Ridiculous FB statuses

[maucat]

In my commitment to try to help the board get moving, I've come up with a couple weekly threads I'll post. Sundays, I'll post the weekly roundup for sharing ridiculous/infuriating/idiotic/etc. Facebook statuses.

To kick it off:
This was posted by a woman I knew in high school. We're acquaintances :

"So, we have two cats (both belong to my boyfriend) and here in the city of Los Angeles (and surrounding cities like Culver City and Santa Monica), de-clawing is illegal as it deemed inhumane. They are both 8 years old and house cats. They never go outside. They hide when visitors come by, and they have never been around little children. I'm concerned, though, that when my daughter is born, that they may accidentally scratch her or hurt her. Anyone had similar issues with cats and newborns? Did anyone go so far as to declaw? Just curious....."

[imoan]

Jesus!

[maucat]

First off, it's too damn long even by my wall-o-text standards. Second, JFC your pwecious will survive a scratch or five. I told her that her child would survive as long as the scratch was cleaned, then posted links with info about why declawing IS inhumane.

[bullygirl979]

This was posted by an acquaintance regarding her college schedule. She went back to school this past year:

Course schedule is posted for next semester! Geomorph conflicts with chem, which is sad. I will have to take Radar and Satellite or Groundwater in its place.

Let me further this by saying she posted 7 status updates yesterday. No, really, 7.

[geekgirl]

Not to mention, that's how they teach the LOs what their limits are! Little Geek has only prompted ONE scratching. And he deserved it. He was pulling Odin's tail. Odin swatted (no claws) to get LG to stop. LG didn't, so Odin did what he had to do. I was there the whole time, told LG to stop, etc., and then realized he's going to have to figure it out on his own. Since then, LG and Odin have a very loving relationship and haven't had a problem since.

[maucat]

Bully, that's ridiculous. The 7 statuses and the bitching about courses with their titles. Like we all give a shit that she has to take Groundwater. I can't tell if it's a bragplaint, but it kinda seems like one to me.

[imoan]

I know a few college-age kids who make sure we all know they're taking fancy academic classes. You know, because most of us didn't attend college ::eye roll::

[malibu]

My favorite is my FB friend from high school who posts her work schedule. Every day.

[imoan]

I have a friend who posts every day about her love of coffee. Like it's a super unique thing to love. Every.fucking.day. Sometimes multiple times a day.

[maucat]

The only ones allowed to do that are coffee shops.

Also, I can't even be bothered to update every day. How do these people remember to do that and/or find the mental space to do so multiple times per day?

[bullygirl979]

Oct 14, 2012 16:08:07 GMT -5 maucat said:

Bully, that's ridiculous. The 7 statuses and the bitching about courses with their titles. Like we all give a shit that she has to take Groundwater. I can't tell if it's a bragplaint, but it kinda seems like one to me.

Um, she is like 30. And she posts multiple status updates every day. And they are always about shit that no one cares about.

Other recent examples include:

Long shift.......

Typical time i've gotten home this and last week: 9:30 pm. Officially tired.

Fact #1: i have now gotten in the habit of taking my vitamins every time i eat dinner at home. Fact #2: ive been eating at home about once a week

Seriously?? I don't give.a.fuck. I am really considering blocking her updates.

[imoan]

Jessimau, this girl also likes every single post anyone makes (and sometimes even likes the subsequent comments). I'm not kidding... Every single one. And it's usually IMMEDIATELY after it's been posted.. Like she just sits around all day and waits for people to post something on Facebook. She has a ft job and is a pretty busy girl... So I don't fucking get it.

[maucat]

Bully, I wouldn't blame you in the least.

Oh, another friend/acquaintance posted something along the lines of:

It's like magic how some people just disappear from your life once you have a child.

I wanted to reply how it's amazing how some people disappear from your life when they have a child and you don't, or how they don't seem to understand why you don't want to hang out when all they talk about is children and you cannot relate at all.

[bullygirl979]

Oct 14, 2012 16:21:20 GMT -5 maucat said:

Bully, I wouldn't blame you in the least.

Oh, another friend/acquaintance posted something along the lines of:

It's like magic how some people just disappear from your life once you have a child.

I wanted to reply how it's amazing how some people disappear from your life when they have a child and you don't, or how they don't seem to understand why you don't want to hang out when all they talk about is children and you cannot relate at all.

My name is Bullygirl, and I approve this message :Y:

[imoan]

Oh, I love the parents who think that THEY'RE the victims of that situation. I've been phased out because "we just don't have all that much in common anymore". Because for some people, all your previous interests go out the window the second you have a kid apparently.

[maucat]

I know her from a group of us who met on our local Knot board back in the day. The last time we all went out to a big dinner, they were talking about breastfeeding, L&D, and a whole bunch of other pregnancy- and child-related things. The few times I've been at get togethers since, they're all about kids and Weight Watchers and I feel completely out of place. I think I'm just done with the group.

[pinkplasticdoll]

Oct 14, 2012 16:18:55 GMT -5 imoan said:

Jessimau, this girl also likes every single post anyone makes (and sometimes even likes the subsequent comments). I'm not kidding... Every single one. And it's usually IMMEDIATELY after it's been posted.. Like she just sits around all day and waits for people to post something on Facebook. She has a ft job and is a pretty busy girl... So I don't fucking get it.

I CAN SEE YOU TALKING ABOUT MEE!!!!!!!!!!!

[imoan]

Lol ppd!

[geekgirl]

Oct 14, 2012 16:55:25 GMT -5 imoan said:

Oh, I love the parents who think that THEY'RE the victims of that situation. I've been phased out because "we just don't have all that much in common anymore". Because for some people, all your previous interests go out the window the second you have a kid apparently.

You know what else is on the same scale of awesome? When the same person who couldn't be bothered with you because, now that you've had a kid, you just don't fit in anymore gets KTFU and you're BFFs again. Because *now* you're at the same stage again, you know with the babehs and all.

We went through the same thing when they were wedding planning. Since DH and I were already married, we "didn't understand" orsumshit. Then, after the wedding (we were invited) they wanted to hang out and be all "we're married-couple-friends"!ELEVENTY!!1111!!!

I just don't understand this mindset at all.

[imoan]

Yuuuup geek! Have that going on myself!

[geekgirl]

Its the weirdest thing, isn't it? Its like "WTF was wrong with me before??? Oh, and if you think all I want to talk about is kid stuff... Guess again!" I think that's why I like my MOMS Club well enough, but its mostly that kind of talk. But its not the same as being able to be the real me, not watch what I say, be careful not to judge, blah blah blah.

The upside of this 'renewed' friendship (that's the only thing I can think of to call it) is that I'm able to unload some of my baby stuff on her that I've been trying to get rid of and haven't been able to. Fine, you want to use me? Take some shit outta my house before you leave! kthxbai!

[housegeek]

Theres this chick that I put on restricted because I have to be friends for "political" reasons, she is an awful human being. She complains about money, just got pregnant with #4 when she talks about never making the bills, when she also complains about her kids, every picture of them is filthy gross. But the one that really makes my blood pressure rise is her mistreatment of "pets". She buys them for the kids, gets tired of them in a couple months, and then sets them "free". Cats and a bunny so far
"We just had a Prince sighting! That's our bunny who ran away two months ago. Craig and the boys just saw him in our neighbors yard being chased by a cat."
and when someone told her to catch it because its domestic and shouldn't be outside, she put "This is awful but I don't really want him back. I'm severely allergic. My allergies have been sooooo much better since he left. And he seems happy living the life of a wild bunny. If I did catch him I'd find him a new home. After two months in the wild he'd be a terrible pet (he kind if was before)"
She just got a new dog too that shes already complaining about.
Stupid Bitch.

[laddie]

I thankfully don't get very much in the crazy department. Just this one guy I went to high school with got a girl pregnant while he's still married and the only thing he talks about now is the baby. But someone did post a funny today.

Picking up kids from school in 25 years

Mom: Yo shawty, leggoo.
Kid: Mom, please not this again.
Mom: Stop being a hater. YOLO.
Kid: You're embarrassing me.
Mom: Swag.

[Deleted]

I have a friend who was in the Navy for a few years, not a combat vet, hung around being a mechanic. He's in college now on a GI bill. He averages 10 posts a day between status updates and links. Most are about how he can't stand school, or the scuba class he's taking. Lately though it's been a lot of holier-than-thou I was in the military and am therefore superior to all the people who went to college at 18.

Bear in mind, he took 5 years to graduate high school and was honorably discharged from the Navy after not being able to lose enough weight. So...