Ugh, I feel like I am stuck in life

[Deleted]

I feel like I am stuck in life and I am just watching my life go by. It's depressing. I've been feeling like this for a while, I would say over a year.

I hate living with roommates because I don't feel like it's my home. I like my freedom way too much. I would also never have a guy to spend the night here so I need to get the fuck out.

I can't stand this town. There is nothing for me here. Nothing. And the reason I live here is 100% because of my ex-marriage. I need to get the fuck outta here and start fresh somewhere else.

I hate that I've wasted the last 4.5 years of my life on a shitty job. I basically committed career suicide and I feel like at 30 years old, this will follow me everwyhere and I'll never get a decent job. Speaking of jobs, still nothing from the interview. It's been more than a month now and it's starting to really piss me off. I did pass the 1st round so right now I am just waiting for an offer or a sorry, good luck!

I also feel very lonely. I hate it.

I am affraid I may be medically depressed already because of all that. I stopped seeing my psychologist because it was $76 OOP after insurance for every session. Too expensive for my budget.

Anyway, I just needed to let this out. If you've been there, I'll gladly accept suggestions, succes stories, advice...

[starryfish]

I dont know what industry you are in, but can you apply for government jobs? Are you interested in moving ANYwhere? If so, I would just start applying everywhere and then seeing what happens.

hugs!

[BlueBayou]

Im with Starry, branch out and get out of that town and something new!

[charitylynne79]

I defintely know what you mean. I am stuck in the same spot as you. Right now I need to have a roommate because I financially messed up my life for a few years. But I feel the same as you. I am sick of where I live. I don't want to be in Michigan I don't think. I don't know how much it's going to be to see my physiatrist for a med review because those always used to be free for me under my old insurance company. My meds are getting expensive because I am now on BCBS and they seem to suck I think. I would check to see if there is some sort of fund or sliding scale that you could do to continue to see yours. KWIM? Hmm I guess that's all to say for now.

[Deleted]

I can see how that would be frustrating. I think when you have a crappy job you have to make a real effort to pursue your passions outside of work.

What are things that make you happy? For me it was getting back to my hobbies of sewing and cooking and running. Life is going to keep on moving no matter what and who wants to look back and think about "wasted years."

Also professionally I created a plan and focused on that. It included a lot of extra curricular type work, joining professional orgs, volunteering with them, networking, keeping my linkedin updated and making connections. I also started a professional blog.

[bullygirl979]

Agree with PP. LoB if you don't have any reasons to stay in your current city, why not start applying for jobs in other cities that interest you? And, get back into hobbies that interest you.

[Deleted]

Also, and this sounds sort of corny, but for a while I just started saying yes to everything people asked me to do. Even if didn't sound fun or I was too tired or whatever. I ended up having some really great experiences and it pushed me outside of my comfort zone. Yes I realize this was also the plot of a Jim Carey movie.

[heavenly]

Baby steps! Maybe set aside some time (i.e. 15 minutes to an hour) every day to plan or job hunt for something new or look at different living situations opportunities. I find that starting small instilled a lot of hopes for me and then one thing lead to another.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2012 15:52:27 GMT -5 heavenly said:

Baby steps! Maybe set aside some time (i.e. 15 minutes to an hour) every day to plan or job hunt for something new or look at different living situations opportunities. I find that starting small instilled a lot of hopes for me and then one thing lead to another.

This is very good advice. Don't feel like you need to tackle it all at once. That will seem overwhelming.

[Deleted]

I want to get out of this town, there's no doubt about it. I have the motivation yet I feel unable to do anything. I do see people and do things outside but I still feel lonely. Like after a night out, I go back home to no one.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2012 16:01:05 GMT -5 @landobiscuit said:

Like after a night out, I go back home to no one.

I think it's important to get to the point where you realize being alone doesn't mean being lonely. If you've gone out and had a great time with your friends, why does it matter if no one is home?

Do you enjoy spending time just with yourself?

[redredwine]

Oct 12, 2012 16:01:05 GMT -5 @landobiscuit said:

I want to get out of this town, there's no doubt about it. I have the motivation yet I feel unable to do anything. I do see people and do things outside but I still feel lonely. Like after a night out, I go back home to no one.

Thats why I have a dog.

PDX had great advice though, seriously. (per the usual!)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

[Deleted]

Actually, I don't mind being alone. I am very independant and that is one of the perks of being divorced to me. I've been separated for almost 1.5 years and I am just starting to get warm about maybe having a BF. But I still feel so lonely. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe being alone at home = being back in my depressing rut and thoughts.

I really feel like getting my own place in a new town with a new job would do wonders. I just wish I would hear from this job soon.

[Deleted]

I can understand where you are coming from. When you're in a bad town or job it can make things just the worst. Do you think you might have situational depression? That's what I had and I had to stick with the job that was causing it for an additional year. I really found making a point to have something fun to do after work each day REALLY helped. It also helped me from feeling lonely because I wasn't just going home and sitting there.

It doesn't have to be huge plans or anything. It can be simple stuff like, make popcorn and watch favorite movie, take a bubble bath, do a new workout, bake brownies. I found this helped A LOT!

[Deleted]

Thanks Pdx, I do treat mysefl to something nice everyday. But the effects are only short term unfortunately. Honestly, I don't know what else to do. I am so not where I want to be in life and it's depressing me. Right now I am going to focus on getting out of there (aka this town).

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2012 18:35:23 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

LOB - you are where I was before I decided to move entirely to the city. Best decision that I ever made. I was so bored, wasn't meeting anyone and felt my career was stunted from staying in my home state. Moving was the most liberating that I ever did for myself. I honestly feel as though I started my life when I moved here. I found a better job opportunity with an amazing company, started making new friends, picked up new hobbies, etc... Back home, I was sitting home every.single.night if I wasn't at the gym. It was depressing.

Is this something that you can do? I started looking for jobs online and contacted the recruiters listing them. I found an amazing job which I loved for many, many years and moved up in. I never had those opportunities back home.

Anyways, I know where you are. I remember it well. I'm home tonight but due to choice. Well, I canceled plans because of my sitch at home. Big hugs to ya. I'm not sure what you do for work but I can tell you that the jobs are better near the cities, just saying.

Oh, I just saw your age. I moved at 30! ;D

Ok this is reassuring because this is exactly what it is like for me. If I don't go to the gym, I don't get out of the house. I do see friends at least once a week even though this week nothing is planned. I know I need to get out and can't wait for it to happen. I knew there was nothing for me here when I moved 4.5 years ago. I had such an active life, I was never home and always with my friends. Then I moved here for XH and this was the end of my fabulous life. I can't wait to gain it back! I'll PM you with questions.

[leahmel]

Try to see this from a different perspective. You have complete freedom to start over and do anything you want, basically. Hating all these circumstances gives you even less to tie you to where you are. Do your thing, look for new places to move, new job, and then new activities and new friends. Start with looking at jobs in a town that interests you and go from there. Think of this as a world of opportunity to do whatever you want rather than being stuck. Most important thing is to just start dreaming up what you want and focusing on that. Try to come at it from a different perspective and it will male the wait much more bearable. get excitedand write down things about about the prospects of where you can go and I bet things will move faster.


In the meantime, can you get a hobby that you really enjoy that doesn't require a lot of outside circumstances? Getting into photography was a great outlet for me because it can be both social and something I do alone, and messing with photos is something I can do at home when I don't have much else to do.