At work I supervise 5 employees. Today we had a big training with several sites combined. Afterwards I happened to catch a glance at one of my employee's page of notes from the training and saw a note on the side that basically said "Kershnic is being quiet now - she has bad skills in [insert major job duty]." I suspect that she wrote this note to one of my other employees who was sitting next to her. For one, I'm personally offended. For two, it majorly affects our work together if she doesn't trust that I'm capable of doing this major thing. And it majorly affects our office if one of my workers is talking shit about me to the other workers. None of them have ever questioned me on this skill before, and I specifically know that our higher ups don't question my skills in this area. And the reason I was not commenting during that part of the training was that I didn't feel I gained anything personally from talking and I really don't see the point in wasting limited training time with someone from the outside with me talking. They can listen to me anytime. But I don't know if this is a deeper felt concern or just an off-the-cuff comment in the moment.
I needed to get other things done and didn't know how to handle it, so I just ignored it. But it's still really bothering me well into Friday evening. Do I go back and confront her? Try to address the issue without acknowledging why I'm bring it up? Ignore it and keep doing my job the way I am?
Post by thegooser on Sept 28, 2012 20:32:20 GMT -5
I would not bring it up. If you made the decision not to speak up for a well-thought-out reason, then her criticism shouldn't matter.
However, you should probably take into consideration that someone considered your decision not to speak as being a poor reflection on your major job duty, and maybe consider making yourself heard next time.
Personally, I'd try to be humble and take the critique into consideration. Confronting her will only result in censorship and will not serve to increase her trust in you. You can't verbally convince someone that you are good at your major job duty, you need to show them. She'll just hide her notes better next time.
But also... you'll never please everyone. Don't let it shake you too much.
You're a supervisor. People are going to bad mouth you and there's not a thing you can do about it. Just like they are probably bad-mouthing other coworkers. It happens.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Sept 28, 2012 20:34:17 GMT -5
There's not a boss on this earth who isn't trash-talked by their employees. If you try to defend your skills in this area, you'll just seem insecure. Let it go.
Post by theintended on Sept 28, 2012 20:38:04 GMT -5
I'd probably say nothing, unless and until it was affecting work in a more direct way. You say, "it majorly affects our work together if she doesn't trust that I'm capable of doing this major thing." Has it majorly affected your work together so far?
In the meantime, I'd try to think a bit more about the reasons why this co-worker might be thinking something like this and consider whether it's something I could or should address.
And this could be any number of things, for example:
1. Annoyance that you're all sitting through outside training if she thinks it should be your job to train the team on the topic 2. Jealousy of your position 3. Camaraderie with the coworker she was sitting next to that might provoke some fairly innocuous shit-talking 4. Questioning your ability to lead, in general, related to your years at the company, age, educational background, race -- any number of things that may or may not be germane to your effectiveness
And say what? Your employee wrote something not nice about you?
She didn't say it to you. She apparently hasn't said or done anything previously, don't take your job dislike out on her. Or bring this up elsewhere, it will make you look petty.
If something actually happens address it. Until then, focus on doing your job well. And I agree with the suggestion to improve team communication. Get to know them and listen to them.
Has it majorly affected your work together so far?
4. Questioning your ability to lead, in general, related to your years at the company, age, educational background, race -- any number of things that may or may not be germane to your effectiveness
I don't know if this specific issue has affected our work together so far, but the office dynamic is weird and not so good. This is overall an issue that I've been trying to work on, and people two levels above me have also been stumped on how to improve.
Regarding your point 4, there are in fact some very tense issues regarding age, educational background, and race. This is very sadly a much wider issue than just me and my little unit, but it's a good point that these bigger issues could relate to this more specific issue.
As a manager, I vote you do say something. You are right that trash talk is not helpful and not inevitable.
I would say that you saw the note and while you realize it was not meant for you to see you would like to address it. Let the employee know that you highly encourage the employee to directly bring any concerns she has to you or your manager. That you would appreciate she speak respectfully about her colleagues and you and address issues/concerns with those that can directly affect change. That you would like to avoid as much negativity as possible.
Post by thegooser on Sept 28, 2012 21:00:36 GMT -5
I might ask your supervisor if there's anything she thinks I can do to improve my skills in XYZ area. But I think you said you got specific clarification on that recently, right? If so I wouldn't ask again. I would not tell your sup what you saw. Or anyone else at work.
Keep in mind, her comment was made in context. She was maybe bored, annoyed, tired, stressed about something unrelated, etc. In a utopian land where you could ask her point blank, she'd probably give you a much more nuanced and balanced evaluation of your skills. In short, she probably didn't mean it how it sounded in a one-sentence note.
As a manager, I vote you do say something. You are right that trash talk is not helpful and not inevitable.
Hm, the voice of dissent.
I honestly just want the office dynamic to improve... I want them to be able to tell me if they're not getting what they need from me as their supervisor. This indicates to me that maybe they're not, which if that's their experience would be a fair criticism and something I'd try to work on. But generally insulting me gives me nothing to work with...and I feel like I would have to say something about this in order to find out what's really going on - but am also scared that everyone here is right and that would make it worse instead of better.
As a manager, I vote you do say something. You are right that trash talk is not helpful and not inevitable.
Hm, the voice of dissent.
I honestly just want the office dynamic to improve... I want them to be able to tell me if they're not getting what they need from me as their supervisor. This indicates to me that maybe they're not, which if that's their experience would be a fair criticism and something I'd try to work on. But generally insulting me gives me nothing to work with...and I feel like I would have to say something about this in order to find out what's really going on - but am also scared that everyone here is right and that would make it worse instead of better.
edited for clarity.
While I don't think KC's suggestion is bad, I also don't think that by doing what she suggests, that you will get the desired outcome. I think she will feel called out and shut down, which will curb the trash talking but will not earn respect or foster a more open environment.
But I think you said you got specific clarification on that recently, right?
...
Keep in mind, her comment was made in context. She was maybe bored, annoyed, tired, stressed about something unrelated, etc. In a utopian land where you could ask her point blank, she'd probably give you a much more nuanced and balanced evaluation of your skills. In short, she probably didn't mean it how it sounded in a one-sentence note.
Yeah, about as clear as I think I can get from my direct supervisor, within the last few weeks.
She quite probably was bored, tired, and generally irritated..... hopefully you're right.
There's not a boss on this earth who isn't trash-talked by their employees. If you try to defend your skills in this area, you'll just seem insecure. Let it go.
So true. CWer and I have a weekly bitch session at the bar. We both like our boss. lol
Do you do evaluations after training? Ask for strengths and improvements that can be made in each area. Maybe she will offer some suggestions on ways to improve.
I would not confront her. There is no way that will help morale.
It depends on where the trainer comes from, but not usually with this type. But even if we did, they'd be evaluating the outside trainer and not me. They actually just got a chance to evaluate me at my recent performance review, but it's optional and none of them chose to do it. That's technically anonymous, but we're small enough that I'm sure they don't really trust it.
EDIT: I feel like I should do a follow up post on effective ways to improve morale without spending money.
Argh. I think you're all right. But I'm really starting to hate this job and I can't seem to get this out of my head.
A follow up question - should I mention it to my supervisor? She has generally been very supportive of me and just gave me a good performance review.
Don't mention it to your supervisor if it's just to get some reassurance and also take a backhanded dig at your employee.
If you DO have concerns like maybe the critique was accurate but you're just pissed about it right now, ask your boss if he/she thinks that this particular criticism rings true. In an ANONYMOUS way. i.e. don't out the employee in an ass backwards attempt to get a pat on the back.
I'm with everyone else - there's no way to bring it up without looking/seeming like a 7th grade girl who is pissed about being gossipped about. That said, I'd be totally hurt and spiral for a while, too. Vent to your partner or a friend who doesn't work there, and move on. After carefully considering whether your serious offense to the comment is because there is some truth to it. I mean, if she wrote "xyz has a huge ass" and you didn't have a huge ass, it wouldn't bother you....right? (like my analogy?! LOL).
I honestly just want the office dynamic to improve... I want them to be able to tell me if they're not getting what they need from me as their supervisor. This indicates to me that maybe they're not, which if that's their experience would be a fair criticism and something I'd try to work on. But generally insulting me gives me nothing to work with...and I feel like I would have to say something about this in order to find out what's really going on - but am also scared that everyone here is right and that would make it worse instead of better.
It takes a skilled facilitator to really work and will take time. But I've seen it have a big impact. Initially though, it's really hard to do so you have to be willing to stick with it.
Certainly by taking action it can be less direct--asking your team for feedback/opinions is always a good idea. If you feel morale may be lacking generally and this is a symptom, you definitely want to start havering engagement discussions. I'm reading a book now called "Love 'Em or Lose 'Em" which has a lot more practical advice than most books and you find helpful.
There is a purpose to calling out the disrespect--you show he whole team disrespect towards no one will be tolerated and they need to air grievances productively. You would also call them out when they do it to each other and never participate in gossip yourself.
You know, I work in a similiar team. 5 or so employees, one supervisor in our location. I have an entire list of things I don't like about my supervisor. But I can't ever tell her that because she will get defensive and turn everything around so it is my problem, not hers.
Maybe this is your opportunity for some self evaluation. What she wrote is her reality of the situation. I think the best solution is to examine how you handle that type of situation, and make changes that are necessary to boost the morale on your team.
I know that it stings when we get criticized, but I think that rather than throwing your employee under the bus with a higher up (and think about how professional that really sounds "my employee wrote mean things about me, is it really true?") This is your opportunity to prove that you are management quality by examining your actions and improving them for the betterment of your team.
It depends on where the trainer comes from, but not usually with this type. But even if we did, they'd be evaluating the outside trainer and not me. They actually just got a chance to evaluate me at my recent performance review, but it's optional and none of them chose to do it. That's technically anonymous, but we're small enough that I'm sure they don't really trust it.
EDIT: I feel like I should do a follow up post on effective ways to improve morale without spending money.
We do these too. Even though I hate my supervisors guts right now, there is no way that I am saying that on her review. Nope, no how.
Part of me understands where the employee is coming from with the critism I received from him or her. Some I dismiss, other I take to heart and change. I think you need to understand where this is coming from. Have you taken management courses?
You can ask if there is anything the employee needed from you to help him or her to do their job better, if you want feedback. Do it for all employees in a one on one review.
Post by GailGoldie on Sept 29, 2012 7:43:36 GMT -5
ditto everyone else who said to leave it alone - get over it- all bosses/managers get talked about.
And how would you explain snooping in her notes? even if it was just left out - still would seem odd you were reading her notes - which will make you look badly... and get talked about even more.
As far as "not tolerating disrespect" - if you say somethink like that people will just laugh behind your back that you are now some sort of dictator now.... seriously - just drop it.