wildrice YH is an adult, he can handle feeding himself while you are OOT. Don't stress about not being able to prep for him.
Yes he will be fine! I just usually try to make meals that leave leftovers for a few days before I leave so it's easier for him. He doesn't care and doesn't expect it, i just feel bad leaving him to eat cheese sandwiches all week while I'm off doing fun stuff without him!
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Sept 25, 2023 9:16:58 GMT -5
So my freshman ds decided at 10 PM this Sat. night that he is going to homecoming this coming Sat. night, with a girl that he is friends with. It is yet to be determined if it is a date...they are just going the 2 of them, and they have been talking on the phone pretty much constantly since this weekend, but apparently what prompted them going is that she was planning on going with her friends and they bailed on her/can't go anymore and she still wanted to go so she asked him if he'd go and he said yes. But I didn't even know they were talking at all since before this weekend really.
Good thing he already has a suit for his upcoming confirmation lol. But I spent yesterday messaging with the girl's mom trying to figure out these last minute plans for them since they are both clueless. Apparently her dad is the GM of a local country club, so they will be doing pictures and eating dinner there before the dance, and I was all set to get flowers for her, but the mom said the dad was going to take care of those for both of them too. But now my anxiety is going crazy and I'm re-reading the messages making sure that's what she said because I don't want to have dropped the ball on this. It definitely is what she said, but I still kinda want to message her again today to confirm and say I could still do it, but I also don't want to be pushy or rude. This is definitely one of those things I'm overthinking and stressing over needlessly because of my anxiety because ds certainly doesn't care.
I have a very light calendar today and I'm so relieved because I'm dragging today because it was a busy weekend. I feel like I haven't had a day where I haven't had to set an alarm in forever and I'd really like one of those days but I don't foresee it happening for quite a while I'm looking forward to a day when I can sleep in and then be lazy all day!
The weather is turning cooler and it's making me want to start baking again. I need to come up with my holiday baking plan - I like to get a head start on the things that freeze well so I don't feel overwhelmed in December.
Post by doggielover on Sept 25, 2023 9:28:01 GMT -5
DH has been gone an entire week visiting family (I had to stay back due to work). It's been GLORIAS and so peaceful. He comes back today so there goes the house to myself. The house has been cleaned the day he left and shockingly stayed clean (I knew it would!!). This entire weekend I repainted our bedroom and threw out SO much junk. DH had crap in the closet in literally 6 shoe boxes. I was able to combine and throw out so he's down to 1. I knew he was somewhat of a packrat since his dad is a hoarder but I didn't really realize until this weekend when I did a deep clean. I said out loud to the dog I wonder how long the house is going to stay this clean.
blondemoment123 I called my parents last night and had a good laugh listening to my dad explain to my mom why TS was there and who she was dating, lol!
meanie , H is just like his mom and loves to have little piles of stuff all over. A few years ago, I told him if something sat on the counter or on the floor for more than 24 hrs, it meant that he didnāt think it was important enough to do something with it so I could throw it away. I canāt stand clutter like that-it feels to chaotic to me and stresses me out. There have been a couple of times where Iāve said, this is going in the trash and heāll grab it but for the most part he now keeps his clutter in his office or in the garage. I donāt know how you can have bags filled with stuff for periods of time and have it be something you actually need.
My H is like this too. We have an agreement that it has to be contained to his office at home. As long as I can shut the door and not have to look at it, he can sit in there in his little hoarder paradise. He gets it from his parents too. My ILs house stresses me out, because there is clutter piled on every flat surface.
I can't believe how much of my morning news dose this morning has been about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. I guess bc Jason Kelce is a big deal here in Phila and she was born in Berks county, but OMG all weekend?! Who cares? I almos want them to go back to obsessing over the escaped convict. *shakes cane*
wildrice YH is an adult, he can handle feeding himself while you are OOT. Don't stress about not being able to prep for him.
Yes he will be fine! I just usually try to make meals that leave leftovers for a few days before I leave so it's easier for him. He doesn't care and doesn't expect it, i just feel bad leaving him to eat cheese sandwiches all week while I'm off doing fun stuff without him!
Not to harp on this but does your H have a disability that he canāt prepare a meal/can only eat cheese sandwiches? If not, then youāre not leaving him to just eat cheese sandwiches. Thatās his choice. There are lots of easy meals to make. Have a great trip!
meanie , H is just like his mom and loves to have little piles of stuff all over. A few years ago, I told him if something sat on the counter or on the floor for more than 24 hrs, it meant that he didnāt think it was important enough to do something with it so I could throw it away. I canāt stand clutter like that-it feels to chaotic to me and stresses me out. There have been a couple of times where Iāve said, this is going in the trash and heāll grab it but for the most part he now keeps his clutter in his office or in the garage. I donāt know how you can have bags filled with stuff for periods of time and have it be something you actually need.
Are you and my H the same person? He threw away a bag of springs I had ordered, and left in the envelope on the table until I could use them, later that night. Like I hadnāt had time to use them yet, but yes, I needed them. And I knew exactly where they were.
But itās more than that, he follows me around and puts stuff away that I just got out! Last week, while he was fixing my sewing machine, I pulled out the hand towels I was going to embroider. I set them down on a stool. He finished, I went to check things, then turned to grab the towels and he has put them away since I ājust left them out.ā Yes, I got them out 3 minutes ago and set them down because itās todays project!
DS's 9th birthday is Friday. We're doing a family dinner on Saturday. My parents are driving in from SC for the weekend. My Aunt & Uncle can't come (my uncle farms and is harvesting). My MIL & FIL are TBD - apparently MIL got shingles about 3 weeks ago (DH never mentioned it to me lol) so no idea if she'll feel up to it. SIL and Nephew are also TBD (her husband's aunt passed and they might have to travel out of state to the funeral, but they aren't sure yet if they're going). I feel bad for DS - I don't know if it's time of year or what, but attendance to his birthday events always seems spotty.
Anyway, my Uncle is sending me a check so that I can buy gifts for DS. I have a couple ideas, but need one $20-25 thing. DS mentioned a very surface, passing interest in Dungeons and Dragons. I found a "starter set" on Amazon but I have no idea if it's worth a damn. I'll take any links or suggestions
Post by amandakisser on Sept 25, 2023 10:31:30 GMT -5
My STBXH also LOVED clutter. It gave me massive anxiety and he literally did not care. Since he left in May, my house is miraculously clean and tidy (well as much as it can be with two kids lol). My office is currently a mess but it's filled with stuff I'm purging so it'll be gone within a month.
In more positive news: the guy I'm seeing continues to amaze me every day. I'm on edge waiting for the red flags to start waving, but it's been two months since our first official "date" and there's nothing yet! I was very apprehensive and guilt-ridden to get into something so quickly. I was/still am worried I'm just craving affection. However, I've set some boundaries, I'm putting my needs first, and continuing therapy while he does the same. Everything about him is just...easy. My ex was filled with drama, all.the.time. and he only had two moods - meh and angry. New guy is HAPPY, but when he's angry he communicates to me that he had a bad day but has never one even come close to taking it out on me. He's appreciative, giving, and the sex is out of this world.
I'm still being super cautious, but we are slowly starting to talk about making plans for next summer and maybe a weekend away in the next couple of months. It's exciting and scary at the same time!!
Yes he will be fine! I just usually try to make meals that leave leftovers for a few days before I leave so it's easier for him. He doesn't care and doesn't expect it, i just feel bad leaving him to eat cheese sandwiches all week while I'm off doing fun stuff without him!
Not to harp on this but does your H have a disability that he canāt prepare a meal/can only eat cheese sandwiches? If not, then youāre not leaving him to just eat cheese sandwiches. Thatās his choice. There are lots of easy meals to make. Have a great trip!
Lol no he doesn't, unless ADHD counts, which I guess it kind of does because it makes him pretty absent minded and he'll do stuff like forgetting to measure water while cooking rice so it ends up being mush. Mostly, he just works a lot and has no interest in cooking, so I know he'll prioritize doing stuff for work over trying to figure out nutritious meals. He'll survive either way!
meanie , H is just like his mom and loves to have little piles of stuff all over. A few years ago, I told him if something sat on the counter or on the floor for more than 24 hrs, it meant that he didnāt think it was important enough to do something with it so I could throw it away. I canāt stand clutter like that-it feels to chaotic to me and stresses me out. There have been a couple of times where Iāve said, this is going in the trash and heāll grab it but for the most part he now keeps his clutter in his office or in the garage. I donāt know how you can have bags filled with stuff for periods of time and have it be something you actually need.
Are you and my H the same person? He threw away a bag of springs I had ordered, and left in the envelope on the table until I could use them, later that night. Like I hadnāt had time to use them yet, but yes, I needed them. And I knew exactly where they were.
But itās more than that, he follows me around and puts stuff away that I just got out! Last week, while he was fixing my sewing machine, I pulled out the hand towels I was going to embroider. I set them down on a stool. He finished, I went to check things, then turned to grab the towels and he has put them away since I ājust left them out.ā Yes, I got them out 3 minutes ago and set them down because itās todays project!
This is how my dad is. He can't stand clutter so he'll do stuff like put the water glass I was just drinking out of into the dishwasher, and when I go to use it again a few minutes later it's gone. I think he's gotten a little better about it with age (and since it's just him and my mom most of the time) but it led to a lot of yelling from both of us growing up!
My H and I had a weekend argument over the division of labor and follow-through on non-routine parenting responsibilities. I said some stuff that, to me, is just real talk; he took great offense to it and accused me of threatening him. I still feel blue about it, not because I regret what I said, but because we're so disconnected on this. I think I'll see if there's some cheap counseling available to us through my EAP. HR people, I'm sure my employer get info on how many employees use the resources but nothing personal. Is that a reasonable assumption?
I'm itching to do some fall shopping but also trying hard not to buy something just for the thrill of it. It's a personal goal to be more thoughtful about my selections, but I tend to have analysis paralysis, so putting any thought into this essentially means just never buying anything. I'm also trying to declutter, and I have all these feelings about waste and consumerism, which make it tough to purchase anything. I hope I can find a few things I love so there's no question in my mind about getting them.
Where are the fall maxi dresses with natural waists? I've had it with empire waists on everything.
Post by donutsmakemegonuts on Sept 25, 2023 10:53:36 GMT -5
I'm back to work after being off for over a week. The first day back from vacation is the worst. Someone scheduled a 9 am meeting this morning. I'm annoyed. I definitely enjoyed my time off but I hate coming back to all these emails/voicemails.
Post by midwestmama on Sept 25, 2023 10:56:45 GMT -5
Re: clutter. I'm the clutter culprit in the house. MH has generally put up with it for our 17 years of marriage (although I was much less cluttery before kids), so God bless him for that. Someday I'll reach my goal of decluttering the house! Probably when the kids are in college...
Post by followyourarrow on Sept 25, 2023 11:01:57 GMT -5
FI's exW called him this weekend. She wanted to know if we wanted to go on a double date. Uhhhh... I'll spare you the drama, but nope, I don't have enough bail money for all that.
I saw the nephews this weekend. I asked the almost 2 year old what he wanted for lunch, he said brisket. He cracks me up, but we went out for bbq.
We went camping this weekend (glamping; it was a cabin-like trailer so we had beds and bathroom, but had to pack every last thing from hand towels to soap to sheets to a propane grill), and while it was so fun while there, the level of work before, during and after makes me not want to do it again for a very long while.
It was a campground with a zillion activities for kids and we did practically all of them. I am catatonic with exhaustion today. Really funā¦but not a vacation!
I love when past trauma pops up until the moment it does, I had completely forgotten that it existed.
When I met STBXH I was running pretty regularly and use to compete in several 5Ks per year, even though I am not very fast. Some time in the first year or two that we were together I had a back injury and had to stop running. Every time I would try to start back up, he would find some way to discourage me. The one time that is the most vivid to me was when I was running outside and had taken off my shirt to just run in my sports bra, like countless women do. This was a big deal for me because I have very low-self esteem and and just all around dislike the way that I look. I was so proud of myself that I even wrote a blog post about it. He laid in to me about how inappropriate it was and how could I think that doing that in public (I was actually in a pretty secluded section of a park, but whatever) was completely disrespectful to him. It was pretty terrible and I stopped even trying to start running again after that.
Until today. My daughter and I decided that we are going to run a 5K and I started Couch to 5K today. Right at the end of my work out I was so proud of myself until all of the memories of him discouraging me came rushing back. I'm not going to let it deter me, but goddamn that sucked.
Post by maudefindlay on Sept 25, 2023 12:18:06 GMT -5
@sameoldstory I'd guess that having those thoughts, while they are upsetting, are a good sign. You are beginning to heal as you are recognizing that isn't normal. You are likely going to have many moments like this where you encounter a situation and the response of others (like men you date for ex) are different than you expected and it will be because you were in an unhealthy relationship.
Truly random, but I started reading The Chain today. Itās set where my late cousin lived (and where her husband and two girls still live) AND thereās a character with her name in it. And her birthday is tomorrow. Itās kind of freaking me out.
Truly random, but I started reading The Chain today. Itās set where my late cousin lived (and where her husband and two girls still live) AND thereās a character with her name in it. And her birthday is tomorrow. Itās kind of freaking me out.
The Chain was so good! That is kind of weird though!
DS's 9th birthday is Friday. We're doing a family dinner on Saturday. My parents are driving in from SC for the weekend. My Aunt & Uncle can't come (my uncle farms and is harvesting). My MIL & FIL are TBD - apparently MIL got shingles about 3 weeks ago (DH never mentioned it to me lol) so no idea if she'll feel up to it. SIL and Nephew are also TBD (her husband's aunt passed and they might have to travel out of state to the funeral, but they aren't sure yet if they're going). I feel bad for DS - I don't know if it's time of year or what, but attendance to his birthday events always seems spotty.
Anyway, my Uncle is sending me a check so that I can buy gifts for DS. I have a couple ideas, but need one $20-25 thing. DS mentioned a very surface, passing interest in Dungeons and Dragons. I found a "starter set" on Amazon but I have no idea if it's worth a damn. I'll take any links or suggestions
Post by lilafowler on Sept 25, 2023 12:33:56 GMT -5
So the household washcloth saga is still ongoing. My bff said āI donāt think people take washcloths this seriously, do they? Who cares how someone else washes themself?ā
I then told her how this is a super serious issue that has been debated on my message board over the years with clear washcloth vs no washcloth camps and it gets very heated. She said sheās never once heard of the great washcloth debate and suggested āthe boardā may be making me more crazy about this than real life would.
Someone posted anonymously in our local mom's page that a 4 year old offended and hurt her feelings, so she had to leave the park and post about it on Facebook. Even though the caregiver apologized to the mom, and handled it appropriately by talking to the child. Can you imagine being so easily offended by random 4 year old, and having such lack of child development that you would pack up and leave and post about it? What he said was something like you can't play here.
She deleted after someone said, you left the park because of a 4 year old?
Post by Leeham Rimes on Sept 25, 2023 12:36:12 GMT -5
I donāt understand school. The kids came home with progress reports and neither had anything overtly negative on it. I went to look on the grade book and saw that Wesley had a lot of missing assignments. Wouldnāt that be important information for a progress report? School is HARD!
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham thatās free range, all natural I need ham