I would NOT push sports if they're not interested in it. I also think soccer "assessments" at 6 years old is a bit much. Did the kids think of it as an assessment? If so is it possible that made him more hesitant or nervous to play? Whatever the case, I wouldn't push any organized activity if they didn't want to do it and I wouldn't worry about being "left behind" - especially at 6 years old. There are also usually great rec leagues out there that are welcoming of all skill levels (our rec soccer goes through high school and I know kids who joined for the first time in high school).
I think the point of “assessments” at that age is to make sure the teams have an even mix of kid of different ability levels, sizes, etc so all the good kids or big kids don’t end up on the same team. Nobody is saying “this kid doesn’t make the team” at age six. But they do want to make sure one team of big nearly 7-year olds doesn’t dominate a team of just-barely-turned 6-year-olds.
I would NOT push sports if they're not interested in it. I also think soccer "assessments" at 6 years old is a bit much. Did the kids think of it as an assessment? If so is it possible that made him more hesitant or nervous to play? Whatever the case, I wouldn't push any organized activity if they didn't want to do it and I wouldn't worry about being "left behind" - especially at 6 years old. There are also usually great rec leagues out there that are welcoming of all skill levels (our rec soccer goes through high school and I know kids who joined for the first time in high school).
I think the point of “assessments” at that age is to make sure the teams have an even mix of kid of different ability levels, sizes, etc so all the good kids or big kids don’t end up on the same team. Nobody is saying “this kid doesn’t make the team” at age six. But they do want to make sure one team of big nearly 7-year olds doesn’t dominate a team of just-barely-turned 6-year-olds.
I guess. But if the kids think of it as an "assessment" I can see it causing some anxiety.
When our kids were that age it was like pinkpeony08 described - most of the kids were standing around, chatting with their friends, skipping as they ran to the ball, etc. Sure there were some kids that were naturally good players but no one really dominated. For us our kids just wanted to be out there with their buddies from school. But I guess our rec league is different because you sign up and can request a team with your friends. If you don't request a team you'll be randomly assigned to a team. They never did assessments to balance the teams and it was never an issue (until they got to middle school and some teams would try to break the rules and have select players on their rec team. And when the league found out they'd tell the coaches they had to remove the select players or the team would be kicked out).
We don't push a particular sport but we do require that he does something active. He did soccer for several season and decided that he didn't really like it. Right now he is doing break dancing, swim lessons, and piano. Next session he will do tennis instead of break dancing and maybe go back to break dancing over the summer. We are doing swim lessons so that he has the skills for swim team in the summer. I don't necessarily care if he is fast enough to win but I do want him to have the opportunity to make more neighborhood friends through swim team.
We are also doing a wide variety of camps this summer so he can try lots of different things: - Theater camp - Outdoors camp, with canoeing, hiking, and trips to the local water park - Gymnastics camp - STEM camp - Golf camp
I wouldn't push it. Neither of my kids have been into sports. My youngest did nothing until middle school and then decided to go out for cross country and track. This year, he tried out for and made the basketball team. Sadly, catching mono meant he couldn't play.
Long story short, not playing when he was young hasn't interfered with him being able to play now that he's interested.
My older kid is very athletic and would happily play every sport, every season.
My younger kid is not interested in sports at all. He’s tried a season each of soccer, tball, and basketball, and has declared them all “too much work.” He’s taken weekly swim lessons since around 18 months and that is strictly a safety skill - he can quit once he passes the program, just like my older kid. He has taken a ninja and parkour class, and liked both of those. But generally, he’s just a low energy, non-competitive kind of guy and really isn’t pulled towards any sport so far.
I don’t think there’s any need to force kids to play organized sports! I do want mine to be involved in SOMETHING, but it doesn’t have to be a sport. My younger kid is currently in a music class and will likely do their musical theater program next season. I’m perfectly happy with that.
My DD was a bit like your DS - talented at kicking a ball, but totally disinterested in the game aspect of soccer until the end of her U7 season. She tends to be hyperaware of her surroundings and of the other kids, and I think she was really intimidated by a big group of kids all going for the ball at once (since it's mostly herd-ball at this age). She spent most of last season practicing her cartwheels on the pitch and preferred the practices where there was more of a structure. We didn't care because she was outside and getting exercise and our league is very chill for kids this age. At the end of last season, something clicked and she started to enjoy the games more. This season she is really going for it and has even scored a few goals. Your DS might just need some time to warm up to it, or he may want to try a more individual sport like gymnastics or skating. Either way, I agree with pps that it's not worth it to push any activity at that age.
We made him do 1 sport per year until he reached middle school. He bounced around a bit before he settled on soccer which he did soccer for 2 seasons per year and seemed to enjoy the practices but absolutely hated the games. The coaches knew he disliked the game pressure so he didn't play often.
He happily quit when we let him.
He now does higher level swim lessons for purely exercise. He also does scouts and 2 after school clubs to keep him out of his room.
Thanks all and sorry for the post and run! Work got crazy.
I am always questioning my parenting choices, so I really appreciate all the responses. DS is an only and absolutely thrives at independent sports - swimming, biking, running, tennis. I am not worried about his activity level since he never stops moving. I guess I just love the idea of DS being part of a team, so he can learn teamwork. If soccer isn’t his thing, I won’t push it.
Thanks all and sorry for the post and run! Work got crazy.
I am always questioning my parenting choices, so I really appreciate all the responses. DS is an only and absolutely thrives at independent sports - swimming, biking, running, tennis. I am not worried about his activity level since he never stops moving. I guess I just love the idea of DS being part of a team, so he can learn teamwork. If soccer isn’t his thing, I won’t push it.
Is he into robotics at all? Like I said above, my kids were never into sports but we also wanted them to have some team participation so both of my kids have done robotics which involves a lot of team work.
The best thing kids can do at that age is unstructured play time. I freaking hate what kids sports have become.
My older kiddo cried every second of sports we threw her in when she was little. We stopped doing this when she was about 6. She went back to it on her own in 5th grade and now she’s a varsity starter in 9th grade. She’s good at soccer because she wants to be 🤷♀️
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
If they want to try something we sign them up, and if they aren’t that into it, we ask they finish out the season. Each did one season of soccer around 5/6 and then we switched to baseball. My oldest started doing flag football and loved it, so we decided to switch both kids to that. We all loved baseball and being on a team with friends, but it got really competitive for my oldest around age 9 and I think my youngest does better with a faster paced sport. They LOVE flag football. All the kids at school play soccer at recess and now my almost 8 year old is obsessed with soccer and wants to join a team again. We will probably start with a low commitment rec league. I think doing a game style assessment for 6 year olds seems ridiculous and it may not be the right league for a beginner. I hate that sports get competitive so young but I think aside from baseball, you can find leagues for beginner up to age 10. I wouldn’t stress or push it. Keep trying new things. One of my nephews does swim team and fencing. Another does lacrosse which isn’t as common where they live so he started in middle school.
Thanks all and sorry for the post and run! Work got crazy.
I am always questioning my parenting choices, so I really appreciate all the responses. DS is an only and absolutely thrives at independent sports - swimming, biking, running, tennis. I am not worried about his activity level since he never stops moving. I guess I just love the idea of DS being part of a team, so he can learn teamwork. If soccer isn’t his thing, I won’t push it.
Is he into robotics at all? Like I said above, my kids were never into sports but we also wanted them to have some team participation so both of my kids have done robotics which involves a lot of team work.
I think he would love robotics. I will look into it!
Thanks all and sorry for the post and run! Work got crazy.
I am always questioning my parenting choices, so I really appreciate all the responses. DS is an only and absolutely thrives at independent sports - swimming, biking, running, tennis. I am not worried about his activity level since he never stops moving. I guess I just love the idea of DS being part of a team, so he can learn teamwork. If soccer isn’t his thing, I won’t push it.
There are tons of ways to learn teamwork without sports, I promise he’ll be fine! My oldest learned teamwork through musical ensembles and involvement in the school play and has thrived on that (they’re currently drum major for the HS marching band, which is like being team captain). While sports can be convenient for both exercise and teamwork, their are great ways to get those skills elsewhere.
Thanks all and sorry for the post and run! Work got crazy.
I am always questioning my parenting choices, so I really appreciate all the responses. DS is an only and absolutely thrives at independent sports - swimming, biking, running, tennis. I am not worried about his activity level since he never stops moving. I guess I just love the idea of DS being part of a team, so he can learn teamwork. If soccer isn’t his thing, I won’t push it.
He can learn teamwork outside of sports. Like other suggestions - stuff like robotics, drama, music, scouts, etc etc. all incorporate working together. Even individual sports can have a team aspect.
Oh ... we sent V to this 2-week long sports and games sampler camp in the summer. He said that was a lot of fun, even though he was limited for most of the week because he had gotten a mild concussion at Parkour camp. You might try something like that.
(If anyone reading is in Seattle, this is "Hall of Fame Sports" camp).
man, I am so jealous that you guys have these activities near you! My kid would be in heaven.
my kid wants to do ALLLLLLLLLL the sports and loves team activities and independent sports. He loves biking, skiing, skateboarding, soccer, t ball, basketball, ice skating (claims he wants to try hockey), karate, swimming, run club...
We have to limit him to one group at a time; right now it is Saturday ski lessons. When that is done he will do swim lessons and then T ball. Summer we used to do karate but now we just enjoy swimming...soccer in the fall, etc. If it were up to him he would be in two or more activities at a time, but we all need down time and I cannot afford that, lol.
He is signed up for theater camp right now and might do a circus camp later this summer, both of which I think he will love.
We seem to be limited on a lot though due to his age (6). A lot of camps and clubs are for older kids only (mountain biking, robotics/stem, etc).
I wouldn't push it. DD has tried a dance and volleyball, and ended up quitting both due to lack of interest. She is more creative, so sports aren't really her thing. I hated taking piano lessons growing up, but my mom made me. I don't want to do that to my kids - I would rather spend time and money on something they actually enjoy.
The state of youth sports today makes me sad. The fact that kids have to essentially pick a sport so young and stick with it, and play in a club or travel team, in order to be able to play on a varsity team in HS, or even have a chance to play after HS, makes me sad. (At least, this is how it is in my area.) Youth sports should be about learning new skills, learning to work in a team, getting some physical activity, and having fun.
DS has been amenable to trying most things, though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care if he wasn't in any sport. But he doesn't fight us on it, so we do them. If he was begging not to do them we would not make him. We don't have a ton available here but he's done soccer, t-ball, and now community center basketball. He seems to like them all enough, has fun at practices/games, and has matured each year and gotten better. I do think it's good for him to be in sports and learn to be part of a team. Also he's an only child, so it gives him more time with peers and something structured to do.
My 6YO is NOT into team sports but somewhat enjoyed karate, likes swim lessons, and really loves Kid Strong (it’s like individual running/obstacle courses/etc with some character lessons on things like leadership and gratitude built in). We try to do something physical because of our long cold winters. My oldest just got into basketball at almost 9. He definitely isn’t the best, but he tries hard and has held his own, and he loves it.
6 is super little to make any big decisions. I would stick to rec leagues that focus on learning the fundamentals of the game (for soccer around us it's Tiny Tikes, I think they have leagues all over the US).
Keep trying different things so he can figure out what he likes - teams, individual, contact, no contact, etc. Don't forget about gymnastics, karate, tennis, golf, etc. I totally get wanting to get him in something now so he isn't way behind the other kids, but he will have plenty of time to figure it out - our oldest is 10 and there are still new kids each year on her team playing the sport for the first time.
Also, I know a lot of kids who cried on the field and just stood around their first time playing soccer, then loved it the next year. My DS spent the first few years of baseball catching caterpillars. A few years will make a big difference.
Sports aren't the end all be all about way to be active and learn how to work with other people on a team.
My DS(7.75) has never really expressed interest in any sports and has never played on a team before. If he never does I'm 100% fine with that.
I'm the youngest of five. Only one of my siblings did sports. The rest of us did choir or band and we were all involved with church activities. Just because we didn't do sports didn't mean we weren't active; we were hiking weekends from March-October and/or walking/riding bikes near our house (in the boondocks).
Post by browneyedgirl9 on Feb 6, 2024 21:12:37 GMT -5
My son showed no interest in sports when he was 5/6. We let it be and had him do other things that interested him. It was only at 9 yo that he started showing interest, and we started him in local recreation sports. Now at 10yo he is joining a travel team. It's still possible to still get involved in sports later on. And it will be less stressful then keeping with a sport that he doesn't like yet.
I wish there were more options for kids who aren't interested in a competitive/high level league, or just want to learn a little bit about a sport and try it out without a big commitment, all through elementary (not just when they are 4 years old).
For example, my younger girls have never done softball b/c it didn't work for us. I'd love it if there were like a 4 time workshop just about learning to play/learning the rules at any age...not that you had to start in 5K and by 3rd grade everything is super competitive and time consuming.
We just got a flyer about rec dept track for elementary. I thought that might be fun to try until I saw that it was two 75 minutes sessions a week, plus 90 minutes every Saturday!!! I think that's crazy. Not only does it then of COURSE conflict with other activities, but it's way too much for kids who just want to casually check it out.
I don’t know if your town offers it but look into fall ball. Our rec softball league has it-no games. Just clinic. I think it runs for two months for an hour once a week. They loved it and it is a great way to try Softball.
Also, I know a lot of kids who cried on the field and just stood around their first time playing soccer, then loved it the next year. My DS spent the first few years of baseball catching caterpillars. A few years will make a big difference.
This is why we continue to push sports with DS. He is this kid, the distracted one picking grass in the field. But it's gotten a little better each year. I definitely had the urge to quit or not do the sport again when he was like that, but he is improving so I'm glad we stuck with it.
Also, I know a lot of kids who cried on the field and just stood around their first time playing soccer, then loved it the next year. My DS spent the first few years of baseball catching caterpillars. A few years will make a big difference.
This was DD at 6 years old. She didn't cry, but she would stand in one place on the field and stare at the grass. She wouldn't interact at all during a game. But she insisted she wanted to play so we kept going. Within a year she was tearing up the field.