Back to Monday...

[mae0111]

How was the weekend?  What's up this week?

[mae0111]

It was a busy weekend, and it will be a busy week. DH worked all weekend after putting in 90 hours during the week. So it left all of the running around to me.

Friday I took the kids to a football game at school. I ran into a few old friends that I hadn't seen in years and the kids had a great time, so that was nice. DD2 melted down when we came home so I put myself to bed at 9pm and let DH handle it since he has been completely checked out for the past few weeks.

Saturday I woke up with a migraine due to the crazy weather. But DH worked, so I got DD2 to her soccer game, came home and worked on a project for DH for his work, then drove DD1 to a friend's house over 30 mins away. But she lives near my parents, so DD2 and I swung by to see my dad since he just had his knee replaced. Came home and collapsed on the couch. DD1 got a ride home and her new thing is inviting everyone in to visit when she gets dropped off. Hard no, DD1. I looked and felt like a trashbag. No company please and thank you.

Sunday I woke up early to clean the house and start laundry. Drove DD2 to soccer tryouts at 8am. Took the dog for a long walk and raced back to pick her up. More work on DH's project and laundry before driving DD2 to her soccer game an hour away. Worst soccer game in history, they lost in a big way to the last place team. DH left for his offsite while I was gone. Drove an hour home, more work for DH and more laundry while breaking up fights. I finally went to sleep in my office at 10pm while there was a huge fight about who got to use the bathroom first... we have 5 bathrooms, but they both needed to poop on the same toilet at the same time...

The morning started with DD1 refusing to get up, so the kids were late for school. I have two deadlines for work that I pushed off to help DH with his work (I will be paid for my time, so not a total loss). DH is gone until Wednesday afternoon, so I will continue to manage homework, piano, soccer, field hockey, all the driving.

I already told DH that I'm going to the beach house alone once he gets home.

[twinmomma]

Our weekend ended up super busy, but all good stuff. And I'm officially done my finance and accounting classes! I made it through the seven weeks and I'm so relieved.

We dropped off a ton of pumpkins and supplies at my office on Friday night. The kids had a blast - played in the game room for a while, got free snacks and drinks, raided the promo closet for stress balls. I thought it was so funny that they were having so much fun in an empty office building, they didn't even want to do anything else that night.

Saturday night we took them to this place that's like a mix of escape rooms and physical challenges and we had so much fun! Our favorite room was the floor is lava one, where you had to complete puzzles, but if the alarm sounded you had to use the rock wall holds everywhere to get off the floor until it was all clear again. It was such a genuinely fun family night out, no one complained, the kids were all working together, and DH and I were even getting into it, crawling through tunnels and doing ridiculous stuff.

Yesterday exH came over to play D&D with the kids and stayed for six hours. Ugh. The kids absolutely loved it though. I will say this - exH does a great job keeping kids engaged in the game. He uses voices and music to make it more immersive and they ate it up. It's like Mrs Doubtfire - he's fun for the kids, but terrible at being an actual parent and grown up. Case in point: the same man who cries poor to me about every single kid thing just got a full sleeve tattoo, which clearly isn't cheap.

Poor DH though, he just hung in the bedroom and watched football. It was pretty awkward for him, especially seeing his son get so into the game with exH. But he was a good sport and we sucked it up for the kids. Our lot in life is to always take the high road with the exes in the hopes that it pays off in the long run.

[mae0111]

twinmomma, I think it's amazing that you were able to have your exH in your house for so long for the kids. I promise you that they will remember, and they will eventually understand what it took for you to make that happen. And they will love you even more for it.

[mustardseed2007]

DD had fun at a friend's Birthday party, did some estate paperwork stuff, DS had rehearsal and I helped with costumes, adult halloween party Saturday night that was very fun and we made Pete the Cat and the book cover of Westing Game for Literary Pumpkins.

I had intended on really decluttering the living room and kids playroom but did none of that this weekend. I did clean though.

[librarychica]

I am not sure how this weekend went. On one hand, I successfully executed all my responsibilities. Kids and I volunteered, I supervised spontaneous sleepover, Halloween play date a success, bff came and H helped her take the deep freeze from our garage.

OTOH, H and I got into a huge argument. Idk. It like started with petty who-maintains-more and spiraled. I am annoyed he keeps taking side work even though he has done this as long as I’ve known him. He seems annoyed that I commit to doing things that he’d rather not — like Halloween-themed play dates — and then he has to help with them. Then it turned into how I don’t feel like we are connecting anymore. I just feel like we live increasingly parallel lives. He insists he loves me and that we must just be out of sync somewhere and if I could just tell him what I need then he will provide it. then he said some random thing about one of our kids and for some reason I just fell apart. Like, completely hysterical.

And I cannot even explain any of it. H and I have always pursued a lot of our own independent interests and it’s always been fine! I was even somewhat proud of us that we didn’t need to be joined at the hip. He’s always worked a lot because he loves his work and it’s also always been fine — I ask him to pull back when it’s too much and he usually does! We have always bickered over our misaligned cleaning feels — and it’s been fine! I cannot explain why none of it is fine anymore.

Also I am not generally someone who breaks down in hysterics.

I woke up late to work this morning, dehydrated and gritty with a very “wtf was that?” feeling.

[waverly]

We had staff inservice on Friday, so that went pretty well. I have some work issues, but can't get too much into them here because it's HR stuff.

DS had a soccer tournament, and I made DH take him. They lost all 3 games, but also the spectrum of age range means they are playing high schoolers. Heard after his team left the field, "Some of those guys have beards". DS is in 7th grade. DS has basketball try outs tonight, so I hope they go OK.

DD won her Sat game, and they lost a really tough game Sunday. It was DD's fault they lost because she punted to a player who then scored the goal so yeah she was upset because she knew it instantly that it was her fault. So then I had to console her afterwards. And it was already a tough game because there was lot of pushing and shoving and the ref wasn't calling it. And there went our 6 game winning streak. So anyway, we are gone this weekend so basically that is the end of the season for us which is great because I am ready to be done.

DD went to the Eras movie again with about 10 girls, so that was super fun for her. DH was crabby after the tournament, and did paperwork the whole rest of the day, so I decided to go to bed at 8:30 because I was nodding off. He kept asking me to come back and I was like nope, this bed is comfortable.

[186momx]

DH stayed home sick (flu) Friday and spent it out in the camper. Friday night I texted asking if he was up for some soup. He responded yes so, I was cooking it, and he comes in and goes to give me a big hug. I told him to get out and keep his germs to himself and I would leave the soup inside the camper door. Dude, I don't want your germs or cold or whatever and just because you feel better doesn't mean you are better. Saturday he was all mopey and annoyed because we didn't have plans and DD and I kept avoiding him. He slept back out in the camper. Sunday was the same thing, and he was like, but I feel better. No DH might say you are better, but you don't look better.

My community post office mailbox was involved in an accident mid-September. I put my mail on hold the previous Friday. They lost my mail and had been delivering it so we had to sit and watch for the mail delivery to get out mail. I was so stinking frustrated with the postal service and how horrible our branch is run. I love the mail guys at my office post office, and they move 100 times faster.

I decided to not buy Chloe the horse. The monthly housing/feeding/caring bill was going to put too much of a strain on our financial budget let alone the amount of time DD and I was going to need to find care for Chloe on a daily basis. I'm breaking the news to DD tonight.

[waverly]

librarychica, I'm sorry that sounds rough. Is it more the fact that men seem to be able to do whatever they want while women pick up the rest (the patriarchy!)? Or more like he isn't really trying with date nights stuff like that? "Tell me what you need" just seems to put the burden on you when maybe you have already communicated this.

[186momx]

librarychica, I tend to have a huge hysterical breakdown once a year. It normally happens during tax season when I'm stressed and pushed so thin and DH isn't helping out with anything. All my friends tell me to give him lists and tell him exactly what I want done but the mental load on that is huge when I'm already stretched thin and shouldn't he see the overflowing trash or the need to pick up dog poop. My only suggestion is to have you both cut back on some of the extra things and maybe have a few quieter weekends especially with all the holiday stuff starting to get crazy.

mae0111, try and find some time for yourself this week!

[campermom]

This weekend I used a chainsaw for the first time. There were 4 fruit trees that I just don’t want to deal w anymore. No more trimming, pruning, picking up limbs, overgrown w fruit I don’t have time to treat or pick.

Plus ExH took his new wife on a tour of my yard to see “his fruit trees” and pretended it was out childs idea.

Literally. Get off my lawn.

[waverly]

Oct 23, 2023 17:51:44 GMT -5 campermom said:

This weekend I used a chainsaw for the first time. There were 4 fruit trees that I just don’t want to deal w anymore. No more trimming, pruning, picking up limbs, overgrown w fruit I don’t have time to treat or pick.

Plus ExH took his new wife on a tour of my yard to see “his fruit trees” and pretended it was out childs idea.

Literally. Get off my lawn.

Eww gross to the “fruit tree tour.”

I call it play stupid games win stupid prizes.

[dglvrk2]

mae0111 , I hope you get some much deserved alone time this week. My daughters and yours seem about the same age. They too fight over stupid things like who can use the chosen bathroom. (We have two in our house and generally one is free.) I'm over breaking up fights too. I'm here in solidarity!

librarychica , Hugs! I'm a very independent person too. H and I have had a few clashes because of this while normally we thrive on being happy both together and apart. It's a tough balance. If you're by nature independent, you need to go your own way. But you still need others in your life. I really appreciate what waverly said about the burden of naming what you need. It's likely not just one thing, right? And is his idea of quality time with you different than yours? I ask because my H and I have fallen into this, especially after having kids. I have to be very specific about what I want and - let's be honest - what's realistic. (His idea of quality time is a whole weekend away or a weekend with his parents and me - yes, including his parents!; mine is just dinner somewhere that's not a chain restaurant, without kids or in-laws.)

My weekend was goodish. Saturday was great but exhausting. We had DD2's soccer tournament and a nephew's basketball tournament. Another nephew had a birthday, which was the best part of the weekend. My running "wife" and I attempted to run 9 miles on Sunday morning. We made it six. Both of us were exhausted. I had a bunch of work loose ends to tie up and was able to do this. Sunday was solo-parenting (H at ski patrol training). Most of this was fine, but DD1 said some pretty shitty things to DD2. They were completely undeserved. My own sister was downright mean to me at times in our childhood and it really impacted my self-esteem and confidence. DD1's treatment of DD2 can certainly trigger me. She's done this before.  I really struggle to deal with such conflict. Later Sunday night DD1 apologized to me. I told her that her younger sister cannot unhear such words, that they'll always stay with her.  I wish I could prevent these things before they happen....

This week is "normal" H is in town. He's drowning in work, for legitimate reasons. I'm not, so I'm doing more of the shuttling kids this week. Ds are both on minimum day schedules because of parent teacher conferences. They both seem to need this break from school and were happy yesterday with the additional downtime. Their conferences went well too.

[supertrooper1]

I'm back to work today after a 3-day weekend. Beau and I had a good time camping and riding. We rode about 90 miles over 2 days and I'm tired! We rode 2 trails that we had been on before but found some pretty cool offshoots that we'd never been on before. Hunting was in full swing but we managed to stay away from the hunters unless we were on the road. This was our last trip there for the season due to hunting, snow, and other weekend commitments.

I have been saving money for about a year to be able to take my parents to Hawaii, and I finally reached my goal and was able to get dates lined up. We're going the week before Christmas and I'm excited. I booked the condo last night and am working on booking our flights. My parents are 75 and 80 and have never traveled much due to being tied down to a dairy farm and not having the funds to do so. I'm excited that I can do this for them.

[mae0111]

supertrooper1, that's amazing! What a wonderful gift for you all.