What social situations do you find the most awkwar

[dexteroni]

May 20, 2012 12:27:43 GMT -5 ladybrettashley said:

May 20, 2012 11:46:53 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I really can't think of any. However, I admit to being groomed to mingle at parties and social gatherings from a very young age. It 's second nature now.

I wish my parents would have done this...it probably would have helped me overcome my natural shy tendencies.

I think teaching social skills / confidence is as important as actual teaching educational material. These are the skills that help you get through life.

[heliocentric]

May 20, 2012 12:35:58 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

May 20, 2012 12:27:43 GMT -5 ladybrettashley said:

I wish my parents would have done this...it probably would have helped me overcome my natural shy tendencies.

I think teaching social skills / confidence is as important as actual teaching educational material. These are the skills that help you get through life.

I do think there is value in social skills since humans are social beings. However, I also think that we tend to focus too much one kind of social interaction in the US and it happens to the be extraverted kind. It's annoying and unfair. Why is small talk considered a great thing? Why is it rude if go about my business quietly without having to be interrupted by your innane chit chat about useless things? Why is being able to work a room better than having a meaningful conversation with one or two people? Neither is better than the other, but working a room is considered desirable.

If you can't tell, this is my pet peeve.

BTW...I highly recommend the book "Quiet." It debunks many of the assumed benefits of things like group work, brain storming, etc.

[315bride]

I dislike being somewhere where I don't know people but everyone else knows each other really well. I don't mind not knowing people when that seems to be the case for everyone, but when I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't get inside jokes, stories, etc. it can feel a bit awkward.

[sarack]

Meet and greets for networking is awkward for.me... generally I make it work.

[dexteroni]

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

Why is small talk considered a great thing?

It's not the greatest thing ever; it's just one of many social skills that (IMO) a well-rounded adult should have. No one is saying to do it all the time, but being able to do it when a situation calls for it will help you.

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

Why is it rude if go about my business quietly without having to be interrupted by your innane chit chat about useless things?

It's not necessarily rude. Part of adult social skill is knowing when and when not to engage. I can't think of a situation where inane chatter is ever appropriate.

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

Why is being able to work a room better than having a meaningful conversation with one or two people? Neither is better than the other, but working a room is considered desirable.

Again, just one of many aspects of social interaction. Working a room and being able to conduct a one-on-one conversation are both valuable skills.

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

If you can't tell, this is my pet peeve.

Yep. That is very clear.

[EmilieMadison]

Most awkward for me are social situations where I know most people, but they dont all know each other and form weird circles where they only interact with the people they already know. I hate having to either bounce from group to group, or try to get people to talk to other people. I dont want anyone to feel excluded.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2012 12:50:17 GMT -5 @315bride said:

I dislike being somewhere where I don't know people but everyone else knows each other really well. I don't mind not knowing people when that seems to be the case for everyone, but when I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't get inside jokes, stories, etc. it can feel a bit awkward.

After reading what everyone else had to say, I feel like this more acutely expresses what I was trying to say. The core group at the party is very close, either having grown up together, meeting up with each other for play dates with the kiddos, and/or working together. It was hard to strike up conversation for more than a few minutes before someone would excuse themselves to go talk to someone else.

[dexteroni]

May 20, 2012 14:17:45 GMT -5 @mrschicken said:

May 20, 2012 12:50:17 GMT -5 @315bride said:

I dislike being somewhere where I don't know people but everyone else knows each other really well. I don't mind not knowing people when that seems to be the case for everyone, but when I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't get inside jokes, stories, etc. it can feel a bit awkward.

After reading what everyone else had to say, I feel like this more acutely expresses what I was trying to say. The core group at the party is very close, either having grown up together, meeting up with each other for play dates with the kiddos, and/or working together. It was hard to strike up conversation for more than a few minutes before someone would excuse themselves to go talk to someone else.

Then they're being rude. If you've been invited someplace where everyone already knows each other, whoever invited you should act as a host and include you in conversations, explain in-jokes, etc. at least at first.

[MrsAxilla]

I feel awkward hosting at my own home. I recently invited a friend over for the first time and I didn't know what to do with her!

[psyck]

May 20, 2012 12:50:17 GMT -5 @315bride said:

I dislike being somewhere where I don't know people but everyone else knows each other really well. I don't mind not knowing people when that seems to be the case for everyone, but when I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't get inside jokes, stories, etc. it can feel a bit awkward.

For a long time, this is exactly how I felt among DH's high school friends. They'd sit around and talk only about people they went to high school with and inside jokes. Anytime I'd ask someone questions about work, hobbies, life, I'd get mono-syllabic answers, then they'd turn around and talk to someone else just fine. I'd put up with it long enough and said something to DH about it, he made a point to include me in conversations.

There's still a couple of his friends that I can't get to talk to me. So when we run into them at weddings, I'll be pleasant but after a couple of attempts to strike up conversations with them, I'm done trying. Luckily, we rarely see them.

[heliocentric]

May 20, 2012 13:39:59 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

Why is small talk considered a great thing?

It's not the greatest thing ever; it's just one of many social skills that (IMO) a well-rounded adult should have. No one is saying to do it all the time, but being able to do it when a situation calls for it will help you.

It's not necessarily rude. Part of adult social skill is knowing when and when not to engage. I can't think of a situation where inane chatter is ever appropriate.

Again, just one of many aspects of social interaction. Working a room and being able to conduct a one-on-one conversation are both valuable skills.

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

If you can't tell, this is my pet peeve.

Yep. That is very clear.

Just to be clear, I did say social skills are useful and I'm not advocating being rude or unfriendly. I chimed in because many posters seemed to feel like something was wrong with them because they felt awkward. The words shy and social anxiety were thrown around. Maybe they apply to those posters, I don't know. It seems like they are used too often to describe people who CAN be social when needed, but just don't find many social situations aligned with their preferred style of being social.

[315bride]

Yup, I totally get it. I recently went to a party with a GF and it was all her friends from the way back when. They spent a lot of time giggling and reminiscing over stories from the good ol' days. I felt totally left out of the conversation. Even my friend felt awkward, trying her best to fill me in on each situation or person. But it really was alienating and after a while we left.

Those are the only times I feel like a nobody. In most other situations, I can get along and make friends with just about anyone.

[Deleted]

The baby shower I went to today. Ugh. I only knew H and the parents-to-be. Most everyone there was family. They were nice enough, I just didn't feel like socializing with them. LOL

I told H that there will be booze and no men at my baby shower.

[MarmeeNoir]

May 20, 2012 15:21:47 GMT -5 @315bride said:

Yup, I totally get it. I recently went to a party with a GF and it was all her friends from the way back when. They spent a lot of time giggling and reminiscing over stories from the good ol' days. I felt totally left out of the conversation. Even my friend felt awkward, trying her best to fill me in on each situation or person. But it really was alienating and after a while we left.

Those are the only times I feel like a nobody. In most other situations, I can get along and make friends with just about anyone.

This is about the only time for me. I can socialize, but most of the I don't find people interesting enough to want to talk to. I hate small talk.

[juris11]

I used to be much more awkward with strangers than I am now. I guess I just kinda woke up one day and was like, screw it, I'm just gonna be myself and not give a damn. I still don't care for it though. I would rather just chat in a small group than a large one.

Also, there is nothing in this world I hate quite as much as icebreaker games. Nothing.

[onomatopoeia]

May 19, 2012 22:19:17 GMT -5 fuddyduddy said:

I used to be painfully shy, but I've grown out of it and most social situations don't bother me. I only feel awkward and self-conscious when a lot of attention is focused on me. I blush easily when that happens.

This is me. I've gotten much better at social situations, but I also tend to try to avoid direct attention. So I'll often say just enough to get the other person talking about themselves again. Sometimes I feel like it's all an act too..like I'm "on" for a party. Sometimes I enjoy the act, and sometimes I can't wait until I can get home and switch myself off.

I also agree 100% with this:

May 20, 2012 12:27:43 GMT -5 ladybrettashley said:

May 20, 2012 11:46:53 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I really can't think of any. However, I admit to being groomed to mingle at parties and social gatherings from a very young age. It 's second nature now.

I wish my parents would have done this...it probably would have helped me overcome my natural shy tendencies. I never went to daycare as a child, so when I first went to school, it was socially traumatizing for me. I distinctly remember being in preschool and just standing around by myself during play time because I was too shy to play with any of the other children. I did this every day. Teachers would ask me if I wanted to do various activities and I always said no because I was too scared to talk to anyone.

[phunluvin82]

I hate intros w/ people that I'm not sure whether I've met before...or who I think I've met, but can't remember their name/backstory. I will inevitably say, "Nice to meet you"...just as the other person is saying, "Nice to see you again" or vice versa.

[rex]

May 20, 2012 12:44:14 GMT -5 heliocentric said:

May 20, 2012 12:35:58 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

I think teaching social skills / confidence is as important as actual teaching educational material. These are the skills that help you get through life.

I do think there is value in social skills since humans are social beings. However, I also think that we tend to focus too much one kind of social interaction in the US and it happens to the be extraverted kind. It's annoying and unfair. Why is small talk considered a great thing? Why is it rude if go about my business quietly without having to be interrupted by your innane chit chat about useless things? Why is being able to work a room better than having a meaningful conversation with one or two people? Neither is better than the other, but working a room is considered desirable.

If you can't tell, this is my pet peeve.

BTW...I highly recommend the book "Quiet." It debunks many of the assumed benefits of things like group work, brain storming, etc.

This is my pet peeve too!

Just because I don't like parties doesn't mean I'm lacking social skills.

Do I go to parties? Yes. Do I talk to every single person there and try to say hello to everyone? No. It makes me uncomfortable. I talk to one person at a time and generally stick with people I am comfortable with. I am not rude to people at all. If someone talks to me, I engage in conversation.

It's ridiculous to think that everyone should be extroverted and enjoy small talk.

If my parents had forced me to like parties, it wouldn't have gone over well. Some kids don't like parties and/or are introverted and/or shy, oh well.

[PinkSquirrel]

If I know at least a few people I'm as outgoing as they come. If I don't know people I get shy and awkward.