How do you work with people who always say "no"?

[joenali]

I work with a team of three other teachers at my grade level. We are expected to collaborate, plan together, blah, blah, blah. I have always been what I have felt to be very flexible, listen to others, try new things that others are doing. I guess an overall team player. And yes even doing things that I may not fully agree with but we are team and that's what we need to do.

Anyway, there is one person who is the biggest naysayer ever. Everything we try to talk about it's "no". No, no, no, no, no. NOw, it's no skin off my back if she gets in trouble, that's her deal. But today we had a trainer come in and work with us all day. It was a great training, we learned a lot and have some better ideas on how to do things. I wanted to just raise my voice with this person today and just say "just fucking do it! It's your fucking job!" It really took some self-control not to eye-roll and really question her negativity.

How do you work with people like this, especially when you have to team with them?

[Susie]

I try to give people like that a choice between doing A and doing B, rather than so that "no" or "neither" isn't an option on the menu. I don't say "do you want/are you willing to do X?"

[Deleted]

Generally, if you say no to me you get a big "So what will you do instead?" or "How would you solve it?".

You're not allowed to say no unless you've got a better idea. And I will say that out loud, to anyone I have to work with.

[Deleted]

Is this person saying no to doing tasks, or no to ideas your team is collaborating on?

I run into the latter sometimes at work, and usually that's just a starting point for a better conversation. I try to validate their opinion and understand where they are coming from, and then if I still think my point/idea would work I can address their specific concerns that made them say no to begin with. Sometimes the answer is still no, and that's ok. I try to choose my battles, too, and not fight the no response unless it is something really important.

I have no idea what I'd say to someone who said no to doing a task! I hardly ever say no unfortunately.

[birdmom]

Oct 3, 2012 23:17:20 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

You're not allowed to say no unless you've got a better idea.

I like how you worded that!

[pugz]

is she just a lazy teacher that doesn't want to change her methods or have more work to do?

[joenali]

Oct 4, 2012 9:20:24 GMT -5 pugz said:

is she just a lazy teacher that doesn't want to change her methods or have more work to do?

I'm new to the building and have experience with curriculum that is new to many teachers. She is having a very difficult time dropping what she has done for 25 years. We aren't asking her to change everything, hell, I'm sure some of it's good, BUT what she is doing isn't best pracitce AND it makes us look disjointed as a team.We have been told to do it. I feel like I've helped her and given her ideas to change some things. But it's always no. Even the way the room is set up. She has her desks in rows and has no meeting space. Desks should be in clusters and there should be a meeting space. SOmething easy to do and should be seen in all primary classrooms.

[pugz]

uggh that is annoying, I figured it was probably an old school teacher.

is it an issue the principal is aware of? would having someone higher up the food chain talk to her help her be more of a team player?

[kellbell191]

Is she otherwise nice or is she on a power trip? If she's otherwise nice she might just be having a hard time with change, in which case I might try to subtly reach out to her and give her a chance to bounce things off of you. She might also just want a chance to be heard so asking her what she thinks would be better could help.

This is frustrating, especially in a teaching environment, I'm sorry : (

[agnes]

I know how frustrating this can get. At my old job, toothless coworker was a No-er. Manager would ask her to do something and she would flat out say no, then it got pawned off on someone else (including me). Thankfully, I no longer work there! At least I got some good references and a new job out of it. Eventually, it's going to bight her in the ass.