Wtf. What was his response/attitude? Had he just not been keeping up with his monthly budgeting and was “surprised” or did he know and keep spending?
His hobby is sports card collecting. He planned to sell a bunch of cards before year end but it never came together. This has been the same comment every year he is over his budget- he has a bunch of cards that he will sell in the new year and 'earn back' his over spending.
He put together a whole analysis on what he bought, how much his inventory is worth, etc, etc trying to soften the blow. It did not work... he needs to sell some shit to prove that he actually can. It's a lot easier to buy than to sell collectibles.
Nothing is worth anything until you actually sell it, sir.
I just got over Covid and have been sleeping so much. I definitely think it’s related!
The exhaustion was the number one covid symptom for H, DS and me. The day I slept my normal 7-7.5 hours I knew I was finally starting to feel better. Up until then I was sleeping 10 hours a night. And taking naps during the day.
Yes same for me all 3 times I’ve had it. This time I really felt fine mostly but was super tired.
His hobby is sports card collecting. He planned to sell a bunch of cards before year end but it never came together. This has been the same comment every year he is over his budget- he has a bunch of cards that he will sell in the new year and 'earn back' his over spending.
He put together a whole analysis on what he bought, how much his inventory is worth, etc, etc trying to soften the blow. It did not work... he needs to sell some shit to prove that he actually can. It's a lot easier to buy than to sell collectibles.
Nothing is worth anything until you actually sell it, sir.
I will add on to this that my H sells through a local card shop that has excellent ebay ratings. He rarely gets cash though and usually just keeps a credit at the store...I would be surprised if your H planned to get a payout if he is actively collecting.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Dec 29, 2023 14:05:13 GMT -5
Today is my last day of my job. I’m heading back out on my own and I am much more anxious about it this time (I did it 3 years ago until a friend pulled me into her field). It makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons but I’m still fretting.
DH is so funny sometimes. He isn’t big on spending money on clothes, but he said he would go and look. He found 2 more shirts, but then was all “even on sale these are a little pricey.” Dude, spend some money on yourself!
I don’t know where his thought process comes from, he’s not hard on clothes. Also he realized he didn’t buy much during covid WFH, so some stuff is just older and got worn more.
Nothing is worth anything until you actually sell it, sir.
I will add on to this that my H sells through a local card shop that has excellent ebay ratings. He rarely gets cash though and usually just keeps a credit at the store...I would be surprised if your H planned to get a payout if he is actively collecting.
Why would that be surprising to you? Not sure I follow… Do you mean he would not actually get cash for selling cards? He sells cards for cash all the time. Just not nearly as much as he buys…
I will add on to this that my H sells through a local card shop that has excellent ebay ratings. He rarely gets cash though and usually just keeps a credit at the store...I would be surprised if your H planned to get a payout if he is actively collecting.
Why would that be surprising? Not sure I follow! Do you mean he would not actually get cash for selling cards? He sells cards for cash all the time. Just not nearly as much as he buys…
Only if the store pays out. It’s kind of like kids consignment for clothes. You can keep store credit or get a check.
So if he sells through a store, he gets store credit, no money.
DH is so funny sometimes. He isn’t big on spending money on clothes, but he said he would go and look. He found 2 more shirts, but then was all “even on sale these are a little pricey.” Dude, spend some money on yourself!
I don’t know where his thought process comes from, he’s not hard on clothes. Also he realized he didn’t buy much during covid WFH, so some stuff is just older and got worn more.
My dh is like this too. We used to have a really strict budget, but we don't anymore, but he can't get over that he doesn't have to ask or tell me if he's going to buy himself new socks/underwear/undershirts and it's ok if he wants to buy expensive stuff instead of the basic Hanes or even Target brand stuff. And trying to get him to buy ACTUAL new clothes for himself is even worse. He needed new jeans this year and he went to Old Navy with me on a random day he had off when I was going to return some stuff there, and he tried on a few pairs, and he liked 2 pair, and one was on sale for $15, and the other was not on sale and was like $40, and he was like, are you sure it's ok if I get both? I was *this close* to pointing out how much money I spend on clothes for myself and the kids on a routine basis, but then I thought better of it because if he is too oblivious to realize that, I'm not dumb enough to bring it to his attention despite his access to my closet and all the packages that show up and the fact that we were at the store returning about $50 worth of clothes after keeping a bunch more...
I will add on to this that my H sells through a local card shop that has excellent ebay ratings. He rarely gets cash though and usually just keeps a credit at the store...I would be surprised if your H planned to get a payout if he is actively collecting.
Why would that be surprising to you? Not sure I follow… Do you mean he would not actually get cash for selling cards? He sells cards for cash all the time. Just not nearly as much as he buys…
Sounds like your H has less of a problem than mine does then!
I was just saying that from experience the money seems to stay at the card shop, he will sell cards through them but then use that money to buy more.
Why would that be surprising to you? Not sure I follow… Do you mean he would not actually get cash for selling cards? He sells cards for cash all the time. Just not nearly as much as he buys…
Sounds like your H has less of a problem than mine does then!
I was just saying that from experience the money seems to stay at the card shop, he will sell cards through them but then use that money to buy more.
My DH sells cards on eBay and directly to people through the card discussion boards.
I just don’t know what to do to help my 16 yo daughter. She doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She was mad that we made plans to go to a friends on Xmas for dinner because the holidays are for doing things you enjoy. We went to a hockey game last night and she barely talked to anyone and sat with her earbuds in the whole time (I made her turn off her music but she kept them in for noise suppression). She had a big cry because we are having 3 families over for NYE and she doesn’t like the kids and I won’t let her spend the night alone in her room. It is exhausting.
I would have been your daughter with the NYE party. Is there a reason she can't spend the night alone in her room? Or even go there after saying 'hi' and having a bit of food? I HATED being forced to hang out if I had no one to hang with and as an older teen, it felt like I wasn't getting any ability to make my own choices (for low stakes stuff, like NYE).
I just don’t know what to do to help my 16 yo daughter. She doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She was mad that we made plans to go to a friends on Xmas for dinner because the holidays are for doing things you enjoy. We went to a hockey game last night and she barely talked to anyone and sat with her earbuds in the whole time (I made her turn off her music but she kept them in for noise suppression). She had a big cry because we are having 3 families over for NYE and she doesn’t like the kids and I won’t let her spend the night alone in her room. It is exhausting.
I would have been your daughter with the NYE party. Is there a reason she can't spend the night alone in her room? Or even go there after saying 'hi' and having a bit of food? I HATED being forced to hang out if I had no one to hang with and as an older teen, it felt like I wasn't getting any ability to make my own choices (for low stakes stuff, like NYE).
There are 6 other teens within 2 years of her age that she has known since birth. Given we do not force her to do much (she has been off school for 2 weeks and has left the house twice, under duress,I think it’s appropriate to hang out with these kids for a few hours. I mean if she went to someone’s house and the teens that lived there refused to hang out with her, I would feel awful for her. I did tell her if she has sensory overload she can take a break in her room as needed.
My parents went home today after being here for a week, it's nice to have the house back to ourselves but now we are the only grown ups here lol
Looking forward to logging off of work tonight and starting another 3 day weekend! We ended up scrapping other NYE plans and will be home with the kids and I am super excited to do nothing.
I just don’t know what to do to help my 16 yo daughter. She doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She was mad that we made plans to go to a friends on Xmas for dinner because the holidays are for doing things you enjoy. We went to a hockey game last night and she barely talked to anyone and sat with her earbuds in the whole time (I made her turn off her music but she kept them in for noise suppression). She had a big cry because we are having 3 families over for NYE and she doesn’t like the kids and I won’t let her spend the night alone in her room. It is exhausting.
Has she been screened for depression? DS is an introvert and can get like this but he is happy to leave the house, and doesn't have issues if kids come over per se. He just doesn't necessarily initiate and is happy at home by himself.
I slept in until 10 am, and I probably would have slept later if my H's alarm hadn't gone off. But I also woke up with all of my joints hurting, probably because of the mobility workout I did last night so that sucked. I guess I need more mobility training.
Christmas and my birthday both make me really sad. Both just highlight how much effort I put into making other people feel special and I don't get even a minimum amount of care in return. This has been an especially crappy year for both and I'm just so sad about it. Giving myself today to wallow because I'm tired of pretending I don't care.
Hoping to dust myself off later today and plan some travel for 2024. This is another point of contention bc I always plan vacations around what I think the rest of my family will enjoy, and they are still always kind of crappy about it. I'm going to plan some solo travel this year because I deserve to enjoy my vacations.
I love vacationing by myself! You absolutely deserve to enjoy your vacation. I would quit doing so much for people who do not reciprocate or show appreciation. I know that is often easier said than done, but why is it ok for them to treat you that way?
Alert, alert: my 16 year old just spent two hours studying the driver's ed manual and asked if we could go out tomorrow so they can practice driving for the very first time. I have been banging the "you need a license" drum for months now, and put my foot down after several weeks of ferrying them home from school musical rehearsals at 10 pm. FINALLY!
I just don’t know what to do to help my 16 yo daughter. She doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She was mad that we made plans to go to a friends on Xmas for dinner because the holidays are for doing things you enjoy. We went to a hockey game last night and she barely talked to anyone and sat with her earbuds in the whole time (I made her turn off her music but she kept them in for noise suppression). She had a big cry because we are having 3 families over for NYE and she doesn’t like the kids and I won’t let her spend the night alone in her room. It is exhausting.
Has she been screened for depression? DS is an introvert and can get like this but he is happy to leave the house, and doesn't have issues if kids come over per se. He just doesn't necessarily initiate and is happy at home by himself.
She has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder - she is medicated and seeing a psychologist. So it’s not unexpected but avoidance of low stakes exposures won’t help her anxiety.
I just don’t know what to do to help my 16 yo daughter. She doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She was mad that we made plans to go to a friends on Xmas for dinner because the holidays are for doing things you enjoy. We went to a hockey game last night and she barely talked to anyone and sat with her earbuds in the whole time (I made her turn off her music but she kept them in for noise suppression). She had a big cry because we are having 3 families over for NYE and she doesn’t like the kids and I won’t let her spend the night alone in her room. It is exhausting.
Dealing with the same thing with our 18 year old! It's so hard. He doesn't seem depressed he just really really likes his alone time. But he can be outright rude and antisocial about it. So we just navigate it, talk about it and set expectations. I told him yesterday, you have to stay in the main room with us for one hour and answer family questions but you can be on your phone. Uggh. It's so hard. I'm trying really hard not to pathologize introversion and show him it's okay to be quiet but you have to be somewhat social. DH went through it as a teen too so he at least gets it. We can't just let him stay in is room all day. The holidays are hard for him with more social expectations but he also has to use his social skills. He can be really sweet of course too--sure your daughter is as well.
I picked my parents up at the airport last night and didn't get to sleep until after 1. I'm miserable right now.
I sent everyone to DD's volleyball event while I made dinner. Dinner is currently on the oven and I'm so grateful to be chilling on the couch.
rosiebear thanks so much for the message. DD struggles so much sometimes and I worry so much. She's such a great kid and needs to see that for herself.
Rough day here. One of my uncles died after a long course with a horrible disease. 😢
Despite really wanting a break after feeling crappy for three straight weeks from covid and then at least one bad cold on its immediate heels, and then having my period after that, which for some reason caused me to pass out on my bathroom floor earlier this week… I worked all week because I am kind of slammed with so many people leaving our office, including another one of my friends today. My January will also become even more complicated if another filing comes in before midnight tonight, so I am just watching the clock and my email…. less than 2 hours to go. 🤞 ETA: In came that filing at 11:22. Damnit.