Speaking of memories--confession & question

[flex]

This Friday the yearly Women's Show begins. My girlfriend and I typically go together every year on Friday. This year she asked me if I wanted to go, and I've declined. I haven't been forthcoming on telling her why): five years ago she and I went to the show on the opening day--Friday afternoon. The following morning DH passed away. For some reason (maybe because of the five-year anniversary) I just don't want to go with her. It brings back too many bad memories.

I have a cute little felt bag that I had bought at the show. After Chris passed, I had a hard time concentrating and I was always losing my cell phone so I finally put my cell phone in it and wore it around my neck. Now even looking at it makes me sad

Here's the question: How about you? Do you associate an event with some tragedy in your life? Do certain things, places or situations bring back painful memories?

My gf is probably wondering why the hell I'm not going so it occurred to me I should tell her why.

[scotty]

I'm sorry. That must be hard.

I did/do. I mean, I can't do that anymore, I have to make new memories, good ones, or else I'd hate the whole year, tbh.

[MWOS]

One night I lost my cell phone and that was the night my dad nearly died. I was woken up by my roommate the next morning who told me my sister called her and my dad had been read his last rites and airlifted somewhere and I needed to leave immediately. It was years before I could sleep without having my cell phone next to me and even now if I can't find it immediately in my purse I get panicky.

[partiallysunny]

I'm sorry flex.

There are things I associate with my grandmother. She taught me to crochet and to make the most amazing cheesecake. It took me along time to make a cheesecake after she died. I cried. I still haven't been able to make a calzone.

[nadasteph]

For me it's Valentine's Day. The first year I lived with my H, it was our first Valentine's Day in the same city since we'd been long distance before that, well I was sad he was out of town working for Valentine's day and I was wishing he would be back for it. His dad died the night before at like 11pm. I had to call him at 3am on Valentine's Day all by himself in a hotel room and tell him his dad died. He took the first flight home in the morning, which of course was delayed. People must have thought I was so pathetic bawling my eyes out in the airport Valentine's day morning. That day every year, and that baggage carousel makes me think about that morning.

[averyjessup]

I'm so sorry

My husbands best friend died in a scuba diving accident a few years ago and H got the phone call when I was at the Nashville airport coming home from visiting a friend. He called me hysterical, it was horrible. I went back to Nashville once after and had a panic attack in the airport, I can't bring myself to try again.

[kellbell191]

For me it is the smell of Pond's face moisturizer. Smells like my Mom. I also get sad when I hear certain music she used to play (she was a professional musician).

[lust2hart]

I'm sorry, flexie. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you'd want to skip out on it this year, and yes, I do think you should tell your friend - I can't imagine she wouldn't be understanding. I can't believe it's been 5 years already!

[ninakir88]

I hate elevators because I got my hand stuck in one when i was around 3

[Awkward]

I was in a (not serious, no injuries, but totalled vehicle) car accident in high school. I will go 10 minutes out of my way to avoid that intersection. If for some reason I HAVE to go through there I try and just focus on the license plate in front of me to avoid looking at the spot where it happened. Still makes me panicky thinking about it today.

I'm sorry for your loss, flex.

[Deleted]

:: hugs tight for flexie::

H and I are total saps. We celebrate every 23rd of the month, since that's the day we met.

May 23rd of this year FIL died of a massive heart attack. It's also his grandmother's birthday. He was pronounced dead at 323am. I have my cell phone on me all the time and up loud. We didn't get there in time to say goodbye.

When we were wedding planning, FIL gave H his 1931 Model A Roadster to fix up to use for our wedding. H did a beautiful job on it. Well, FIL gave it to H. When FIL died, H went over to his parents house to get something for MIL, he saw the car and broke down. I have never seen him cry and this broke me. Now when I see the car I hurt so bad on the inside thinking about it

The car is sitting in our garage right now.

[pantsparty]

I cannot hear "Amazing Grace" without ugly crying.

I'm so sorry

[flex]

Sept 27, 2012 14:40:59 GMT -5 twostep said:

My DD passed away 14 years ago. To this day, walking into a flower shop and smelling the blend of all the different flowers takes me back to her funeral. Every single year I have take xanax before ordering flowers for my daughters' dance recitals because the panic attack is inevitable.

OH TWO STEP!! ({) (})
I had no idea!!! I'm so terribly terribly sorry!! ({) (})

[Marle]

Oh flexie I'm sorry.

I guess my loss is so recent I haven't caught myself doing anything like that. Although every time my DH asks me when we are going back to Colombia for budgeting and time off purposes. I tell him I don't know. I don't see myself going back there. I can't even tell you what kind of event or reason would make me think about it.

[mypunkinpie]

I'm sorry for your loss, flex. People grieve differently and you should never be ashamed for the choices you make in order to handle your grief. Whether it's 5 yrs. or 500 yrs. after the fact.

I have my own triggers that remind me of the death of my Dad. When that panicky feeling comes on, I immediately try to think of something happy and good about him. I remind myself that he would want me to be happy and remember how much he loved me, not how much I miss him. It's not easy but it helps.

[amberlyrose]

I'm so sorry flex

I have a couple- Superbowl Sunday/Feb 7th. I was supposed to go on a date with my boyfriend that Sunday but ended up working my friend's shift because her team was playing and she REALLY wanted to watch it. My boyfriend committed suicide the next day.

The Albuquerque Sunport reminds me of the morning I left for basic training. I was perfectly ok until I got right outside security and immediately ugly cried all over DH (then boyfriend). I had to go through security there last week after my cousin's funeral and the flood of memories came over me.