Baby/toddler cough and cold etiquette?

[wanderingback]

I know there have been great debates about kids and going around others while sick. So as a first time mom, what is the etiquette?

Assume the rest of the questions are a kid with no fever and acting normal/well-
Are you all testing for covid with cold symptoms?
I assume people don’t skip daycare/pre k with a mild runny nose and/or cough but what about non essential activities like library story time or a kid’s birthday party? What other things do you consider?

My daughter just started daycare (11 months old) and I know the runny nose and cough is coming haha.

[VillainV]

I think there are going to be a lot of different opinions on this.

For me, if I had reason to think my kid was actually sick, I kept him home. So, if he was acting off or tired, or had been around someone else sick, running a fever, not eating normally, or otherwise acting not quite normally — AND had symptoms like runny nose, cough, etc.

If it was just a cough or runny nose with no fever or change in behavior, I’d probably keep doing normal stuff. If I kept my kid home every time he had a runny nose, we never would have left the house.

[beerlover]

When my kid was that little (in blissful pre-Covid times) I did the same as VillainV, If he had a fever he was obviously home, or if he was just miserable he'd stay home, but otherwise I sent him off to daycare or other places with a runny nose or little cough if he was otherwise feeling/behaving fine, because he basically had a runny nose all the time for his for 2 years of life.

I am very lucky that as a 7 year old, he does not get sick much at all, but I do not test for Covid for every stuffy nose alone. If there is a stuffy nose and other symptoms, like cough or fever, then I do.

[rhian]

Our daycare has pretty strict and clear rules about when you can/cannot send your kid in, so for that, we just follow their rules. They require a negative covid test to attend with minor cold symptoms (no fever, otherwise behaving normally) - we do that and send him.

We do try to avoid non-essential indoor activities and stick to outdoor things with minor cold symptoms (e.g. going to the playground instead of the library). The rule we generally use for ourselves is if we'd feel uncomfortable if he were totally healthy and another child were exhibiting the same symptoms at the activity, we don't attend. Our son is still under 2 so too young to mask - I think there are situations where we currently skip but would feel comfortable going if he were old enough to attend masked.

[noodleoo]

My kids are older (5 and 8.5) but my threshold for Covid testing is based on how they look. If they look run down and feel warm along with other cold symptoms (eg. runny nose), I test them. When DD2 had Covid, she had a runny nose and a borderline fever (like 99.5). I was shocked when it turned positive. So if my kids temps are elevated at all, I usually test them to be safe. However, it is easier to test an older kid than a baby, so I'm not sure I would do the same for a 1 year old. So far they've only had Covid once back in 2022, so we go through a lot of tests. We still have a stockpile from when they were covered by insurance, I might not test quite so frequently once those run out and we have to pay for them (sucks but that is reality).

For activities/playdates, it is pretty much the same threshold. If they just have a runny nose and are acting normal (no fever) we won't cancel. Like others said, we would never go anywhere otherwise. However, I think we stay home more now than we did preCovid out of fear of infecting other people (with anything, not just Covid). Last winter I felt like almost anything we planned ended up canceled because someone was sick. It was a rough winter. So I'm preparing for that again this year.

[noodleoo]

Oct 19, 2023 8:50:51 GMT -5 rhian said:

Our daycare has pretty strict and clear rules about when you can/cannot send your kid in, so for that, we just follow their rules. They require a negative covid test to attend with minor cold symptoms (no fever, otherwise behaving normally) - we do that and send him.

We do try to avoid non-essential indoor activities and stick to outdoor things with minor cold symptoms (e.g. going to the playground instead of the library). The rule we generally use for ourselves is if we'd feel uncomfortable if he were totally healthy and another child were exhibiting the same symptoms at the activity, we don't attend. Our son is still under 2 so too young to mask - I think there are situations where we currently skip but would feel comfortable going if he were old enough to attend masked.

This is a good rule and I use it too.  Illnesses feel more disruptive than they used to.  If DD2 gets Covid, she's automatically out of daycare for 10 days, which is really hard to manage with 2 working parents, so we're more cautious about trying to avoid getting sick (and spreading it).

[Susie]

We're not testing for covid for every runny nose/post nasal drip cough, and we're continuing to attend preschool/school through those.  We dial back non-essential activities during those periods partly to reduce exposure to others, and partly just to get the kiddo extra rest to kick it faster.

We test for covid when my mom-dar says something is off.  You know your kid.  That might mean fever alone, or cold symptoms + unusual malaise or crankiness, or something else.  I don't have a better metric.  So far, my 4 yo had covid once and had a very clear 102+ fever, so that was easy to catch.  My DD hasn't had it yet AFAIK.  We tested her daily when DS, H, and I all had it together. 

We keep updated on all boosters (all of us have the 2023-24 booster), and feel like this combination is a reasonable balance.

[meanie]

Our kids were little way before covid times, but I don't think we would be testing for light cold symptoms. In the daycare years they had a runny nose and dry cough from October - April so we still did stuff unless they had a temp or a really bad sounding cough.

If we were going to someone's house we gave them a heads up - hey, DS has a runny nose/cough, we don't need to keep them home for it but it's up to you - 99% of the time people didn't care.

[expectantsteelerfan]

In my circle of friends, we let each other know if our kids are sick before getting together for anything and let the other decide if they want to be around us. We are still testing for covid, but basically only if someone is sick enough to need to stay home from school, etc. But if someone has covid we still isolate as much as possible.

[quesyrah]

I have found that people have wildly different opinions on this.

Runny nose and mild cough without any other symptoms- we continued about normal activities.

Vomiting and fevers I followed the “24 hour rule” and we stayed home until 24 hours past symptoms ending.

Currently, we don’t test for Covid every time
someone has the sniffles. If we had prolonged sickness, severe sickness or unusual symptoms, we do test. We all ended up with Covid (for the first time) in Sept. DH called his employer and asked how to proceed and he was told he needed to stay home for 10 days and then could come back with a negative test. So we all just hunkered down.

[sdlaura]

Yes, you will have a lot of minor colds this winter and it’s not feasible to stay home for every runny nose or cough. Like a PP said, we still go to daycare with minor symptoms, but if we’re going to a birthday party or other optional activity, we reach out and say ‘hey, DC has a runny nose, happy to keep her home if you’d prefer.’ I always say no problem to that stuff since I have four kids and someone always has something, but for a family with one young child they may feel differently.

One of my friends has kids who seem to get a fever with every cold, and they ended up having to have a nanny instead of using daycare because the kids were excluded for fever so often. On the flip side, my kids almost never get a fever - so it’s really hard to use fever as a judge of how serious an illness is. Like another PP said, I used my mom instincts. If kid seems happy and energetic then I’m not testing for COVID or keeping child home. But if they seem achy and lethargic or extra fussy then I may do that.

[waverly]

We followed the daycare protocol for illnesses. Typically these centered around fever, vomiting/ diarrhea. There wasn't Covid back then, but we do not test for every cold. Daycare might have a protocol on when to test.

Now that they are older we follow the school protocols.

For playdates for a cold, I don't check in with people, but anything else I would say hey we are experiencing X, and let that person decide if they wanted to see us. Usually anything beyond of a cold, we both know we shouldn't see each other. But there may be times when you want to give someone a heads up about a cold especially if it is a more severe variety.

Library story time and birthday party still probably fine with a small cold, but anything more than that then I would cancel. Bad colds, fevers etc. If they will appear sick and bother other people even if they aren't really sick then I would also keep them home. Like blowing their nose all the time and then touching everything. As they get older, the colds become more contained and less touching everything, so then as they get older they could have a cold but outwardly appear totally fine.

[icedcoffee]

Daycare:  We went as long as no fever or positive covid test.

Non essential:  We skipped if there was fever positive covid test, but we also skipped if it was the first few days of a NEW cough or cold.  I'd often call whoever the activity is with and let them decide.  Like "Here's the story with my kid.  You in or want me to stay home?"

[jorja]

I’ve never kept my kid back from stuff for mild upper respiratory stuff unless they are actually acting ill, or obviously if they have a fever/vomiting. In that case I go by the rule of 24 hours after last fever/vomit before taking them out.

If we stayed home for every cold we would quite literally never go anywhere. We do let people know if we’re doing something with others.

I test for COVID with fevers or anytime my mom/nurse senses tell me it might be more than a cold, lol.

[loira]

I feel this is so specific to situation as well. My H works part time and we both WFH so it's relatively easy to keep DD home if she has a cold even if it's not COVID. I think the general wisdom is to definitely keep them home if there's a fever or vomiting/diarrhea, but beyond that I think it's kid/needs/circumstance dépendant.

[thebreakfastclub]

My son would have a runny rose and sometimes a cough while in daycare, but he never had a fever or lethargy. So we just lived life normally, went to daycare etc.
At age 10, I'm glad to say he's never had a bad cold or missed school. I would not test for covid if the baby just had a runny nose and cough but was acting normally otherwise.