Post by starburst604 on Feb 13, 2024 19:56:10 GMT -5
sent the attorney said that if I decide to formally file for divorce, it will take about 6 weeks for the court to draw up and deliver the formal papers to him. Once those are delivered to him, it stops him from making any large financial transactions. I believe she said once I file the divorce complaint, I cannot make any either.
I’m glad you liked the attorney though, that’s so important. When I went to sign the papers last week, all of the walls were purple, not one man worked in the office and the paralegal that walked me through it all was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. While I’m relieved we didn’t actually have to go to court and it remained uncontested, I felt all the Girl Boss vibes and would have felt confident in their ability.
And don’t you worry one bit about DD. Once things start happening, I’d recommend therapy for her, where she’ll learn to advocate for herself and not allow him to manipulate her. Which he will of course continue to do. She’ll realize soon enough that you’re her safe person.
Post by ellipses84 on Feb 13, 2024 21:47:10 GMT -5
I’m glad you are getting everything figured out. OMG to him listening in to your therapy appt and throwing it in your face immediately afterwards. I’d use that as a catalyst to get him to go stay elsewhere and change all your passwords. I agree that accusing someone of cheating can be a red flag they have cheated, but it can also be someone with low self esteem (like if they’ve been cheated on in past relationships) or a narcissist who cannot understand why you don’t want to sleep with him all the time (while making no effort and actively doing things that repel you). Hmm I wonder why women who do all the work and are treated poorly by douchecanoe men don’t want to have sex with them all the time?
Post by mrsukyankee on Feb 14, 2024 5:34:04 GMT -5
I would inform your therapist what happened and if you have a session booked in before he leaves, make sure that it will be in person (and if it can't be, to try to move it to another time/place).
Sounds like you are ready to be done. Glad the attorney seems to be a good fit!
Post by starburst604 on Feb 14, 2024 6:53:24 GMT -5
We talked a little when we took DD to hockey practice last night. I had been fuming and he knew it. He apologized for listening and said it hadn’t been his intention. DD came to get him when she tried to come into the office to tell me about sledding and the door was locked. He tried the door and heard what I was saying at that moment and admitted it hurt to hear it. He said he didn’t stay to hear more and he shouldn’t have thrown my personal feelings at me like that.
Whatever. It doesn’t change anything. I think he’s in panic mode now because of the planned separation.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Feb 14, 2024 7:37:07 GMT -5
The fact that he overheard something private (whether intentionally or accidentally) and then immediately threw it in your face shows just how much he does NOT KNOW how to be a good person or partner to you. I'm so glad you have a solid plan in place to get away from him.
The fact that he overheard something private (whether intentionally or accidentally) and then immediately threw it in your face shows just how much he does NOT KNOW how to be a good person or partner to you. I'm so glad you have a solid plan in place to get away from him.
Exactly. My ex actually read something private I wrote about him and then got mad about it and brought it up. I brought it up when we were in therapy and the therapist absolutely told my ex he was in the wrong for not respecting my privacy even if I was saying something that hurt his feelings. That’s not how that works!
Post by litskispeciality on Feb 14, 2024 9:20:05 GMT -5
I like mrsukyankee's advice. I think it's a good idea to talk through with the therapist what you'll say as you're "excuse" for being out of the house, or what you're doing in the office if the apt has to be virtual. You shouldn't need an excuse, but I don't want him to start harassing you about seeing a therapist alone, or trying to stop you from going (say because he has to watch his child) even if it's the best thing for you.
I've heard of this in Al-Anon as well. They're supposed to start meetings right on time because some people face safety issues with taking care of themselves, which should NEVER be the case.
It speaks volumes about who he is as a person that that was his immediate response. I’m excited for him to GTFO of your house so you can live in peace.
Girl, LOOK. "I said something mean to you and you told somebody and it made me look bad because I was mean to you so feel bad for meeeeeeeeee" BITCH WHAT
Girl, LOOK. "I said something mean to you and you told somebody and it made me look bad because I was mean to you so feel bad for meeeeeeeeee" BITCH WHAT
It reminds me of the narcissist's prayer...
That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
You are doing so good. It's hard but I am so excited for what is to come for you. My H has moved to an extra bedroom upstairs and even that is giving me more peace in my life. I can only imagine how it will feel for you to have him living somewhere else entirely. Let us know how it goes with your DD. I'm really nervous about that part.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.