I never really had a curfew in high school because I was rarely out late. LOL. I was a nerdy kid. I had good friends, but we just weren't the partying kind. I also didn't have a boyfriend in high school. The first time guys showed any interest in me was the summer after I graduated, and they were all awkward as hell (pot, kettle I know LOL).
I was occasionally out late, like when we went to Pittsburgh for a concert and got home at 3 am. But my parents knew where I was and when to expect me.
I lived in the dorms in college and thus had a lot more freedom. But I (mostly) drank pretty moderately and didn't go too crazy with my new-found freedom. I didn't become a heavy drinker until my 20s. LOL
But now I think you're talking about 2 different things. I think there is a difference between strict and coddling/overbearing.
I completely agree with this.
I think coddling/overbearing is what prevents maturity and independence. To me this would be parents being overly involved or attached to their children, doing things for the child that the child should do for themselves, spoiling them, etc.
Being strict is having rules and expectations for your child that may seem harsh or severe to others.
I was an only child of a paranoid mother. My parents weren't crazy strict, but they were always worried. I had a curfew, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without calling when I got there and calling when I left.
I remember feeling jubilant elation when my parents finally pulled away after moving me into the dorms. I could go anywhere! Do anything! I was FREEEEEEEE!
Turns out, that night, pure freedom meant walking across the street to Campustown, getting a burrito and a full-fat Coke, and sitting in my room watching Pretty Woman. Shit didn't get real until I actually had some friends on campus.
Post by whitepicketfence on Sept 28, 2012 13:19:07 GMT -5
I had it pretty easy in high school. I didn't have a curfew and my parents allowed my BF (now DH) to sleep over at times, although not in my room. I was a good kid and got good grades. I was also heavily involved in dance and theater productions so I didn't have many opportunities to get in trouble.
I wasn't allowed to leave our town for college or live on campus. I ended up hating the school I went to and dropped out after a year and a half. I got a full-time job while I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and it was during this time that I went through my wild phase.
Post by mrs.spunky on Sept 28, 2012 14:50:31 GMT -5
I had little to no freedom in HS. My curfew was 9PM, 10PM on weekends even for school-related activities. I had to be in bed by 9:30 on weeknights as well. I had a cell phone my senior year, and a car, and I had to call my mom when I got to school and when I got home.
In college, I had to call home each night at 9PM, and if I went anywhere off campus where I was driving I had to let my parents know. I also had to call home as soon as I got back to campus. The one time I didn't, and went straight to Mass with some friends, my dad had campus police go to my room to see if I was there.
They were paying for school, my phone, and my car insurance so they made the rules.
My mom still has me call/text when I get home from my parents' house, so she knows I'm ok.
Post by theintended on Sept 28, 2012 20:52:47 GMT -5
I was a kid who was raised by parents who were previously extremely strict. By the time I was 17 (and my siblings were in their late 20s), they let me do things that surprised even me (i.e. camping with girls and boys, sometimes allowing me to stay at my boyfriend's or him at our house -- though "not in the same room." We had sex elsewhere instead. lol). I remember my brother being horrified and blocking the door from my leaving one night while my mom was silent. Ha. I was a pretty good kid for the most part, though, so I think they just trusted me in a way they didn't trust my siblings.