V (10) wakes up super early 7 days a week, sometimes before 5am. Bedtime right now is 8-8:30 but sometimes he's so tired that he falls asleep before that. On weekends when he wakes up *even earlier* (the Parental Controls on all devices are set to not allow you to use them before 5am) and sometimes crashes at like 11am, which makes it hard to make plans.
School is going fine. I'm not super worried in the grand scheme of things, but does anyone have any tips on how to manage early risers, or get them to shift their schedule?
Oh god this is my 11 year old. He has always been this way. Most days he's up at 530-545. He is not allowed screens during the week and he loves to read so he'll just read in bed until it's time to be awake. On the weekends they're allowed to start screens at 6am so I can sleep in.
I've tried to get him to stay awake longer so he'll sleep longer but he falls asleep reading. I want him to go to bed at 9-930 but he's usually passed out by 8pm. Most days he falls asleep reading.
He recently started swim team, so he's extra tired....but still doesn't sleep longer in the AM. So I don't have a good answer.
Staying up doesn't really help my kids, they just get up at the same time and are more cranky.
I have told them before to stay in bed and read if I know they didn't sleep enough, they usually don't fall back to sleep but they are at least resting their bodies.
Our 8.5yo is like this. Generally wakes at or before 5. Doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed. Will on rare occasion sleep “late” until 6. He generally passes right out at night but when he doesn’t, he has mega-anxiety about falling asleep and one of us has to sleep with him. Same when he wakes MOTN. The last time I slept with him at night I heard some breathing weirdness and teeth grinding… so maybe some kind of apnea thing going on maybe? We’re doing a consult with a pediatric neurologist and sleep doc in Dec just to see if there’s anything we’re missing. He’s got ADHD too, so that’s in the mix.
It’s exhausting though. He’s never been a “good sleeper” since he was born (hell, I even had pregnancy insomnia when I was pregnant with him). So I’ve been tired for like 9 years y’all. 😭
My 17 year old is like that. He went through a brief period of sleeping in around puberty onset but otherwise has always been early to bed and early to rise. At 10, I would just push through a kid dozing off mid morning. Just wake him up if you need to go somewhere!
Otherwise, it's probably just how he is and might be hard to change. 3 out of the 4 people in my house are up by 6:00 at the latest every day. We get so annoyed with the 13 year old sleeping in, especially on vacation.
Post by awkwardpenguin on Nov 17, 2023 17:13:53 GMT -5
I don't think I'd let devices turn on at 5 a.m. - it's just too early and makes waking up/staying up less boring. I would make plans regardless of whether he's tired, or plan a nap at a certain time and stick to it. Then just soldier on (I know, easier said than done).
We attempt to have a rule that they need to stay in their rooms on weekends until 7AM. They have books, notebooks and pens/pencils, and a few toys in there, so there’s plenty to do until 7AM.
I also emphasize to them WHY I need them to stay quiet and in their rooms. I’m not being a lazy parent. I have insomnia and have a terrible time going to sleep at night. I desperately need to get any sleep possible. All research points to that being incredibly important for my health, both now and for the future. So they’re helping me greatly by finding quiet things to do in their rooms until 7AM. That seems to help, for them to know it’s not just because I don’t want to get up.
I don't think I'd let devices turn on at 5 a.m. - it's just too early and makes waking up/staying up less boring.
This is exactly what I was thinking.
My 12 yo has always been an early riser but I try to bore him out of the habit. He doesn't get anything (food, tv, ipad, human interaction, lol) until I'm up. I'm up by 6:30/7:00 so it's not like I'm sleeping until noon, but my son gets no payoff waking early.
I’ve always been an early riser. Even as a teen I was usually up between 5 and 6:30. The latest I’ve ever slept in in my entire life is like 8:45.
I don’t think this is something I would necessarily try to change. I wouldn’t allow devices that early, but I think I would be okay with playing quietly and reading before 7, and turning on the TV at a low volume after 7.
Post by wanderingback on Nov 17, 2023 20:10:03 GMT -5
I unfortunately don’t think this is something you can change. I think evolutionary wise our bodies are meant to wake up that early
We have the exact opposite, although our daughter is young (1), she’s a night owl and sleeps late. Bed at 9, up at 8. That just seems to be her natural rhythm since she was born and she just doesn’t go to bed any earlier.
As kids get older I think they should have rules and quiet time if they’re up late or wake up early, but I don’t think you can change when their body falls asleep or wakes up.
We attempt to have a rule that they need to stay in their rooms on weekends until 7AM. They have books, notebooks and pens/pencils, and a few toys in there, so there’s plenty to do until 7AM.
I also emphasize to them WHY I need them to stay quiet and in their rooms. I’m not being a lazy parent. I have insomnia and have a terrible time going to sleep at night. I desperately need to get any sleep possible. All research points to that being incredibly important for my health, both now and for the future. So they’re helping me greatly by finding quiet things to do in their rooms until 7AM. That seems to help, for them to know it’s not just because I don’t want to get up.
I don’t think asking your kids to stay in their rooms in the early morning makes anyone a lazy parent! We are all tired after the school/work week.
We attempt to have a rule that they need to stay in their rooms on weekends until 7AM. They have books, notebooks and pens/pencils, and a few toys in there, so there’s plenty to do until 7AM.
I also emphasize to them WHY I need them to stay quiet and in their rooms. I’m not being a lazy parent. I have insomnia and have a terrible time going to sleep at night. I desperately need to get any sleep possible. All research points to that being incredibly important for my health, both now and for the future. So they’re helping me greatly by finding quiet things to do in their rooms until 7AM. That seems to help, for them to know it’s not just because I don’t want to get up.
I don’t think asking your kids to stay in their rooms in the early morning makes anyone a lazy parent! We are all tired after the school/work week.
I agree! And I apologize if I gave the impression that I thought that. My kids (10 and almost 13) give me the impression sometimes that they think I’m just sleeping in because I don’t want to parent…so we talk about what that isn’t the case, even if that’s what it feels like to them. Telling them why has given them a better understanding & made them more compliant with the request.
Post by steamboat185 on Nov 17, 2023 23:19:14 GMT -5
If I allow my kids to watch anything in the morning on Saturday, Sunday they wake up even earlier to watch more. As a result we allow morning cartoons like 2xs a year when we are sick. None of their devices (not even audiobooks) work before 8am. If they wake up early they can play quietly in their room or read. I think 5am devices is too early.
DS's sleep is starting to shift, but for years any time after 5am was normal. We had a rule that he had to lay in bed resting until 6am. Then he was allowed to be up in his room until whatever time. We started with 6:30 and increased it as he got older. We have never allowed screens before 7am (that used to be our ticket to get another ~hour of quiet), but now he sleeps until 6:30-7, so he stays in his room until 8am. I'm usually up before then, but I enjoy the quiet time by myself and H often works until midnight so even by 8 he still hasn't gotten a full nights sleep. Now that he's able to play independently until 8am we don't allow screens in the morning except for rare occasions, like both parents are sick. Once the screens start it's hard to pivot and get on with the rest of our day. So much easier if we just don't have them.
Kid #1 has become somewhat of an early riser too. The rules that have worked for him were he's not allowed out of his room for the day until 6am at the earliest. He can turn on the TV at that point but no tablet or switch until after 7am. Sometimes he'll have a weird dream and be up at like 3-4am and ask if he can go sleep in the living room but if that tends to be a hard no...if it happens closer to 5am or after and it's not a school night I'll allow it though.
It sucks because he was so good about sleeping in as a baby/toddler, like 8:30-9am (which was perfect with my husband's restaurant manager schedule). Around his second birthday the wakeup time started to creep earlier and now if he sleeps past 7am it's sleeping in.
DS (9) is like this. Same bedtime as you and typically wakes around 5:30, but sometimes earlier. He rarely sleeps later than 6. He isn't allowed screens in the morning because he would jump out of bed even earlier if that was allowed. He's allowed to come downstairs if he wants, but usually he stays in his room, and he isn't allowed to wake us. He usually reads, draws, or plays with stuff in his room. DH sets his alarm for 6:45.
One thing that seems to kind of help is daily vigorous activity for him. DH is really good about enforcing this and getting him to do something despite protests. Now that he's getting older he'll sometimes go on a jog with DH, they do weights and strength training together (age appropriate and safe of course), sports, stuff like that. I think sometimes he doesn't sleep well when he's anxious too, but he isn't great about verbalizing this, but I try to check in with him before bed every night and calm anything that's on his mind.
My DS (6) is like this. Staying up later changes nothing, except him being more tired. So, he’s still got his infant bedtime of 7-7:30 on normal days. As a toddler, we set the rule of no lights until 6am, no coming downstairs until 7, and we stick with that to try to avoid any incentives to waking up early. He has toys and books he can use quietly until 7, no screens/devices until he’s downstairs (and on weekdays, none until the evening).
My daughter (10) used to be an earlier riser, but has turned into a night owl. So we have the reverse rules for her. Set time to go upstairs and get ready for bed/wind down, lights out by 8:45pm on school nights, and on non-school nights, no time limit, but she needs to be quiet so the rest of the house can sleep. No screens in her room. She’s almost always still awake when I go to bed (anywhere from 8:30-10pm, usually), and sleeps in in the mornings.
My sympathies. We have the opposite problem. My DD (7) is a hardcore night owl - can't/won't go to sleep before 10pm. Gets up at 7:30am, or at best 8:00 am on some weekend days. I struggle to feel like I get enough me time in the evenings since we don't allow screens for her after 8pm. I'm looking forward to when she can read well enough to be occupied by that.
Post by clairebear on Nov 21, 2023 20:56:13 GMT -5
I'm not sure if anything would help shift the schedule so I would focus on staying in his room until an appropriate time. And I would definitely set the screen time to start a lot later. My kids like to pop out of their room somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 which is way too early for me on a non school day! On school days we are up at 6:10, so I get that they are naturally awake earlier than desired on a weekend. However they know on non school days they can't come out until 7:00am. They can play quietly, draw, read books, etc, but they can't make a lot of noise or come into my room. A lot of times they do fall back asleep out of boredom, or just play. Occasionally they do try to get me or play together so I'll just tell them it's not morning, lead them back to bed, and shut their door.
My kids wake up early but they aren't allowed out of their rooms until 7am and they don't have devices in their rooms. My daughter will listen to an audio book, colour, mess around with her hair, whatever and my son will play with his toys - then they both pop out ready to go at 7. I'm a natural early riser too so I'm often up before 7 anyway, but on the weekends I really like having a bit of time to just read a book and wake up slowly.