s/o high school freedom

[zombiemuse]

In the living on campus thread a lot of people keep mentioning all the freedom that comes with it. I felt like I had a ton of freedom in high school, especially my junior and senior years.

I didn't have a curfew, I had my own car (paid insurance and gas), cell phone (which I paid) and money to spend. I basically did what I want. When I moved out the only thing that really changed was having to pay more bills.

How did your freedom change after high school?

[mrssavy42112]

I didn’t board in college either, but I had a lot of freedom in HS. Our school was really lenient & I often could come & go as I pleased. I didn’t have a curfew and just did whatever. I was a pretty good kid, though, so there wasn’t much to monitor or be strict about.

[SJ]

Interesting. My parents clearly delineated the line between high school and college.

In high school, we were still considered children living under their roof and had to follow rules, let them know our whereabouts, etc.

In college, we were generally considered adults responsible for ourselves.

Of course, it is a transition, and not an overnight one, but they definitely didn't let me do whatever I wanted in high school. Yes, I had a car and paid for the gas, but that didn't mean I could go camping with my boyfriend or stay out all night or whatever else I would have wanted to do at that time. I had curfews through high school.

ETA: I generally agree with my parents on this topic. I cannot stand when parents "baby" college students, getting over-involved in their studies or schedules or social lives or paying for their credit card bills and social lives. I think independence is incredibly crucial and I cannot stand helicopter parenting.

[ijack]

I had a ton of freedom, but was too busy worrying about disappointing my parents to actually do anything with it. And I probably had the freedom because they knew they didn't have to worry about me.
I went crazy when I got to college. Especially with the credit cards :/

[Deleted]

I had a curfew, cell phones didn't exist, and I didn't have a car. So, when I got to college, I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without worrying about a curfew or my parents. I could also come home drunk and not have to worry about parents being around!

[Awkward]

This is the kind of thing that reeeeeeeally depends on the kid and the parents. I can't physically imagine telling a 16 year old they don't have a curfew. I was a goody-two shoes and all my parents asked was that I be home by 11:30. Saying that you don't care when your child comes home seems....sad, I don't know.

I guess I lacked freedom, but I had 2 jobs my junior and senior years, and was responsible for driving my sister's ass all over town as a condition of driving my grandma's car. It wasn't a rule, but I was expected to be home for dinner as a family. I was fortunate not to have to work in college (probably because I busted my ass in high school), so to not have to be responsible for my sibling or work WAS a lot of freedom!

[cjeanette]

My parents were very strict in HS. I think they would have liked to been in college as well but refrained.

[SJ]

Also I worked all throughout HS & college, and would expect my kids to do the same (at least for spending money, even if we were paying for school) unless they had problems or extenuating circumstances that made it impossible to both work and succeed in school.

[wannabe]

i was a pretty responsible kid, and my mom didn't really impose a curfew until i got a boyfriend. all of a sudden, it was "be home by midnight!"

considering the amount of freedom i did have until then, though, i'm surprised i didn't do any stupid shit. i never drank or tried any drugs or anything crazy - the worst thing i ever did was stay out till 2am with a boy i liked, sitting in the driveway just talking.

damn, i was a dork.

[ijack]

Sept 27, 2012 15:53:32 GMT -5 Awkward said:

This is the kind of thing that reeeeeeeally depends on the kid and the parents. I can't physically imagine telling a 16 year old they don't have a curfew. I was a goody-two shoes and all my parents asked was that I be home by 11:30. Saying that you don't care when your child comes home seems....sad, I don't know.

I guess I lacked freedom, but I had 2 jobs my junior and senior years, and was responsible for driving my sister's ass all over town as a condition of driving my grandma's car. It wasn't a rule, but I was expected to be home for dinner as a family. I was fortunate not to have to work in college (probably because I busted my ass in high school), so to not have to be responsible for my sibling or work WAS a lot of freedom!

My parents didn't need to tell me because they knew I would be home. I was the ultimate goody two shoes and I really liked my sleep

[winnied]

In HS I had a curfew, a car they paid for, rules about boyfriends, friends, etc. It sounds ridiculously strict but I thought it was normal and not completely awful. I knew it could be worse.

My parents let me do whatever in college. They knew, and even sort of encouraged, that I drink when I go to school. I had a glass of wine with them at family events but they minded their business at college. They also knew my bf (now H) came to visit so all bets were off.

[Deleted]

well, in NJ you can't get your license until 17, so that definitely cut down on the amount of freedom I had. I lived in suburbia and you needed a car to go anywhere. No cell phones back in the dark ages. I did have my "own" phone line but I shared it with my two sisters and it was used for internet as well (AOL DIAL UP HOLLA). Shared one computer between everyone in the house.

I didn't have a curfew or anything, but until I was 17 (end of my junior year), I had to have my parents take me everywhere- and they worked full time. Senior year was really my first taste of freedom when I got my car.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2012 15:56:36 GMT -5 ijack said:

Sept 27, 2012 15:53:32 GMT -5 Awkward said:

This is the kind of thing that reeeeeeeally depends on the kid and the parents. I can't physically imagine telling a 16 year old they don't have a curfew. I was a goody-two shoes and all my parents asked was that I be home by 11:30. Saying that you don't care when your child comes home seems....sad, I don't know.

I guess I lacked freedom, but I had 2 jobs my junior and senior years, and was responsible for driving my sister's ass all over town as a condition of driving my grandma's car. It wasn't a rule, but I was expected to be home for dinner as a family. I was fortunate not to have to work in college (probably because I busted my ass in high school), so to not have to be responsible for my sibling or work WAS a lot of freedom!

My parents didn't need to tell me because they knew I would be home. I was the ultimate goody two shoes and I really liked my sleep

yup. I didnt have a curfew either but I rarely stayed out past midnight unless I was sleeping over a friend's house (just had to let them know where I was).

[zombiemuse]

I should add that I was a good kid, honor student, dance team, etc. Because I was responsible my parents trusted me on overnight camping adventures with friends (which happened a lot). Having a cell phone made it easy for my parents to get a hold of me if necessary but I generally let them know "going to Kimmy's after school and likely spending the night."

By my senior year I only had 4 classes, 2 of which where dance and all started after 12 PM.

This is probably flammable but my senior of high school I spent most nights at my boyfriends house. He was in his 20s and I was 18. There was often drinking involved. My mom knew about it and we talked about drinking limits, not driving drunk, etc.

I have a very open relationship with my parents so I think that's why I had more freedom than most. I didn't lie and knew what was expected of me.

[Susie]

My freedom changed a LOT from high school to college.

I had a curfew. I had an early bedtime that I had to make in order to have car privileges.* I had my parents looking over my shoulder a lot. I shared one computer and a dial up connection with the rest of the family.

Then I left for college and had none of that.

*I was getting up at 4am for swim practice every day, and my parents insisted that I get 8 hours of sleep. It was their "thing." That meant RIDICULOUSLY early bedtimes. Good for my swimming, lousy for being a normal kid.

[Deleted]

OP- how old are you? Trying to remember when I got my first cell phone. It was in college, but definitely not freshman year. Cell phones in HS seem so foreign, but I guess even people 2-3 years younger than me could have had them.

[ijack]

Sept 27, 2012 16:12:09 GMT -5 @blessed said:

Sept 27, 2012 16:06:36 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

OP- how old are you? Trying to remember when I got my first cell phone. It was in college, but definitely not freshman year. Cell phones in HS seem so foreign, but I guess even people 2-3 years younger than me could have had them.

Yeah I got a cell phone senior year I believe (graduated in 2002). However I still remember calling my parents from friend's houses and using a land line a lot as well too.

I was in college when I got mine, so probably around 1999ish.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2012 16:14:45 GMT -5 ijack said:

Sept 27, 2012 16:12:09 GMT -5 @blessed said:

Yeah I got a cell phone senior year I believe (graduated in 2002). However I still remember calling my parents from friend's houses and using a land line a lot as well too.

I was in college when I got mine, so probably around 1999ish.

I know I definitely had one for 911, so I guess I got it soph or junior year, probably in 1999 or 2000.

[Some Funny Name]

As someone who lived in their own apartment from 18 on, I am kind of LOL'ing at the thought of all the "freedom" you're "allowed" when living in a dorm room that someone else is (probably) paying for, with other people, with rules enforced by the school. That would have been a huge step back for me, freedom-wise, at that point, and is probably why I never lived on campus.

[sillygoosegirl]

My parents didn't place any restrictions on me in high school, but there wasn't much to do to exercise my freedom in high school. I went to see "Star Wars Episode I" 7 times in the theater I was so bored.

[zombiemuse]

Sept 27, 2012 16:17:23 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Sept 27, 2012 16:14:45 GMT -5 ijack said:

I was in college when I got mine, so probably around 1999ish.

I know I definitely had one for 911, so I guess I got it soph or junior year, probably in 1999 or 2000.

I had one in high school so sophomore year. I'm in my mid-20s.

[zombiemuse]

Sept 27, 2012 16:10:25 GMT -5 @blessed said:

Sept 27, 2012 16:02:10 GMT -5 zombiemuse said:

I should add that I was a good kid, honor student, dance team, etc. Because I was responsible my parents trusted me on overnight camping adventures with friends (which happened a lot). Having a cell phone made it easy for my parents to get a hold of me if necessary but I generally let them know "going to Kimmy's after school and likely spending the night."

By my senior year I only had 4 classes, 2 of which where dance and all started after 12 PM.

This is probably flammable but my senior of high school I spent most nights at my boyfriends house. He was in his 20s and I was 18. There was often drinking involved. My mom knew about it and we talked about drinking limits, not driving drunk, etc.

I have a very open relationship with my parents so I think that's why I had more freedom than most. I didn't lie and knew what was expected of me.

Well I don't think being honest and open necessarily means all parents will let you do whatever you want. I guarantee you that if I told my parents (well my dad specifically) that I was spending the night with boys and drinking and there might be some weed there he wouldn't let me leave the house that night.

I was a good kid, got good grades, excelled in sports, etc, that still didn't mean my parents let me do whatever I wanted. Different parents have different methods.

I think I'll be a little less strict than my parents but I do think I'll impose a curfew and wouldn't give my child blessings to go drinking and staying the night with the opposite sex when they're still in high school.

I agree. I know my parents were "the cool" parents. Doesn't mean that I didn't have my ass handed to me once or twice though.

I just thought it was interesting how much it came up in the other thread about all the freedom they had once they hit college. Like this whole new world opened up to them. I almost wish my parents were a little more strict. Almost.

[Deleted]

I don't think anything was different, except that my curfew was maybe a bit later. I wasn't responsible for anything financially really until I was out of law school. My allowance (which was flexible because I also had one of their credit cards) covered what my parents didn't pay for directly (though I took out loans for my law school tuition).

Had I come home the summers during law school, I imagine I would still have had a curfew. My parents are not fans of being woken up in the middle of the night. But really, there's nothing to do in my very sleepy hometown after 1 anyway.

I got my cell phone in the summer after my first year of law school, which was 2002. Only one of my friends had a cell phone in college that I can remember.

[Deleted]

My parents are immigrants with non-American attitudes and tiger parenting inclinations.

Thus, college was my Braveheart moment, as there was no freedom in high school.

[zombiemuse]

Sept 27, 2012 16:25:44 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Thus, college was my Braveheart moment, as there was no freedom in high school.

This just gave me the best mental image of you running around your campus with a blue face yelling "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." ;D

[sa]

In HS I never had a curfew, had my own car and cellphone. My parents weren't strict with me because I was a good kid. For the most part I could pretty much do what I want.

Except, my dad was not open to the idea of me dating at all. And he was pretty scary about it. Fortunately for him, it was pretty much a non-issue back then.

However, college was a different story. I'm glad I could do all my dating without having to introduce anyone to my dad. My now H is the only guy I had meet my dad, and thank god that was it. The very first thing my dad said to my H was "How about you come check out my gun collection". Going through that once was more than enough for me.

[pugz]

The summer between jr. and sr. year I spent 8 weeks taking college classes at a kind of college prep camp at a university. Lived in the dorms, ate in the cafeteria, had my car to drive around town, etc. It was only about 3 hrs from home but I definitely felt freedom at that point. My boyfriend came to visit and pretty sure I lied and said he was staying with the guys in the guys dorm. Then when I came back for senior year I think my parents were much more hands off and felt I was pretty much an adult and able to make my own decisions.

I was a hot mess senior year and totally moody and ridiculous but they gave me space to figure out where I wanted to go to college and all of that. I did have a curfew, maybe 11:30? I lied and snuck around a lot, started having sex, lied lied lied about things like where I slept on prom night. It all came out the summer before I left for college but my parents never blew up about it, just wanted me to be safe.

I got most rebellion out of my system senior year and then during freshman year at college. Then I met dh and he kept me on the straight and (sexless) narrow

[Deleted]

I never had a curfew. My parents just had a rule that when I got home I had to go into their bedroom and let them know I got home. It was a ingenius rule because who wants to wake up their parents at 4 in the morning? Also if I was drinking I had to appear sober lest they berate me the next day. My parents were never strict. I started going to bars when I was 16 and my dad would drop me off and give me cab money to get back home. They are (and remain) all up in my business so getting to college and not having someone looking over my shoulder 24/7 was awesome. Also I was never allowed to have soda so when I had full access to a soda dispenser three times a day I went overboard.

[Deleted]

I didn't technically have a curfew but my parents wanted to know where I was, who I was with, what time I would be home at all times. I had a car but no cell phone. I definately had much more freedom in college, except when I cam home for break, then my parents tried to put in place a curfew.

[Deleted]

I had a curfew & had to account for my whereabouts. Cellphones did not exist. I owned & paid for my own car. I had no freedom at home--I had chores, expectations of behavior (follow their rules), get excellent grades & was expected to either do a sport (daily practice) or work an after school job. My time was accounted for... My moms motto was "keep them busy & broke". I also had plenty of family obligations with my siblings like going to their sport games to cheer them on, babysit, etc. College was freeing but I feel my HS experience was great too just different. My strict parents probably kept my inner wild child in check & by college I had a more mature attitude.