wwyd? Best friend annoyed by continous problem

[Kore]

Hold up. Did the dude who vanished after his livescan ever show up again?

[puppyluv]

Was this the same friend who didn't want to hear about the new house you were buying either? If so, it seems to just be a pattern of her only wanting to talk about herself.

If you have been best friends for 20 years I would just keep a little more distance and stop talking to her as much. Just answer every other call or so. You can't have to be available all the time.

[cajunmom]

How do you know she wants to hang up? Or do you just *think* she wants to hang up?

[womet]

Sept 26, 2012 17:26:18 GMT -5 puppyluv said:

Was this the same friend who didn't want to hear about the new house you were buying either? If so, it seems to just be a pattern of her only wanting to talk about herself.

If you have been best friends for 20 years I would just keep a little more distance and stop talking to her as much. Just answer every other call or so. You can't have to be available all the time.

Wasn't that hereonceagain? Jimboo, are you hereonceagain?

And how is it a GBCN but only during the day? Either you are gone or not.

[womet]

Sept 26, 2012 17:31:40 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

Sept 26, 2012 17:27:19 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

How do you know she wants to hang up? Or do you just *think* she wants to hang up?

She calls ME and then asks how I am. If I say great, she goes on to talk about herself. If I say I'm not doing well (which is not THAT often) she will say she need to go for various reasons.

Really? Obviously you're talking about yourself more than she'd like. Either that, or she's a really crappy friend. Fair weather friend.

[womet]

I think therapy is a good idea. It's nice to have someone who can be objective when listening to you. And then you have an outlet for your frustrations/concerns/random thoughts. And then you won't put strain on your friendship.

[ECB]

She's a truly great person who only wants to talk about herself? Doesn't want to hear about your new house or your step kid, etc?

Honestly, I wonder if you're trying to convince yourself that she's "wonderful" simply because you've been friends for so long and you don't want to admit that you've spent the past 20 years being "BFF's" w/ someone who really isn't all that great and only want to tlak about themselves.

[Deleted]

This is why I love therapy. It's like having a best friend you can totally trust who expects NOTHING in return. Except money. LOL. Anyway I got the point where I realized I was burdening my friends/partner with the same issue over and over again and then I went to a therapist. She can hear about my mother once a week for an hour. She actually loves talking about my mother and will steer the conversation back to her if we get off topic. Anyway your sanity is worth the money. Check your insurance benefits. I only paid $20 a session.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 17:59:53 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

Ok, so for those of you who've experienced therapy - question. I've been to some in the past and I know they are all about listening. It's "how does that make you feel" combined with a million other questions that get you to talk.

But in your experience, do they ever give advice?? I just haven't seen that. I want someone who is willing to do a lot of talking themselves on suggestions and ideas and advice on how to improve things.

Sometimes it can be frustrating but, no, they do not give advice. My issue was how to handle my relationship with my mother so my therapist would listen and then she would say "next time, how would you react to that situation?" which would help ME figure out the best approach. TRUST ME I wanted someone to just tell me what to do too but that's not their bag.