This is my second kid, but my first was a unicorn that potty trained herself at 19 mo. At the time I did not feel like she was showing any signs, but she kept taking her diaper off so I brought out the little potty and she basically peed on the floor once and forever after that on the potty. Like she's literally never had an accident past that point.
Now with my second idk what is normal vs not. I tried potty training around 19 mo and it was constant accidents so I gave up very quickly. She's 2 now and is always taking her diaper off and asking to sit on the potty (both big and little) but has yet to pee on it. I've been doing naked time the past two days and she's peed on the floor a few times as soon as I leave the room, and never on the potty. So anyways idk if I should throw in the towel again and try later? Or if this is the more typical potty training experience of accidents for a few days before it clicks.
It's also hard with my older daughters schedule because I do need to leave the house for school pickup/drop off so I throw a diaper on for that, which I think is technically wrong?
Post by gretchenindisguise on Oct 24, 2023 17:01:35 GMT -5
I think it sounds like you're trying to be casual about it, but with both of my kids I needed to make a dedicated potty training 3-day weekend where that's all we did. We hyped it up, bought undies, had rewards, pumped them full of fluids, etc.
How committed are you to potty training at 2? I think it can be done, but it’s a shitload of work. Your first was absolutely a unicorn.
I think potty training is much more common closer to 3. We did the 3 day method also. With DD1 it worked at 2.75. With DD2, we tried at 2.75 but gave up and then tried again shortly after 3 and she got it. At that age, I think if you tried it for a decent amount of time and it’s becoming a battle, I’d give up and try again in 3-6 months.
How committed are you to potty training at 2? I think it can be done, but it’s a shitload of work. Your first was absolutely a unicorn.
I know 😭🤣
I kind of want to done because all the preschools/daycare/drop in care programs here have a very strict potty trained at 3 policy. Like one very close to my house has a two strike policy of two accidents and you're out of the program. So I'd like her to be solidly potty trained by 3. But, idk if it would just be her age that gets her to fewer accidents or being out of diapers for a longer period of time. I also cloth diaper and am over it lol but that isn't as motivating.
How committed are you to potty training at 2? I think it can be done, but it’s a shitload of work. Your first was absolutely a unicorn.
I know 😭🤣
I kind of want to done because all the preschools/daycare/drop in care programs here have a very strict potty trained at 3 policy. Like one very close to my house has a two strike policy of two accidents and you're out of the program. So I'd like her to be solidly potty trained by 3. But, idk if it would just be her age that gets her to fewer accidents or being out of diapers for a longer period of time. I also cloth diaper and am over it lol but that isn't as motivating.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
Personally I think it’s much easier to potty train kids around age 2. I’d do the 3 day method minus sleep and get it done. Three year olds get too many opinions, plus smellier diapers, not for me. My kids trained at 22 months, 26 months and 23 months. We also cloth diapered.
I kind of want to done because all the preschools/daycare/drop in care programs here have a very strict potty trained at 3 policy. Like one very close to my house has a two strike policy of two accidents and you're out of the program. So I'd like her to be solidly potty trained by 3. But, idk if it would just be her age that gets her to fewer accidents or being out of diapers for a longer period of time. I also cloth diaper and am over it lol but that isn't as motivating.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
My mom has been in early childhood for like 40+ years and was shocked, because it's also like an ADA or something issue? Shes always saying there is no way she could implement that at her school. But literally every single school you have to be potty trained by 3 before entering. And waitlists are so long everywhere they can do it
I kind of want to done because all the preschools/daycare/drop in care programs here have a very strict potty trained at 3 policy. Like one very close to my house has a two strike policy of two accidents and you're out of the program. So I'd like her to be solidly potty trained by 3. But, idk if it would just be her age that gets her to fewer accidents or being out of diapers for a longer period of time. I also cloth diaper and am over it lol but that isn't as motivating.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
This is very common for private preschools around here (meaning schools that are just part time preschools, not full-day preschool/daycare programs).
In fact, when we were touring morning preschools, I can’t think of a single one that *didn’t* require potty training to be in the 3s class.
Personally I think it’s much easier to potty train kids around age 2. I’d do the 3 day method minus sleep and get it done. Three year olds get too many opinions, plus smellier diapers, not for me. My kids trained at 22 months, 26 months and 23 months. We also cloth diapered.
ohhh this is a good point too. When my oldest turned three she fought us on absolutely everything just to fight and I remember specifically thinking if potty training and being so glad that wasn't another thing we were fighting on.
I think I'm going to give it one more day, and if we get nothing in the potty give it a break for a little bit. Maybe the holidays my H will be home and older kid out of school so one of us an be more home bound.
I would wait a little. 2.5-3 seems more age appropriate. I also had a unicorn child who potty trained himself at 2.5 with no accidents; we tried it once closer to 2 and he was not ready.
Most kids I know have potty trained between 2.5-3.5
My DD/1st PTed on her own initiative. She started asking to use the potty around 1.5, and we spent a year on and off the potty. It was obnoxious, all the hours and stories on the bathroom floor and M&Ms that didn't go anywhere, but I didn't want to tell her no. She saw older friends doing it at daycare and wanted to do it like them, but her body wasn't really ready until the summer she was 2.5. Then she got it in the space of a weekend, with no pushing from us. It just... happened.
My DS/2nd kid was much less motivated. Age 2 ticked by, no interest, 3, still no interest, 3.5, still no interest... I was starting to worry if he'd ever want to! But his preschool 3's teacher, bless him, felt he was ready in March and took it on to hype the undies and deal with the accidents. He wanted DS to be able to move up out of 3s in June, and the 3s class is way better positioned for the PTing experience than the 3-4's or 4's in his particular school building. Thank god for Mr. Jared. DS got it in the space of about 3 days, pretty much all in school, at about 3y10m. Pee and poop training happened in the same week.
So those experiences were pretty different. We didn't really ever "give up," but then, we weren't in a position to have to because DD got it before we pushed, and we waited much longer for DS to be ready before we really went for it.
Both of my kids learned directly on a toilet. DD learned at home on a toilet with a built in kid seat, and DS learned primarily at school on the preschool-height toilets there.
But literally every single school you have to be potty trained by 3 before entering. And waitlists are so long everywhere they can do it
This kind of pressure sucks so bad. I'm sorry you don't have a good alternative.
There's one "children's school" in our town that requires kids to be PTed to attend for preschool. By reputation it's a very good program, but I had no interest in that pressure! They're not trying to be dicks about it, it's a licensing issue as I understand it. They are licensed as a school, not as a daycare, and diaper changing is one of the differences. But their youngest classroom is ages 2-3, and I've known a number of parents really intent on attending there, and really stressed about the PTing requirement. It was not a fit for us, but at least we had other good options.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Oct 25, 2023 10:33:15 GMT -5
Potty training my oldest was a shit show (no pun intended!). I started too early because she had to be trained for preschool at age 3, so I figured we needed 6 months to get there. She was not ready, but I wouldn't give up.
With my second, I used the same method my mom used on me - brainwashing, lol. Only my mom did it when I turned 2, but I did it when DD2 turned 3. For literally months leading up to her third birthday, every diaper change we'd have a conversation about how "soon it was going to be her birthday, and guess what? 3 year olds don't wear diapers. They go on the BIG GIRL POTTY!" "What happens when you turn 3? All the diapers go in the trash!"
I did a little too good of a job -- she *literally* went into her room, gathered all the diapers, and brought them to the trash can in the kitchen when she woke up on her 3rd birthday. I'd intended to have her wear them for naps and bedtime, but she wouldn't, and she ended up not needing them. She never wore a diaper or pull up again, and she was 100% fine within a week. (Now, she did end up having massive constipation issues that took a while to sort out, but I don't *think* that was related.)
But literally every single school you have to be potty trained by 3 before entering. And waitlists are so long everywhere they can do it
There's one "children's school" in our town that requires kids to be PTed to attend for preschool. By reputation it's a very good program, but I had no interest in that pressure! They're not trying to be dicks about it, it's a licensing issue as I understand it. They are licensed as a school, not as a daycare, and diaper changing is one of the differences.
Yes, I think this is the key difference for the preschools that are “just schools” where I am as well. Although to Jalapeñomel’s point, I don’t know that you’d get kicked out after only 2 accidents - I don’t get that vibe from my DD’s school - but I’m sure at some point there’d be a conversation about whether the school was the right fit for the kid if the potty training wasn’t working.
If they have never peed in the potty before then there isn't that mind body connection of "oh this is what I should do, and also I should use my mind to release those muscles so that I can pee now."
So basically, if nothing is happening then it kind of sounds like it isn't really technically potty training yet at this point, so you can stop and there would be no problems with that.
If you want to keep going, you might try setting them on the potty first thing in the morning when they wake up and haven't peed yet to set up that mind/ body connection. See if that works at all. It did with DD who also magically trained herself, but not with DS who was a nightmare. From there, if you see any progress you can decide if you want to really pursue it or not.
If she isn't there yet, but you still want to pursue it then you should be looking for continued improvement and less accidents every day. Once you get past the 50%-75% then keep going all the way. If you still aren't even reaching that kind of consistency, then I would break for several months.
Post by majesty318 on Oct 25, 2023 13:16:07 GMT -5
Just joining in with my son who will be 3 in November. Over the summer he expressed interest and peed and pooped a few times on the potty. Now he refuses both at home and at daycare. Also WTF to the school with the 2 strikes rule! I am trying to just be patient but getting soooooo tired of diapers!
I kind of want to done because all the preschools/daycare/drop in care programs here have a very strict potty trained at 3 policy. Like one very close to my house has a two strike policy of two accidents and you're out of the program. So I'd like her to be solidly potty trained by 3. But, idk if it would just be her age that gets her to fewer accidents or being out of diapers for a longer period of time. I also cloth diaper and am over it lol but that isn't as motivating.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
It’s really common here because preschools are licensed differently than daycares. Any facility not licensed as a day care is legally not allowed to help with any toileting routine. Every stand-alone preschool I looked at accepted kids starting at age 3, but required them to be able to go into the bathroom on their own. They could help with snaps/zippers before or after, but they weren’t supposed to be in the bathroom with kids. There were definitely occasional accidents in the classroom, but no specific number of strikes policy. There are preschools available that can help take non-potty trained 3 year olds, but their license is more complicated so it’s just not as common.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
It’s really common here because preschools are licensed differently than daycares. Any facility not licensed as a day care is legally not allowed to help with any toileting routine. Every stand-alone preschool I looked at accepted kids starting at age 3, but required them to be able to go into the bathroom on their own. They could help with snaps/zippers before or after, but they weren’t supposed to be in the bathroom with kids. There were definitely occasional accidents in the classroom, but no specific number of strikes policy. There are preschools available that can help take non-potty trained 3 year olds, but their license is more complicated so it’s just not as common.
hmmm this is interesting. It was incredibly difficult to find a program that accepted kids before age 3 with my oldest. Public preschool is basically non-existent (you need an IEP and it's still difficult to get in). I can think of two programs that are part time, everything else is only 5 days/full day so I always viewed all of it as daycare but I wonder if it's not technically... I legit don't know how people work here without tons of family help. It's why I'm a SAHM, but would like to eventually work again lol.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
It’s really common here because preschools are licensed differently than daycares. Any facility not licensed as a day care is legally not allowed to help with any toileting routine. Every stand-alone preschool I looked at accepted kids starting at age 3, but required them to be able to go into the bathroom on their own. They could help with snaps/zippers before or after, but they weren’t supposed to be in the bathroom with kids. There were definitely occasional accidents in the classroom, but no specific number of strikes policy. There are preschools available that can help take non-potty trained 3 year olds, but their license is more complicated so it’s just not as common.
Apparently I wasn’t clear: I don’t take issue with the potty training; I take issue with kicking a kid out who has accidents.
Omg, this sounds so snotty! Not my intent at all! Just trying to say that I think it’s fine to have potty training for preschool, but it’s bananas to kick a kid out who has accidents.
Wtf. I would not send my child to a place like this as it’s totally not developmentally appropriate.
It’s really common here because preschools are licensed differently than daycares. Any facility not licensed as a day care is legally not allowed to help with any toileting routine. Every stand-alone preschool I looked at accepted kids starting at age 3, but required them to be able to go into the bathroom on their own. They could help with snaps/zippers before or after, but they weren’t supposed to be in the bathroom with kids. There were definitely occasional accidents in the classroom, but no specific number of strikes policy. There are preschools available that can help take non-potty trained 3 year olds, but their license is more complicated so it’s just not as common.
What do schools do for kids with disabilities? I used to work in a school with kids with disabilities but I don’t remember/know how they got around this.
Anyway. I think it’s fine to have a general rule that the kid be potty trained but to say if you have 2 accidents you’re kicked out is pretty fucked up. Even kindergarten and 1st graders have accidents on occasion.
I think I'm going to give it one more day, and if we get nothing in the potty give it a break for a little bit. Maybe the holidays my H will be home and older kid out of school so one of us an be more home bound.
I think this sounds like a good plan. I read the book Oh Crap on the advice of friends, and while parts of it I didn't like, and the author is obnoxious, the idea that for the first few days you are 100% at home watching your naked kid I think did work for us. L was 21 months, and we put a diaper on for two long (90 min+) car rides in the first month, but I think daily car diapers would have been confusing for him.
As far as a question you raised goes, I think age has been a factor in him having way fewer accidents lately because he naturally is consolidating his pee more, but in your shoes I'd be worried about waiting until too close to the start of the school year. The transition to school can cause a regression, so ideally you want this to be solid, and also we did it early because trying to convince an older toddler to do something he might not want to do scared me haha.
I have potty trained my kids when they are near 3/when it’s convenient for me vs looking for signs of readiness. Probably the wrong way to do it, but it worked for us.
My 4th kid turned 3 this past May, but life was insane with my older kids’ sports schedules, and I knew we were traveling a lot on June and early July and I didn’t want to deal with a newly potty trained kid on flights and road trips. So we did it the first full weekend after we got back. I think the odds of a kid training quickly if they’re at least 3 are higher.
Post by lexiegirrl5711 on Oct 31, 2023 11:55:02 GMT -5
My 3, almost 4 year old in January has just started going potty at daycare but still refuses to go at home. We're at our wits end because of his refusal to go at home and his basic refusal to want anything to do with the potty and are so tired of dealing with diapers! Any help or ideas will be greatly appreciated!
It’s really common here because preschools are licensed differently than daycares. Any facility not licensed as a day care is legally not allowed to help with any toileting routine. Every stand-alone preschool I looked at accepted kids starting at age 3, but required them to be able to go into the bathroom on their own. They could help with snaps/zippers before or after, but they weren’t supposed to be in the bathroom with kids. There were definitely occasional accidents in the classroom, but no specific number of strikes policy. There are preschools available that can help take non-potty trained 3 year olds, but their license is more complicated so it’s just not as common.
What do schools do for kids with disabilities? I used to work in a school with kids with disabilities but I don’t remember/know how they got around this.
Anyway. I think it’s fine to have a general rule that the kid be potty trained but to say if you have 2 accidents you’re kicked out is pretty fucked up. Even kindergarten and 1st graders have accidents on occasion.
It is a major freaking problem for kids with disabilities. I have a 14 year old in diapers. It meant we always had a nanny or she has to attend self contained classes in public school. When she was super young, it was fine because we were well off enough to afford a nanny. And at age 3, she was in a self contained preschool through the public school system.
But, she can never attend after care, can never go to a regular summer camp (even one that purports to cover kids with disabilities), etc. There is ONE summer program within an hour of our house that can take her. It costs a freaking fortune (I think $1600 a week or so) and they cover 6 weeks of a 10 week summer.
We still pay a fortune to have an after school nanny and will do this until she moves into a facility in her 20s.
Obviously this is anecdotal, but my DS3 turned 3 in May and started preschool 8/15. We started potty training 7/15 and he hasn’t had any accidents at school. Since he was over 3 I think he got it quickly and also didn’t want to have accidents at school (he still has them sometimes at home). Our preschool is a full day program that starts at 18 months so there’s no requirement to be potty trained or not have accidents - we were just hoping he would be solidly potty trained and it worked out.
All this to say - you could frustrate yourself for a year by starting at 2 or just wait till your child is older to start and still end up with the same result - being solidly potty trained around 3. The economist Emily Oster did a wide survey for her ParentData website I subscribe to and found that waiting longer (till 3) equaled faster potty training for most respondents.
We tried potty training at 2y3 months and it didn’t work. She would just pee herself and not care one bit. We tried again at 2.5 and same result. Closer to 3, she asked us to use the potty and it finally clicked. She just wasn’t ready before despite doing everything by the book.