Do we have the same cold? Because it sucks. I'm also pretty sure that my cold is also in cahoots with seasonal allergies, and at this rate, I may never be 100%.
Signed, Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Dear DS,
Your phrasing drives me nuts. I can't remember if DD did this also, but everything you say sounds like people are terrible. Yesterday you told me you were worried that you'd get sick because "B spit in your mouth at soccer practice" which... not gonna lie, kind of sounds like something B would do if he were mad, but in reality, B was just talking to you excitedly and may have had some spittle spray that you may have inhaled because you were standing too close to him. But in no case did he "spit in your mouth."
Signed, The woman who used to get so annoyed at the concept of "boy moms" but now fully understands that boy shenanigans is verrrrrrrry different from girl shenanigans, even if it's all shenanigans.
PS: I'm also on a quest to increase the world's usage of the word "shenanigans" and "serendipity" and a couple other words that are fun to say but rarely used, like cahoots.
Post by supertrooper1 on Oct 18, 2023 11:09:06 GMT -5
k3am, I 100% support the use of the word shenanigans since that is the line in the Super Trooper movie leading up to my profile pic here.
Dear ex-H, I know you are covertly using tactics to parent alienate DS from me, but the latest is just annoying. Just because you became bougie with your food and now shop at Whole Foods doesn't mean the food at my house is of lesser quality. DS didn't even touch his sandwich he requested for lunch yesterday because it wasn't made from quality ingredients like you have at your house. Costco ham and Franz bread is just fine. Signed, Not buying Carl Buddig lunch meat like I know you and I both grew up on
You should have figured out your reorg before you started reorging and firing random people. You are alienating your entire North American staff, and we are losing people like crazy. I cannot take much more of this. Hence I said yes to a call with a headhunter on Friday.
Sincerely, Tired and Sad
Dear Ops people at our company,
I am supposed to be in strategy for our company. I am also in Sales. I cannot also do your effing job. As it is, I am 1) deciding what clients and work we should pursue, 2) pursuing it, and 3) more and more, delivering it. WTAF. We have almost 60,000 employees. What are the rest of you doing??
So, when one of your employees leaves, I shouldn’t have to tell you more than once to replace them on our projects. You should just DO THAT. It’s literally your job.
Dear FRANCES reporting system Why do you have to be so freaking hard to use. I just can't figure out why I fight with you every single Qtr when filing state reports. My head hurts payroll lady
Dear Clients I'm not your HR department. I can send you to website that will give you information and help you navigate FRANCES but I don't have answers or know all. Signed payroll and tax lady not human resources
Dear Orthodonitist Thank you for listening to us and changing DD's treatment plan. Head gear wasn't working. I know it is the quickest way but my kid needs her sleep and she isn't home and down long enough to wear it other times. Happy client
Dear self, nice job knocking things off your to-do list today, since this is your last day in the office for the next 1.5 weeks. Why can't you be this productive every workday?
Dear client, first you had to schedule your quarterly in-person board meeting on a Friday when I normally WFH Fridays, and of course it's the day before we leave town for our family vacation. Then you added an event after the meeting. Then you added another in-person event that I should go to Thursday afternoon, too. Then dinner afterward. Could we please stop adding events that I need to attend so I can get myself together for this trip?
Dear DH, I know you don't feel like you have the capacity to plan ahead when you're overwhelmed by daily life. But please respond to my email with your preferences among the options for activities during our Hawaii vacation next week. I already feel behind in planning after we switched from Maui to Oahu, and I'd like to have a couple things booked for us to do. All you have to do is say "yay or nay" to each idea - I made this as easy as possible for you.
Dear 3 elementary school kids, it was so nice to hear how great you're all doing during our parent/teacher conferences yesterday, even if I was a bit surprised that DD hasn't put in quite enough work to get As in every subject. But for DD, I guess on the other hand I'm mildly impressed that you realize that 6th grade grades don't matter, and you're putting extra effort into the subjects you care about, rather than just doing an extra hour of reading to bump your english grade up form a B+ to an A? I would have wanted all As just to have all As, but to each their own I guess...
When I’m telling the tutor that we are canceling next week because we will be out of town the next day please do not jump in and say we can still do tutoring. I had a reason for saying what I did and I don’t need your knee jerk reactions to anything when you clearly didn’t think about it all. DS also had basketball tryouts that YOU requested that he do, soccer practice and has to pack. I also have to pack. You didn’t find the tutor and book her, you don’t facilitate the sessions, and you don’t pay her, so why are you involved? I know! It’s because everyone has to have an opinion.
Why can't fingerprinting work? Seriously I was in my company's HR office for forty minutes and the machine could not read my ring fingers. Really? I know you're digressing in many ways, but fingerprinting? Really?
And why do the other Barbies say "nevermind" to Midge (the pregnant Barbie)? Rude.
And is it mean of me not to want my former neighbor to park in front of my house? Especially when I've had a long day and just want to be alone?
Post by supertrooper1 on Oct 19, 2023 11:05:49 GMT -5
dglvrk2 , I used to take fingerprints almost daily, and the ring finger is the hardest! Most people can't bend their hand and roll the ring finger enough for the machine to capture it correctly. Ink is messy, but it was so much easier than the computer version.
Dear supervisor, I was shocked in my annual review that you think I'm the next "Deb" on our team when she retires in a few years. You fittingly called Deb the glue that holds our team together even though we have an awesome team that works well together, and she is so incredibly knowledgeable about one of our SME topics. I think I phone it in most days and think there are other people on our team that would fill her shoes better. But it's nice to hear that I may be minimizing my contribution to our team. Signed, Appreciative employee
Dear DH, We are entering puberty with two girls. Stop pointing out that they are getting acne. Yes, that's going to happen, even if I find them the perfect skincare regime. Yes, they are getting moodier. And yes, that's going to get way, way worse before it gets better. You know what doesn't help their attitudes? You making comments about their acne. Come on man. You better buckle up for the hormones when their periods kick in. Shit's going to get really real at that point! Signed, Don't try to understand the girls, leave that to me please
Please opine. Lunch meeting with a client coming into the office and everyone wil be in a small conference room. Sandwiches of each person's choice ordered in advance. Is tuna an acceptable choice?
Okay, so I’m not crazy… but maybe others will chime in later and say tuna is totally fine.
In a room of 6 people, TWO ordered tuna. One on my company’s side, one on the client side. I spent most of the meeting trying not to inhale through my nose.
k3am no tuna. I really hate it when my dad brings in tuna.
Dear DH You are sick, vomiting, coughing, sniffles. Don't come home early with. O explanation and say I'm napping in the camper. Walk in 3 hours later and sit next to me on the couch. Keep your sick germs to yourself. Wife PS you are stupid for planning on working tomorrow 🙄
Dear fellow horse owners Thanks for giving it to me straight. I really can't see spending $500+ a month on horse care plus all the hours caring for said horse. Almost horse owner
WPs I went from 75% okay with the idea to about 90% not okay. I may have done some math and sticker shocked myself out of being a horse owner for a kid who can't work or drive to care for said horse. Not DD favorite person right now Financial mom who is breaking hearts
Dear DH again, You know what I do for a living right? Director of Marketing? Over 15 years in the industry? Why are you listening to what one of your bartenders who likes to do marketing for all of your strategy? When the conversation that I overhear includes things like "Well, I think we'd only want to email people we've already worked with, not the leads that never turned into anything" then the advice you're getting is wrong. And I'm kind of confused about your plan to use LinkedIn to generate event booking business when you can't even consistently take a picture once a week to post on social media. This whole thing is... something special. If you want my help, I will sit down with you and map everything out. I can't maintain, but I can get you guys started! You're hurting my soul right now. Love, Your smart wife who does this for a living.
twinmomma, same same with my DH. 6 years in to running his own company, he's finally realizing that I can help him with marketing and business strategy... but now I don't have time to do it...