WR: Did you have a dance?

[Deleted]

Did you have a dance at your wedding reception?

SO and I are not dancers and I'm not really into the whole DJ thing. Do you think a reception without dancing would be horribly boring? The venue is outdoors and there will be a bonfire and lawn games. We'd have music of some sort playing during the reception.

Any suggestions for dancephobic people?

[futurepivko]

Yeah we did...I don't know if it would be boring, but unless it was a day wedding I may find it a little off.

Keep the music simple...chicken dance, cha cha slide...dances people know or they say the words too. My H was nervous about the first dance so we actually took some dance lessons.

It's sounds generic, but it is your wedding and you don't have to have a dj if you don't want to.

[pugz]

we did not, just couple and father/daughter, mother/son dances. Our venue was small.

receptions w/o dancing are typically much shorter than your typical reception

[amity]

I am guessing you live somewhere in the midwest, because I had never heard of a wedding reception being called "a dance" until I moved to Nebraska. I have no idea why this amuses me so much, but it does. I just got invited to a wedding in North Dakota that is a ceremony followed by "dinner and a social." So cute, although as a guest, I have no idea what the hell this means.

But, anyway, I think if you do not have dancing at your reception, you need to have things for your guests to do. Or else people will be just sitting around staring at each other for a long time.

Do you plan to do a first dance? Or any other traditional dances. Guests will follow your lead.

Also, if there is alcohol and music at the party, you may have dancing whether you like it or not

[h]

I would find an evening reception without dancing odd. A day time reception without dancing seems fine to me.

[Deleted]

What are people's thoughts on iPod vs DJ? Are there DJ's that aren't super hokey?

I feel like I am a wedding idiot.

[BNL2]

I like to dance so I would be disappointed to go to a wedding reception without dancing. I'd probably leave earlier than planned, but I would never complain to the bride and groom.

[SJ]

May 20, 2012 20:21:16 GMT -5 h said:

I would find an evening reception without dancing odd. A day time reception without dancing seems fine to me.

I agree

[rex]

I've been to 2 receptions without dancing and I was bored.

But I love dancing.

It's your wedding, if you hate dancing then don't have it.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2012 20:08:08 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

Did you have a dance at your wedding reception?

SO and I are not dancers and I'm not really into the whole DJ thing. Do you think a reception without dancing would be horribly boring? The venue is outdoors and there will be a bonfire and lawn games. We'd have music of some sort playing during the reception.

Any suggestions for dancephobic people?

We did not have dancing, had a bag tournament, bonfire, pig roast and bartender. MANY of our guests said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to. Screw convention, be yourself and be happy.

[futurepivko]

May 20, 2012 20:23:13 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

What are people's thoughts on iPod vs DJ? Are there DJ's that aren't super hokey?

I feel like I am a wedding idiot.

I'm meh on the ipod idea. For me, it wouldn't been too much stress. I also think it takes away the wedding party intros, etc.

[mbcdefg]

I don't really dance at weddings. MH refuses to dance other than slow songs.

We had a DJ at our wedding and a bunch of people danced all might. It was a good mix of our friends and our parents' friends. Nobody cared that MH and I weren't dancing ... we were mostly talking to people.

Our friends had their reception was at a restaurant and they had an iPod hooked up to the restaurant's speaker system. The only dancing was the couple's first dance. The wedding was super fun.

ETA: we didn't do bridal party intros or even an intro for the two of us, and it was fine.

[gt7301b]

It is your wedding - do what you want, just know folks probably won't stay that long if there isn't dancing. The only wedding I have been to without dancing was an afternoon wedding with a very simple lunch. It was also my birthday - so I didn't stay long.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2012 20:23:13 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

What are people's thoughts on iPod vs DJ? Are there DJ's that aren't super hokey?

I feel like I am a wedding idiot.

We did this too. And, we had the best.wedding.ever.
:Y:

[annika]

We didn't, but we also had a very small wedding. With 30 guests I didn't think the dance floor would be full so I didn't think twice about skipping it.

[Chrysanthemum]

We didn't have any dancing at our wedding for the same reasons you mention. We attempted to have an iPod playing for background music, but ended up having equipment malfunctions. Our wedding was outside in the evening with lots of mingling. We only had 75 guests, mostly from out of state. My family thought we were crazy to have no dancing and were very skeptical, but everyone agreed it was a non-issue after it was said and done. Our wedding reception did end on the early side, but it needed to due to city restrictions. We had an after party at a bar/lounge that most people went to. Anyways, my point is that you can have a wonderful wedding without dancing.

[Roc A Bee]

I had an iPod reception but my reception was in a suite in Vegas. I still needed someone to do intros and get things going like cutting the cake. If I had a more traditional venue, I would have a dj

[Deleted]

I am amazed at all the leave early people. We had guests well past 2 am, no mas exodus.

[Deleted]

If you don't specifically want dancing, how about a live band--like a jazz trio or similar? Less work than an iPod (I would not want to make a playlist for the whole reception), but no one feels like they have to dance.

We had a 13 piece big band and it was awesome. Some people danced, some just enjoyed the music.

If there's a music school near you, call them about student groups. Usually pretty affordable and if they school's good, the musicians will be too.

[Deleted]

You should do whatever you want to do but yes, some guests may find no dancing odd. What you are describing (bonfire, lawn games) sounds like a summer BBQ to me. If that's how you want to celebrate your marriage, then that's how you should do it.

I think statements such as we did xyz and people said they loved it are an unfair gauge. No one will ever tell a bride, "Holy hell your reception sucked." As I was walking out of a dry reception that had no music and not enough food I told the bride, "Congratulations. It was perfect." That said, I'm not much of a dancer and lawn games and S'mores sound way more fun to me!

[amity]

May 20, 2012 20:38:34 GMT -5 @envinoveritas said:

I am amazed at all the leave early people. We had guests well past 2 am, no mas exodus.

I think that the key is that you had things going on to occupy your guests. I would be completely fine with a wedding with no dancing as long as it was a fun atmosphere with things to keep people entertained. Your wedding sounded fabulous.

[fashionx]

I've never been to a wedding without dancing, but I guess if it were during the day it'd be fine. I'd still have music, so definitely do the iPod thing if you're not getting a DJ. And yes there are plenty of DJs who aren't "hokey".

FWIW, I like dancing but DH does not. We still did the usual first dance, and mother-son, father-daughter dances. DH can handle the "sway and slowly turn" style of dance, so that's what we did. My dance with my dad was much more lively since my dad actually knows how to dance. It was still fun though. I spent most of the evening on the dance floor with guests and H came out a couple more times for slow songs but otherwise he drank and talked to guests who weren't dancers, so it worked out just fine.

[missmis99]

I went to an afternoon party with no booze and no music except for an iPod for their first dance and father/daughter. I couldn't wait to leave. However, it was in a reception hall and there was nothing else to do. I think that as long as you give your guests something else to do then it should be fine. It's you day..rock it!

[heygrey]

we didn't dance and our reception was super short. like under 90 minutes. it was a casual drinks and dessert affair - brother who married us did the party entrance announcements, we came in and cut the cake, cake/desserts were served immediately, then speeches by the moh/bm and our parents, we thanked everyone publicly, then walked around to thank our guests in person and people started leaving. music playing in the background via ipod throughout.

everyone knew it was going to be short though. we indicated it on the invitations and had talked to most of our guests beforehand so no one was surprised. it was an afternoon wedding - 2pm ceremony with reception starting at 2:30.

after the reception we had a bbq casual dinner with immediate family and super close friends. had the whole day not been a political game of not pissing off people who expected to be invited, we would have gone straight for the bbq with the ~40 people we really wanted to celebrate with us.

[badtzmaru22]

Our families are Czech, Polish and German, so heck yes there's dancing, because wth else are you going to do after all that drinking? POLKA!!

I think you have to do whatever fits you and your crowd though, and if there are lawn games or other activities, that's cool too. I've been to some very religious weddings, and they had a fancy hall and everything, but no dancing, AND no other activity, so everyone just kind of looked at each other and then left early because it was awkward and people weren't even mingling or anything.

[flygirl22]

We had a dance but I like yard games and bonfires too! I think if you are having those 2 things a dance would feel out of place..

[Deleted]

Not sure if this makes a difference, but the wedding is going to be under 75 guests with no wedding party (we may do one bridesmaid/groomsmen).

I like the idea of a jazz band- especially since SO loves jazz.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. If I start to get annoying with all the wedding questions just tell me to shut up.

[Deleted]

yes, we had a live 12 piece band.

Would a wedding without dancing be boring? Depends on the guests. Some weddings I dont dance at all- just shmooze and drink with my friends.

now, if you dont have booze, it will be boring.

[amity]

May 20, 2012 22:15:57 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

now, if you dont have booze, it will be boring.

:Y:

[lolo]

There was no dancing at our actual reception, whether from us or our guests. We had a day wedding--ceremony at 11, tapas at 12, then lunch, with some traditional elements and many traditional elements happily missing.

We also hosted an after party that evening, which did involve dancing from some of our guests. Thankfully we did not feel obligated to participate, and they got their dancing fix.

So yes, it can be done. Do what you want and don't worry about what others think.