My sister is driving me nuts!

[LauraMoser]

Why do I have to be such a pushover? lol

My lil sis just told us a week ago that she is planning her wedding for February/March next year. She also told me I will be MOH.

Older sis is now constantly telling me her ideas for the bridal shower, but in a way that is much more like, "We're doing it this way!"

I really want to do a lot of the stuff myself, while still having older sis and mom help, since I know they want to. I just get so annoyed that whenever something like this is being planned, older sis immediately assumes and acts like she is in charge.

Back off and let me do some planning for a change! You don't always have to run the show!

Seriously though, I'm getting pretty close to telling her to back off until I ask for her help. It was a week ago I found out that I would even be planning a shower for January. Give me a little bit of time to figure out how exactly I want this shower to go (or more so, what lil sis would like best).

Stinking overbearing, pushy older sister, lol.

But on another note, what is the most memorable (in a good way) shower that you attended? What made it stand out to you?

I have determined it will be a brunch shower, with the good possibility of having a spa theme.

[Deleted]

Sounds like sibling dynamics.

Although I hate planning things, so if someone else had started planning stuff for the wedding I was in, I would have done a happy dance and walked away.

Showers aren't memorable. The best I hope for is good food and some wine.

[LauraMoser]

Token- It is sibling dynamics. Older sis is always like this. Just like every single family event has to be at her house. I don't think it'll ever change.

[dexteroni]

Oct 13, 2012 20:24:05 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Showers aren't memorable. The best I hope for is good food and some wine.

:Y:
Unless it's for a bad reason. Just make it a fun, relaxing time and you'll be fine. No games, or if the bride insists, only optional, low-key ones. And alcohol.

Don't bother with a theme. Bridal showers come with their own theme - it's called "you're getting married." I don't really understand how a bridal shower would even have a spa theme. Hopefully it wouldn't dictate the gifts* - if I were the bride, I would be annoyed if I got a ton of spa gifts I wouldn't use when I spent time putting together a registry.

*That's another rule. No dictating of gifts, attire, seating, behavior (other than normal socially acceptable brunch behavior), or anything. Let people have a good time, eat, drink, mingle, and have a good time.

But that doesn't mean you can let it drag on for three hours. Keep things moving quickly. The best shower memories I have are the ones where we got the F out of there as quickly as possible.

[dexteroni]

Oct 13, 2012 20:26:37 GMT -5 LauraMoser said:

Token- It is sibling dynamics. Older sis is always like this. Just like every single family event has to be at her house. I don't think it'll ever change.

Just don't involve her. Check in from time to time to let her and your mom know the progress. "OK I reserved X restaurant and ordered the cake from Y bakery. The menu so far is omelet station, potatoes, bacon, sandwich tray, and fruit salad."

Maybe give her some choice when it comes to the small issues. "Do you think pasta salad or green salad for a lunch-type side? For favors I was thinking A or B, which do you like better?"

Then for tasks, give her and your mom the list of things you need to have done and let them choose. "I need someone to come shopping with me for prizes and someone to help decorate."

But also, don't be a hostzilla. No one on earth is going to care if there are no favors or if there aren't as many decorations as you would like or if they're in a different color. Just make sure the bride has what she wants and that the guests have a good time. The rest is inconsequential.

[noodleoo]

Oct 13, 2012 20:41:05 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Oct 13, 2012 20:24:05 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Showers aren't memorable. The best I hope for is good food and some wine.

Unless it's for a bad reason. Just make it a fun, relaxing time and you'll be fine. No games, or if the bride insists, only optional, low-key ones. And alcohol.

Don't bother with a theme. Bridal showers come with their own theme - it's called "you're getting married." I don't really understand how a bridal shower would even have a spa theme. Hopefully it wouldn't dictate the gifts* - if I were the bride, I would be annoyed if I got a ton of spa gifts I wouldn't use when I spent time putting together a registry.

*That's another rule. No dictating of gifts, attire, seating, behavior (other than normal socially acceptable brunch behavior), or anything. Let people have a good time, eat, drink, mingle, and have a good time.

But that doesn't mean you can let it drag on for three hours. Keep things moving quickly. The best shower memories I have are the ones where we got the F out of there as quickly as possible.

Ditto this. I loved my surprise shower, but my MOH called it a garden theme, so I got a bunch of random garden stuff instead of registry gifts and I was pretty bummed. I ended up exchanging a lot of it since we don't have a garden, which made me feel guilty and was a pain.

Also second keeping it short. 2 hours of watching someone opening gifts is not fun for the guests.

As for your relationship with your older sister, you have to decide if it is worth standing up to her or not. Sibling relationships are tough. Sometimes you can change the dynamic, sometimes you will start WW III if you say anything. Depends on your sister. Just be careful if you do say something that it doesn't end up making drama that might ruin the shower.