would you ever give up a pet?

[emyinpink]

Please no flames :-(

We've had Zelda (cat) for 6 years now (DH got her in college), and Link (dog) for 3. Zelda was much happier as an only cat. Much more playful, etc. She's also much happier around the house when Link isn't there.

Both BIL and my sister have expressed interest in wanting a cat, and BIL loves Zelda (my sister doesn't move up here until summer, but she also loves her). DH is pushing really hard to give Zelda to BIL (or potentially my sister in the summer). I know she'd be well taken care of, in a good place, etc., with him or her. We'd be able to go visit, and she'd likely even be happier.

But it just feels so wrong . She's a member of the family, and even though she'd be going to family, it just doesn't feel quite right. But I do want her to be happier. I'm totally torn right now. :-( :-(

[georgeharrison]

I would not be able to, but I don't see anything wrong with the giving up that you mentioned. I am sure that you love your kitty, though, so I'm sure that she isn't UNhappy with you guys. I don't think either keeping her or, it almost seems like "gifting" her, sounds wrong or like a bad decision. Follow your heart.

We have a similar cat dynamic. We have a cat, Skittles, that we got when my old cat, Midge, was still alive. They would fight, but not constantly. When Midge died, Skittles became very vocal especially when we came home from work or after having been gone for a while. We figured that she was lonesome and got another cat, Billy Bones. Turns out that she was just super happy being the only kitty, and was just telling us about her day when she was being so vocal. Two years ago, Billy Bones became an indoor/outdoor cat and Skittles has been so much friendlier. I'm sure she would be much happier if she was an only kitty.

[Deleted]

Personally? No, never.

In this case, I would make adjustments to her environment so that shes happier with link around. I'd call a behaviorist or an expert to evaluate the situation if I felt like what I was doing what wasnt good enough. To me, it feels like she's getting the short end of the stick, especially since Zelda was there before link.

In your case, if you do have to give her up, this is probably the best case scenario for giving up a pet. This is a really tough situation. Good luck.

[emyinpink]

ya, I mean, we've had a behaviorist come in (which did make a difference), and it's not like she's poorly treated at all (she sleeps on my pillow every night). it's just hard knowing that she seems so much happier when she's on her own. and both BIL and my sister were wanting to get a cat....

[Deleted]

I could never do it but I understand there are circumstances where it is just better for the pet to be given a new home. My house was always the house that took in the rehomed animals. My grandparents gave nothing away when I was growing up. There was a reason my friends called my house a petting zoo.

[anonnani]

I think it depends on the situation. I used to think I never would but recently just gave up my cat of 12years. :-( our home was just no longer the home for an older cat.
I have a toddler that has done some of the meanest things I have ever seen to that cat and being pregnant I can only forsee another three more years of crazy things like that when the new one arrives and as a cat of that age, he just deserved a quieter household with no kids.
Me personally I looked at the cat like family and in the end the choice was just as simple as doing something for a family member's best interest. He didn't deserve to be mistreated even if the child is still learning right from wrong and didn't mean to hurt him and he didn't deserve to have to hide from the child all day so we chose giving him a new home where he could grow older more comfortably an not have to "watch out" for toddlers.

[InBetweenDays]

There are VERY few situations where I would give away one of our pets (as in serious human aggression issues that can not be solved with LOTS of behaviorists/training). I wouldn't flame you for your situation since it sounds like you have a loving person that you know that is looking for a pet. And I understand your concerns. Our cat is 12 years old. He was an only pet for a few years until we got our first dog, Tucker. Then we got our second dog, Hoss. Then we fostered other dogs. Then we had our daughter. Then we had our son.

But I have to wonder whether your cat would really be happier there with your BIL or sister. Cats are creatures of habit, and while Zelda may not seem as happy as she used to I would think the disruption of moving to a new home would be way more upsetting than her current situation. Our cat basically disappears during the day with the commotion of the kids, and comes up to be fed and cuddled around 9pm. I feel bad, but I know he is way happier than he would be if we gave him to a new, even quieter, home.

[emyinpink]

thank you so much everyone, you've really given me a lot to think about. and thanks for the no flames, I would never ever be the kind of person who just dumps a pet.

[Deleted]

This might be a reach, but have you seen that show my cat from hell? I've seen a few episodes where he helps the cAt feel more comfortable with other pets. Just a thought.

animal.discovery.com/the-spot/casting-couch/full-list/my-cat-from-hell.html

[tacocat]

Sept 30, 2012 22:41:57 GMT -5 @emyinpink said:

thank you so much everyone, you've really given me a lot to think about. and thanks for the no flames, I would never ever be the kind of person who just dumps a pet.

Hugs, sorry you feel like you are in this position and I hope you can keep her!

[maddysmum]

Nope, never.

But in reading your post, I thought of my parents. They are the place where cats go when irresponsible younger siblings get them without thinking about the commitment entailed. Their current cat loves it at their house in the summer and winters at my SIL's house. I don't know why, but it makes the crazy cat really happy. So, they have joint custody of the cat!

That actually sounds a lot like your situation.

[amandasw]

Yes, I would consider this.

I disagree with pp and I think in certain situations I wouldn't have a problem moving a pet to a new home. Sometimes it's necessary and IMO in the best interest of the pet and/or people depending on who wasn't doing well. In your situation, it's not like dropping it off at a shelter - you'd be moving it to a new and loving home. And while cats are creatures of habit, they aren't really THAT difficult. Yes, there is an adjustment period, but it's not impossible.

[carylee07]

So, I would say no, never also, however, had the previous owners not done this, H would have never ended up with Daisy, our Bassett.

The previous owners had a lot of property and let their dogs roam unleashed. However, Daisy had a tendency to roam and they didn't think it was fair to put her on a lead while all the other dogs roamed free. They told his sister, who worked at an animal hospital, and H jumped on it and got hooked up with Daisy. And they are a match made in heaven and Daisy is super loved and happy.

Not that your kitty is not super loved and not happy, but just sharing a story where letting go can end in a happy ending.

As someone else said- at least you would still have connections and could visit at any time. But I know that's easier said than done. Sorry you are going thru this.

[jennlin]

ditto pp's, especially uw and ibd.

i personally would not be able to, it's not fair to link since he was there first, and not necessarily would he be happier elsewhere. dogs usually have an easier time to adjust (not always, but usually true).

my story: tigger used to belong to my brother..but he was neglected and not very loved. long story short, i took tigger, and i consider him a "rescue". at first, my brother used to ask for pictures of him and whatnot, but it faded, and now my brother doesn't even care about visiting him anymore when he's in town (it's been about 4 years since i adopted tigger, my brother had him for about 5 years).

[fiddles]

Personally no. I could never give away a pet. They are our family members. E

Might I ask why you would be giving up the cat instead of the dog? If the cat was there first? I'm not trying to start anything. Just wondering.

Our cat is 9 years old. In Jan we brought in a new puppy. It was an adjustment period for her but she's perfectly fine. In fact, just last night she was laying on the bed sleeping with Wrigley.

[sarack]

aw, i wouldn't ever want to give a pet up and i'm not sure i could. i pay SOOO much for my dog (pet rent and everything... it's a fuckingjoke) but i just love my baby so much. my husabnd always says that if my dog acts funny when we have children he will have to go. i just can't imagine that but i am also not a mom.

i'm so sorry that you're in this position. i think if the cat would be well taken care of and maybe better in a different place, especially with some one you know, i think that's fine. i'm sorry you're having to deal with this! i know you'll make the right decision!

[karebear219]

I've shared my store about my miss behaving kitty. If I could find a good home for him I would give him away (he was good for a month no urinating outside the box again ). I refuse to turn him into a shelter though. I just can't deal with cat pee on the carpet and our kitchen counters with bkb around. It is really a health issue at this point. I love him to death and I really don't want to give him up, but I don't know what else to do.

I have a phone call into the vet for any more advice or things to try for him.

All I have to say is GL! Do what your heart tells you.

[Deleted]

I have only considered giving up an animal once (long story) and it was still a heart-crushing thing to even think about. (I ended up not doing it.) The only situation where I COULD give up an animal and not feel horrible would be in your situation...where the pet is going to a family member or super close friend who already adores the pet and I could visit.

With Zelda, are you sure that it's REALLY so much that she would be happier in a one pet household? She may seem a little happier when Link isn't there, but how much of that is just the dedicated attention shet gets at those times? Is it such a significant attitude change? Does Link tend to be gone at the same time of day, so maybe it could just be Zelda's current happy/frisky period. (I know Ivan has certain times of day when he's energetic, extra playful and "happy" seeming and its largely based on season, feeding and sleeping schedule.)

[fiddles]

One thing to think of...kitty may have gotten used to having the dog around. Even thought it might not seem like that to you. A couple weeks back I went down to San Diego and H put the dogs in the Pets Hotel because he had to work. It was just him home all day on Saturday and he said Lilly (our cat) was kind of out of it and that she kept going over to the dog's food bowls.