You guys.. nothing is done until it’s done, but I thought this day would never happen. BOTH sisters agree that we need to start looking for memory care. Alas, insurance runs out in two years. We will be able to supplement with her existing assets, but money spends fast when you’re talking about caring for someone with dementia.
186momx my close friends in your neck of the woods are horse people. One lives in Portland and the other in Camas, WA. They each always have at least one horse and sometimes a pony for their smaller kids as well. They do not want horses at their house so end up boarding them at barns and that gets very expensive.
xctsclrx all the activities are definitely our normal and we just got used to it because four kids and they really like the stuff they’re doing, and now the parents are friends too. Plus everything is close to us except for some weekends. No weeknight stuff is further than 15 minutes away. But the main way we make it work is that both DH and I are available most nights. One person can do it when necessary, but it’s pretty overwhelming.
Like Wednesdays DH and I both go to our offices, but DH works west coast market hours so he’s done early. DS2 does baseball and DS3 does clay art on-site at school 2:30-3:30, so we don’t have to do anything for that. DS3 has soccer 3:30-4:30, also at school but because he’s only in kindergarten, DH or I have to attend. Then have to head straight from that to drop DS1 at soccer at a park 10 minutes away at 4:45, then can pick up preschooler on the way home. Then DD goes to softball at 5:45 at a different park, then DS1 needs to be picked up at 6, then DD needs to be picked up at 8. The times and locations work so that one person can do it, but it is way more comfortable when we split it all in half! When one of us isn’t available I try to work in some carpools. And this is all with DD skipping her Wednesday soccer practice.
We have had years/seasons where all the activities are spread out and we have a couple things every night, and we’ve had times like now where everything seems to fall on the same couple of nights. I think I prefer having two crazy nights and two open nights vs less stuff every night.
We are all done by 8 pm every night but the occasional Friday when DD has a late flag football game.
k3am, it's a tough journey to find a place, and I know your area is more expensive. We found some kind of miracle place that was reasonably priced but we had to look rural about an hour away from my sister. It wasn't even a price reason, it just kind of worked out that way of all the places she toured and that had openings.
waverly, thankfully my moms part of CA is significantly more affordable than my part of CA.
we toured a place a couple years ago that middle sister and I both loved. I would kind of want to live there now. It was $$$$. My mom hated it. She didn't want to feel like she needed to get dressed up to go to dinner, or that her furniture was too shabby for the apartment. This was assisted living, but they also had memory care. My sister toured a couple places after that that were more "homey" and less expensive, so hopefully they have some options. She would also likely be okay with a home based memory care... if my sisters want to go that way, I'd support it, but I am not offering up the suggestion. (Personal hang up dating back to my daycare search days.)
She's got about $700k in equity in her house on paper, but I it would take a bit of $ and sweat to get it sale or renting ready, but that will have to happen one way or another at some point down the line anyways.
186momx yes, you're crazy. All horse people are crazy. BFF from college got a horse and boarded it for years. And then moved to Oregon so the horse could have more land, and now has an entire farm. SIL owned a polo ranch and still has a ton of polo horses. I think the number has whittled down significantly, but it's a lot. Cousin in law has several and loves them. So yes, everyone I know who has horses loves/is annoyed at having them, and yes, they're all crazy, but you'd be in good company.
Horse (Chloe 14 hands so considered pony class) can stay where it is at until their property sells. The barn DD was looking at is 4 city blocks from her gymnastic gym and offers AM feedings as long as it is left out the night before and boarding isn't as many $$$ as I first thought. DD is doing a lot of research of feed costs and since this is a giant boarding facility we will have lots of people to ask if we need help. At DH's old parents house the lady behind had horses so DD has been around them forever because I would always escape to her barn to visit. I'm tempted to ask if she does boarding?
The high school DD probably will be attending her zoned school has an equestrian team and the compete both English and western styles.
xctsclrx, carpools are my saving grace. H attends a few conventions in September and October each year, including this one. He recently took on some additional responsibilities at work that will likely call for more travel. AND he ski patrols on weekends. So...it's a lot of me and my kids.
As I mentioned earlier, I live in a rural community and most sports/activities are quite spread out. Hence, lots of parents, especially WPs, rely on carpooling. The parents I jam with appreciate my struggles and will likewise take help.
DD1 is an introvert times 10. Another benefit of carpooling for her is one-on-one time with peers. They can have real conversations or just be quiet together
I need to work on a carpool. I have a fairly good village when it comes to watching my kids for last minute stuff and things like that, but nothing for routine activities.
On a happy note I got my class schedule for next semester and I will officially be done with my master's program March 6 2024. So excited!