DS1 took off his diaper after a nap and smeared poop everywhere in his crib. The walls, the crib railings, and DS1 were covered in poop. When I went up to get him, I felt like I was in a horror movie, the scene was just horrible. I yelled out the window to DH that he had to come inside RIGHT NOW. DH cleaned up the crib/walls and I gave DS1 a bath. I think I had to bathe him 3 times. But DH definitely got the worst of it, having to clean each individual crib rail that was poop covered. After that incident, he never got to nap in just a diaper again.
I had a dog that used to chew her foot enough to make it bleed. One day she got the wrap off, chewed, and paced frantically around the entire house. When I came home it looked like several murders had taken place. Every carpeted area was covered in blood. I don't even remember how many bottles of peroxide I used.
some of these are horrifying! And some are hysterical.
So grateful that my kid never did any of these things, lol.
My worst I think was pretty lame in comparison: slow drip coffee over mug, somehow I knocked it over and hot coffee and coffee grounds went EVERYWHERE.
1. My nephews used an entire bottle of sunscreen (a big one) to paint all of the wood furniture in our guest room when visiting and supposed to be napping. Trying to clean sunscreen off a leather top desk was... interesting.
2. My adult younger sister drank too much at a family wedding and vomited all over the back of my dad's car on the way home. I was temporarily staying with them but had left the wedding early with my very pregnant older sister, and saw my parents trying to heave her out of the car. I fireman carried her into the basement, stripped off the pukey clothes, then carried her up 3 flights and dumped her in the shower (she was tiny) where my mom started hosing her off. In her hair, underwear... I don't know what she was doing in the back of that car...
Then my dad and I got to work cleaning out his car at midnight. My dad... does not drink. He was horrified, but was trying to make light of it while cleaning with commentary... "huh, I don't remember having that at dinner..." Definitely the grossest.
Off topic, but people with ADHD are really super organized in a crisis/mess. We get sh!t done.
We had a bad summer storm that caused our power to be out for 8 days. H and I were delirious with boredom by day 7 so we decided to tap a growler of homemade beer we had been saving. It was over-carbonated and as soon as he popped the top it shot up all the way to the ceiling and spread out over the ENTIRE kitchen. We had to scrub every inch of the sticky kitchen-- stripped down to our underwear because it was 80+ degrees inside, in the dark.
The sewer backed up into our basement and my German Shepherd rolled in it. She rolled in so many gross things over the years.
We had greyhounds and they were very skittish (don’t ever visit a greyhound track - those dogs are abused). This was back in the day, and my mom was on the corded phone. The dog got tangled in the cord, freaked out and shot liquid poop everywhere. The phone ripped off the wall and hit me in the head. It was quite the mess
Our roomba knocked several bottles of wine out of the storage container, then proceeded to spread red wine and broken glass shards… everywhere. Can confirm that the thing did a great job of getting every area possible. At least it wasn’t poop?
Not to one up you, but... cat pooped in the dining room and the Roomba ran... you can picture the rest.
My son used the bathroom in the middle of the night and clogged the toilet. The toilet ran all night and overflowed all through his bathroom and out into the hallway. Poop water all through the first and second floor of our house. It leaked through the floors into the kitchen.
I was right out of college. Drank too much. Next day threw up on the carpet in my (shared) bedroom - and was so hung over that I used the vacuum to clean it up. Not a good choice.
Same apt - roommate left a bag of red potatoes in a cabinet. We had no idea what this horrible smell was until we found the bag of wet, rotten potatoes. Ugh. Nasty.
Eta: Most amusing was when the cat got into a package (clamshell) of glazed donuts. Gotta love his persistence in getting that packaging open.
My 2 year old caught giardia from my BIL's dog and didn't poop for days. When he finally did, it happened overnight in his footie pajamas. From above his waist down to his toes he was completely covered in a layer of poop. It looked like he was wearing poop colored pants. He went straight in the shower and his pajamas went straight in the trash.
Post by chickadee77 on Feb 6, 2024 12:18:47 GMT -5
Funniest/worst? My H was pressure sealing a jar of pasta sauce and the lid came loose. The sauce went straight up, like a geyser, until it hit the ceiling fan. Fifteen years later, I still find an occasional spot of tomato.
Actual worst was many years ago, my parents rented their house (we lived in a different area a couple hours away) to a couple guys. They seemed super nice, but ended up getting arrested for growing in one of the bedrooms. They also had large dogs that they let in (against the lease) who destroyed a lot. They also worked on their motorcycles in the living room. The whole place was a mess. It took weeks to clean up before we could even get to the point of doing repairs.
I had literally just gotten a brand new (to me) car. A 2006 Chevy Cobalt, lol. But H's best friend projectile vomited all over the backseat after a night of drinking.
Despite having a kid I don't recall any crazy poop stories, luckily.
I was taking a pumpkin cheesecake out of the oven for Thanksgiving. The springform pan sides came loose, and it fell so half was in the oven, half was on the door, and then dripping/falling through the crack between the oven and the door, ugh that sucked so bad.
Oh wait no. Senior year of college I had the basement room in our townhouse off campus, got super drunk. Didn't feel well so I decided to go to my room but I projectile vomited all down the basement stairs to my room. That also took a while to deal with.
Funny because for the first time in 4 years since I've had kids, my youngest puked in her crib and our bed this morning.
But so far, the worst mess was 18 eggs falling off my trunk on the super cold garage floor. It froze almost instantly. I had to wait for warmer weather to take care of it. I removed 80% of the mess right away and luckily, it was mostly the whites frozen to the floor.
Post by lightbulbsun on Feb 6, 2024 15:59:11 GMT -5
I was fostering a puppy with parvo and she vomited and had explosive diarrhea throughout the house a few nights after she came home. We took her to the vet the next morning as soon as they opened and she ended up spending a week there, but did make a full recovery. If you've ever smelled parvo vomit/poop, it is especially foul. Plus, you need to get it all up because the virus can live for up to a year.
My twins would get car sick on any ride over 30 minutes from babyhood to about age 4. So so many car seat vomit clean ups! Eventually I sewed giant bibs out of towels and would drape it over each of them for any car ride to help protect us all from the mess.
This one wasn't a big mess in terms of scale, but it was totally demoralizing. We used cloth diapers when the girls were babies. I had just finished washing and drying and organizing all of the cloth diaper inserts into a pile at the end of the changing table. This was a monumental task, given twins and new mom exhaustion, etc. And then I went to change a baby and she projectile pooped at exactly the right angle that she got poop on every.single.one of the diaper inserts I had just washed. It was probably like 50 inserts. All dirty again instantly. I can't believe I didn't just give up on the cloth diapers forever after that.
My brother’s dorm room. He wasn’t a freshman but I don’t remember what year it was otherwise. It wasn’t nasty but severely disheveled like the Tasmanian Devil had been through it. The desk was upside down on top of a mountain of paper. Like how does that even happen. Too bad we didn’t have cell phone cameras back then!