How often does your sibling see your kid?

[konapoppy]

Help me understand how other families work to give me some perspective.

I am especially interested if they are local to you, but I know that will vary.

Go with the sibling you are closest with if you have multiple.

[redheadbaker]

A few times a year. He's local, but my brother and I aren't close.

[dcn]

We all live far apart, so we only see each other 2-3 times a year. We don’t really ever FaceTime. We text frequently, but rarely talk on the phone. My kids play video games with their cousins at least weekly, sometimes more often.

[thebreakfastclub]

When we lived in the same city, I saw my niece and nephew maybe 3-4 times a year. We have since moved, so maybe twice a year. They are also in college now.

I've never texted or face timed them.

[fortnightlily]

Before they estranged themselves from the rest of our family, we'd see my local sibling and their child who is close in age to ours probably once or twice a month.

[steamboat185]

We live across the country any typically fly back 2-3 times a year. This year we stayed at my sisters house for 6 days in December and 3 days over Labor Day. I wish it was more but our schedules really don’t line up well. We do text/FaceTime every 6ish weeks.

[meowmaps]

We are a three hour train ride away. My sibling has a lot of flexibility and resources we don’t have. He travels all over the place, all the time but doesn’t come “home” to visit almost ever. My oldest is 5. He’s seen her three times total in her life and the first two times were when she was born and the Thanksgiving after. She wouldn’t remember that. He’s met my youngest, 2, one time almost a year ago.

[momin2013]

I’d say 4-5 times a year. We’re a two-hour drive away from each other. We get together for Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then probably a couple of times during the summer.

[ECB]

My brother is local. He’s skipped thanksgiving and Christmas the past 2 years, which is pretty much the only time we see him. I happened to run into him by chance at my step moms house on Mothers Day. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have seen him for over 2 years.

He’s a sociopath who it’s impossible ti get close to and he lives in a bit of a fantasy world. So - I’m fine with how things are.

[expectantsteelerfan]

My brother isn't local, so we only see them about once a year (8 hour drive or a flight to see him).

My dh's siblings are pretty local. I'd say they see our kids/we see their kids about once a month? Our kids are the oldest. Yesterday we were at dd's 1st soccer game of the season, and dh's parents were there (so was my mom), and his parents had just come from dh's sister's daughter's soccer "game" (that I put in quotes because niece is 2.5 and in soccer shots, so it was more like her just running around kicking the ball) before coming to dd's game, and I guess she had told SIL that they were coming to dd's game, so SIL, BIL and niece had run an errand and then stopped by dd's game too. It was nice to see them unexpectedly.

We don't send them our kids' weekly activity schedule like we do for the grandparents, but we do invite them to the big events, like dd's yearly dance recital or if she's in a musical or something. And we get together for all major holidays, plus birthdays for all the kids usually (not friend birthday parties, but we usually get together for a meal or dessert or something near the day) plus the grandparent birthdays and mother's day and father's day, and we'll all get together randomly a few other times for fun events.

Dh's brother and his family lives more like 45 min. away compared to the 15 min. away that his sister and parents are, so we don't see them as spontaneously though.

[ECB]

To add - BIL lives in NYC and he comes down to see FIL a few times a year. So - we probably see him 3-5 times a year.

[Poppy]

SIL is local and we see them about every 1-2 months. Less during COVID because we and they were very cautious, and it hasn't fully bounced back.

H and SIL have stepsisters whose families we visit about 3-4 times a year.

My sister who lives in CA we see about twice a year but for many days in a row, and H's stepsister in CA we see about once a year. Both of those we wish were more often because they're the two we click with the best.

[imimahoney]

My sister lives 3 hours away and we see each other's kids 4ish times a year. It was closer to 6 when the kids were little and didn't have a ton of activities.

My husband's sister lives 20 minutes away and we see her at all family functions (holidays, bday parties, etc) which is actually a lot because his mother always wants to get together.

We never see them outside of a family function. My husband never makes plans with her and she is busy with her own family so why would she make plans with ours?

If my sister was closer we would probably see eachother a lot but my husband and his sister don't have the same relationship.

[hbomdiggity]

I live on the other coast. I’d say prob 2x year. We visit my family at least once a year.

[turkletsmom]

We're all spread out across the country so we are lucky for annual or every other year visits, but we all get along well, so I think if we were local we'd see each other regularly. Although maybe if we were local we wouldn't get along as well? lol.
Anyway, I text with my brother and sister all the time, but we only facetime with kids for birthdays and Christmas.

We visit my inlaws (also across the country) for 2-3 weeks in the summer and H's siblings make an effort to see us a lot while we are there. My BIL gives DS zoom music lessons once a week, so he's actually the one the kids "see" most often.

[sillygoosegirl]

Her honorary aunt sees her at least a few times per week. Real aunts and uncles, just a few times per year.

[VillainV]

I’m having sibling issues right now. We currently live about 5 hrs apart, but my parents and grandmother live in the middle (closer to her). We usually see each other/each other’s kids maybe once or twice a year. COVID was a lot less than that (maybe once between mid 2019 and end of 21). I’d like to see her more, and I’d like our boys to spend more time together (they’re very close in age), but she’s always too busy/won’t prioritize it.

In contrast, I see my SIL and niece/nephew on my husband’s side 3-4 times a year, and those kids are much older and know my son much better. They live a 10-hr drive away.

[steamboat185]

DH’s brother lives about 35 minutes from my sister so we see them at the same time. Typically we spend less time with them than my sister, but that is mostly because my nephews are a lot (explosive anger, issues with appropriate boundaries etc) and my girls don’t really understand how to play with them (plus it makes my younger one super anxious). They are flying out to see us this year for the first time ever so we will see how that goes!

[arehopsveggies]

When my brother was local we saw him a few times a week. My kids are still having a hard time with him moving.

My SIL is local and we see her every other month or so. But the kids see each other weekly.

Other siblings are far away so we see them a few times a year.

[macmars45]

Two of my four sisters are local. DS(7) sees them roughly 1x/month. Sometimes less and sometimes more.

My other two sisters live 3.5/4 hours drive. They are very busy with their kids/kid activities & work. DS sees them 1-2x/year. I'm not super sad about it though. I have unresolved trauma from their treatment of me (on their end... I've been to therapy for myself) and I have little desire to be actively involved in their lives because of it.

ETA: DS has seen H's sister once when he was 3.5. We visited her & her kids/MIL & FIL for a week in Oct 2019. They all live OOS. H's family is very different from mine. They don't make a huge effort to be involved in each other's lives. H has been trying to change that since 2019 but the pandemic blew a huge hole in visiting often. That and DS' autism diagnosis/the challenges that come with it.

[plutosmoon]

I have 5 siblings, I am only close with one.

My sister lives about 1000 miles away, we see her in person at least once a year, usually more. She doesn't have kids or a regular job, so she has a lot of flexibility to visit. We talk on the phone at least weekly, we text daily, DD texts her and sometimes chats with her when I'm on the phone, DD and I video chat on occasion.

I rarely see my younger brother, he lives about 3 hours away and I have only met my 10 year old nephew once, he has only met DD once. He prioritizes time with his wife's family, he only visits my parents because they live in a beach town and they use them as a free airbnb. We happened to be visiting my parents during the same week last summer.

I also have 3 older half siblings, they are significantly older (10-15 years older) and lived with their mom growing up, so we aren't close. 2 of them I never see (they live a couple hours away) I have never met their kids or their grandkids, they have never met DD. The third lives far away we facebook and send the occasional text. He came to visit DD when she was a baby and toddler a few times when I lived closer to him, I think if he were closer in location we'd visit more.

[nicolewi]

I can't vote; this is too hard.

My bro 1 lives far away. We'd LOVE to see them a LOT more but typically see them once/yr for a week of a family vacation; sometimes one other time for a holiday or long weekend trip

Bro 2 lives nearby but has younger kids; we try to get together sporadically fairly much but on no schedule, sometimes also with my parents. Maybe once every 2 months or so.

DH's slblings are all close and the closest have kids same ages as 2 of ours. We used to do MORE when the kids were younger but it's harder as they get busier. We probably see them every 6 weeks or so? Depends on time of year. Sometimes we also run into them at kid events in the area.

We really enjoy hanging out with family and try to squeeze it in whenever we don't have something else going on.

[felicity]

My brother has only seen my 8 (almost 9) year old once. He hasn't met our younger child. He's older than me and always shown a lot of indifference towards me. I've been out a few times to see his child. I'm sad we aren't closer, but my family has major issues so I know that plays a big part in why we both struggle with figuring out how to connect. We only even talk on the phone a few times a year.

[wanderingback]

Special snowflake. I don’t have siblings but I’m very close to 1 cousin and consider him a brother and my daughter will call him uncle.

He lives 6 blocks away, so we see him all the time because we’ll randomly see him out at a cafe or the store. We hang out together fairly often so he’ll see my daughter when he comes over.

I think intentional times he’s specifically come over to visit her were right after I gave birth and twice when I was on maternity leave for 5 months. He also watched her once for a few hours when my partner had surgery. So I’d say it averages out to a few times per month so far.

[shortstax]

I won't vote to skew results, as my only bro isn't local. He's about 2.5 hours away and we see them probably 4-5x per year. I wish it were more, but we tend to center that around events.

I have a hard time with his wife, if I'm being honest. Although he's forgiven her for infidelities, I have a harder time doing so. I put on a neutral front, but even when in a small group, she has to have the attention and it's exhausting.

[scm1011]

My sister lives about 45 minutes away and sees my kids prob 3x year, and only when I go to her. I wish she wanted to be more involved since she doesn’t work and has a lot of free time, but it is what it is.

[jewel]

My sister is local. We all go to family events 5-6 times a year, maybe more. She doesn’t have kids, and didn’t used to make any particular effort just to see mine. She would occasionally babysit if I asked her to. However, she apparently enjoys watching them play sports, and will show up to almost every game. So, during basketball and baseball, we see her weekly.

My H’s sister is 2 hours away. She has one kid and comes into our town regularly to see their parents. We get invited/informed of these visits occasionally, maybe 25% of the time.

[ssmjlm]

I’m on the app.

My BIL lives less than 10 mins away and sees my kid about 2-3x per year. He always prioritizes his current partner and their family over his own. My kid didn’t even know who he was when she was little, he saw her maybe once a year before he got divorced? One time he came over and my kid asked DH who that man was.

That said, DH doesn’t care to have more than an arm’s length relationship with his family. So lack of involvement isn’t a big deal for us. I know he initially thought MIL would maybe be a bit more involved when she was born, but a tiger doesn’t change their stripes.

When my sister was alive she came by weekly when she lived here. For all the shit she did, she did love being an aunt.

[kdubs923]

I’m an only child.

But DH is the youngest of 3. Everyone has stayed local. One brother we see weekly. The other brother we see less often. I’d say more during the summer (meeting up to use the ILs pool, cookouts) and the fall (birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years) and then from January - April not nearly as often. It’s not intentional, it’s just more fun socializing outside in the warmer months.

[ECB]

Konapuppy, i assume there’s a reason you ask?