What bugs you about Military Life?

[crimewatcher]

This can also be a confessions and may or may not get juicy ....


It bugs me so much to be referred to as "just a dependent." Some people I know don't mean anything by it but it still feels like a big ohh "fuck you" to me most of the time.

[amaristella]

Lately it's been the idea of having to part ways with all my friends that I've made the past couple years. I know, I know, I can always keep in touch but honestly. It's just not the same when they're far away, or I'm far away from them.

Not saying that I suddenly hate moving or lost my sense of adventure. Just feeling pouty.

[pennylane]

I sometimes hate the amount of "mandatory fun" our squadron makes us attend. It's something every week. Luckily I like a lot of people so its a chance to hang out- but still.

[starfish19]

The hurry up and wait. My H was told he had orders coming to him over a month and a half ago; they basically forced him to decide about reenlistment much sooner than he would have because they needed to rush him to his next station if he was reenlisting. He hasn't heard anything and I'm annoyed because I was hoping to move before January.

[basilosaurus]

Just the term dependent. And that our xmas party costs something like $70pp and last year was way the hell out of the way.

I'll be nice and stop there

[brandienee]

My biggest one is moving... I hate it. Every time I think about having to leave the East Coast I die a little more inside. But then again, I wouldn't be living on the East Coast if it wasn't for the Military, so it's a double edged sword.

[ggirl]

Oct 11, 2012 19:02:54 GMT -5 Stan said:

That spouses are expected to always be available when service members get stuck on other things. That our jobs don't count. If we had kids, no one would be available to get them some days, kwim?

Oh this so much this! Also the short notice for some things. When H left for training in Cali last month we knew the day for a few weeks but we found out the time he was leaving two days before. I work a full time job and had clients scheduled. It's a PITA to change all that quickly. I know it's part of being military and blah blah but it sucks. I know I could have not gone and he wouldn't have cared but I didn't want to do that.

Also the word dependent haha. Please, I'm not dependent on him for anything. I use tricare because its cheaper than what the state plan offers me.

[iluvmytxrgr]

Oct 11, 2012 16:27:03 GMT -5 @ojo said:

Lately, it's the amount of babysitting expected of NCOs.

Let me tell you about my E-6 husband having to babysit the new Capt. Holy crap! The Company Commander literally told him to not let him out of his site.

[audette]

Oct 12, 2012 9:38:14 GMT -5 ggirl said:

Oct 11, 2012 19:02:54 GMT -5 Stan said:

That spouses are expected to always be available when service members get stuck on other things. That our jobs don't count. If we had kids, no one would be available to get them some days, kwim?

Oh this so much this! Also the short notice for some things. When H left for training in Cali last month we knew the day for a few weeks but we found out the time he was leaving two days before. I work a full time job and had clients scheduled. It's a PITA to change all that quickly. I know it's part of being military and blah blah but it sucks. I know I could have not gone and he wouldn't have cared but I didn't want to do that.

Also the word dependent haha. Please, I'm not dependent on him for anything. I use tricare because its cheaper than what the state plan offers me.

Agreed. The all around expectations of the spouses. I hit 34 at the end of the month, and while we want to have kids, we have no freaking clue how the heck we'd manage to have proper care for them between our jobs. I travel, and am on a relatively decently predictable schedule (as in, I usually have dates/trips planned out at least a month or two out). But, DH has all kinds of crap just kinda "come up" with no warning. Or social events that he gets crap for going to alone because I'm halfway around the world. Or the general expectation that I can take care of all the stupid errands that need doing during business hours.

If I was military myself, they'd be more forgiving of this stuff, but seeing as I am employed in the civilian sector, they're not.

It's also really frustrating to see the giant talent pool known as military spouses that is so frequently un/underemployed because of the tag-along effect of being a military spouse. At least when you are a trailing spouse for someone in the civilian sector, the moves can have a measure of timing and location selection you don't get with the military, so we could stick to regions that have reciprocity with licensing requirements, or that have local industry that would be interested in my background... I actually mentioned this at a work function just last night - I know a _crazy_ number of military spouses that are un/underemployed, and it's a massive segment that could do awesome things if the right HR person caught on and figured out how to leverage it...

[meltoine]

Tritto the assumption that spouses will always be able to pick up the slack. Just last night H and I we're talking about this. There is a midwifery conference I want to go to in the spring and I have to pay the deposit to reserve my spot now. I'm waffling because I just know that that will be the week they send him on a cross-country with 12 hours notice. I can't get it up to plan on leaving my kid here without a more solid plan.

[booyah]

I get sick of whiny spouses. Just in the past week I had one spouse whine that she couldn't get out to the secure flightline to meet the medevac plane that had her uncle on it, even though her presence would interfere with the medics doing their job, another spouse whining about the privatized housing going to metering utilities (required by Congress), and another whining that housing wouldn't clean her air ducts in her 2 year old house, even though the EPA recommends against it. Unfortunately these sorts of spouses are the most vocal and give the normal ones a bad name. They have no understanding that the military has an actual real mission and it doesn't just exist to give them free healthcare and a nice place to live.
Oh, and it annoys the shit out of me when Air Force civilian employees think they are entitled to be called Airmen and get more awards than active duty military people. Go to basic training or OTS, deploy, get orders to places you don't want to go, work whatever shift you are assigned without your union-mandated breaks and quitting time, be subject to the UCMJ, put up with all the other stuff, and then we'll talk.

[audette]

Yeah - the direct sales folks have figured out military spouses are a good resource.

But think of what a company like Dell or Emerson or other national/international manufacturer could do if they decided to pick a half dozen or a dozen bases and open customer care centers near them - call centers, customer reps, sales teams, etc, all in one package. If they picked enough bases, folks could transfer internally when their spouses got PCS orders so they wouldn't lose the investment in the workforce, it would be a geographically diverse set of centers, and the PR for it could do awesome things.

[audette]

Oct 12, 2012 17:43:17 GMT -5 @ojo said:

Oct 12, 2012 17:40:17 GMT -5 audette said:

Yeah - the direct sales folks have figured out military spouses are a good resource.

But think of what a company like Dell or Emerson or other national/international manufacturer could do if they decided to pick a half dozen or a dozen bases and open customer care centers near them - call centers, customer reps, sales teams, etc, all in one package. If they picked enough bases, folks could transfer internally when their spouses got PCS orders so they wouldn't lose the investment in the workforce, it would be a geographically diverse set of centers, and the PR for it could do awesome things.

Near the joint bases! Huge populations and multi-service.

Yeah! And maybe the larger installations. ie: Fort Bragg - it's not technically a joint base, but it is pretty darn big...

And places like medical technology companies would also be a good one for this - local reps in each area, dispersion across a wider market, etc. The question is - how to convince a company's executives of the intelligence of such a plan?

[crimewatcher]

Oct 12, 2012 17:39:49 GMT -5 @booyah said:

I get sick of whiny spouses. Just in the past week I had one spouse whine that she couldn't get out to the secure flightline to meet the medevac plane that had her uncle on it, even though her presence would interfere with the medics doing their job, another spouse whining about the privatized housing going to metering utilities (required by Congress), and another whining that housing wouldn't clean her air ducts in her 2 year old house, even though the EPA recommends against it. Unfortunately these sorts of spouses are the most vocal and give the normal ones a bad name. They have no understanding that the military has an actual real mission and it doesn't just exist to give them free healthcare and a nice place to live.
Oh, and it annoys the shit out of me when Air Force civilian employees think they are entitled to be called Airmen and get more awards than active duty military people. Go to basic training or OTS, deploy, get orders to places you don't want to go, work whatever shift you are assigned without your union-mandated breaks and quitting time, be subject to the UCMJ, put up with all the other stuff, and then we'll talk.

Oh man a couple weeks ago I had my fill of them too. We had an airshow a few weeks back-- as a Thank you to the military families they had a preshow for just military family members that had the Thunderbirds and Golden eagles (Army dudes that parachute) had a shit ton of free local/chain food (ie Chick-Fil-a; BWW etc.); bouncing houses for kids, a kid concert and country concert. And ppl had the nerve to BITCH they didn't do the entire air show and what a rip. FFS you got to meet and greet the Thunderbird Pilots STFU already. The entitlement of some people drive me up the wall.

[booyah]

Oct 12, 2012 20:51:42 GMT -5 crimewatcher said:

Oct 12, 2012 17:39:49 GMT -5 @booyah said:

I get sick of whiny spouses. Just in the past week I had one spouse whine that she couldn't get out to the secure flightline to meet the medevac plane that had her uncle on it, even though her presence would interfere with the medics doing their job, another spouse whining about the privatized housing going to metering utilities (required by Congress), and another whining that housing wouldn't clean her air ducts in her 2 year old house, even though the EPA recommends against it. Unfortunately these sorts of spouses are the most vocal and give the normal ones a bad name. They have no understanding that the military has an actual real mission and it doesn't just exist to give them free healthcare and a nice place to live.
Oh, and it annoys the shit out of me when Air Force civilian employees think they are entitled to be called Airmen and get more awards than active duty military people. Go to basic training or OTS, deploy, get orders to places you don't want to go, work whatever shift you are assigned without your union-mandated breaks and quitting time, be subject to the UCMJ, put up with all the other stuff, and then we'll talk.

Oh man a couple weeks ago I had my fill of them too. We had an airshow a few weeks back-- as a Thank you to the military families they had a preshow for just military family members that had the Thunderbirds and Golden eagles (Army dudes that parachute) had a shit ton of free local/chain food (ie Chick-Fil-a; BWW etc.); bouncing houses for kids, a kid concert and country concert. And ppl had the nerve to BITCH they didn't do the entire air show and what a rip. FFS you got to meet and greet the Thunderbird Pilots STFU already. The entitlement of some people drive me up the wall.

Yep, exactly. The biggest complaints I hear around this base is the base bowling alley and theater closed, they are downsizing the library, they are making the airshow every other year instead of every year, one of the 14 playgrounds on base has a broken swing, etc. C'mon. Have you looked at the federal budget lately? These things have no part of the military's mission, and we live in Wash D.C., it's not like you can't find a bowling alley and theater 2 blocks away off base.

[meltoine]

Oct 13, 2012 7:29:30 GMT -5 @booyah said:

Oct 12, 2012 20:51:42 GMT -5 crimewatcher said:

Oh man a couple weeks ago I had my fill of them too. We had an airshow a few weeks back-- as a Thank you to the military families they had a preshow for just military family members that had the Thunderbirds and Golden eagles (Army dudes that parachute) had a shit ton of free local/chain food (ie Chick-Fil-a; BWW etc.); bouncing houses for kids, a kid concert and country concert. And ppl had the nerve to BITCH they didn't do the entire air show and what a rip. FFS you got to meet and greet the Thunderbird Pilots STFU already. The entitlement of some people drive me up the wall.

Yep, exactly. The biggest complaints I hear around this base is the base bowling alley and theater closed, they are downsizing the library, they are making the airshow every other year instead of every year, one of the 14 playgrounds on base has a broken swing, etc. C'mon. Have you looked at the federal budget lately? These things have no part of the military's mission, and we live in Wash D.C., it's not like you can't find a bowling alley and theater 2 blocks away off base.

I completely agree with you. But a fun fact about DC - there are only two bowling alleys in the district - one in the white house and one at GW that is for students only.

[booyah]

Oct 13, 2012 8:56:16 GMT -5 meltoine said:

Oct 13, 2012 7:29:30 GMT -5 @booyah said:

Yep, exactly. The biggest complaints I hear around this base is the base bowling alley and theater closed, they are downsizing the library, they are making the airshow every other year instead of every year, one of the 14 playgrounds on base has a broken swing, etc. C'mon. Have you looked at the federal budget lately? These things have no part of the military's mission, and we live in Wash D.C., it's not like you can't find a bowling alley and theater 2 blocks away off base.

I completely agree with you. But a fun fact about DC - there are only two bowling alleys in the district - one in the white house and one at GW that is for students only.

That is interesting, I think I read someplace that there aren't any Walmarts here either. Luckily, Maryland and Virginia are both within about 2 blocks, haha, so PLENTY of theaters, bowling alleys, and walmarts. :-)

[bigmamma]

the shit people should know already... like no, you are not guaranteed to have your husband home for delivery if your baby is due during deployment.

no, dumbass homecoming dates are NOT concrete.

stuff like that.

[abbeywithaneee]

Thankfully, nothing yet! Of course I'm SUPER new to being a military spouse, so I'm sure I'll have a list of peeves eventually.

[misshark122]

I love moving around and stuff but if I had to pick I'd say "hurry up and wait!"

[coffeeandbooks]

Haha, I just saw the last one. "Hurry up and wait!" I can already tell I agree with that one.

[Deleted]

That the commissary is closed on Mondays. I've been military in one form or another since preschool and I still forget it isn't open then.

And honestly, I'm not a fan of the majority of military spouses. Man, they are weird, especially once they have kids and particularly the junior enlisted ones.

[abbeywithaneee]

Oct 22, 2012 21:30:41 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

And honestly, I'm not a fan of the majority of military spouses. Man, they are weird, especially once they have kids and particularly the junior enlisted ones.

What does junior enlisted mean? (Total noob to military life here haha)

[kpol]

I hate that we are forced to live on-post and in a neighborhood we would never choose.

Disclaimer: We're in Korea and Command Sponsored families at this post are required to live in on post unless housing is full (almost never) or have successfully been granted an exception to policy (almost never, again). I hate it!

[audette]

Oct 22, 2012 23:17:47 GMT -5 kpol said:

I hate that we are forced to live on-post and in a neighborhood we would never choose.

Disclaimer: We're in Korea and Command Sponsored families at this post are required to live in on post unless housing is full (almost never) or have successfully been granted an exception to policy (almost never, again). I hate it!

Threadjack - you're in Korea? How are you finding it? (other than hating your neighbourhood). DH has orders, and my command sponsorship packet is over there for review right now. He's being sent somewhere with no on-base family housing, though, so we'll be renting off base.

[kpol]

Oct 22, 2012 23:38:09 GMT -5 audette said:

Oct 22, 2012 23:17:47 GMT -5 kpol said:

I hate that we are forced to live on-post and in a neighborhood we would never choose.

Disclaimer: We're in Korea and Command Sponsored families at this post are required to live in on post unless housing is full (almost never) or have successfully been granted an exception to policy (almost never, again). I hate it!

Threadjack - you're in Korea? How are you finding it? (other than hating your neighbourhood). DH has orders, and my command sponsorship packet is over there for review right now. He's being sent somewhere with no on-base family housing, though, so we'll be renting off base.

It's an adjustment, but we're starting to settle in. We actually just AIP'ed since MH will be taking command in the Spring and we'll have to stay anyway. Might as well take that extra money!

The subway system is great and we're planning on doing a lot of traveling. We've been to Hong Kong so far and are going to Thailand in December. We've found the Korean people to be very friendly, also.

[audette]

Thanks for the reply! We're looking forward to it, assuming I'm approved to go. And, DH is thinking about extending past the 2 years, if we get there and decide we like it. Might line up well with when his next school should happen, too.

Did you process your visa after arriving? We've been told this is possible (and relatively normal), but it just feels so wacky to me. Every visa I've ever had before I had to apply for _before_ entering the country in question... How long did it take?

[basilosaurus]

habs, the commissary used to be closed on Sunday (at least it was that way when we first got to Japan), so I think Monday is an improvement. Although, when they made the switch, they shortened Sunday hours, so it's actually open less than it used to, but at least people finally get to shop on 2 weekend days.

[beans]

I've never been at a base where the commissary was closed on any certain day (outside holidays)

[basilosaurus]

Beans, in Korea, not only was the commissary closed on Monday, if it was an exercise week (which happened a lot, easily once a month), it and everything else was entirely shut down. A full fucking week, where no one could leave base (except the contractors and like 4 of us spouses). The weekend before an exercise was like black friday kind of madness.

In fairness, only SNCOs and officers had cooking facilities, but everyone still wanted to stock up on microwave meals and snacks and drinks to get them through the week.