I deserve better.

[dakotadangerdog]

Quit worrying about other people. You should be your #1 priority! Hugs!

[blackkitty]

Giving is a good thing! But you have to balance being a giver and a taker

[heavenly]

ETA - ((HUGS))

I use to have a hard time with this too as I am a helper by nature too. I found a way to channel my giving side in a way without having to give up a part of me. I do this by doing some volunteer work like serving the homeless, painting the women's shelter and the like. I don't have to give my money, have control over how much time I spend and do this in a safe way (i.e. I am not comfortable helping random homeless on the street, I don't feel safe).

For friends and family, I learned that offering advice or references is a good way to help without giving my money and the etc. I get the same fulfillment without getting taken advantage of.

[heavenly]

Oct 2, 2012 14:18:16 GMT -5 mp said:

Oct 2, 2012 14:16:08 GMT -5 heavenly said:

I use to have a hard time with this too as I am a helper by nature too. I found a way to channel my giving side in a way without having to give up a part of me. I do this by doing some volunteer work like serving the homeless, painting the women's shelter and the like. I don't have to give my money, have control over how much time I spend and do this in a safe way (i.e. I am not comfortable helping random homeless on the street, I don't feel safe).

For friends and family, I learned that offering advice or references is a good way to help without giving my money and the etc. I get the same fulfillment without getting taken advantage of.

I think if I gave back in structured ways like volunteer work, I probably would feel the fulfillment without feeling like I need to do it in my relationships. It's a good idea. I do data analysis for work and get no fulfillment out of it like this, so when I get home I feel like all I do is give and care. Well - who is giving and caring about me? No one. All of my girlfriends live out of the state. I need to let people care about me, too. And I need to associate myself with people that will.

I do resonate with the job thing, I am an HR representative for over 5k employees and a lot of th calls and emails we recieve are not so nice.

I do find that I do make new friends who have similar needs through volunteer and they tend to check-up on me from time to time.

[chrissie3416]

mp---I am in the exact same boat. I give and give and give and then I get upset when I dont get the same back. I know EXACTLY how you feel...

[kc18]

My mom is like you - very much a giver. Always always always gives and makes sure the OTHER person is completely fulfilled without ever thinking about her own needs. She is the most generous person I know. And I've seen her get taken advantage of... many times.

That's probably why I'm the exact opposite. I overcompensate the other way on the giving tree and am probably terrified of getting taken advantage of, so I'm not a huge gifter / giver. I tend to ask "What am I getting out of this situation?" all too often, and I recognize it's something I need to work on. There needs to be a happy medium there somewhere.