Birthday party cost - update cost in OP

[al dente]

How much do you typically spend on a friend birthday party? How many kids do you invite?

I am having such a hard time planning a birthday party, and I think a major part is sticker shock. Everything I have looked at is $25-50/pp, including adults which is where I'm getting held up. A lot of birthday parties I've been to the whole family shows up, and I don't want to be the person saying it's just for kids (I also don't want to be responsible for all the kids, but also don't want to be paying for a family of 5...)
Help me figure out if I just suck it up and parties are $$$$ or if there's something I'm not thinking of.

***********
Update of costs:
Gymnastics rental for up to 15 kids: $400
Decorations: $120
Food: $200
Tip: $100

I think that's everything? I didnt realize how much I had spent on food until just now adding it up. That was Costco pizza, Costco cake, and juice/water basically.
I had a few cancellations the day before so I couldve done the up to 10 kids package which was $350. I was looking at reviews the this place in 2018 was $150 for 15 kids 😭
The party was fun though! Big thank you to everyone who suggested a gymnastics place, everyone commented how they never knew of it for parties but the kids had a lot of fun.

[gretchenindisguise]

Parties around here where you go to a place or have people come to you to entertain the kids are expensive.

They also aren’t required.

We have done lots of cheap invite the whole class parties at a park where we had games we set up ourselves. Bring in pizza or panera and everyone was happy.

At 8/9 we switched to smaller parties at our house. 4-5 kids only. Works out well.

[wanderingback]

Well I think a party can be whatever you want for a budget and whatever you make of it. There are soooooo many options. And just because other people spend a lot doesn’t mean you have to. If you don’t want to spend what places are asking you to pay then I would pick a different option. Party at home, party in a park, etc. Do you have any local mom/family groups that you can ask for suggestions for a party? (This is a common question that comes up in one of my local groups and many people don’t have a lot of money). Or invite just a couple of close friends if want to do something a little more expensive. I also think it’s reasonable that the invite only be for the kid and not their 4 siblings.

[waverly]

How old is your kid? In my experience it’s pretty clear what is a drop off party just for kids and what is the whole family. You just have to specify on the invitation by saying drop off your kids. If the family chooses to stay the parents are usually not counted in party place headcount, but siblings would.

The very cheapest would be in your home. The next step up would be renting a room at a community center and providing your own pizza and running the entertainment yourself. We did that this year by renting the pool lanes and adjoining room and they entertained themselves in the pool but they are older and could all swim. Lifeguard and life jackets provided. But you could just do games and run them yourself or rent a covered pavilion at the park. It always rains if I try outside but maybe in drier climates.

I’ve done a park district run party and a gymnastics party in the $300 range. I noped right out of the $45 per person party that everyone else does.

Family parties were the norm for 0-5 age group and drop off kids only was the norm for the 8+ group. Age 6/7 it kind of depended on the parent comfort level but the venue makes it pretty obvious that only the kids are actually participating in the actual party and the adults just chat in the background unless you are planning something more family inclusive.

[thebreakfastclub]

My son is having a party at the trampoline park next Sunday. That day is cheaper than Saturday. It's $225 for 10 kids.

I don't care if siblings or parents stay, but I'm certainly not paying for them.
The package is for 10 kids.

I also once had a video game truck come to my home, again the package was 10 kids.

I've never experienced an adult trying insert themselves or other kids into a paid per person event.

[waverly]

Feb 17, 2024 10:45:57 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

My son is having a party at the trampoline park next Sunday. That day is cheaper than Saturday. It's $225 for 10 kids.

I don't care if siblings or parents stay, but I'm certainly not paying for them.
The package is for 10 kids.

I also once had a video game truck come to my home, again the package was 10 kids.

I've never experienced an adult trying insert themselves or other kids into a paid per person event.

I’ve definitely had siblings show up but then I also had someone no show so it all worked out. It happens more when the kids are younger and there isn’t childcare for the sibling.

I’m really surprised that a kids party venue would charge for adults, but I guess it does happen at some venues. Luckily none around here.

[nicolewi]

Our parties tend to be about 250 to 300ish dollars, for things like pottery, ice-skating, rollerskating, gymnastics, he come etc. That usually includes some thing like 10 to 15 kids, and parents never expect to be included. If parents stay and watch, like gymnastics, the venue does not charge for those parents just sitting there. Typically we then pay for our own food and cake. Sometimes there is some kind of cheap slice of pizza or something included in the rate.

It is very expensive, but also usually totally worth it not to have the party at your house! And I will say that I ended up paying quite a bit for parties at our house a few times where I planned some semi-elaborate cool craft, decorations, a lot of food, photo, backdrop, etc. Still adds up.

[pandorica]

My friends had a party at a park (zero cost), invited whole families and had bagels/fruit/coffee and cupcakes. Super low cost and the kids all had fun.

DD has a March birthday so we can't do that. We probably spend $250-400 on parties at home for ~6 kids, no siblings invited because I have so far hired some sort of entertainment. The adults eat food but there's nothing else I really need to cover for them?

[al dente]

Feb 17, 2024 10:45:57 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I've never experienced an adult trying insert themselves or other kids into a paid per person event.

So I think this is just more the culture here? My kid gets invited to a TON of birthday parties, and I am always the only single parent. (We have a 2yr old so find it easier to divide and conquer so my H typically stays home with the younger one). Its always a whole family that shows up, it's very more the merrier type feel for parties.

My kid is turning 6, and I've done the home and park party. This might be our last birthday here so I wanted to do a little more. Plus she's in K now and has a million friends, and gets invited to a ton of parties so I kind of feel bad not reciprocating.

That's interesting most places don't charge for the adults. Every where here does. That's the thing killing me. There's a two story indoor playground my kid loves, but it's $20/pp including adults. The zoo is $50/pp for every person. The community rec spaces have a 12 person limit which is basically my family plus two more. Ive looked at it all and been to all the birthday party spots 😂

[expectantsteelerfan]

In K and 1st, we did parties where we invited the whole class. And that was also when we moved from doing 'family friends' parties where the entire family would come to just the kid would be dropped off, or maybe a parent would stay but not participate.

It makes sense that somewhere like the zoo would charge for every person, but around here places like the trampoline places, gymnastics, art, indoor pool, etc. all charge per kid and the adults are free to stay and 'watch' but not participate.

Have you considered a movie theater? Around here it was actually cheaper to rent out the whole theater for a showing than it was to have a party at some of the other popular places.

[heygrey]

This is one of those things we have totally opted out of. We do small parties at home with a few friends and I spend maybe $50 for some snacks and a cake.

DS's birthday is Feb 28. The weather can be iffy, but our Canadian kids will still go outside for a bit unless it's pouring rain. They play with DS's toys and now that we have a Switch, I'm sure they would entertain themselves with Mario Kart. I do not plan activities.

When DS was preschool age I hosted a Saturday brunch for PJ's and Pancakes. It was 3 other moms and they'd stay for mimosas while our kids played or watched cartoons. It was literally the same birthday every year and we all loved it.

[felicity]

This sounds really regional because I haven't really witnessed people bringing entire families to a party unless it was friends of the family outside of school. But, I've also heard people who move to my area say that people aren't very friendly here lol, so maybe there is a correlation.

Do you guys have a Chuck E Cheese? They are really reasonably priced compared to other party places around us, super easy to plan (all online), and don't charge for adults. Kids always have a blast there.

[mcppalmbeach]

I’m surprised that so many places charge for adults! It would definitely be unusual for that here. It makes sense for the zoo though. Our indoor play places are always adults are free unless the adult wants to participate. That did present a problem at one birthday party I went to because the parents bought the premium package that including things like go-karts and bumper cars, but the kids weren’t big enough to go alone so they ended up paying for parents to go and do those things with the kids and I’m sure it cost them a small fortune.

Parties are just expensive if you have them somewhere that isn’t home or a park. Chuck E Cheese used to be the most reasonable, probably still is at about $30 per kid including food plus tax. Our children’s museum has a super reasonable package that’s about $250 with two adults per kid…with food separate, but I’d say that’s not really for any kid over 5ish.

[thebreakfastclub]

I'll also add I never did a friend party until the year my son turned 7 and could appreciate it a bit more.

He has had friend parties every other year basically, so 7, 9, 11. Not the whole class, ever.

[loira]

DD is 8 and we've only hosted 2 friend parties because before that was COVID, and before THAT I had no interest to host parties for a toddler.

Her birthday is in winter, which rules out anything cheap outside, and our condo isn't big enough for a party. We had one party at a trampoline park $350 for 10 kids. And one party at the rec centre $250 for up to 20 kids (no limit on adults. No adults wanted to join the trampoline party (to jump) but lots did stay presumably in case of injury. A couple of parents asked if siblings could jump and offered to pay for them which was no problem. For the rec centre party, we specifically mentioned on the invitation that siblings were welcome. Only a few adults stayed. I only made enough cupcakes for the kids and nobody cared. People here seem to think kid parties are for the kids.

But when I lived in Brazil, kid parties were 💯 for everyone and a host would expect to feed a ton of guests.

[VillainV]

We’ve done a few trampoline park-type parties. They’re expensive, but we generally only have 10-12 guests. Adults don’t participate, and people generally understand that unless a sibling is specifically invited, their parents pay for them to bounce.

A few other options we’ve seen:

- Rent a gaming truck, and have the party at your house (but the kids are in the truck for all but cake)

- Local gymnastics, martial arts, or Ninja gyms

- SoccerShots or similar place

- Crafting studios or maker-spaces

Fortunately we are moving out of “friend party” territory.

[dcn]

We’ve only done a couple of friend parties. Most years we invite 2-3 close friends over to have cake for like an hour.

I did Ds2’s 8th bday at the indoor pool on base. $30 to rent their party room, $3 per swimmer, then I did cupcakes, chips, juice boxes, and stickers and bracelets for favors. It was under $150 and we had 15ish kids there.

Parents came but I didn’t pay for them or for siblings (though at $3 each I didn’t care). Lots of families go to parties here but it’s understood that they have to pay for themselves or siblings if necessary.

Other places I looked into:
Roller skating
Ninja gym
Bowling
Laser tag


We do not do the $25+ per kid parties.

Ds1 took one friend on a zip lining tour for his bday this year. Much preferred and easy to coordinate.

[meanie]

Around us it is 300 - 500 at a place for 8-10 kids. That usually includes pizza and some type of activity. We don't pay for adults but add a few extra pizzas, no one really expects much at these types of parties and it's usually just one parent for each kid invited, some are starting to drop off as the kids get older.

There is an upcharge on everything if you say it is a party, but you can avoid that if you don't need a designated room and are able to show up early and snag a table somewhere.

[mcppalmbeach]

Do you have a gymnastics or dance place that does parties? I was thinking it would be less likely to charge for adults.

[Poppy]

We just had my kindergartners party and I wish we could have invited the whole class, but the venue could only accommodate 20 kids. We did it at a rec center and they got 1hr of gymnastics time and 1hr in the party room for $250. Most of the commercial venues are significantly more expensive. For my 9yo's birthday we shopped around and everything he wanted to do was like $400-500. Luckily found a hole in the wall arcade place that let us rent out the whole place for under $300.

I wish our kids had summer birthdays and we could do park parties! But the weather here in the winter is very unpredictable so planning an outdoor party is a big gamble. As it was, we got a small blizzard the day of DD's party and about 1/3 of guests opted not to venture out.

Anyway, I agree with the suggestions to ask around. There are probably some options you haven't considered.

[Poppy]

Oh, and some of our local rec centers (we are close-ish to 3 districts) will let you have a pool party where you don't officially get the party package, you just snag a table for the food and pay admission per swimming person. That would be way less than $20/p.

[vmars]

When DS was young we had parties at our house. Our old house had a large finished basement which served as his playroom. The adults hung out upstairs while the kids went crazy in the basement. We would order pizzas and get a cake from Costco. He’s had 5 parties different places, the most affordable was a retro arcade for $17 a person. We brought our own food.

DS2 was born in January 2020 and still has not had a friend party, just family at the house. He has 26 kids in his pre-K class and we can’t afford that lol.

[macmars45]

Feb 17, 2024 14:54:35 GMT -5 Poppy said:

I wish our kids had summer birthdays and we could do park parties! But the weather here in the winter is very unpredictable so planning an outdoor party is a big gamble. As it was, we got a small blizzard the day of DD's party and about 1/3 of guests opted not to venture out.

Same. April is very unpredictable. It could be sunny and 65 or 40 with rain & wind. Or it could snow like in 2022.

[meowmaps]

We’ve had two parties at the house/our neighborhood splash pad. The only costs were food, drinks, baked goods, and my mental health (ha). Really though, I’m not a natural hostess so I prefer outsourcing. This summer will be our first time hosting a birthday party post-kindergarten. DD1 is one of 24 in her class. There is no way we will invite more than 25% of her classmates. She has her little group of buddies there and a couple friends from preschool. Not sure where we’re doing the party but my youngest is turning 3 three weeks after my oldest turns 6. The guests would be the same so we’re going to do a joint party. My guess is we’ll end up at Chuck E. Cheese, Billy Beez, or a local petting zoo.

ETA: One of DD1’s friends has a January birthday and had a party at a local park. It happened to be one of the coldest days all winter, but everyone bundled up and still had a great time. The parents had coffee and donut holes for everyone.

[waverly]

I’m wondering if there are bigger rooms you can rent. Our township building has a room that would fit 75. We have another place here where you rent the space and then everything seems to be add on so you can bring your own food or purchase their food package. Make your own decor or work with a party planner to bring in smaller play stuff for toddlers or slightly larger bounce stuff. It holds maybe 35 people. Maybe a private clubhouse might rent rooms or an HOA might have rooms to rent. A chain place likely wouldn’t charge for adults for example trampoline park or Chucky Cheese.

[noodleoo]

Birthday party places have gotten so expensive since Covid around here! The kids playplace we did DD1’s 4th bday party in 2019, the price is now DOUBLE! We spend $299 for it and it’s now $599. I can’t imagine spending that much on a kids party.

We did the trampoline place last year for both kids and I think it’s about $350 for 10 kids including pizza. We say “no siblings” on the invite and only had 1 person bring a sibling anyway. And you don’t pay for adults if they don’t jump (which most don’t).

Prior to that, we did 2 parties at home where we hired princesses to come. That was cheaper, but SO much work for me. I was willing to pay to outsource it last year because big home parties are so stressful and exhausting.

This year DD1 is turning 9 and I’m encouraging her to do a smaller thing, like invite 3 friends to do an activity or movie or something. I’m kind of glad to wind down the big parties because the cost is really out of control. Not sure what I will do for DD2 (turning 6). She’s starting K this fall so I’m guessing we will splurge on a bigger party for the next year or 2 and then scale back. it is nice to know it’s only a few more years and then it seems to naturally dial back anyway.

[momin2013]

We pay around $350 for 10 kids at a party place (laser tag + arcade, includes pizza). Adding parents wouldn’t really be an option, and honestly having parents show up and expect to play laser tag with the kids at the party would be really unbelievable - it just…would never happen.

What would happen if you write on the invitation “drop off at X:00, pick up at Y:00”? Unless the kids are really young (I’d kindergarten or less), I wouldn’t expect parents to stay…

[scm1011]

We also make a note that we cannot accommodate siblings due to capacity limitations. Its never been an issue.

I live in HCOL and I generally pay $400-500 for a party for 8-10 kids (including food, which I always serve), choosing one of the middle of the road options. Our local trampoline park is $700 for 10 kids and that just seems bananas to me. My oldest is in 1st grade and it seems like most kids have moved to drop off parties this year.

[Poppy]

Feb 17, 2024 17:28:16 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

What would happen if you write on the invitation “drop off at X:00, pick up at Y:00”? Unless the kids are really young (I’d kindergarten or less), I wouldn’t expect parents to stay…

She replied in the comments saying it's a 6th birthday, so yes, kindergarten. We just had a party for my 6yo and several families had both adults come. We also didn't specify about siblings and several brought siblings. So the numbers do add up quickly!

[momin2013]

Feb 17, 2024 18:14:24 GMT -5 Poppy said:

Feb 17, 2024 17:28:16 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

What would happen if you write on the invitation “drop off at X:00, pick up at Y:00”? Unless the kids are really young (I’d kindergarten or less), I wouldn’t expect parents to stay…

She replied in the comments saying it's a 6th birthday, so yes, kindergarten. We just had a party for my 6yo and several families had both adults come. We also didn't specify about siblings and several brought siblings. So the numbers do add up quickly!

Ah, ok - yes at 6 I might expect some parents to stay (although for DS’ 6th we rented out a movie theatre and literally 0 parents stayed, lol).

OP, all I have to add is that as the kids get older you’ll likely (hopefully!) find that the parents won’t stay anymore, so you don’t have this issue forever.