister lives a plane ride away so we see each other (with kids) a couple of times a year. If they lived closer, we would see them much more often. We haven’t seen her oldest in longer bc he’s in college and our visits often don’t line up with when he’s around, unfortunately.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by fancynewbeesly on Sept 10, 2023 14:37:49 GMT -5
My brother seems them once a year (if that). He lives in Florida and we are NJ. So it isn’t easy to coordinate.
My DH has two brothers. One lives 3 minutes away. They have 3 kids-two of them are my DDs age so built in best friend cousins. We usually seen him weekly. In some capacity (dropping off or picking up kids) or coming over. I can’t stand my SIL there so we try to coordinate kids pick up through him.
My other BIL lives about 20 minutes away and we see him maybe 3-4 times a year which frustrates me because before he got married to my SIL he and DD1 were super close and he saw her all the time. So I blame my SIL for that.
I don't have siblings, but H has 9! The sister he is closest to lives a 4 hours flight away, but they have a standing date for weekly FT. DS always talks to her during those conversations. We see her in person once or twice a year.
My sister lives 15 minutes away, and we see her at least once or twice a month, sometimes more often. She never made any effort to visit or connect with my kids when we weren't living in town, but she and I had a much less close relationship then and I chalk a lot of her disinterest up to that. Since moving back to my hometown she and I have become very close, and we talk or text at least once a week.
H's brother and sister live in different states and we pretty much never see them. H's family isn't close, not even their mom, and we're all fine with the status quo.
Post by circa1978 on Sept 10, 2023 16:05:33 GMT -5
Right now, my son sees my brother (local) about once a month but we've ranged from daily (he lived with us) to a few times a year (COVID)over the years. He sees SIL 1-2 times a year, when we visit her (she's two hours away). He sees my cousin (local), who is like my sister, every six weeks or so, and my BFF, who is his godmother, anywhere from once a year to every few months (they live four hours away).
ETA: he has never met my other brother, who is estranged from our family but we see my nephew every year.
None of my siblings are local. My sister used to be about an hour drive away and I saw my nieces/nephews monthly. They never traveled to see us, but we were OK with that. I will say, when my nieces and nephews were younger, I would sometimes see them every weekend. As they got older and involved in activities, I saw them less often because they were busy all weekend.
My sister lives a 1.5 hr drive away and it’s a probably 4-5 times year. I wish we could do more but her kids are older than mine so everyone is busy. If we lived closer I’d like to think it would be more often.
My brother’s family is a flight away so we see them once a year when we fly down to visit my parents. Lucky they live in the same town. They’ve only come to visit me once and that was for my wedding.
H’s siblings are also a flight away and it is once a year or less.
I said monthly. Strangely my "closest" sibling is 2 hours away. We have a vacation house about 40 minutes from her house and she makes a huge effort to see him as much as possible, either there or coming to stay with us at home sometimes. The ones that are physically closest see him 1 or 2 times a year.
H's sister lives in our neighborhood and sees us all almost daily.
My brother lives about 25 minutes away, next door to my parents. He seems my kids maybe monthly when we are at my parents. We basically never socialize on our own. He doesn't really have an interest in knowing much about my kids-- he is childfree and kids are just not his thing. That has continued even though my kids are teen/tweens now and capable of keeping up adult conversations.
If something happened to my parents I'd probably invite him to Christmas and Thanksgiving and otherwise never see him.
Post by countthestars on Sept 10, 2023 18:14:10 GMT -5
We live 5 min from my sister and our kids are all the same age, in many of the same sports. We see them 2-4 times a week During the school year and almost daily in the summer because we carpool to summer camps. We have another sibling who lives just about an hour from us and we see his kid a couple of times a year?
A few times a year (big holidays plus a couple of extra times during the summer). My sister is local to us, but we both have teens/tweens and full time jobs, so it just can’t happen more than that. We are close, though, and usually talk at least once/week.
Post by pinkplasticdoll on Sept 10, 2023 18:23:44 GMT -5
Sibling 1 is 3.5 hours away and only sees them if they are in town for one of their childrens events but even then it's not a guarantee they will see my kids.
Sibling 2 is half way across the country and sees them 1-2 times in a good year.
sil 1 lives <45 minutes away and sees them less than annually.
Bil has never met our kids and likely won't until ils pass as my h is nc with them .
I have one local sibling. We only see each other a handful of times per year. We used to talk several times a week, but she started working after several years as a SAHM and now it’s really difficult to find the time to even chat on the phone, let alone see each other. Kids activities and jobs kill our social lives.
My other sibling and DH’s siblings are all a 5+ hour drive or a plane ride away. We see the then a few times a year.
Not local, but we see them a few times a year. We're relatively close, and if they were local, I like to think we'd see them 1-2x a month. All adults work and we all have young children, so weekends are the only time we reasonably get together with anyone when kids are involved. Once every 2-3 weekends seems like the most that would be possible. So seeing a sibling monthly seems totally reasonable to me!
Post by Velar Fricative on Sept 10, 2023 19:17:41 GMT -5
I have three siblings - one lives an hour away, the other two live in other states (usually requires flying). The one an hour away we see monthly, the others it’s about 3 times a year. We are fairly close.
DH has four siblings, all live an hour or less away. I’d say it’s every 2 months or so with each sibling. They’re close, but nearly all have young kids too so busy schedules for all of us get in the way.
My sister lives on the mainland but comes to visit for major holidays, some long weekends and an additional weekend in summer. My brother lives in Montreal and comes back for Christmas and one summer visit. Neither have in-laws competing for visits, but I imagine frequency of our visits may decrease if/when they do. I am not particularly close to either of my siblings due to our age gap, but I do get along with them so I'm happy they enjoy seeing DD when possible.
Post by pittpurple on Sept 11, 2023 4:24:38 GMT -5
This actually makes me feel much better. I immigrated overseas and so we only see my brother and my husband's sister once a year - or less - and I've always felt really guilty about that. This thread is a good reminder that proximity doesn't necessarily mean anything would be that different anyway.
My parents, brother and I are on a Signal group and chat daily. We have a complicated relationship with DH's sister so that's trickier. Neither of them really have a relationship with our kids but there's lots of reasons for that.
My sister lives a 5 hour flight away (she has no kids of her own) When she lived in NYC we saw her several times a year. Now she sees my kids rarely/annually at best (but she texts my teen a lot )
DH had one brother, who passed away. My sister in law is also across the country but we make sure we do a trip with her/visit at least twice a year so that we can see my niece and nephew and so the kids/cousins can all see each other.