Is this email too bitchy?

[jinkies]

Full background here: pandce.proboards.com/thread/640218/another-special-ed-question-wwyd 
Full disclosure: This is a post and run, but I will be back to respond to questions in a couple hours.

Short(ish) version: My daughter is in 6th grade with math disabilities and when we developed her IEP this year, the school recommended strengthening her 5th grade math skills before moving on to 6th grade math. I agreed to this placement. She has complained about the placement since the start (mostly about the pace, and how distracted the teacher is by the greater needs of other kids in the class in a way that DD feels is interfering with her getting help). In December we met with her IEP team and told them that we wanted to work toward returning her to grade level. Unfortunately her scores/progress on her math goals has been minimal, so we hired a tutor. In the process of getting the tutor up to speed, I learned that DD is still working on Chapter 1, 5th grade math, which explains why she is not meeting goals related to Chapters 2-5. After discussing with the tutor this week, I reached out to the teacher with a plan as follows: We will work at home and with the tutor on Chapters 2-5 with the goal of her meeting her goals by the end of second trimester (March), at which point we would like to start her on 6th grade math. Teacher responded yesterday that DD's goals are very low, and once she meets them, the next step would be for her to repeat the same goals with a higher accuracy rate. Needless to say, we are not at all on the same page, and I need to respond. I want to be firm but also maintain a productive working relationship with this woman who holds DD's entire educational future in her hands. 

With all that said, here is the email I want to send. Is it too aggressive? I wrote so many versions (most much more colorful than this one) that I can't even tell anymore. Any edits or suggestions welcome. 

Email text:

Thank you. The path that you are describing would have (DD) continuing 5th grade math for a third year, and potentially beyond if we need to repeat this process with chapters 6-10 of the book.

This was not at all my understanding of her placement or ability when we talked about reviewing/strengthening her skills in September. I was expecting that to be a review over the course of months, not years. Worst case scenario, I thought she would end this year a single grade level behind, but I now understand that she is not even on track to finish 5th grade math this year.

I'm surprised that this did not come up when we expressed our desire to get her back to grade level work at our December meeting. I also did not understand until your Jan 8 email that she is still working on Chapter 1, although that did put her lack of progress on her goals for fractions and decimals in context. I had thought that she wasn't grasping it (hence the tutor) but I now understand that she hasn't covered it yet this year.

Are there any other options for her to work at a faster pace but still supported? This does not seem to be an appropriate placement for a student who has been doing grade level math every year up until this point, and hopes to return to grade level in the future. 

My understanding has always been that (DD) is capable of learning math, but needs additional support. I completely understood that with the transition between schools, she was not quite at the same level as (School) students and needed more reinforcement of 5th grade skills. But her current placement, and trajectory to spend 3+ years on 5th grade level math, does not seem to be consistent with a belief that she is capable of succeeding in math. If I'm misunderstanding her abilities, please let me know.

We are willing to support her as much as possible with tutoring and reinforcement at home, including over the summer, but I would like for us to be on the same page regarding a plan for her next year and beyond. I thought that was what we discussed at our meeting in December, but it seems that I did not have all the necessary information at that time, and we don't appear to have left that meeting with the same understanding.

I look forward to your input.

[lessel]

I think your email is good and firm. Pushing back just feels so awkward. (Maybe I'm bad at the math here, but I feel like 3+ years is maybe an exaggeration... 2+?)

Who all is on the email when you reply? Do you think suggesting a follow-up meeting to discuss with her student support team would be appropriate?

[fortnightlily]

No, I don't think this comes off as too aggressive or bitchy at all.

[secretagent]

I don't think it's bitchy at all. I would suggest adding a clear request for a meeting with the child study team (or whomever the appropiate parties are at your school).

[jinkies]

Thanks. I wasn't sure if I should loop others in yet or not.

She did 5th grade math last year so this is year 2. Her current rate of progress without intervention would put her at 60% accuracy on chapters 1-5 at the end of this year. Her teachers response was that the next step is to repeat the goals with a higher accuracy rate in 7th grade. That would still not get her to the concepts covered in chapters 6-10.

That's where I got 3+, but your point is taken and I don't want to sound hyperbolic so I will adjust to 2+.

[waverly]

E-mail is fine. I would keep escalating at this point.

[noodleoo]

I think it is fine and I'm pissed off on your behalf that they want her to REPEAT what she just did for another year? Why?!?

I would take this line out: "If I'm misunderstanding her abilities, please let me know."

I'm sure she will reply either way and I wouldn't give her an opening to put down your DD. I think you know she can do this and is motivated to move up.

I would also be working on escalating because it doesn't seem like this teacher believes your daughter can catch up.

[longtimenopost]

Only thing I would add is to start with: "Thank you. My concern is the path you are describing would..."

This way, you are presenting your concern and giving her an opportunity to provide more info to alleviate that or come up with a new plan. 

[momof2]

I think you should have a one hour call with an IEP advocate that covers your area. From the beginning of your posts, I’ve been totally mystified why your kid can’t use a calculator as an accommodation — in which case I bet she would be just fine in 6th grade math. You need someone that understands how other kids in your area get accommodation for this type of issue. For what it is worth, the first 5 chapters of math in sixth grade, everything was “calculator active” for my kid with zero accommodations. Now, they have to not use the calculator for a few chapters, but this sounds ridiculous to me.

[orval]

I would say it is not bitchy enough! It is clear to me that no one at the school has a clue what a specific learning disability in math is. Accuracy should not be a measure to move to the next grade level with this disability. I would insist she be place in the correct grade level starting next year and emphasize you will be utilizing the private help to get her up to speed on concepts --- NOT math facts.

[pandorica]

Not too bitchy at all! Not even a little bit. I think you need to keep pushing back (maybe even more even if it feels awkward).

I hope you're all able to get on the same page. Their plan for her seems ridiculous.

[cmeon]

I would personally go straight to requesting another meeting to clarify learning goals, bring an advocate (your tutor would be awesome if she's up for it), get her a calculator (doesn't mean you have to give up on math facts- she's clearly capable of learning them and they will help in the long run) and push for both on-grade level placement next year and alternate working area this year. She doesn't belong in the SPED room and she is gaining nothing from her time there.

There's nothing wrong with your email, I just think this discussion is too important to handle via email.

[redpenmama]

Not bitchy at all. I would probably conclude it with a call to action/next steps. Who should you be meeting with next (perhaps beyond the teacher) for clarity on the situation? I'd cc that person on the email as well.

[jinkies]

Jan 24, 2024 12:47:11 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I would personally go straight to requesting another meeting to clarify learning goals, bring an advocate (your tutor would be awesome if she's up for it), get her a calculator (doesn't mean you have to give up on math facts- she's clearly capable of learning them and they will help in the long run) and push for both on-grade level placement next year and alternate working area this year. She doesn't belong in the SPED room and she is gaining nothing from her time there.

There's nothing wrong with your email, I just think this discussion is too important to handle via email.

I've been burned previously by not having written record of concerns, so I do want to spell everything out in email. But point is taken, and I will add a request to meet in person again to get on the same page. 

She is allowed to use a calculator for steps-- like in long division, if she is asked to divide 480 by 5, she is allowed to use the calculator for 48/5, then for 30/5, but she can't just enter 480/5 in the calculator. She is passing her goals for everything in relation to Chapter 1 of the book, but needs to pass chapters 1-5, all at once. Which is also an issue because she isn't being tested in a traditional sense-- she doesn't get a test on Chapter 1, passes and then moves on. She has to continue passing Chapter 1 material every time she tests, until she is eventually passing everything from Chapter 1-5. Which seems... harder than a traditional placement to me? It's like a midterm but without advance notice or the ability to study. But I didn't want to get into the weeds on that in this email.

She may very well need a special ed placement for the remainder of her math career in order to get the support that she needs, but even so, I would want that to be at grade level or close behind. 

It's so frustrating. I feel like they bring so much context to these meetings that I don't have.

ETA: I agree that her tutor would be awesome, but she is actually another 6th grade special ed teacher in the district, so I'm sure that she would not want to get involved at that level since this is her direct colleague (although they don't know each other). The tutor has been investigating options for us and has contacted a district middle school (not DD's, but she had a contact at a different one) to talk about 7th grade math levels and options for kids like DD. Overall the tutor seems to think that grade level math is attainable for 7th grade, though it would be hard. DD could always go back to the sped room in the future, but if we don't make a move now, she will be too far behind to ever get out.

[orval]

Jan 24, 2024 13:06:15 GMT -5 jinkies said:

She is allowed to use a calculator for steps-- like in long division, if she is asked to divide 480 by 5, she is allowed to use the calculator for 48/5, then for 30/5, but she can't just enter 480/5 in the calculator. She is passing her goals for everything in relation to Chapter 1 of the book, but needs to pass chapters 1-5, all at once. Which is also an issue because she isn't being tested in a traditional sense-- she doesn't get a test on Chapter 1, passes and then moves on. She has to continue passing Chapter 1 material every time she tests, until she is eventually passing everything from Chapter 1-5. Which seems... harder than a traditional placement to me? It's like a midterm but without advance notice or the ability to study. But I didn't want to get into the weeds on that in this email.

She may very well need a special ed placement for the remainder of her math career in order to get the support that she needs, but even so, I would want that to be at grade level or close behind. 

It's so frustrating. I feel like they bring so much context to these meetings that I don't have.

What is their reasoning for this?  Is this how they test regular class placement?  That does seem nuts.  Part of my ds' issues with dyscalculia also have to do with memory.  he always does worse on mid terms and finals -- despite extra studying.  It's just the nature of the disability.  Often accommodations are shorter tests, fewer problems for homework -- ie less not more work!  
I second all the recs for an advocate.  I think you need one. 

[jinkies]

orval, I don't know the reasoning. This was also news to me based on the most recent email from the teacher, where I asked for clarification about how DD is being tested and how we should let her know if DD is ready to attempt testing on the next skill. Apparently they test her every 2 weeks on skills from Chapter 1-5. But of course, she hasn't even completed chapter 1, so she has made very minimal progress overall on the testing. But it was helpful for me to understand that she's not scoring a 40% on areas that she has covered this year. She is scoring a 40% overall on a test where she has only practiced 20% of the material.

[orval]

jinkies , I am not a teacher, but this does not seem like a good way to encourage learning when you haven't even covered the material. How will you ever pass?

ETA  The more I think about it, the madder I get.  I would absolutely set up a meeting ASAP and get her out of that class.  Don't take no for an answer.  

[momof2]

I’m going to say it again, talk to a well regarded advocate in your area. This sounds insane to me, and I have one kid with profound ID and another with ADHD. I am well steeped in the SN world and this all sounds nuts to me. An advocate will better understand how this stuff works in Your particular district. And it sounds like you probably have the money to hire them to come to the next meeting so I would also recommend this.

[jinkies]

orval, I am so angry that I can't see straight, which is why I wanted input on the email. You should have seen earlier drafts LOL. This is so much tamer, but I couldn't tell if it only seemed acceptable in comparison to the versions where I basically set the house on fire.

[orval]

jinkies, set the house on fire! Hire an advocate and get this sorted out.

[cmeon]

Oh I am so frustrated for you- none of this makes sense! She's being held back from proceeding through the curriculum because she can't perform on the material she hasn't covered yet- I mean, WHAT?!

I hear you on the "get it in writing", but yes- this current path isn't going to work for her (or anyone, for that matter).

[tacokick]

I would add the weirdness about the testing in to get that in writing too. Then escalate to a meeting with anyone you can pull into this that might help. This doesn’t make any sense.

[longtimenopost]

Also just wanted to add that you're doing a great job and this is hard. It's easy to say "burn it down" but at the end of the day, unless you are planning to pull her, your child is in the care of these people who are just that, people. They have feelings, egos, etc. There are laws in place to protect individualized education and accommodations and this is where an advocate can be helpful, but I understand the multiple email revisions and trying not to offend. It's a tough balance sometimes.

[jinkies]

Jan 24, 2024 17:42:52 GMT -5 longtimenopost said:

Also just wanted to add that you're doing a great job and this is hard. It's easy to say "burn it down" but at the end of the day, unless you are planning to pull her, your child is in the care of these people who are just that, people. They have feelings, egos, etc. There are laws in place to protect individualized education and accommodations and this is where an advocate can be helpful, but I understand the multiple email revisions and trying not to offend. It's a tough balance sometimes.

Thanks for this. I do understand that she is a person, and as far as I can tell the expectations on her are... superhuman at best, and completely unreasonable/unrealistic at worst. She teaches DD's class of 6 or 7 kids with a very wide spectrum of behavioral, medical, and educational needs, simultaneously with a pullout of another 6-7 kids who are part time in a 6th grade math class and part time in special ed. She does have one assistant, but according to DD the assistant is very young and doesn't seem authorized to teach-- she's more of another adult in the room and can supervise DD's group while they work independently, while the head teacher works with the 6th grade track kids. 

Personalizing each kid's education must feel daunting, and my assumption is that when DD didn't qualify to start 6th grade math at the beginning of the year, that the teacher slotted her with the only other pre-existing option, because she just didn't have the bandwidth to create a custom track for DD. 

As a human person, and a fellow working mom just trying to get through the day, I am hugely sympathetic to her position, which is why I'm trying to be measured in my response. 

But as a parent of kid whose needs are not being met, I'm pretty pissed. 

I'm trying to balance the two. 

[imimahoney]

Hire an advocate at this point. You will get nowhere without one.

[jg183]

This does not support research, she is going to be very behind forever and her math identity is going to be ruined forever.
Hire an educational advocate to get her what she deserves.

[redheadk]

You need an advocate and, honestly, I'd call an IEP meeting and have them attend with you. None of this is okay. You are doing a great job navigating this but the school is not. I taught for 7 years and attended a ton of IEP meetings plus my mom just recently retired and is very experienced; I would be out of my depth here and would hire an advocate.

As far as the teacher...it is not personal but you can start making noise that your DD is, in fact, NOT receiving her personalized instruction minutes per her IEP since the teacher has to spend significant amount of time managing disruptive behaviors rather than providing DD with instruction. Put this back on the principal and the SpEd department at the district level for not allotting enough support for this teacher and the students. It isn't that teacher's fault that the students are preventing her from giving instruction but everyone is well aware that this is the situation so it's time for them to make changes so that your DD is actually able to benefit from her personalized instruction rather than wasting her time, spinning her wheels.

[livinitup]

I am so invested in your story ! No, it’s not too bitchy.

As a social worker, with a background of writing complex issues I can recommend a few things. Please take or leave what you like. I am so impressed in your efforts.

What are you asking for? Specifically? I appreciate that you’re detailing how you have come to this point (well done, btw!) but you don’t have to paint a picture. You have to state what is in the IEP (her legally enforceable plan) and steps to achieve it. The details simply reinforce those issues. Your “complaint” is that she is not on track with her IEP goal(s) or activities to reach the goal.

You already almost got there in your email - At our last IEP meeting (state the date), it was confirmed that her goal is to reach grade level math (6) by June 30th. With the recommendation to continue in the special program that she has been participating since Sept 5th with no adjustments or changes to her IEP activities. It came to my attention and was confirmed by you via email (state the date of the email) that my daughter is still receiving instruction on Chapter 1 (5th grade math). So, we can agree that her current pace of instruction and demonstrated learning will not keep pace with the goal of her IEP. I recommend these activity changes to her IEP and request a meeting to discuss the changes with 30 days. (You can bullet your changes)
- Private tutoring in the home environment by a certified math instructor, paid by parents, X hours a day, X days a week.
- In school instruction - what are you asking for in school? (I know we all sympathize with the impossible situation of the teacher but being pushed aside is not serving your DD well). What is reasonable to ask to change? How do you measure it? (a learning plan, 1:1 minutes with instruction, a new classroom)
- Demonstration of understanding of chapter material
by student by achieving proficiency standards with a calculator on all chapter tests. Student to engage in demonstration of abilities by engaging of chapter tests, teacher to provide test, proctor, and score on this schedule : score of 50% in chapter 1 by X date, score of 50% on chapter 2 by X date, etc.

These are just some activities I thought-up based on your informations and some good comments. It is not the end all be all, but I hope I gave you something to think about and use.

The goal of a paper trail is to create bulletin proof documentation of what you asked for & when. Think of it like this, if the superintendent took a few minutes to glance at your daughter’s file and saw this letter/email, would he or she know what you are asking the teacher or the school to do? Is it so clear that the school is going to be compelled to give you what you want? I mean, we are all pretty horrified on your behalf that you “discovered” that your daughter is still on chapter 1 (5th grade) in JANUARY.

[jinkies]

Thanks livinitup! I actually sent the email yesterday, though, so now we wait.

Part of the issue is just that I had no context for the goals when they were developed. I did not realize that the goals in her IEP did not cover the entire 5th grade curriculum, because I didn't know how to access the book until the tutor showed me a few weeks ago. I didn't realize I was agreeing to a placement that was not working systematically through a curriculum or testing in a traditional way. I didn't realize that if she achieved the goals as stated, that it still wouldn't be enough to move on to 6th grade math. So... they will just say that I agreed to an annual goal of 60% accuracy on XYZ concepts, which I did. But that really meant nothing to me at the time. Which they should have realized when I talked to them in December about getting her up to grade level.

Re: all the people talking about advocates. I actually had what I will call an "advocate-lite" in the initial IEP development meeting. It's a local woman who taught special ed in a neighboring district for years, and who has a dyslexic daughter in our district herself. She was helpful, but, for example, prepared overwhelming evidence that the spelling program they were putting in DD in was inappropriate, from the makers of the curriculum themselves. And the school basically just said "too bad. This is what we are giving her."

I did look into lawyer-advocates a few years ago, and can put some feelers out again. At the time, they were all either not accepting new clients or a months-long wait for a consult, but that was in 2021 so I imagine they were dealing with a lot of post-covid fallout from not following IEPs during shutdowns. I can try to reach out again, it's very possible that the landscape has changed.

[livinitup]

I have seen detailed and comprehensive IEPs and I have seen IEPs so generic, that it could only be described as useless.

I don’t know what happened in your IEP meeting or what they should have said but I can tell you that it is clear that her interventions are not working to achieve her goals. I am pretty alarmed, too. Mostly for the kids who don’t have you as a mom - because you are asking all the right questions and got her a 1:1 math tutor.

There is something deeply wrong with an educational plan that has her repeating 5th grade math as a refresher/reinforcement as an intervention to get her on grade level for 6th grade math YET still has her reviewing CHAPTER 1 in January.

At this point, my concern would be that your daughter does not have an effective learning plan or an effective/motivated teacher to develop an appropriate plan. Are there real barriers that are preventing this teacher from meeting your child’s educational needs? Yes.

A lot depends on how the teacher responds to the email you sent yesterday. Sadly, I think you are right that this IEP and learning program is a poor fit for your daughter’s needs. If the teacher doesn’t seem willing/able to make a big change, I would focus on robust tutoring at home.

I would re-focus your daughter to expect her learning to be driven by her tutor (& her), add appropriate testing (by the tutor) to document proficiency, and let the tutor manage the pace to get past the 5th grade review and into 6th grade learning.

I’m really at a loss at what to expect from the school. Would it be better to get her out of the class entirely?? It’s really not working and if the at-home tutoring works, I think you may have a really good plan to manage her math needs better.