6 year old and Separation

[trytobearunner34]

Yesterday we told our first grader about our separation. It is very amicable and has been devised to be as least impactful as possible but clearly is the most major disruption she has experienced in her short life.

I am sure I will have many questions, but here is today’s.

She said she wants to tell her class on Monday (that is her sharing day) that she will have two homes and two bedrooms and asked how she should say it. I said it was something we could discuss on Sunday once we had a good night sleep.

I am a 23 year elementary education veteran and have no good answer:/. On the one hand, my gut reaction is to tell her to not to say anything but that is likely my own baggage talking. I do want to normalize all of this for her, but am not sure how to guide her on this one.

We had already planned to email her teacher this weekend so she was aware and will ask her thoughts, but I would ask here in the event someone had navigated it before.

[wanderingback]

That sounds very mature of her. I think how she wants to say it sounds good, about having 2 homes, so I would tell her that. I can’t imagine she’s the only one that has a family structure like that. Since it’s a Monday is there any way that you can briefly tell the teacher in person as a heads up, that way maybe the teacher can use it as an opportunity to talk about different family structures. Kids are so resilient!

[expectantsteelerfan]

I agree with pp...I would def. let her share and give the teacher a heads up first. What she planned to say sounds good. And I wouldn't be surprised if other kids chime in that they too have 2 homes and 2 bedrooms, and it will hopefully be a good source of support for her.

[momof2]

If you are worried about how her friends will react don’t. Kids are totally egocentric and most won’t care. Or, they may think it is AWESOME. That is what my kid thought in first grade when she realized her best friend had two homes. She was like “she gets two rooms and has double the toys, we should do that mommy!!”

I also doubt this will lead to a ton of gossip. Again, the vast majority of kids at that age will forget and not mention it to their parents. Apparently my kid learned her other very good friend’s parents split up in third grade and didn’t bother to tell us until 6th grade when it came up because the kids started riding the bus and she was like “X only rides my bus every other week.”

[meanie]

From my time spent in my kid's classrooms at that age I can assure you it will be the least alarming thing shared that day, lol

As others have said, the teacher can definitely help her navigate this.

[trytobearunner34]

Thanks to you all for your advice and support. She shared and it went well:).