Post by lavenderblue on Apr 19, 2024 7:52:35 GMT -5
I'm going to just provide the basics here without completely complicating the issue, but I'm happy to answer any questions.
I have 2 kids w/ my 1st husband, let's call him Kevin.
DD is 17. When she got her license at 16.5 Kevin's Mom gave DD her old car. Since that time I have been paying the insurance and gas for DD. She actually totaled that car so I got another car with the insurance money and put in a little extra as well. Now DD and I share that car ('06 Honda Accord) and my car ('13 Acura MDX) depending on who needs to go where or when.
DS just turned 16 but does not have his license and won't for a minimum of 6 more months. He is currently in his 2nd year of Automotive Technology at the Trade School associated with his High School. Kevin wants to give him his '88 Ford Mustang as a "project car" that DS can work on for the next 6mths until he gets his license. Kevin does not want this to be DS' "daily driver" as he said it's "too much car" for that.
My plan has always been to give DS the '06 Honda, give the '13 Acura to DD, and get a new car for myself. I would continue to pay for insurance and gas for both kids.
So here is my question, who should pay the insurance for the '88 Mustang, me or Kevin?
I think all insurance, on cars that the kids will solely drive, should be split evenly between you both. If you are using the vehicle too, I think it should be your responsibility.
Longer answer…if Kevin wants to give your son a project car, anything and everything that an adult needs to do for that project should be done by Kevin.
I agree with bbdoll , also no 16 year old needs two cars.
Don't even get me started. I am not happy that his Dad is giving him this car. It's like, "I'm such a great Dad, here's a car kid, but you have to spend your own money fixing it up, but you aren't allowed to actually drive it because it is too powerful for you". Like, seriously, wtf.
Giving him a car that is going to cost a bunch of time and money to fix, and then but restrictions on how much he can drive it? Omg lol. What does your DS think about this situation?
I would also argue he should be splitting the insurance with you on the other two cars (DD’s currently and the other once your son gets his license), was that part of the divorce settlement?
Even if divorce doc spells everything out about insurance, mustang should fall solely on Kevin since it’s an extra car that he wanted to give but isn’t needed and won’t be the daily driver.
Giving him a car that is going to cost a bunch of time and money to fix, and then but restrictions on how much he can drive it? Omg lol. What does your DS think about this situation?
And of course Kevin should pay.
There is a ton of backstory here that I didn't include because I wanted opinions on if this were a somewhat normal family situation LOL DD doesn't even talk to Kevin any more and DS only sees him like once a week because he feels guilty. I know that Kevin is dangling this car in front of DS as a way of keeping him under his thumb to make sure one of his kids still talks to him, so there's that. DS really wants the car, but mostly because he wants something that is his that he can work on and tinker with, I don't think he cares one bit about the restrictions from Kevin.
But I also HATE when people give gifts and then try to rule how the person uses that gift! Once you give a gift you no longer have any say in the matter Kevin!!!
Can it be a project car and still technically belong to Kevin? I mean, it doesn’t have to be a gift. I am assuming that the car would probably be kept at Kevin’s house and that’s where most of the work would occur? If so, it doesn’t need to change ownership, and Kevin can cover all costs associated with registration and insurance, and can keep a tighter control over how the car is eventually used.
I used to be married to a guy who had project cars, and it was a PITA. A “six month project” is more likely to take someone a few years, and SO MUCH SPACE needs to be dedicated to the car, the tools, etc. Maybe your son really wants to put in the work, and maybe eventually he’ll have the driving skills and maturity to drive it more often and Kevin would want to give him this car permanently. But until then, it sounds like this might not be an appropriate gift for a non-custodial parent to give a 16-year-old.
But I also HATE when people give gifts and then try to rule how the person uses that gift! Once you give a gift you no longer have any say in the matter Kevin!!!
Normally I’d agree with you if it’s like Aunt Bethany telling you that you can’t spend the birthday money on candy. However I don’t think it’s out of bounds for a parent to give their child a car and then put restrictions on the usage (not driving at night, no more than 1 passenger at a time, etc for safety). That said it is ridiculous in this case because if you think it’s “too much car” for him then don’t give him the car lol.
Can it be a project car and still technically belong to Kevin? I mean, it doesn’t have to be a gift. I am assuming that the car would probably be kept at Kevin’s house and that’s where most of the work would occur? If so, it doesn’t need to change ownership, and Kevin can cover all costs associated with registration and insurance, and can keep a tighter control over how the car is eventually used.
I used to be married to a guy who had project cars, and it was a PITA. A “six month project” is more likely to take someone a few years, and SO MUCH SPACE needs to be dedicated to the car, the tools, etc. Maybe your son really wants to put in the work, and maybe eventually he’ll have the driving skills and maturity to drive it more often and Kevin would want to give him this car permanently. But until then, it sounds like this might not be an appropriate gift for a non-custodial parent to give a 16-year-old.
Unfortunately Kevin lives in a Townhome community with no driveway or garage. I have a SFH with a large driveway and 2 car garage and I've promised 1/2 of the garage for DS for his project car. It's a good sized garage and is extra long which will give DS plenty of room to have his tools. Of course, the plan was originally for DS to purchase a project car of his choice, not to be gifted his Dad's mid-life crisis car, but I digress LOL
But I also HATE when people give gifts and then try to rule how the person uses that gift! Once you give a gift you no longer have any say in the matter Kevin!!!
Normally I’d agree with you if it’s like Aunt Bethany telling you that you can’t spend the birthday money on candy. However I don’t think it’s out of bounds for a parent to give their child a car and then put restrictions on the usage (not driving at night, no more than 1 passenger at a time, etc for safety). That said it is ridiculous in this case because if you think it’s “too much car” for him then don’t give him the car lol.
Longer answer…if Kevin wants to give your son a project car, anything and everything that an adult needs to do for that project should be done by Kevin.
This, otherwise it somehow becomes a 'project' for you in one way or another. He needs to own every part of it with your ds or not do it.
Post by donutsmakemegonuts on Apr 19, 2024 10:24:00 GMT -5
Yeah, I would also agree that Kevin is on the hook for the insurance for the car he wants to gift your DS. It's his gift, so he pays. You already had a plan for the cars for your family that you were paying for, so anything beyond that is Kevin's responsibility. Also, it is annoying that he would dictate how your DS should use it. I get that he is the parent also and it sounds like it's a responsible choice given the type of car, but then that just means that he should be responsible for it even more. You dictate how and when it can be used, then you are on the hook for the cost.
It's no different if Kevin were to buy him a brand new car and gift it to him and then say you're responsible for the insurance. You didn't buy the car, you already had a car for DS, so he should pay for the insurance if he wants him to have it.
I'd say Kevin, but in reality I'd pay insurance just so that Kevin has no say once he signs the car over. /petty
ETA: You don't need insurance on a vehicle that isn't being driven. If the car is in parts there's no need. If it's a hobby car that will be driven once in a while then that also lowers insurance prices. I think what I would do is talk with your son about insurance prices/difference between rates and have HIM pay the difference if he wants to make it his daily driver. Turn it into a lesson about insurance, obligation, etc.
Post by ellipses84 on Apr 19, 2024 10:52:32 GMT -5
Kevin. A compromise would be the kid paying for some of it. Car insurance is very expensive for teen boys and it’s Kevin’s idea. I don’t think you should be paying for insurance for 2 cars for a teen. Hopefully they give a discount considering one car wouldn’t be driven much.
Post by ellipses84 on Apr 19, 2024 10:54:33 GMT -5
To add, it’s a different insurance scenario when it’s a non-operational vehicle vs when it’s running and he starts driving it, even short distances to test it out. I’d have Kevin give you money and keep it on your insurance with the other cars.
But I also HATE when people give gifts and then try to rule how the person uses that gift! Once you give a gift you no longer have any say in the matter Kevin!!!
Normally I’d agree with you if it’s like Aunt Bethany telling you that you can’t spend the birthday money on candy. However I don’t think it’s out of bounds for a parent to give their child a car and then put restrictions on the usage (not driving at night, no more than 1 passenger at a time, etc for safety). That said it is ridiculous in this case because if you think it’s “too much car” for him then don’t give him the car lol.
Well, yes. Normal restrictions are fine. The situation at hand is clearly not that though.
Unpopular opinion-does anyone's kids pay their own car insurance especially after being gifted cars? Pay their gas, etc? I know insurance can be expensive for a teenager, trust me, I know. But what about them paying a portion of the insurance?
You don't need to insure a car that isn't being driven.
Honestly, I think once the project car is ready to be driven, you get rid of the Accord. The Mustang becomes DS's only car and you pay the insurance - then there's nothing tying this car to Kevin and he has no say in how it's used.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Apr 19, 2024 11:53:37 GMT -5
Kevin, definitely. And this “gift” of a car doesn’t seem like much of a gift, your child gets to put in the hard work of fixing it (does he also have to pay for what’s needed to fix it, or would some of that be part of what school provides?) but not being able to drive it as their regular transportation? What’s the point of a teenager having a car if they can’t use it as their regular transportation?!
Of course I don’t know anything about Kevin but this seems like a judge Judy episode waiting to happen where someone gives someone else an item of low value because it doesn’t work well and as soon as it works well the other person’s like oh I want that back and then everybody’s mad.
This seems like a bad idea. Doesn’t the school provide cars to work on?
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As someone with historic/project cars, I would check your state regulations as to whether an inoperable vehicle needs to be insured. If allowed in your state, I'd get only storage coverage while it's in the garage. Then, your son can retitle/plate and insure it (as a historic vehicle-- separate policy from the "regular" cars) if and when he's ready to drive it-- which depending on the condition of the car will likely be longer than 6 months from now. In my opinion, your son should pay for the insurance on that car while in storage and once he's driving it.
ETA: Again, state-dependent, but there are a lot of rules about insuring and driving historic vehicles and it takes a lot thinking about needs, wants, and available plans to find the right policy. My historic vehicles are insured for the "true worth" of the car (vs. it just being an "old car" worth basically nothing if it got totaled). The trade-off is that I'm only allowed to drive it under certain circumstances (cannot commute to work or school in it) and have a limit on the number of miles per year I can drive it.