Another kid stabbed mine in the back with a plastic knife, after sneaking up on him in the cafeteria. This is after the kid put him in a chokehold twice at recess 2 weeks ago, threatened to shoot him at the beginning of the year and tried to punch him down the stairs in the 2nd week of school.
And I can't get the social worker or any administrator to respond to emails 🙃
This is not typical kindergarten behavior. If the school doesn't address it I wouldn't have any hesitation in going to the police.
DS2 (then 8th grader) was targeted multiple times with physical violence by another student last year and we had to elevate to the superintendent to ensure the behavior did not continue this year in high school. Thankfully the high school administration has done a superb job at controlling the other child and there were only a couple verbal incidents at the beginning of the year that were swiftly handled.
One thing I wish we had done differently was that all changes in schedule/potential interaction fell on DS rather than the other child. For example, the SRO walked DS in the halls instead of the aggressor having the SRO supervision. At the time we just wanted the bullying to stop but looking back I wish we had pushed harder that the other child be held more accountable. In the end, I think it was easier for the administration to ask DS to make the changes because he would do them when the other child would disregard the requests. As kindergartners this may not apply but something to keep in mind. We were also told by our lawyer and law enforcement officers (ETA - we reached out to local officers through a mutual connection; we did not call the police) that we could not press charges unless the bully broke one of DS2's bones.
Post by karinothing on Jan 29, 2024 13:59:54 GMT -5
sproctopus, if the school is not doing an adequate job of protecting your kid. I would not hesitate to call the police. I had a friend that went through something similar, and the school didn't take sufficient action. She filed a police report and got a protective order so the other kid cannot not be w/in 25 feet of her kid. Schools really are bound by a lot of policies when it comes to discipline and action these days (and I think teachers will be the first to tell you this).
midwestmama, it isn't that easy to suspend kids anymore. They do have a right to due process so for a lot of suspensions there needs to be a hearing. Our district can't even do significant suspension without the school board getting involved.
We had three friends/family get engaged over the holidays. We just bought our airfare to Charleston for April for one, our niece is thinking Dec 2024-Feb 2025, probably in Florida, and my BFF is thinking summer 2025 in London or Ireland (her fiancé is British). I'm going to try to influence her to Ireland because I've never been there and we're going to London this spring. But even if it's London, we'll be able to make it a vacation elsewhere and just tack on whatever days we need to for the wedding there.
Post by sproctopus on Jan 29, 2024 14:11:13 GMT -5
trissie18 I was very clear that all actions need to be taken for other kid and not mine.
I do appreciate everyone's concern-- for real! But guys! I'm not calling the police!! You have to realize you're viewing this from a UMC white person's perspective. I am pushing the school for a response and a plan of action. My number 1 priority is to keep A safe-- getting police involved is not going to help. The police do not help black people feel safer! This kid is going to be helped much more by having social workers involved and behaviors tracked than me getting his parents in trouble or filing restraining orders right now.
Post by followyourarrow on Jan 29, 2024 14:17:10 GMT -5
Dog Update - I went home for lunch. I tried offering treats so I could get out the door to go back to work, and Mardi paid no attention to the treats, she was 100% focused on getting out the door and into the car. I'll try a higher value treat or Kong next time. Also, she's very vindictive when she doesn't get to go in the car and she thinks she should. This morning she chewed up something plastic, after lunch she stole a loaf of bread.
We got a new washer and dryer a months ago, the installers broke the toilet when it was delivered and the company is so freaking slow to respond to anything related to the claim. I finally went ahead and got an estimate to have it replaced and it’s going to be $1700 😳. Our neighbor is a plumber and confirmed that’s in line with what he would charge. I was thinking it would be like $300 plus the cost of a new toilet!
Is it just the toilet itself or is there actual plumbing involved? Because putting in a toilet is pretty easy for DIYer. If it's just the toilet, I might be inclined to just do it, but submit the estimate you got to the company that broke it for reimbursement.
It’s just replacing the toilet plus the piece that connects to the floor, no change to the actual plumbing. The delivery company just denied the claim (I’m am filing a dispute), so we may end up doing it ourselves anyway because no way am I paying $1700 out of pocket.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Jan 29, 2024 14:20:29 GMT -5
The school should be able to keep your kid safe and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this/possibly fight about this with them. I’m sorry your son is going through that, too.
To a lesser extent, my oldest was a mean kid’s target in K. Mean kid told my kid a lot of nasty stuff, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she told my kid that, “I hope you get sick and die and never come back to school.”
DD is now in 5th grade. Those 2 have never been in class together since K. They don’t have a shared lunch time. They never crossed paths on the playground.
It’s completely possible to push the school to have a clear and total view of mean, violent, bullying, etc., behavior and have them handle the situation so everyone is getting what they need. A lot of the time it just takes persistent pushing and presence. I know that I live rent-free in my superintendent’s head - she’s hates me! But she always responds to me now, lol.
Dog Update - I went home for lunch. I tried offering treats so I could get out the door to go back to work, and Mardi paid no attention to the treats, she was 100% focused on getting out the door and into the car. I'll try a higher value treat or Kong next time. Also, she's very vindictive when she doesn't get to go in the car and she thinks she should. This morning she chewed up something plastic, after lunch she stole a loaf of bread.
Dog Update - I went home for lunch. I tried offering treats so I could get out the door to go back to work, and Mardi paid no attention to the treats, she was 100% focused on getting out the door and into the car. I'll try a higher value treat or Kong next time. Also, she's very vindictive when she doesn't get to go in the car and she thinks she should. This morning she chewed up something plastic, after lunch she stole a loaf of bread.
I’d crate train during the day.
She was crate trained before we moved in Oct. I'm ready to go back to crating her, but I'm struggling to get FI on board.
Could you cash it somewhere, like at a counter in a grocery store or something? The downside is they'll take a percentage as their "service fee."
I don't get this. Can't a signed check be treated like cash? I was always told never to sign a check until I was ready to deposit or cash it, since anyone can cash out deposit a signed check.
Oh yeah followyourarrow, if she's used to being crated I'd do that. We crate Donny (but not Stella) when we leave and honestly I think he's happier that way. He *wants* to be a good boy, but his anxiety gets the better of him so it's safer for him and our stuff if he's crated.
But being able to keep them from rushing out the door is good training, in general, so I'd work on that either way.
Is it just the toilet itself or is there actual plumbing involved? Because putting in a toilet is pretty easy for DIYer. If it's just the toilet, I might be inclined to just do it, but submit the estimate you got to the company that broke it for reimbursement.
It’s just replacing the toilet plus the piece that connects to the floor, no change to the actual plumbing. The delivery company just denied the claim (I’m am filing a dispute), so we may end up doing it ourselves anyway because no way am I paying $1700 out of pocket.
Is it on a second story? I live in a relatively HCOL area and I am quoting a new toilet and about $500 is standard across the board unless you want a top of the line Toto or something like that.
Post by sproctopus on Jan 29, 2024 15:01:20 GMT -5
lavenderblue Is it possible to contact the insurance company and have them reissue the check in just 1 person's name if the other person provided a notarized letter with permission to do so? Or would your ExH not do that?
Could you cash it somewhere, like at a counter in a grocery store or something? The downside is they'll take a percentage as their "service fee."
I don't get this. Can't a signed check be treated like cash? I was always told never to sign a check until I was ready to deposit or cash it, since anyone can cash out deposit a signed check.
My credit union has always made me deposit any checks made out to DH and I. Like my mom wrote us a check for our anniversary (lol) and I always have to deposit it, even if he signed it.
There must be some other way to do this at OPs bank though. I'm guessing this isn't the first time this situation has come up.
Post by lavenderblue on Jan 29, 2024 16:14:10 GMT -5
donutsmakemegonuts, I was trying to deposit it. I was using Mobile Deposit and they declined it. Then when I called that's when they told me it had to be put in to a Joint Account.
ssmjlm, it was under the deposit limit. If I can't get the insurance company to send out a new check like sproctopus, suggested, I'll go in to a branch.
They tried to do a direct deposit but my exH wouldn't sign off on it, so that's why they sent a check. lust2hart, Years ago we got a large charge made out to both of us to we both had to go to the Check Cashing place because neither of us trusted the other one and we were each entitled to half and that turned in to a whole cluster. In this case, all of the money needs to go to me to reimburse me for the new car so I was hoping to avoid having to do that.
bears, I always thought that same as you which is why I'm super confused. And because I was trying to deposit this check via Mobile, I wrote on the back "for bank mobile deposit only" so I'm not even sure if anywhere else will cash it now.
trissie18 I was very clear that all actions need to be taken for other kid and not mine.
I do appreciate everyone's concern-- for real! But guys! I'm not calling the police!! You have to realize you're viewing this from a UMC white person's perspective. I am pushing the school for a response and a plan of action. My number 1 priority is to keep A safe-- getting police involved is not going to help. The police do not help black people feel safer! This kid is going to be helped much more by having social workers involved and behaviors tracked than me getting his parents in trouble or filing restraining orders right now.
I just wanted to add none of the people were white in my police story. The child in question was choked to the point of passing out and the school's response was nothing (parent was told there was nothing they could do). I certainly understand what you are saying, the social worker at our school was useless and her child kept getting hurt again and again. I think at some point people reach a breaking point and if a school is unable or unwilling to keep your kid safe then I think parents only have a few options.
For what it is worth. The court order put all the burden on the school to 1) institute a safety plan and 2) explain why a safety plan was not put in place before. It really ended up being the best outcome.
donutsmakemegonuts , I was trying to deposit it. I was using Mobile Deposit and they declined it. Then when I called that's when they told me it had to be put in to a Joint Account.
ssmjlm , it was under the deposit limit. If I can't get the insurance company to send out a new check like sproctopus , suggested, I'll go in to a branch.
They tried to do a direct deposit but my exH wouldn't sign off on it, so that's why they sent a check. lust2hart , Years ago we got a large charge made out to both of us to we both had to go to the Check Cashing place because neither of us trusted the other one and we were each entitled to half and that turned in to a whole cluster. In this case, all of the money needs to go to me to reimburse me for the new car so I was hoping to avoid having to do that.
bears , I always thought that same as you which is why I'm super confused. And because I was trying to deposit this check via Mobile, I wrote on the back "for bank mobile deposit only" so I'm not even sure if anywhere else will cash it now.
I was more referring to bears statement about treating checks like cash and being able to cash the check with someone else's name attached.
Maybe it has something to do with trying to deposit it via the mobile app. I would just go in to the branch and explain your situation. Hopefully they can help you.
[quote author="mcppalmbeach" [/quote] Is it on a second story? I live in a relatively HCOL area and I am quoting a new toilet and about $500 is standard across the board unless you want a top of the line Toto or something like that.[/quote]
It’s on the ground floor with slab foundation. $500 is much more in line with what I was expecting, I’m sure we could pick a cheap toilet to bring the cost down a bit but just labor is $1000.
I just use two different weekly pill organizers, different colors. On the back I labeled one “morning” and one “evening” just in case I have a brain fog moment and forget my color coding lol
I also keep all morning meds (vitamins, meds for kids etc - anything taken with breakfast) in the pantry and evening meds up by my bed so it makes it harder to forget
She takes a different number of medications at am and pm and we've separated them. She's generally good, but occasionally takes the medicine for the wrong day or time. I think we need something mechanical to help her.
We have just a generic one from target or walmart - it has AM and PM in different colored slots. The days are also removable, which is helpful for going on vacation or if she's going to be out for dinner (she takes evening medicine with dinner) - we can just pop it out and send it in her bag.
Dog Update - I went home for lunch. I tried offering treats so I could get out the door to go back to work, and Mardi paid no attention to the treats, she was 100% focused on getting out the door and into the car. I'll try a higher value treat or Kong next time. Also, she's very vindictive when she doesn't get to go in the car and she thinks she should. This morning she chewed up something plastic, after lunch she stole a loaf of bread.
Are you crate training at all? If not, that is probably your best bet right now. My dogs have never been dogs that love their crates or go into them as their 'safe' place, and we don't crate overnight, but we've always crated when everyone in the house is leaving. My dogs get treats when we leave and they go into their crates...I used to do frozen kongs or other long-lasting treats to keep them entertained in there, but now, going in the crate is such a routine that when I open the treat drawer, they both literally enter their crates on their own before I get there (if I didn't come by with treats and to shut the door, they would leave, but if they get treats they just stand there while I shut the doors). Now I just give them each a milkbone or 2 and they happily go in.
trissie18 I was very clear that all actions need to be taken for other kid and not mine.
I do appreciate everyone's concern-- for real! But guys! I'm not calling the police!! You have to realize you're viewing this from a UMC white person's perspective. I am pushing the school for a response and a plan of action. My number 1 priority is to keep A safe-- getting police involved is not going to help. The police do not help black people feel safer! This kid is going to be helped much more by having social workers involved and behaviors tracked than me getting his parents in trouble or filing restraining orders right now.
Thank you for sticking to this. I don't need to post the research but yeah...calling the cops on a 5 year old Black boy? is not it. Push the school to get the supervision in place for the child -- wrap-around, more frequent supervision, a rule he can't be around your kid, therapy. Teach your child to go to an adult the second he feels uncomfortable.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
My face shingles still suck. Slightly less. But it's still awful.
Also I look extra crazy because I have one right where my glasses touch the side of my face to hook over my ear. So I have been wearing my hair up and tucking the end of that frame into my hair.
So I'm very tired because I can't sleep well and def look like it. My skin on one side is a hideous mess. And my glasses are in a constant state of being crooked on my face.
I would not wish this on my personal enemies. I would wish it on Trump.
Last Edit: Jan 29, 2024 21:38:25 GMT -5 by mofongo
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
She was crate trained before we moved in Oct. I'm ready to go back to crating her, but I'm struggling to get FI on board.
You're the one that deals with it more, so I would crate whether he was on board or not. And he can work extra hard on training if he wants to not crate. That's what I did with my husband who "feels bad" when dog is crated. I would work on the behavior when you don't have to leave. When you're home periodically go to the door and work on the sit and stay. I make our dog lay on his pillow in the living room (front door opens right into the room). I have him do that and treat for staying. When going for walks he can't walk through the door before us. He has to sit and stay while we walk out and the tell him to come. Same when we return. I now can leave him out of the crate when we're leaving. He has to lay down on his pillow, son goes out and I toss him a biscuit before I pull the door closed. When we come home I crack the door and don't come in until he's laying on the pillow. Work on sit and stay in all different places and times. The better he is at it, the more it will transfer to the high stress times. Our back door opens into the yard and that's where son and dog walker play with him, and all bets are off at that door. LOL